BS: Resolutions for folk song characters

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 08:43 PM

If the man I love goes off on a white horse to see the world and doesn't ask me to come along, fuck him, I'll find someone else better.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Jack Campin
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 08:00 PM

If I'm in charge of security at the school those two brothers go to I'm installing metal detectors.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Acorn4
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 07:56 PM

I'll make an appointment with Specsavers before going out trying to shoot swans again, or even take up the melodeon instead!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: MickyMan
Date: 07 Jan 09 - 06:21 PM

I will never allow my daughters to walk together anywhere, especially if they get near a gully, a well, or a millstream.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Mr Fox
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 06:43 AM

Wring the parrot's neck before eloping with myserious pointy-eared characters.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Feb 06 - 05:22 AM

nobody is taking me by the hand and taking to meet all the big issue sellers in trafalgar square

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Amos
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 10:44 PM

I will not try to defeat the onward march of technology by out-performing machinery, out-calculating computers, out-communicating cellphones or any other way,

If I mess around with a girl such as Nelly Bly I will NOT do it in a neighborhood where I will be recognized.

If I find that the games are going on in Duncan's saloon, I'll let it ride for another time, or talk to him about it after I have had some rest.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 10:25 PM

Next time I'll listen to my mother who don't want me to roam and avoid all future skirmishes with Amerindians.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Nobody
Date: 18 Feb 06 - 09:07 PM

Well, if my name is Naomi I will stay away from John Lewis, no matter WHAT he promises me.

And if I am the youngest of two sisters, my father prefers me, and my sister is jealous, I will steer clear of water.

And I will tell the devil to tie up my wife before he takes her down to hell because that way she can't kick the demons around.

And if I am on a ship named the Golden Vanity, I will be very careful and talk to the messmates first.

And, if I am a fair maid about seventeen, who must 'list in the navy for to serve the queen...I'll get some fake warts or something to that no one will fall in love with me!

And...if my name is Janet I will tell my father that I really can't talk right now, and then escape through the window or something before he makes me take off my dress.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 09:29 AM

See your 200 and raise you 201

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 05:49 AM

Oh all right. 200

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Jan 05 - 05:47 AM

199

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 08:31 PM

Well yes, Rapaire. That too :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 12:21 PM

JennyO, I always thought that the "O" stood for "Outstanding."

Dave, I'll let you check out the rest of his anatomy.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 12:17 PM

Rapair said:

If I date an O'Reilly girl I'll count her dad's eyes first.

Really? Count his eyes? Or something else?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 11:39 AM

If I raise my true love from the dead, I will not kiss him or her unless I want to die too.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 09:38 AM

Guess what the O in my name stands for!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 09:23 AM

If I date an O'Reilly girl I'll count her dad's eyes first.

The workers' compensation insurance is killing me, so I'm not hiring any more wranglers named "Little Joe."

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:40 PM

Damn! I already said that last one.

Oh well, consider it a refrain.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Weasel Books
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:34 PM

I will let no one in, no matter HOW cold or rainy the night is.

If I am called Pat Reilly I will shut up and stop whining.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:32 PM

I will play the Wild Rover once more

(If they tip generously)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Weasel Books
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 10:29 PM

I will never play the drums for anyone named Napper or Vamp.

When my friends blow the horn to warn me, I will not pay any heed to the woman who lies in my arms tonight, but will get the hell outta there.

I will not tell Jenny where I got the money from.

I will not take the word of any dodgy types I meet on mountains high that they are not brought up in Venus's Train.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Mongrel
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 03:01 PM

On the grounds that you can get in a lot of trouble for killing and eating the ducks in York, I will always be sure to wear a nice warm hat when I go courting on the moors.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 12:27 PM

Don't be female!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 11:38 PM

And if you're a vicar, don't get into a bell ringing contest with your curate.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 11:19 PM

If my baby sends me a train ticket, I won't head into town for one last round.

I'm going to pick myself up a pair of good rubber-soled work boots (the antithesis of slippery city shoes) right away, in case I end up working on the towboats again, since I can't really promise not to hit on 17 no matter who's dealing.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 10:41 PM

And if I ever catch a queer looking worm, I'll chop the bloody thing up BEFORE it has a chance to grow big.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:42 PM

I might be cold and drunk, but I can afford a ticket on a jet plane!

If I ever see that Jacky Paper kid I'm gonna whack him one for cruelty to dragons!

The next time I dive on the Mary Ellen Carter or any other sunken ship I want a hyperbaric chamber on the dive boat.

