Lyr Add: I Really Don't Want to Know (+parody)

Subject: Lyr Add: I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 10:35 PM

First, the original...

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW
(Don Robertson & Howard Barnes)

How many arms have held you
And hated to let you go?
How many, how many, I wonder,
But I really don't want to know.

And how many lips have kissed you
And set your soul aglow?
How many, how many, I wonder,
But I really don't want to know.

So always make me wonder,
And always make me guess.
Even if I ask you,
Darlin', don't confess.

No, you just let that remain your secret,
'Cause, darlin', I do love you so.
How many, how many, I wonder,
But I really don't want to know.

How many, how many, I wonder,
But I really don't want to know.

[Recorded by Eddy Arnold, Les Paul and Mary Ford, Elvis Presley, Hank Snow, Andy Williams, Dolly Parton, and many others.]

Subject: Lyr Add: I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW (parody)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 22 Sep 03 - 10:36 PM

And now the parody (transcribed from the sound file at The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Real Country Page 29):

I REALLY DON'T WANT TO KNOW (parody)
(Homer & Jethro)

How many guys have held you all
And kissed your lips to boot?
How many if any I wonder
But I really don't give a hoot.

I go for your caresses.
I go for your embrace.
I go for you so much, my darling,
That I call you Old Gopher Face.

When I look in your eyeballs,
You make my poor knees knock,
For you made time stand still, dear.
Your face would stop a clock.

You look like a million dollars--
All wrinkled and green, but cute.
I wonder what they found you under,
But I really don't give a hoot.

Since you had your face lifted,
Things have shifted, I suppose.
The wart that was on your knee, dear,
Is now on the end of your nose.

So let it remain your secret,
But, darling, I've got to scoot.
I wonder what I'll do without you,
But I really don't give a hoot.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Really Don't Want to Know (+parody)
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 11:30 AM

The third line of the third (last) verse of the original version (as well as the first line of the last two-line tag) should read "No wonder, no wonder I wonder"

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Really Don't Want to Know (+parody)
From: Genie
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 02:09 PM

Yep, quintessential Homer & Jethro. LOL

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Really Don't Want to Know (+parody)
From: Genie
Date: 21 Mar 10 - 02:16 PM

Right up there with this one:
Daddy Played First Base