BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: khandu
Date: 17 Apr 03 - 11:27 PM

Naw, naw naw, Donny! I, khandu, the King of Mississippi, will handle this little bit of dookey with my Royal Forkers. Not to worry. We are well able to take control of the situation!

King-able to take control-khandu

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Tweed
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 10:50 AM

Spaw,
I hab commissioned a group of gypsies wif a low-boy to haul them Pattydolls up yore way. They have assurred me thet they will drive all nite to make delivery to you on time but required me to pay 'em up front, so I wrote a couple more checks from the batch the bank sent. I hab not tole my wife about it though az she thinks since she took control of all things financial twenty years back thet I don't even know how to fill em out ennymor.....an' she is sorta right about that, so I jest signed my X at the bottom and will let them fellers sort it out when they hab time.

You may rest easy in the noledge thet I am fulfilling my part for this gala event. I hope thet khandoo iz able to git hiz head outta pore Joe Offer's ass long enough to appreciate the effort we are going through to bring him back to earth and summat normal thinking patterns, but I doubt it az he is purdy far gone off the scale this time.

Keep an eye out for the lowboy. Thar will be about a dozen foreighnerz on it squeezin' accordians and sawing fiddles. A happier bunch you will never see.

Yerz,
Tweedzzrz

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 02:27 PM

Thank you, King Khandu, and welcome to my humble crapper.

Sorry Will. Just doing like the man said. He said I'm supposed to keep the boys out of trouble. Nothing like some nice meds to do the job right. But you can have all the possum shaped animal crackers you want before you fall asleep.

Great picture, Tweed!

Spaw, do we need to bring our own lawn chairs or anything?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 03:50 PM

I'll be comin' down on my Moped. You can call me Moped Mamma. Anyway I changed my mind about the playmate Paul dolls with the projectile penises.I think I will fill them with helium and you'll recognize me on my Moped with a bunch of Paul doll balloons with strings attached to the projectile penises. Oh yeah, I'll be hauling a cotten candy machine behind me too, all the money I make will go to you Spaw to make your un-birthday celebration real good, that is unless King Khandu's troops don't get you first.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 08:11 PM

Well it's over.......The first, and I hope last, Super Mind Altering and Semi-Patriotic Fireworks and Flaming Asshole Gala. I don't know why or how this stuff starts but anytime I use Cletus for anything, the one sure thing is that I'll end up with a long list of people wanting money from me. It started off so well............

The plan was simple. All we wanted to do was bring khandu back to his senses and knowing that a good cross burning might do the job, we started there. I mean hell, he's Mississippi boy and cross burning is a genetic trait. He had become a slave and a brown noser to, of all people, Joe Offer. Something had to be done. Somehow we got carried away. Tweed acquired through Bobertz, some Patty Poopchute and Harry Hardtool anatomically correct party dols and we thought we might possibly use them as well. It's my fault though.....Has anything ever gone right when Cletus, Paw, Buford, and the Reg boys are involved?

Paw went down to the lumber yard and liberated some skids and the Reg boys ripped them apart. The plan was to make 143 crosses with the skid wood and duct tape. Buford got involved and said the first one didn't look right to him. Why in the hell anything would look right to Buford is beyond me as the boy is always tanked up on Iron City and when he's not burping, he's whizzing on Mrs. Clanahan's peonies. But Paw agreed with him and they headed off to find a cross for a model. They ended up going to the Church of Evangelical Hollering and Tongue Talking Mohunkers where the good folks were happy to oblige. Of course the Rollers misunderstood the reasons here and, this being Good Friday and all, thought the crosses were being made for a religious ceremony and Paw told them to come by at 8 PM, or a little before so as to get a good seat. I wish he had told me........

About 3 PM the crosses were finished and the Boys started taking things up to the little picnic grove on 664 adjoining Ol' Man Rafferty's place. For all his faults, Rafferty is a religious old coot and was excited to see the crosses being erected on Good Friday. I guess he thought Cletus had turned over a new leaf. Paw went over to talk with him even though Rafferty still held him responsible for the destruction of his mailbox and a Buick hubcap after the Great Magnetic Ass-Healing Ring debacle. Paw commented on the new mailbox and hubcap while once again Rafferty was washing the aging Buick deuce and a quarter. Rafferty said he and his very religious wife would certainly be sitting out on their porch and it would be even better than going to Church as they had planned. Once again, I wish someone had told me..................

