BS: The Marminator

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 11:47 PM

Ooooooooo....GROSS! I like it. I see the USS Ronald Reagan very slowly and majestically capsizing, spilling screaming people into the bay, as the ship says huskily: "Umm....what was the question?"

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Peace
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 11:46 PM

Great ideas. We're gonna be hundredaires, If we film it in the winter (in Canada), we could be frigidaires. You are a creative crew. Who is gonna yell "ACTION"? Where's the cast?

See Rapaire's "SEX: bubbles from the water, growing larger and more frequent, Suddenly, a monstrous head breaks the surface . . . .

Is our director gonna get us X-rated or what?

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:37 PM

Wasn't the Marminator either a monster in the Labyrinth that was killed by Theseus or the Union waship that fought the Merrimac (a/k/a Virginia) at Hampton Roads?

Closeup: the quiet waters of Hampton Roads. Pull back to see happy folks at play, waterskiiing, fishing, fooling around, messing about in boats. Swing right to view the USS Ronald Reagan at anchor in the Naval Yard.

SFX: bubbles from the water, growing larger and more frequent. Suddenly, a monstrous head breaks the surface and with one more mighty bubble a fearsome mouth opens and, water and slime dripping from teeth the size of mizzenmasts, it says,

Spaw!! Braaaaaap!!

and hundreds of recreating folks scream and rush to shore.

Dripping muck and seaweed, the thing waddles to shore.

The first Vegemite has returned.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:28 PM

Well, as the baby ostrich said when Mom sat on a Valencia..."Lookit the orange Marma laid!!"


BadaBInnnnnnng!



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:28 PM

Well, of course it's been done, Liz! That's the whole idea. Does the movie industry want something original? Hell, no! They want something that's already a proven moneymaker done over again with bigger and louder special effects and more sex and violence than the last time. They want faster and faster cuts between scenes until only a 12 year old kid in a sugar frenzy can follow what's happening onscreen. They want the mindless repetition of a proven concept.

That is exactly what we intend to give them....giant rodents consuming screaming starlets, lots of explosions, and lots of blood and gore.

The MARMINATOR is Arnold Schwarzenneger in a black leather and gunmetal combat outfit, wielding a series of deadly hi-tech weapons and glaring a lot. If we can't get Schwarzenneger, we'll get "the Rock". He's good for the part, and Arnold's getting a little old for it, actually. The MARMINATOR terminates MARMITES...or he marinates termites...or something like that.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:25 PM

The there's the evil villian from old Westerns, the "Schoolmarminator" who went around putting thumbtacks in schoolmarms' chairs. A doer of dastardly deeds indeed.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Amos
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 06:46 PM

A marminator is someone who marminates, obviously. Marminators bathe others in maternal affection of the deepest most cloying sort. They drown their acquaintances in mother love much the way a chef drowns beefsteak in wine sauce before frying it. They tend to be deep-chested and roundish women between 40 and 55 with over-sized biceps and obsessive appetites for cuddling their victims.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 06:44 PM

Sorry LH - apart from a little difference in size, the giant rodents has been done.

A film called 'The Princess Bride' with Cary Elwes in it, has R.O.U.S's - Rodents Of Unusual Size in it. They are rats the size of small ponies and live in the swamp.

If 'to caramelise' something is to turn it sticky and translucent, is 'marmelising' to turn something brown and smelly?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 06:38 PM

Marmy-- Marmy, I'm comin'--
I'm so sorry that I made you wait!
Marmy-- Marmy, I'm comin'!
Oh God, I hope I'm not late!
Look at me, Marmy! Don't you know me?
I'm your little baby!
I'd walk a million miles
For one of your smiles,
My Marmy!

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: jacqui c
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 06:26 PM

Sounds like my son - can he audition for the part?

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 05:49 PM

It is, in fact, twenty feet tall, weighs 3,000 pounds and eats Toyotas for breakfast.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 05:23 PM

Now wait a minute here! What's a "marminator"? Must be something that 'ates marms, right. But what the hell's a "marm"? So I did a Google Image Search for "marm" and came up with THIS! You guys 'ate that and wanna get rid of it? Shame on you! I think it's really cute. Sorta like Boo from "Monsters Inc."

