BS: Where's Saddam?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 09:55 PM

Well, I can assure you of one thing...he is not in Twillingsgate. Neither is Tony Blair, who is even more unpopular here than Saddam Hussein, although that fool Winston is a big fan of his! You see, Winston is always delighted at the thought of massive military retaliation and bloodshed, regardless of whether it's necessary or even legal. I think he secretly admires Saddam too, but he's circumspect enough not to say so openly. He has long cherished a dream of running this whole town by lordly decree, and having statues of himself erected on every corner, I'm sure.

* PR

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 09:31 PM

All Enemies of US Declared "Probably Dead"

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 12:26 PM

Gawd, talk about your hideous tortures...!

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 12:43 AM

Maybe the quiz question is, "Which would you rather do, Gen. Achmed, tell us what you know about the WMD program or listen to some more Barry Manilow?"
Or is that against the Geneva Convention?

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 07:43 PM

LOL! Just what I was imagining...

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 06:20 PM

heric, made me think of 'quizzical', which to me implies a small grin. I suspect the actual quiz sessions are a good deal more serious. Or maybe they're having a tea party and from time to time they say, Oh, by the way, I was wondering...?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 05:21 PM

I wonder what prize he wins if he gives the correct answer? Maybe an all-expense-paid weekend in Disneyland?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST, heric
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 03:04 PM

"Allied forces are quizzing a key member of Saddam's regime over the whereabouts of the Iraqi dictator. "

I love that term, "quizzing." Reminds me of "Quiz Show."

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 02:46 PM

Did you see today's Abu Dhabi footage that purportedly shows Saddam on the streets of Baghdad on April 9th? Now, that's a fine how do you do.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 12:57 PM

Hey, troll, didn't you know there was such a thing as a socialist conservative? :-) Hell, they're the bane of socialism everywhere. They are just like capitalist conservatives...inflexible, wedded to the past, enamoured of rules and regulations, and inclined to resort to institutionalized violence to settle issues. They're humorless bastards, too. They give socialism a bad name wherever they go.

I suspect the Baath Party was just riddled with socialist conservatives.

Moving on, I don't think Saddam has been in Iraq for some time now...like, for years! He's been living in my hometown of Orillia. He's been calling himself "Carlos" and pretending he's from Costa Rica. If you met Carlos, you would realize immediately that he is actually Saddam Hussein. Same face, same moustache, same look, same everything. Carlos is working (sometimes) as a short order cook for various restaurants in town. He tends to drink rather heavily, and get morose. I think he is pretty ticked off about having to give up all those palaces, etc...and become just a short order cook.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 09:42 AM

Actually, according to the Information Minister, that statue that was so publically torn down was not a statue of Hussein at all. It was a statue of one of his doubles. So there, whitey -- you just can't get it right! :>)



A

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:55 PM

One of his stand-ins, I guess. They are all out of work now as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 09:49 PM

If that was Saddam at your WalMart, who the hell was that at MINE!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 08:48 PM

Hey folks, if any of you have any doubts, I DEFINATELY saw Saddam working as a greeter at my local WalMart! He looked spiffy in his new job. He even handed out little bags of white stuff to folks as they came in. Said it was a little gift he and his friends cooked up for folks for Easter!

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST, heric
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 02:01 PM

The statues were merely being taken down for cleaning.
(Letterman?)

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,comical ali
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 01:54 PM

looks like they really did get Saddam with that missile strike.
Apparently a search of the crater turned up his trademark beret and
cigar.





