If I had the wings of an angel - parodies

Subject: Wings of an Angel Parody
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 06 Feb 01 - 10:41 AM

This is what I found in the Forum:

IF I HAD THE WINGS
Oh if I had the wings of an angel
And the balls of a big buffalo,
I would fly to the top of a mountain
And piss on you bastards below.

note: Brooklyn, ca 1940 RG
@parody
filename[ PRSNSNG2
Tune file : PRSNRSNG

---

The version my extended family used to sing was even worse:

If I had the wings of an angel,
And a prick as white as snow,
I'd climb to the top of a mountain,
And piss on the people below.

I love to see Nellie make water,
She pisses a beautiful stream;
She shoots it a mile and a quarter,
And you can't see her asshole for steam.

I would welcome contributions. My family learned this ditty from noted ornathologist and sailor Dennis Puleston of Brookhaven, Long Island, back in the 1940's.

Subject: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Fiolar
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 09:15 AM

Watching the cartoon "Another Froggy Evening" recently I was most impressed by Michigan J. Frog singing some of the following ballad:
"If I had the wings of an angel,
Over these prison walls I would fly.
I would fly to the arms of my darling,
And there I'd be willing to die."

Does anyone know if it has been recorded by anyone other than the four legged amphibian?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Midchuck
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 09:38 AM

The real title is "The Prisoner's Song."

But I prefer the words my college roommate used to sing:

If I had the wings of an angel,
And the balls of a big baboon;
I would fly to the highest treetop,
And cornhole the man in the Moon.

Peter.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 10:44 AM

Look up "prisoner's Song" in DigiTrad--there's a discussion of recordings (which are available om CD--call CAMSCO at 800/548-FOLK <3655>)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 10:51 AM

or as I recall from my schooldays,

if I had the wings of an eagle,
If I had the arse of a cow
I'd fly over England (insert your target choice here!) tomorrow
And S**t on the Ba****ds below


Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 03:57 PM

Hear Vernon Dalhart sing "The Prisoner's Song" on the Record Lady, Real Country Archives, page 9. A classic.
Prisoner's Song

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Joe_F
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 06:24 PM

Or you can just follow up the first line with "Wouldn't I look silly?"

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 04 Feb 04 - 06:34 PM

G'day Fiolar,

This verse "floats" into Botany Bay ... I need to find the 1880 original (from the Music Hall play Little Jack Shepherd ... to see if Mayhew put it there at the time ... or if it has sneaked in later).

I also collected a bawdy version in Tasmania - sung to the tune of Botany Bay - in 1966, from an Australian construction engineer ... with a British Royal Marines background ... and a post-war Bengal tiger-hunting spell! ...:

If I had the wings of an angel,
And the balls of a king kangaroo,
I f**k all the girls in creation ...
And sell the results to the Zoo!

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:31 AM

Botany Bay;, Hm...

The versions I've heard seem to have a slightly different metre (see above) and have been fitted to "My Bonnie lies over the ocean"

Nigel

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 05 Feb 04 - 07:08 AM

Another variant:
If I had the wings of a swallow,
I'd have feathers up my arse..

Seamus

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: If I had the wings of an angel
From: Fiolar
Date: 05 Feb 04 - 08:28 AM

Thanks guys -

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel & parodies
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Aug 04 - 09:07 PM

Amazing how these threads wander. I started this thread as Guest Roll & Go-C back in 2001. I'm not sure who added the copyright paragraph but probably some Joe Clone or other.

Our old family friend Dennis Puleston who used to lead his bawdy version of this song was also instrumental in training crews in WW II to successfully operate the newly produced DUKW. Now you know.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

---

I added some line breaks to your first post and deleted some of the extra stuff from the DT excerpt, and now it should look more sensible.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel & parodies
From: Amos
Date: 03 Aug 04 - 09:19 PM

Just as a comment, this theme is treated likewise in the oild lament called "Dink's Song", inter alia.


A

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,NH Dave
Date: 03 Aug 04 - 11:53 PM

Oddly enough, Charley, the young blond concertina player, who used to play at the Press Room sessions, drove the Ducks(DUKWs)in Boston for a couple of years. They weren't really stock as the engineering tools had mostly been removed, the adjustable tire pressure hub devices had been deactivated, and most had only one rear axle driven. To top this off they were all painted many different pastel colors, to match the color of the sun awnings. A great ride for a fair price, but can you imagine tooling those great barges around the narrow streets of the North End?

Dave

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Charley Noble
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 02:53 PM

NH Dave-

Further DUKW drift. While sifting through my father's files I came across a 1946 Saturday Evening Post article on the development of the DUKW and the efforts that Dennis and his small gang had to make to convince the armed forces to use it, and, when finally convinvced, to properly train the crews so they wouldn't sink the things. No doubt Dennis was amused at the subsequent civilian uses of the DUKW.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Little Robyn
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 03:43 PM

How about Frank Fyfe's favourite-
Oh had I the wings of a turtle dove,
High up on me pinions I'd fly,
Slap bang to the arms of me Polly love
And in her sweet bosom I'd die
Singing..........

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Jim McLean
Date: 04 Aug 04 - 05:56 PM

In Scotland, as a kid, we used to sing:

If I had the wings of a sparrow
And the dirty big arse of a crow.
I'd fly over ...(make up your destination)
And shit on the bastards below!

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,Hootenanny
Date: 05 Aug 04 - 04:44 PM

Here's my contribution heard in the Royal Army Medical Corps 1960 during training after a rigorous session by the drill sargeants:

If I had the wings of an angel
And the arse of a bloody great crow
I'd fly to the top of the drill shed
And shit on sargeants below

Hoot

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,Ebhiblin
Date: 27 Sep 04 - 05:32 PM

My father was a scrapper from Kilkenny, Ireland and he would sing(though I'm not sure how he'd ever seen a buffelo).