Since the Reg boys aren't any too talkative they were given the job of blowing up the Harry Hardtool dolls and stuffing their "tools" with Roman candles and bottle rockets (with whistle and report). It was a big job but they got it done. Meanwhile Cletus and Paw had filled the Patty Poopchute dolls with propane. They all worked together to drive the crosses into the ground and attached the Patty Poopchute dolls to the top. Cletus said they wouldn't be soaking the crosses in kerosene until just before they lit them which seemed okay to me.

I had arrived to check in on all of this at about 5:30 and truthfully, I was impressed at what they had accomplished! Now I knew that these good feelings were generally the portend of bad things to come, but the mind is a funny thing and we often forget the past in an effort to hold out hope for a new beginning. This seems to be what happened to me as I felt genuinely good about trying to bring this thing off and that perhaps, for once, Cletus, Paw, Buford, and the Reg boys may have gotten it right.   Once again, I should have relied on past experience.............

The crosses were in the ground on a slight embankment with a propane filled Patty Poopchute mounted atop each one. Leaning against the embankment and in front of each were the Harry Hardtool dolls with their dorks pointing skyward and filled with Roman candles and bottle rockets (with whistle and report). This is a pretty conservative little place so I thought maybe the dolls would be better if they were covered or clothed and I ask the Boys to do so and they told me they'd do it....."No Problem Spaw." That should have clued me in but it didn't. My other suggestion was that because a light breeze had come up, it might be good to tie the Harry Hardtools to something so they didn't blow away. Again, I don't know what the fuck I was thinking..................

I should now take this chance to thank those who so valiantly helped in this and I want to extend my thanks to them for their part in trying to save Brother khandu. Carol, Tweed, Young Will, even Bobertz.......You all did your jobs and performed magnificently. I cannot thank you enough and to prove it, I have kept your part in this as well as your names out of the Sheriff's report. Additionally, you are free to disavow any knowledge of me or that you were ever even within a hundred miles of here. You have to admit though, it was one helluav' show!

On the chance that we might need the services of the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, I asked for the Insanevac Chopper to be standing by. I spent the next few hours at home with Karen and the kids, eating supper and coloring Easter Eggs. When I heard the sound of the chopper I realized that several hours had passed and I was almost late for the show. I leashed up the two Weimaraners and headed for the park. Karen and the kids wanted to go but I suggested they stay home in case something went awry. This was the only good decision I made in the entire day. Besides, the "Royal Forkers" khandu had sent to surround my house had instead turned out to "mortar forkers" and had just completed the new barbeque out back and were busy working on a smokehouse. I told Karen it was better for her to keep an eye on them to be sure they were working according to plan. With Jaeger and Sissy happy to be going for a walk, I headed for the gala event.

When I arrived, a few things caught my eye right away, but it was too late to turn back. First, each Patty Poopchute doll had a purple robe like affair on them. I realized right away that the material had come from a hot air balloon that Cletus and Paw had accidentally shot down a few years ago (that's another story). Sitting atop the crosses in their purple robes, they were really quite attractive. Additionally, the Harry Hardtool dolls all were wrapped about waist with old towels in a loincloth sort of get-up. To keep the Harry dolls in place, they had tied each wrist to something or another which left their arms outstretched. Also, out front of everything was the biggest Dago Bomb I ever saw. It turns out Cletus and the Boys had bought it down in Tennessee on one of their trips south to a festival where they had contracted for the porta-potty business with their company, "Crappers on Casters." And....they had been good enough to park one of their C on C's about 50 feet to the left, over toward Rafferty's place. I stood for a moment and took it all in. Suddenly it hit me. In the purple robes and loincloths, with the outstretched arms and crosses, this looked like some Christian tableau from Hell! There they were, 143 Virgin Marys, atop 143 crosses, with 143 Jesus Christs below! My mind went numb as I began to realize that somehow this extravaganza was not going to go well at all.............