Then again it could be Monica Lewinsky.

when the statue of saddam came down the iraqi info. minister said,
That wasnt a statue of saddam, that was one of his doubles.

www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: InOBU
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 02:23 PM

NO SHIT GUYS! He is driving a cab in New York, had a really wild ride and a talk with him this morning. He is OK, small bandaid on his chin, but full of puss and vinigar, and what's more, he knows how to get through traffic! Chemical Ali opened up a chili house in Memphis.
Cheers
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 01:11 PM

No, LH. The Baathists are Socialists.
Saddam -if he is alive- is probably in Syria. It seems that a number of his generals have been spotted in both Damascus and Latakiya. This according to one of the talking head retired generals who keep popping up to explain everything to us.
If I can locate any attribution, I will post it.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: MC Fat
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 09:28 AM

Heis on the the 'Weapons of Mass Destruction' and 'Chemical and Biological Weapons' sales counter of Netto's Supermarket in Mexborough. I know cos I've seen him there. Honest !! By the way for any rogue statesmen out there it's all going cheap.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 09:13 AM

So...he's a conservative, right?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,Banjoman
Date: 10 Apr 03 - 07:43 AM

Saddam is alive and well serving on Hampshire County Council currently uprating local taxes by over 25% and threatening dire consequences to any who object.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 10:49 PM

He could have traded his first-born -- an honorable tradition from the Old Testament....


A

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: GUEST,walking Eagle
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:12 PM

I often wonder why Bush the First didn't give Israeli 'operatives' the winking nod go-ahead to nail Husseins' a+s as an exchange for sitting out GW1?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 12:43 PM

So far this morning Mohammed the Entertainer (a.k.a. Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, Iraq's Information Minister) has yet to show up for work. But that's OK. There's a capable replacement. "Iraq will not be defeated," said the Iraqi ambassador to the Arab League, Mohsen Khalil, according to the Post. "Iraq has now already achieved victory--apart from some technicalities..."

---

Hmmmmmm?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 09:16 AM

Wolfie, we cross posted.....Please see my above post as I have ferreted out the infomation!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:42 AM

And where is his information minister?
I would have loved to hear him today after he has told each day that (1) no American soldier is in Baghdad and (2) all those that have been in there have been thrown out completely and (3) that those few who remain are being slaughtered.

Today, when it really would have been fun to watch him doing his job he is absent. What a pity.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:41 AM

Yeah, the world is lessened for me as Ol' Baghdad Bob, the Info Minister, has not shown up today..........I've really enjoyed his reality reports from Fantasyland. I figure he was cornholed by an Abrams while taping his report that the American, mercenary, infidel has been driven out of the hemisphere entirely. I mean hell, it was at least a change of pace and I heard he had offers to do a stand-up act at the Improv.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Gareth
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:33 AM

Mind you, this could present a problem.

I can see it now, the doubles meeting room in a bunker somewhere under Iraq.

"I have some good news and some bad news. First the good news, our glorious leader is alive. The bad news, both his legs have been amputated"

Gareth -**BG**-

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Sean Waltman
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 08:03 AM

Latest reports on CNN indicate that Saddam is definitely either dead or alive.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 05:16 AM

There's been no appearances by his nibs or the Info Minister since the last "strike". Perhaps he's in his "happy place" ?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 09 Apr 03 - 12:40 AM

About 14 miles north of Gainesville Fla. at the junction of SR 24 and US 301. Look on any good road map, Greg.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 11:38 PM

The hypothesis now is that he escaped the bombs directed at him. But it is all speculation at this point.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Greg F.
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 02:30 PM

Of equal if not greater import to the current state of world affairs:

Where's Waldo?

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: jimmyt
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 11:28 AM

with any luck at all, the bastard is checking in to hell about now.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Willie-O
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 10:36 AM

Geez, Troll, he has so many doubles, how can anyone be so sure where he hasn't been in the past 24 years? (Iraqi TV report: "Saddam's gone on holiday for two weeks, if you were thinking of a coup, now would be a good time"...I don't think so)

We know what middle eastern governments Saddam doesn't have good relations with--Iran, Turkey, Israel of course, Egypt. But what about Syria, Jordan, Libya (remember Quadaffi? your big bogeyman from a couple of decades ago? they have considerable ideological commonality, but Quadaffi is keeping a low profile these days...)