If I had the wings of an angel
And the tail of an old buffelo
I'd fly to the highest mountain
And Sh_te on you people below

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: PoppaGator
Date: 28 Sep 04 - 12:50 AM

Hey, how 'bout more info on the DUKWs? You guys have gotten me *awfully* curious!

I have a very vague memory of my father's explanation of the acronym, and description of the vessel, but I can't remember enough. Some WWII military craft, right? A landing boat of some kind -- amphibious, maybe?

What about their post-war civilian use in Boston; you allude to that, but don't describe it to those of us not in the know. What sun awnings?

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,robby290
Date: 19 Sep 13 - 07:55 PM

I had a DUKW a few years ago, sold it, let me know if you would like more info.. [e-mail]

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,Allan Conn
Date: 20 Sep 13 - 02:28 AM

"In Scotland, as a kid, we used to sing:"

Yes Jim and of course the destination was normally England! I remember being on a bus in London with lots of my mates (teenagers and early 20s) during the 1981 visit to Wembley. The whole group were singing yhe words you mention

If I had the wings of a sparrow
And I had the arse of a crow.
I'd fly over England tomorrow
And shite on the bastards below!


It was then that this big black lady conductor got up. Perhaps she could see we were noisy but basically harmless - or maybe she was just very brave as there was about a dozen or so of us! Anyway she gave us a row for using such language in front of the other passengers so instead we sung.....

"If I had the wings of a sparrow
The posterior of a crow
I'd fly over England tomorrow
And poop on the people below"

Infantile humour but she saw the joke and burst out laughing (good humoured) along with a few of the other passengers.

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Aug 16 - 12:19 PM

Refresh!

We're reviving a version of the Prisoner's Song, 1924 by Vernon Dalhart et al, for a special event. You might call this getting back to the classics.

Charlie Ipcar

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: keberoxu
Date: 19 Aug 16 - 04:15 PM

Where, oh! where is that parody called the Pioneer Song, from summer camp?

"First Verse!
If I had the wings of a
Pioneer pioneer
Straight to the woods I would
Fly      would fly
There to remain as a
Pioneer pioneer
There to remain till I
Die      DROP DEAD

"Chorus!
Oo la la, oo la la,
Oo la la RE-PEAT
Oo la la, oo la la
La       A-GAIN
Oo la la, oo la la,
Oo la la ONCE MORE
Oo la la, oo la la
La       NEXT VERSE!"

you substitute other things of your choice for the word "pioneer" ,

and when you get to the end of the final chorus:

Oo la la, oo la la
La       THE END."

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 19 Aug 16 - 06:41 PM

The basic idea of the stanza appears in many ballads and goes back at least to the 17th century.

I used it for a verse in a song I wrote recently using the 'farewell to all judges and Juries' tune.

If I had the wings of a molly
I'd fly from the pier to the pod
But the rounding-up marker for Alex
is the one that is known as Dead Bod.

You'd need to be a Humber riverman to interpret that.

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,Desi C
Date: 20 Aug 16 - 05:56 AM

That's a well known Country song, usually titled The Prisoner's Song and has various versions, possiblky Irish in origin

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Apr 17 - 01:52 AM

If I had the wings of an angel,
none of my clothes would fit,
so Ill settle for the wings of a chicken,
with some hot sauce and a cold beer.



or something to that effect- Red Green Show

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,Jeanie Maennling, Lanark Ontario Canada
Date: 18 Feb 18 - 07:37 PM

My great uncle would sing

If I had the wings of an angel
And the legs of a barney black crow
I'd fly to the Parliament Buildings
And piss on the people below.

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Steve Gardham
Date: 19 Feb 18 - 06:20 PM

If I had the wings of a sparrer
Or the dove that came out of the ark,
I'd shoot up as straight as an arrer
And fly upside-down for a lark.

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Feb 18 - 03:20 AM

When I was a kid, you'd often hear in a school playground in Southeast London:

If I had the wings of an eagle,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I'd fly over Manchester City
And s**t on the people below.

A fine sentiment.

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Creede
Date: 22 Feb 18 - 02:18 PM

I'm surprised no one has added this to the thread. It appeared in the book (pre-movie, pre-TV show) version of M*A*S*H; the "Blake" in the lyrics refers to company commander Col. Henry Blake.

Oh if I had the wings of an angel
I'd fly to the high Pyrennees
And I'd open an open-air laundry
Specializing in Blake's B.V.D.'s.

Actually considering the tone of the book I'm a bit surprised the lyrics weren't scatologically closer to the ones published heretofore.

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: GUEST,paperback
Date: 24 Feb 18 - 10:15 PM

It's wings of a colonel (eagle insigina ~ full bird colonel)
Click

Subject: RE: If I had the wings of an angel - parodies
From: Jon Bartlett
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 12:49 AM

IF I HAD A PLANE LIKE PATTULLO

1. If I had a plane like Pattullo,
    O'er these high mountain ranges I'd fly
    I'd fly to the city of Ottawa,
    Where they say all our grievances lie.

2. But now we're in British Columbia
    And this is our domiciled home,
    And we've all had our fill of those train rides,
    We no longer desire for to roam.

3. So we'll follow the birds to Victoria,
    To try to prevail upon Duff
    That it's work with a wage that we're after -
    So cut out this transient stuff!

source, “Post Office” strike pamphlet (”Sitdowner’s Gazette”), 1938
Duff Patullo was the provincial premier at the time.

Jon Bartlett