I don't care what he promises me, I ain't a-drillin' no holes in the enemy's ship. You got cannons, so use 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: chris nightbird childs
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:29 PM

Gypsy Davey resolves to settle down once and for all..............

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Auggie
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:25 PM

I won't get above my raisin'.

I won't think twice, even if it's alright.

But I thought those footsteps went through an open meadow (as opposed to what? a meadow full of trees?)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:07 PM

I won't stick knives in babies' heads.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bert
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 07:51 PM

If I ever catch an old she crab, I won't keep her in the charlie pot.

Next time I'm in Jerusalem I'll steer clear of the harlots.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: HuwG
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 12:29 PM

If a woman working in a topless place bends down to tie my shoelaces, I might well feel uneasy. However, I will not draw attention to myself by staring at the side of her face.

Mama, don't let them elect or appoint me to anything to do with law enforcement.

What are you on, my blue-eyed son ?
What have you been smoking, my darling young one ?

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,DMcG
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 08:28 AM

Before sailing, I will pay more attetion to weather forecasts (even from people rabbiting on about old moons and new moons)

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 11:04 PM

Silver daggers are made of soft metal and bend easily. I'll use a steel one.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 10:52 PM

If I intend to murder a woman on the first date, I will not let a misplaced notion of gallantry cause me to turn my back on her.

--

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]



||: He knew what's what, and that's as high :||

||: As metaphysic wit can fly.               :||

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Cluin
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:07 PM

I resolve to have a better attitude in future with respect to how Jimmy treats his corn.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 09:49 PM

Folks, just an aside. A previous post reminded me that Cock Robin's real name was Penis Rabinowitz. (For what it's worth.)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Joybell
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 07:02 PM

When I meet a kind lady sitting behind the desk who says she is going to assess me for Altzheimers, I will know her for what she is! A being from the Otherworld! When she says, "Who is the prime minister?" I'll say, "You go plough me an acre of land with a ram's horn!! Then I'll tell you". Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: coldjam
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:51 PM

*written with a braille keyboard* I will never(again) be enticed to to go "sleepy" in any field or meadow infested with birds and butterflys no matter how many pretty little horses are promised!

If I ever get my hand on a dollar again, I'm going straight away to the casino with it, and place it on 37 black.

I am not going to lock my heart in a box of golden- too hard for the paramedics to get into.

I will never again have a lover who is a logger-they leave you out in the cold.

I will not dress in anything long, black or veilish and walk the hills,black make me look "haggard",and besides I have better things to do.

I will never get a yellow cat, an old blue dog, or hold a snake to my bosom-too messy and I'm allergic.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 06:30 PM

I don't CARE who killed Cock Robin, nor do I particularly wish to know about the funeral arrangements!

I will not stop at three sons, I will aim for at least eight so the youngest will not be burdened with a destiny!

Any young man coming down in a Creel to me will be met with a blazing fire at the bottom!

I will not go abroard for pleasure, I prefer to confine forign trips to buisness meetings only.

I will listen to my mother, especially when she gives me advice about love.

I do not like to rise when the sun she rises!

I will get an ISA to ensure that I have enough money to remain the fair flower of Northumberland no matter how many handsom young Scots I cross the border with.

Crystal and Bunnahabhain

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 03:43 PM

I will never send a lady, no matter how foxy she is, out on a chilly night while we are praying for the moon to bring her light 'cause nobody can ever tell how many miles she'd have to go before she reaches the town-O, town-O...

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 03:25 PM

I will, never again, pick a robin, or any other kind of bird, clean!!

(what Geeshie Wylie told me to tell you all)

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 Jan 05 - 12:36 PM

If the Jewish gentleman comes complaining here again, I shall have serious thoughts about having his head chopped off.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Charley Noble
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 09:49 PM

Very nice, Cluin!

CN

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 07 Jan 05 - 06:19 PM

Should we find ourselves under an unstable building in future, I will warn Joshua against playing bum-notes on his horn.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 07:35 PM

There's lots more to that Cluin. He's a complex character, he is.

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 07:32 PM

There's gotta be more to that Cluin!

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 02:36 PM

God bless them all!
I don't care
I'll stay with the lass with the raven hair
I'll fire no guns
Shed no tears
I'll laugh and shag and drink strong beer
Then take a piss off the Halifax pier

Subject: RE: BS: Resolutions for folk song characters
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Jan 05 - 02:29 PM

Old Elcid Barrett can cry in the streets all he wants to. I'll stay at home in bed with the serving wench.