But he certainly has a lot of friends, mostly among non-governmental agencies if you will. He's been rather generous with his money after all, sending cash payments to the families of Palestinians who have died in the Intifada (best payout goes to a suicide bomber). I've heard them interviewed on the radio. Funny how money makes the heart grow fonder, that and a common enemy.

Just as you won't find any national leaders standing up and cheering for bin Laden today, whatever they think, whoever they know, whatever communication channels they have. Do you think OBL is still free because he blends into a crowd well? I don't. That's the point--we can't name all the people who are inclined to help him, but we know they are there! Pakistan is a fascinating place, for sure. It appears to be the Casablanca of this era, where everyone plays all sides against each other.   

But yeah, time will tell. SH might indeed be grease-stain under a lot of rubble by now...

W-O

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 10:26 AM

The cousin, that's an idea which could work.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Alba
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 10:12 AM

It says in a MSNBC report Wolfgang, that Intelligence sources have told Reporters that they have no DNA for Saddam , which is making identification more difficult...dang near impossible then I'd say!!!
What about the "Cousin" called Chemical Ali, that was reported killed last week. Could his DNA provide a sample that could be matched, but then is he really Saddam's Cousin or just another body double posing as Saddam's Cousin.......
I tend to think that Saddam got to hell out a while agao, but then again maybe we shall never really know....what with all the doubles out there the question arises "Would the real Saddam please stand up"!! That is highly unlikely though!

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Wolfgang
Date: 08 Apr 03 - 08:53 AM

It seems to be quite clear by now that the man in the street was not Saddam. One newspaper mentioned even the name of the lookalike (publsihed in an Arab newspaper.

What interests me now are the reports that they are searching in the rubbles of one house bombed last night for human remains for DNA tests for Saddam. Now I'd love to know how they did get a comparison sample against which to match the sample found in the rubble.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Apr 03 - 05:32 PM

I have had this bizarre daydream straight out of "Atlas Shrugged" of Bin Laden and Saddam and a host of others who have and will go walkies, hidden away in the Rocky Mountains, monitoring everything we say and do, occasionally stopping a clock or two, and waiting for the right moment to return and re-establish a government.
It's cabin fever, no doubt. Snowing again.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Apr 03 - 05:19 PM

Troll-

Thanks for your more amplified comments. Your sources may be on to something with regard to the real Saddam (which rhymes nicely with "Green Eggs and Ham" by the way). I do tend to forget that Colin Powell may not check in here before deciding just what to say or do each day.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 05 Apr 03 - 03:38 PM

Charley, according to a gentleman whose name I did not catch, but who claims to be an old "Middle East Hand" of some 50 years standing with several dozen books on the area to his credit, the man who made the speech was probably Saddam but the man in the street scenes was not. He appeared on the O'Reilly Factor and his reasons were as follows. He has known Saddam for about 30 years and has met with him on numerous ocassions. He said that the whole thing rang false. Saddam Hates crowds and fears them as well.He rarely lets anyone get near him, even those of his inner circle. The gustures were not Saddams. They were totally atypical. He is naturally dour and the scene with the child was atypical. He doesn't like children. He doesn't like to be touched, and if touching is done it is he who initiates it.
Thats all I can recall right now but it seems to me to me sufficient. As for the mole, I did mention that his doubles were surgically enhanced to make the imposture as believable as possible.
The professional analysts don't all agree and even if they did, all I did was present a possible answer on the Mudcat Forum. It's not like I was briefing Colin Powell.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Apr 03 - 03:12 PM

How about, alive/dead, free/captive, in a bunker under the Palestine Hotel where all the foreign journalists are staying? You know his position on Palestine after all... They say Iraqi TV is operating there under cover too.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 05 Apr 03 - 09:14 AM

Saddam's absence or presence doesn't matter a whole lot at this point, but I'll be curious to see if Troll and Teribus are more astute than the professional analysts who say this is a true sighting.