Before I could utter a word I saw Ol' Man Rafferty and his wife on their porch in prayer. About then the Church Bus bearing the members of the Church of Evangelical Hollering and Tongue Talking Mohunkers arrived in the grove.   They literally ran off the bus dropping to their knees. I tell you they went down faster than a cheap whore on a Liberian tanker. I was rapidly becoming almost paralyzed. I couldn't speak although I wanted to scream. The main thing I wanted to scream was "NO" but the best that came from my throat was a tiny croak like a dying frog with laryngitis. Not over yet though................

Tweed drove a van in and he and Carol emerged from the front with a look of trepidation on their faces as they took in the scene before them. Wrongly figuring that I had this planned, they opened the back doors and Will and Bobertz hopped out. They all four then removed khandu. Okay, it wasn't their fault they had to subdue him...I know that. And frankly it was very creative the way they had wrapped him up in duct tape from head to foot with only his eyes looking out. Even from where I was I could see he was mad. But I still thought that this cross burning gone haywire might cure him of his shameless brown nosing of Joe Offer. But the way he was wrapped reminded the church folk of Jesus in the tomb I guess, with the duct tape as a sticky Shroud of Turin. In any case they turned and started praying in that direction also. Tweed, Carol, Will, and Bobertz, were busy propping khandu up so he could see when I noticed that the Reg boys were liberally soaking the crosses and the ground in between with kerosene. I had to stop this...............

Cletus and Paw were all smiles, quite proud of what they had done and when I came stammering up to them they were a bit confused. I tried to somehow make them see what I saw but it wasn't working because my mind was moving faster than my mouth and these guys were never too sharp on the best of days. Each of the Weims was licking one of Paw's hands when I finally got through a bit to Cletus. After listening to the whole thing he said, "Don't worry Catspaw, even I know that Jesus had blonde hair and that guy don't look nothin' like him." This made no sense and once again I was so dumbstruck I was speechless. Cletus capped that with, "Besides look how happy Jaeger and Sissy are!"   After what seemed like an hour, but was probably only a few seconds of pondering that inanity, I blurted, "You stupid shit!! They're fucking DOGS!!!!" This didn't bother ol' Clete in the least and he and Paw walked off happily to get the show started. I swear to you all, I would have done anything to stop it, but the whole thing had moved not only beyond my control but into another dimension as well. From this point on, it seemed as though I watched what happened as a sort of out of body experience; just a casual observer noting the events unfolding.

In a scene like none imagined by Machiavelli it all began. Paw bent over by the crosses and flared off a monster fart. The flame shot across to the nearest cross, much like what happened in their Christmas tree disaster, and within seconds, 143 crosses were burning brightly. Cletus ran to the front and lit the monster Dago Bomb. There was one more realization to go though. Turns out they had tied the wrists of the Harry/Jesus dolls to the ankles of the Patty/Virgin Mary dolls which explained the outstretched arms. This realization only came to me as the flames ignited Patty/Mary's poopchute where the plastic was thinnest and melted first. The propane ignited and up they went......each dragging a Harry/Jesus behind. Maybe halfway to the top of their trajectory the flames ignited the Roman candles and bottle rockets in the Harry/Jesus dicks.

I gotta' tell y'all........It was a sight to behold. 143 Virgin Marys launched off of flaming crosses with their assholes trailing flame while 143 Jesus Christs ascended behind them, twirling gaily with their cocks spouting red, white, and blue balls and rockets (with whistle and report) screaming off in all directions followed by a series of bangs. Simply amazing. The church members lost all control and began flopping around on the ground, talking in tongues, and generally having a pretty good time. Rafferty's wife on the other hand seemed to be having a possible heart attack. But it gets worse..........

Cletus was so shocked at the sudden ignition of the crosses that in trying to get away from the Dago Bomb he knocked it on it's side. A massive fireball shot out and smashed underneath the porta-potty. Obviously they hadn't cleaned it or something and the methane fumes had built up. The crapper shot skyward too and the methane must have been in prodigious quantities as the fiery outhouse travelled over a mile before crashing through the roof of the condom factory, setting it ablaze. Several explosions have come from that direction and a paramedic attending Mrs. Rafferty said that a vat of latex had blown and completely covered the Church of Evangelical Hollering and Tongue Talking Mohunkers which is located just across the street.

