August Punch the Horse

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Scooby Doo
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 11:56 AM

They looked like it!!!!!!.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 05:46 AM

Ahhhh, those were the days....

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 06:14 AM

Thought I might as well ressurrect an old friend from days gone by, then we can all reminisce about what a stalwart thread it was and recount to the young un's that you don't get threads like that any more

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 05:37 AM

Demister said "I vote for jOhn"
My guitar playing is shit, and my singing is even shitter!
also i am busy at weekends working in the curry ship.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Sep 03 - 05:21 AM

Careful how you say that sweetfire!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 09:39 AM

I can just imagine you now rodger......

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 04:16 AM

I just noticed that my last posting was the 199th so had to send this to get the 200.

R

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Sir Roger de Beverley
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 04:15 AM

Hey, my thread publicising the gig at the Sun this Sunday by Thin Ice (me and Gifford) has a title that could be read in a different light following the discussion in this thread!! It reads as follows:

"Sir Roger in PTH replacement shock"


If it is any help I could supply a photo of me from 25 years ago in which I look very much like Pete - tall, thin, dark haired(with a touch of grey. Would need to work on the guitar skills though. At least I'm still tall :-)

Rog

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 04:02 AM

I vote for jOhn!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 04:01 AM

Does that mean you've been working with an especially undesirable kind of person for the last five years, Micheal....? :o)

Infamy at last!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: ossonflags
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 03:30 AM

Thanks Norreen,yeh you are right, I would.

No sweetfire, should read "looking for a special kind of person".

We do have several people in mind, but anyone intrested in auditioning for a successful working band should PM me.
Please, no time wasters.

Please note: "Punch the Horse" is an Equal Opportunities organisation.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 Aug 03 - 03:19 AM

The list of applicants seems a little short at the mo....

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: sweetfire
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 06:07 PM

* sorry, that should read lookin, not likin.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: sweetfire
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 06:06 PM

MMMM....following that CV i wonder how many poeple will apply for auditions. Sounds like your liking for a specific type of guy...

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 12:03 PM

Which ones, Nozzer?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Noreen
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 07:54 AM

Thanks for sharing your CV with us Pete... though I'm pretty sure Mr McGarry would include certain of those points under undesirable criteria.

:0)

Hope all concerneed find what they're looking for, musically and otherwise.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 04:18 AM

Points will be awarded for the following.

1. Ability to break any given string at completely random moments during the set. Extra points will be awarded for more than one string at a time, and on a sliding scale relative to how early in the set they are snapped. Top points for the first tune. And an extra 10 bonus points for actually breaking one during one of McGarry's Accapella songs. (I did this once during "Take me up to Monto" while using the guitar as a makeshift Bodhran....)

2. Number of replacement dry tee-shirts required to complete a full gig at Durty Nellies. I think four is my personal best.

3. Number of pints of Guinness consumed during a gig without falling over or forgetting what key the Wild Rover is in.

4. Ability to smoke a cigarette whilst playing Dirty Old Town without McGarry noticing. Extra points if you can roll it during the intro.

5. Ability to look a complete twat at all times. Clog dancing in very amateur style with Nik-Nak whilst playing tunes, wearing a tea towel cunningly disguised as a pair of surfing shorts is one of my personal favourites.

6.Ability to not lose the plot completely when Oakley and Watson cunningly slip the Birdie Song and Scotland the Brave into any song or tune, at a totally inappropriate time, regardless of tempo or key.

7. Time taken to change a whole set of strings. This will be digitally timed by TagHeuer in a strictly monitored dark, smoky, crowded and noisy environment.

8. Ability to scan a crowded pub constantly while doing all of the above, in order to identify potential company for the end of the evening. This includes direct eye contact while singing "She is handsome, she is pretty, she is the Queen of Dublin City..." Never fails, people. Extra points will be awarded for hazard awareness (husbands, boyfriends, and Sue Wiley's disapproving glare), the ability to spot when she is Andy Watson's type, oh and of course, good taste.

9. Ability to get yourself out of the sh*t as quickly as possible when successful application of the above results in a compromising situation, such as realising that the gorgeous pair of eyes you've been looking into all evening across the crowded, smoky pub, are actually attached to a deeply unattractive middle aged overweight mother of five with acne and an inability to speak the Queens english without uttering an expletive at least five times in any given sentence.

10. Oh, yes, I nearly forgot. You have to be able to play the Guitar.

Think that about sums it up. Anything I've omitted, Noreen?

McGarry, I trust you'll let me know when the Autition dates are. Good luck, people. May the best man (or woman) (or hermaphrodite) win!!!!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,Sir Roger
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 03:42 AM

In accordance with EU employment legislation the criteria for selection should be published. The list should include "essential" and "desirable" criteria.

For example "looks good in black" would be essential whereas "ability to play guitar" would be desirable!

Rog

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 03:35 AM

Can I judge the competition....?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Aug 03 - 03:06 AM

When are the auditions?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 05:48 PM

No.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: sweetfire
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 03:51 PM

Is PTH carrying on without a guitarist?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 10:54 AM

Well, really.....!!!!!!!! say nice things about a chap and he comes back with that!!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 07:56 AM

You've still gotta put up with me for another 16 gigs, McGarry. And you'd better believe I intend to make the most of it! You'd better be on form.... Scissorhands has many strings and hearts to break before the end of the year..!!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: ossonflags
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 07:02 AM

This might be an opportunity to inform all our friends and loyal supporters -and to dispel any rumours - that the unbeliavably talented Mr.Dean is leaving PTH for personal reasons - none connected with the band.

Peter has been with us for five years and as far as I am concerned, those five years working with him have been the most pleasurable time in my musical carreer.In the hundreds of gigs we have done with the axeman I have never known him to give less than his all, which in his case is about five hundred percent!!!