Hey, there's that mole on his upper left cheek, large as life!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Apr 03 - 05:36 AM

He talked about the Apache, the fact that the Yanks skirted the Iraqis on their push north, the airport... and some vague ref's.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Teribus
Date: 05 Apr 03 - 04:17 AM

Willie-O,

"Look. The guy's ruthless, shrewd, has a lot of resources, and has friends all over the diciest parts of the Middle East and southern Asia."

Name them, Saddam Hussein has not left Iraq since taking over power in 1979. He has few friends in the international community, and those he had would never dare provide him with sanctuary.

As Troll says above, the pictures shown yesterday of Saddam walking through the streets - does not match.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Troll
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 08:27 PM

I must disagree, willie-O.Ebbies post agreees with all the psych profiles that I have seen on Saddam over the last ten or so years. He has been KING. He can never accept being less.
Regarding his appearance today, voice analysis will soon tell us if it was him speaking in the address to the world. Ragarding the outside shots, hi has several doubles who, if the reports are right, have been surgically altered to enhance the resemblence. There were people rushing up to kiss his hand and that doesn't ring true for Saddam. The only people who ever get near him do so only under rigidly controlled conditions.
It probably was all staged but it still feels wrong.
Another thing, why did he bother to do the outside shots. The Iraqi people can't watch him on TV. It's been knocked out. Only someone with satellite could pick him up in-country and a permit for a dish is virtually impossible to get. I think that the whole show was for foreign consumption.
I realize that the Baath Party is well organized, but the whole focus has been on the personallity cult of Saddam Hussein. With him gone, the power vacuum at the top -even if only symbolic- could easily pull the whole structure down as the # 2's and 3's struggle for the top spot. They are accustomed to having the Strong Man at the top and they may not be able to keep the rank and file in line without it. I know that Saday has been named his successor, but what if he's "not available"?
It is a puzzlement. Time will tell.

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 08:04 PM

Apparently Saddam's alive enough to appear today on Baghdad streets with smoke plumes in the background. Probably this was at the insistance of Hollywood producers who offered him big bucks to add this scene, but THEY wouldn't have done that, would they?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Gareth
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 05:55 PM

Hmmm ! Didn't another ex American client, Somaza (?), choose exile ? But the asassins got him.

Will somebody correct me if I am wrong.

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 02:06 PM

On last night's Charlie Rose, Ken Pollack who has covered Iraq and the Middle East for years said that it is not likely that Saddam will seek refuge in another country. He said that Saddam himself has said that with as many enemies as he has and as many attempts on his life as have been made, if he weren't the leader he couldn't live. Without his power base he wouldn't have the means to protect himself against his enemies.

What a way to live. And die.

Subject: RE: BS: Where's Saddam?
From: Willie-O
Date: 04 Apr 03 - 01:46 PM

Well, he was here, but he's gone now.

Seriously, though, you are wrong, Troll. (Perhaps for the first time ever.) This regime is no top-heavy house of cards. From what I've heard, the Ba'ath party is the most organized political apparatus in the entire Arab world. It has thousands of members who have invested their lives in it, most of whom are very tough and nasty people who know what kind of future they have in an American-controlled Iraq. Less than zero.   

It would be the tidiest thing for all concerned if SH would pop out of his bunker, make some high-profile last-ditch stand, and go down in a grand fireworks display. But I have my serious doubts that that's going to happen.

Look. The guy's ruthless, shrewd, has a lot of resources, and has friends all over the diciest parts of the Middle East and southern Asia. And hates the U.S. Does that remind you of anyone?

I think there's at least a 50-50 chance that instead of being a regional despot thoroughly contained within his own borders, he's aspiring to start a new career as a second bin Laden, with an obvious appetite for vengeance and a hell of a lot less to lose. He's certainly a megalomaniac optimist, but he's not insane, and if he sees a chance to play for more time by leaving the country, that's what he'll do. Think he hadn't planned on just maybe having to leave town?

W-O