Of course, I'm assuming that it's as small as it looks in the picture and pictures can be deceiving. If it is, in fact, twenty feet tall, weighs 3,000 pounds and eats Toyotas for breakfast, please ignore my comments and destroy it at your earliest convenience.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: The Barden of England
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 05:06 PM

Marmites are tiny creatures that live on Mars - it's obvious. And when the Beagle has landed, we'll have photos of them. It'll be a nice prezzie for Chrimble.

Hi Liz by the way. How's Manitas?

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 04:38 PM

"Marmalised" is the word. As popularised by comedian Ken Dodd.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Peace
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 03:01 PM

Ranger Steve: Murder on the Marmite Express!

Vegemites, Rapaire. I can but echo LH. You are the true genius. This has potential.

We need a twist here. LH--we all depend on you for the lateral thinking. (Rapaire is bonafide nuts; you are truly twisted. We depend on you for the plot twist.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 01:58 PM

Vegemites! Like giant cockroaches, but dirtier and nastier and lots, lots bigger -- somewhere between the size of the tank of PMS on the left in this picture
and the Alaska State Ferry in the center.

Vegemites! They creep out at night, consuming sewage treatment plants, spent nuclear fuel rods, banjos, and their natural prey, Marmites!

Vegemites! They only grow larger and filthier when caught in a nuclear explosion!

Vegemites! Perhaps the end HAS come....

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: RangerSteve
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 01:55 PM

Suggested titles: Marmite Cowboy, Marmite Express, Marmite in the Garden of Good and Evil.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: GUEST,MMArio
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 01:41 PM

Kids can't watch that kinda thing

UNLESS. . .

you make it an animated feature - if it's a cartoon you can get away with anything!

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Peace
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 01:31 PM

Hey, LH, my man! I like your use of the titillated word. I'll incorporate that when I do the interviews. (Something like, "May I see your titillated please?") You are indeed a thinker! But, we will have to be careful with things like "a wobbling, a fibrillatio in the rotation of . . ." . We want this to be a PG movie, right? And we better be careful with 'perturbations', too. Kids can't watch that kinda thing. Later.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:49 PM

Actually, I think I started the ball rolling on this by mentioning that I had a strong desire to start a thread called: "Marmite - Does it really exist???" But I didn't, cos I thought it might bug Joe Offer, cos he hates copycat threads.

With such tiny beginnings are great things launched!

So....it all began with the notorious Madonna-Britney kiss, which grossed out millions and titillated millions more...BUT more important than THAT...it caused a wobbling, a fibrillation in the rotation of the Earth upon its axis!!! This, combined with the unprecedented 300 year decline in the Earth's magnetic field (which has been noted by scientists...look it up if you don't believe me or ask Wolfgang about it)...anyway, the combination of fibrillation of planetary rotation cross-referenced with collapsing magnetic field caused perturbations deep in the planetary mantle releasing...

MARMITES! Hundreds of thousands of them. A MARMITE is a very large rodent, resembling a shrew. It's about the size of a Mack Truck. MARMITES are always hungry, and they'll eat just about anything, specially if it screams and struggles while being caught!

Consider the possibilities...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Peace
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:04 PM

Guys, Liz is on board. We have another movie maker. She and Frankly are living on the Aurora with rosy harmonies on the supermarket shelf. This WILL fly.

Subject: RE: BS: The Marminator
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:01 PM

How about Marmitopia? Where everything is rosy and lovely, people live in peace and harmony and there's Marmite on every supermarket shelf whether it's gravy or jam.

Frankly, I'd rather live on the Aurora crusing round the North Sea.