The missing outhouse now opened the range and the Dago Bomb fired off another even more monstrous ball of fire. This time the charge landed underneath Ol'Man Rafferty's Buick and it blew up right there in his driveway. About this time the cops showed up and an ambulance was called for Mrs. Rafferty. Tweed, Carol, Bobertz, and Will were shell shocked as I was, but what was really important to us was our friend Ken. Had we brought him back? We quickly ripped the duct tape off removing small portions of skin and hair in the process. The church folks were gathering up the tape remnants which I suppose they think are now Holy Relics. I dunno' what the hell they're going to think when they arrive back at their church....which should be about now.

Khandu lay on the gurney and the anger was gone from his eyes. As a matter of fact, everything was gone from his eyes! He was completely catatonic. We loaded him aboard the NYCFTTS Insanevac Chopper for a trip to the new wing where the James Taylor Rehab Unit on Catatonic Blandness is located. We can just hope I guess.......

As for me, I foresee a long night of police and fire reports, possible fines, lawyer fees, and threats of incarceration, racing around my brain. Sweet Jesus, I need some drugs..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Tweed
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 10:32 PM

Khandu lay on the gurney and the anger was gone from his eyes. As a matter of fact, everything was gone from his eyes! He was completely catatonic. We loaded him aboard the NYCFTTS Insanevac Chopper for a trip to the new wing where the James Taylor Rehab Unit on Catatonic Blandness is located. We can just hope I guess.......

O well, goddammit,that last part finished me off Spaw....I habv officially lost all my senses and feeling in my extremities....Another fine installment for the CHRONICLES. You are the master....

Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 10:40 PM

Ditto, Spawzer. And now on to "Rest of then Story"...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 12:22 AM

Thanks Tweed! Bobertz, as to the rest of the story, I ain't got nothin' left! I tell ya, this has been a fine non-birthday thread. It's been awhile since I was inspired to a tale of "the Boys" and you all certainly did that for me....So thanks back atcha'!

And I see you already noticed I left you a copy at The Boardinghouse!!!

I think I'll go and limit my replies to the other "FIREWORKS" thread. I reckon that 9 or 10 days for a "Non-Birhday ought to be enough and I AM looking forward to seeing how Brother Ken comes out of this. I see on the other thread that he's undergoing treatment right now.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 12:20 PM

Have any of you guys seen "Red Fireworks; Green Fireworks", a foreign film? This puts me in mind of the finale. Rent it today.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 04:26 PM

Does anyone know if Rustic Rebel made it safely back home? While I was watching the fireworks, I noticed what looked like a woman on a Moped dangling from a bunch of Playmate Paul dolls floating by about 200 feet up in the air, coming in from the north and heading south.

Man, what a night.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 07:25 PM

My dear Catspaw49,

On behalf of English mudcatters in the general area of the Twillingsgate-Hull region, I wish to belatedly wish you a very happy Unbirthday.

You must know, sir, that you are living proof of every ugly suspicion we British have about American Midwesterners. It's a shame to see such obvious talent going to waste composing tales which revolve around flatulence, but that is the trouble with free will. In idle hands it can oft go astray...

I can't help but wonder what would have occurred if you had in your youth put your efforts into Shakespearian theatre or ballet instead. I should think the results would have been quite striking.

Ms Penelope R.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Tweed
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 07:32 PM

It IS the fugitive lunatic khandu and disguised as a woman!! Quick! The net! The duct tape! Don't let him slip away!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Sorcha
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 09:10 PM

ROFLMAO! I think this is the best one yet...........

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 09:25 PM

Yo khanny... Pssssft... khanny.... Shhhussshhh.... Quiet, or they'll hear us...

Ahhh, yer welcome to stay in by double decker bus until this thing blows over...

But, fir Heaven's sake don't tell a soul, ir it'll be you and poor ol' me's butt in their fire.