PTH WILL ride on after the new year, sadly missing one of the finest musicians either side of the Humber.And I will have to get used to not hearing "are you up for it McGarry?"

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,guest- sir rog
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:47 AM

sorry

that last guest was me at work

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:43 AM

more like pre-minstrel

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:41 AM

Early ZZ Top, AC/DC, Thin Lizzy, BB King, Chuck Berry, John Mayall, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Blues Brothers, Albert Collins....all that good stuff. Yeah, man. Dark sunglasses, cheap baccy, and rock n roll. Pass me that joint...?

I think I'm pre-menstrual.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:36 AM

Actually, am seriously contemplating getting my hands on a Fender Stratocaster, a Peavy Bandit amp, an overdrive and chorus pedal, and goin out to play the blues with some likeminded fellows. Time will tell.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:29 AM

How about Noel Edmonds' House Party....?? I've been out of circulation for the last five years... have I got some catching up to do? Is Dirty Den still about? And did we ever find out who killed JR...? Did Rodney and Del Boy ever become millionaires?

Does that answer your question, SP..?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:18 AM

Would love that, John.

Next for Deanie? Hmmm....is Casualty still on on Saturday nights...?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: smallpiper
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 06:10 AM

Tradgedy!

Well I might bring me border monsters to that gig and help you bring in the new year (if yews want me to and if I'm still around that is).

So what next for the deanie?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 05:56 AM

Hey Specky. According to my gig list, 5th October, 9th November and New year's Eve are all at the Sun Inn.

Incidentally, the forthcoming CD will be the last with the current line-up, featuring the Mighty Ossonflags, Andy "The Box" Watson, Dave "The Professor" Oakley, Nikki "loony bird" Williamson and "scissorhands" DeanMeister.

I have last weekend informed my friends that I will be leaving the band after our last gig at the Sun Inn on New Years Eve.

Reckon that might be a raucous gig!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,specky
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 04:23 AM

hi coolest singer in town when you at the sun again?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: ossonflags
Date: 27 Aug 03 - 02:34 AM

Karen.Yes it was excellant. Loved the sess in the "Black Horse" with you and colin, smallpliers and his mates.

Me and Punch the Horses manager shall be returning from France on the 12th and will not be in Hull untill midnight!!!.

On the 13th (morningish)PTH are sorting - I dare not say rehearse - stuff out for our new CD.Awfully sorry and that but these are long standing commitments.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 12:51 PM

More than welcome Dean old boy, lets tentatively say its the 12th & see if we can rope a few more in.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 10:05 AM

12th looks good to me, KJ. Count me and the Meister gang in, if we're welcome??

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:14 AM

insert 'enjoyed' between 'Ossonflags' & 'you' & you might make some sense of it. That's what working nights does;addles your brain!!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 08:13 AM

Bugger....what you doing on the 12th? See we're thinking of having a decking-warming party!! plus its our anniversary on the 11th, so celebrations all round.Ossonflags, you & Mary's company at Whitby, glad you managed to survive with the old vocal cords intact!!

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 07:46 AM

Karen, We are at the Driffield rugby club on the 13th September.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 05:40 AM

You guys playing anywhere 13th September?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 Aug 03 - 03:05 AM

Lovely to hear that Little Hawk!!!

Torona hey!!!!!!!! was there about six years ago.In fact bought my buckskins in a little shop that serviced the cowboys in the Calgary Rodeo.Dont know the name of the street but was near a restaurant called the "Groaning Board".

Also stayed three weeks on an island on a lake near a small place called Gravenhearst, which is near Lake Muskoka.

The brown pearl necklaces Oakley refers to are in fact a speciality of the Manitoba Inuits - the Pooh tribe - who are closely related to the Ploppees.The base product been harvested in Port Churchill after the polar bears have been shooed away in the early spring.I believe that there is evidence that these necklaces started appearing in South Ferriby about three years ago.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: sweetfire
Date: 25 Aug 03 - 06:05 AM

Thanks for that Oakley....

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 02:10 PM

George,

In South Ferriby, we have Lincolshire's largest community of Inuit people. Our local dentist, who does his rounds on a skidoo, makes an absolute fortune and sells necklaces made from what he calls "brown pearls" that emit a foul stench when warm.

Just thought I'd pass that on, for what it's worth.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 10:17 AM

You don't need buckskins anymore to perform in Canada. We have become surprisingly modern since 1967. One very rarely sees moose or wolves on Yonge Street in Toronto any longer, and the Eskimos (now referred to as "Inuit"...the politically correct term) all use snowmobiles (when they're not watching TV) and get diabetes from drinking Coca Cola and eating candy bars (while they're watching TV).

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 08:48 AM

Hope you do John.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: smallpiper
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 08:19 AM

I don't think that I will make it tonight to see what promises to be a marvelous performance of PTH. But then again I may.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 07:48 AM

After last nights devestating performance in "Durty Nellies" PTH return to the "Hope and Anchor" South Ferriby tonight.T'will be an extra special night as both - yes both - the job share fiddle players will be appearing.

A well respected music critic from Hull, who prefares to be anonamouse said " this promises to be a night of unparalled musical brilliance. Punch the Horse " is one of the most accomplished, exiting, and respected live bands in the area, miss them at your peril" he went on to say that if he was doing nowt he might come.

So folks, gird up your drinking trouserings and voices and join us tonight ,kick off ( pm.

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 23 Aug 03 - 07:13 AM

No problem there Little Hawk!!! The expenses always are a small percentage of the booking fee asked anyway.Can I get my buckskins out of the pawn?

Subject: RE: August Punch the Horse
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Aug 03 - 12:04 PM

You have an open invitation to play Orillia, Ontario, Canada any time, but you have to pay for the air fare to get here.