LTS

Subject: BS: The Marminator--A Thread That Was Once Lost.
From: Peace
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 11:20 AM

A movie in the making. The genesis. In a galaxy far far away. This new thread is the result of the creative collaboration of many people too numerous to mention. This is how it all began. We thought we'd get in trouble for THREAD CREEP, (notice the 'we' guys) so WE started this.


Subject: RE: Jesus - Did he exist?
From: Little Hawk - PM
Date: 18 Nov 03 - 11:15 PM

Right on, brucie! I can hardly resist starting a thread called "Marmite - Does it exist???" (but I'm afraid Joe Offer would really get irritated if I did...you can imagine what it might spawn in further copycat threads...)


Subject: RE: Jesus - Did he exist?
From: brucie - PM
Date: 18 Nov 03 - 11:48 PM

Hey, LH, then we could have "Son of Marmite", "Revenge of Marmite". (There's a real industry in the making here. Ya just gotta be the first to see it.) We could go to a movie studio and make hundreds if not thousands of dollars. Cross marmite with terminator and get Marminator (or Termite). Maybe hire the Governor of California to star in the first film. I'm sharing this willingly; work with me. Here's the title of our first film: "Clone of Marminator: The Tepid End of the Gene Pool." Has a ring to it, don't ya think? Don't worry that someone might take the idea and run with it. There's more where that came from.

So, to get back to the real question, like I'm a guy, right, and if my brother and his wife have a girl child, am I an aunt or an uncle? I have the feeling no one will answer me on this one, 'cause you're probably thinking I'm joking.

Or a chain of stores: "Marmite R Us", but to distinguish the chain from the Toy people, we turn the M backwards. I'm gonna give this a little more thought. I'll get back to you.

This is NOT a Nigerian scam letter. If you want to invest in the film, we refuse to accept more than $25,000 from any single individual. If you're married, $50,000. Sorry about the thread creep. Something just took over. But if any people in the world would understand the 'creative impulse', it would be 'catters.


Subject: RE: Jesus - Did he exist?
From: Little Hawk - PM
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 12:06 AM

Brucie, you are an unsung genius! This is an idea whose time has come. "The Marminator!" I love it! How about "Attack of the Marmites"??? They could be giant rodents who emerge from the Earth's core due to the collapsing magnetic field of the planet and the Madonna-Britney kiss causing instability in the Earth's rotational axis. I visualize a tidal wave of gigantic, chittering marmites advancing on Washington, siezing people, cars, and Abrams tanks in their pincer-like jaws, without regard to race, creed or religion.

Only The Marminator can stop them! (Enter Arnold, packing firepower like you've never seen before...except maybe in the last 20 or so action films...)

It can't fail. I see big bucks here.

Now where were we?

Oh, yeah. You're an uncle, man. An uncle.

- LH


Subject: RE: Jesus - Did he exist?
From: Rapaire - PM
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 08:45 AM

"Marmite vs. Vegimite: The Armegeddon Duel".


(Armeggedon outa here...)


Subject: RE: Jesus - Did he exist?
From: brucie - PM
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 10:54 AM

I love you guys! It's like knowing you have an IQ of 186 and finding out you're the dumbest one in the room. We are talkin' BIG BUCKS here. This cannot fail. And on top of that I'm an uncle, and I don't have a brother with a kid. And because I'm an uncle, then that little girl my brother and his wife didn't have is my nephew. I GET IT NOW!

Hey guys, we'll all write it, one of you directs, the other produces and I interview the actresses who are over the age of 21--and have ID to prove it. Seems like a fair division of labour to me. How's it with you guys? And we get to wear shades, right, designer shades. And maybe dress like the Blues Brothers. What do ya think?


Subject: RE: Jesus - Did he exist?
From: brucie - PM
Date: 19 Nov 03 - 11:08 AM

Fellow Movie Makers and Would-be Multimillionaires: We are gonna get in serious trouble for thread creep here. I cannot tell a lie: Little Hawk caused it. I'm gonna start a thread under the name The Marminator, and I want to thank Jesus for making this possible, (and LH and Rapaire). I should warn you that they are certifiable, but they don't get near sharp or pointy things.