Hey, I'll leave the key under the mat.

Rememeber, not a word to no one. Got it?

Cool.

Obertsbay...

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 06:40 PM

Ballet??? Spaw, Cletus, Paw and the Reg Boys in a ballet????? HMMMMMM Nureyev and Miss Piggy did Swine Lake to death. What can we select for this crew?????? Giselle? Just think what Paw and Spaw would make of the Willies. Or Carmen. She does work in a match factory...that has possibilities. OH I KNOW!!!! The Firebird!

Tinker can handle costumes; Rick Fielding can build the sets. InObu can con his firefighter friends in to look things over just to make sure no one gets hurt. Is there a stage at the NYCFTTS? Can we use the Jell-o Pit? Red Jell-o, I think... I needed something to take my mind off my troubles. So...who's in???

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Amos
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 06:44 PM

Dear Gawd,

Look down upon our troubled friends below and forgive them. It surely took transcendental brilliance to invent methane, but only the most perverted and abysmal confusion to become so fixated upon it!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Tweed
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 07:28 PM

Yes, your right about that Amos, but think of the story layout....
The heroine working at the local match factory...the new Church building of the Tongue Talking Bohunkers....across from the sewage treatment plant...

I can barely wait til the Fourth of July for the next episode in the saga.

Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 07:55 PM

Why July Fourth? Flag Day is June 19th. Hell! Mother's Day is the end of May. Isn't this Boiled Egg Week or Month????? matches and Spaw and boiled eggs...WOW!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 03 - 11:52 PM

Why are we wasting bandwidth on this when we could praise William Shatner? Why???

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 12:44 AM

Because on his best day, Shatner never sent even one Jesus Christ to the heavens. I recently received a note from Mr. Shatner to that effect and stating that he is often humbled in my presence and even upon simply hearing my name is filled with deep admiration. He went on to state that his life is often lonely, having no friends or admirers left, save one fuckin' pathetic, broke-dick, Mamalucca in the hinterlands of Ontario.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 01:38 AM

Holy Cow....Spaw Man ... you had a birthday and I missed it!! .. I do hope it was a happy one...I think of you often!

LL

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 06:41 AM

Don't worry LL, this is only the pre-game "Spaw's Unbirfday" thread. There's still a couple months of this to go before the real thing;~)

Tweed

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 11:09 AM

Hey LH... we've been seeing Mr. Shatner on some late nite re-runs of Third Rock From the Sun lately. He plays The Big Giant Head on that show. He's a funny man. Personally I think TBGH on TRFS is his best work so far.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: MMario
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 11:11 AM

'SPAW! How's the un-birthday coming?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 11:37 AM

This is such a strange community -- where else would you find people spending this much time on a birthday that never happened?

A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 01:16 PM

Actually Amos, I object to your use of the word "strange." Simply because we don't understand something or that some belief is differenent than our personal norm is no reason to bring such thoughts as "strange" into a public forum........or words to that effect.

As it happens, I find the entire thing really freakin' weird! Here we have a birthday thread that has run for almost 3 weeks now and includes some of the wackiest postings to ever run on the 'Cat and in point of fact is celebrating a non-birthday............yeah, well........What can I say................strange may have it locked up in a nutshell....emphasis on "nuts."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 01:33 PM

The Mudcat is the world on the other side of the looking glass. What's so difficult to understand about that? Makes perfect sense to me...

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: MMario
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 01:34 PM

More tea, Carol?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 01:36 PM

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Amos
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 01:38 PM

ROTFLMA, Pat. Only in your vicinity....maybe 6there's more topt his methane business than meets the .... um... eye.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 07:15 PM

Hmmmm...

Define "Mamalucca", please. I have to decide whether I've been impugned or not.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: khandu
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 08:51 PM

You know, I have never in my entire Mudcat life seen Joe Offer express his disdain for non-birthdays! Perhaps, he secretly likes them!! The coy little devil!

Kk

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 10:20 PM

Ahhh, Amos...

Me and the Wes Ginny slide rule been at this fir at least 5 or 3 minutes and have come up with the corn-clusion that when it come to menthane it has nothin' to do with what "meets the eyes".

Ahhh, might wanta try another sense...

But, since Iz here, I can't 'member if I ever extendercated a Happy Unbirthday to Spawzer. Sorry, but in all the pyro-technics I kinda lostb rack of the fact that this ain't got a danged thing to do with yer birthday so let me go one record of jus' sayin' "Happy Non-Birthday, Spawzer, and many more...."

(Sniff, these un-birthdays get me all misty eyed...)

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 10:41 PM

Geez...got taken again!!!
You otta be ashamed of yer self Pat! Two years on the Cat and I've never had a birthday thead... and this isn't even the real thing...hmmm... makes one wonder!

LL

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: CarolC
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 11:01 PM

Happy Birthday, Lyrical Lady!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Apr 03 - 11:28 PM

Ditto, LL. And many, many more.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 12:25 AM

LL --

Do NOT succumb to the temptation to be jealous of Spaw ... that way lies madness. Your real birthday is as gold over dross compared to his fraudulent one!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 07:02 AM

Hi Barb!!! Sorry you got taken in but on the other hand, you're now at least sharing a few non-birthday greetings with me! AS we go into week 4 of this non-birthday thread, let me wish you

HAPPY NON-BIRTHDAY
LYRICAL LADY!!!

There ya' go Barb, and when a real one hits, I promise you a real thread of your very own!!! Until then, let's ALL wish Barb a Happy Non-Birthday!

Spaw (Had a nasty attack a few weeks ago from slightly undercooked brown rice)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 01:04 PM

Happy No-Birthday Lyrical Lady and few, few less!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 01:12 PM

I am perfectly willing to wish anyone not having a birthday today the very merriest of un-birthdays!

Now - would everyone please move one place to the left?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Apr 03 - 10:38 PM

Yes Mario....But will you do the same tomorrow???

HEY BARB.....When IS your real birthday anyway? I didn't see it in the list.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: khandu
Date: 25 Apr 03 - 10:06 PM

Barb, don't fall for that. He couldn't care less what date your birthday is! He is so transparent. He is just trying to keep this "un-birthday" thread on the board another day. Just watch...he will come up with some other lame idea soon, but we all see through him!

But, what the heck...the boy saved my brain!

Ken-I'm mo betta-khandu

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 12:56 PM

Well khandu, it was a small task. You do have a good thought in it though because just as this thread was about to drop off the daily list last night, YOU refreshed it!!!! It's not that I want the fame and glory, but at this point I have hope that it has become an irritation to garg! The temptation to ask it to be moved up top for awhile is pretty strong, but I think it might put poor Joe over the edge as well.

BARB!! When IS your birthday????

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Amos
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 03:38 PM

Isn't this a musical thread, after all -- "Happy Birthday" is surely one of the oldest folksongs known!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: khandu
Date: 26 Apr 03 - 09:35 PM

Barb...we are waiting....when is your birthday?

k

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 01:11 AM

(Geeze, I hope no-one takes that last post seriously!!!)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 02:45 AM

August 14th... and if any of you forget I will be most upset!! LOL!
Sorry to hear about your rice attack Spaw!!.. I had one too! Not rice...raisins... is nothing sacred?!!
NOW PAT... when is YOUR real birthday??
Thanks for the good wishes... I feel completely un-done!!

LL

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: MMario
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 12:13 PM

Catspaw was never truly born - he evolved. From just what - no one is quite sure, though it is said that Cletus, Reg, Reg, and especially Reg have a number of theories.


Then there were those rumours about robots and 'we can rebuild him'

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Apr 03 - 12:23 PM

If you want everyone to move one seat to the left, MM, shout "Shift!" and sing "A very happy un-birthday to you (to me???) to you"

Maybe we can move this party over to the tavern and bring the Cheshire Cat along. He will drive the snat crazy with all his comings and goings.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthday Spaw!!!
From: gnu
Date: 28 Apr 03 - 11:58 AM

LL... his bday is noted early in this thread but I don't have time right now to go back and get it for you. Seems to me it was in a post by CarolC, but I am going by memory here and my memory is gone.