BS: A Nation Divided

Subject: BS: A Nation Divided
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 10:25 PM

From Ironic Times:

50% Believe We'll All Die in "Fiery Armageddon"
50% think other 50% is "nutty as a fruitcake."

Senate Panel to Consider Media Indecency Bill
Group of corrupt politicians hopes to cleanse nation's airwaves.

Another Branch of Human Ancestors Reported
Primitive hominids lived in what is now Ethiopia 5½ million years ago, or they never existed, depending on your high school science curriculum.

Survey: 58% of American Workers Want Better Jobs
But moving to India is just too expensive.

Pfizer Gives Up Testing Viagra on Women
"We couldn't even get to first base with them," says a spokesman.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 10:43 PM

President Orders Troops Home From Iraq, Afghanistan
Says they're needed here, to protect institution of marriage.

Census Data: Americans Taking Longer To Get to Work
Average flying time to New Delhi is eighteen hours.

Education Secretary Calls Al Qaeda a "Teachers' Union"
Later apologizes for his "poor choice of words."

New Test Can Reveal Drinking Habits Going Back Weeks or Months
But not years, doctors assure White House.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 07:06 AM

50% believe.......

there are two types of people in the world.

there are those who think there are two types of people,
and then there's everyone else.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 09:23 AM

Geeks believe there are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who know binary and those that don't.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 09:36 AM

I believe in magic.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Raptor
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 09:47 AM

I believe I need a drink!

Raptor

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 10:14 AM

Mathematicians believe there are three types of people in the world.

THose who can count, and those who cannot.

A

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 10:51 AM

50% think other 50% is "nutty as a fruitcake."

Seems a remarkably low percentage, really.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 10:56 AM

Yeah -- probably more like "80% think the other 80% are nutty as fruitcakes".

Go figger.

A

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: GUEST,Guest brucie
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 01:40 PM

This thread is 35% philosophical, 40 % mathematical and 35% bologna. Good though.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Wesley S
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 01:43 PM

50% of the people think that 72% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: pdq
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 02:27 PM

"Fifty percent of the game is ninety percent mental."
-- Yogi Berra

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: maire-aine
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 02:33 PM

Oh, Rapaire, I just got it.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 03:01 PM

Well, 94% of people who use statistics in an argument make them up as they go along.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 04:14 PM

And about 37.894% of the time, the made up statistics are pretty close, give or take 14%.

Don Firth (only half here)

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: pdq
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 06:46 PM

...a sad fact about scientific research...

"shaky data can be made to look better if all numbers are carried out to three significant figures"

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: GUEST,MarkS
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 07:03 PM

Oh the injustice.

50% of all earners make below the median income.

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 07:12 PM

"Lake Wobegon...where all the children are above average"

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Peace
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 07:36 PM

We had a Minister of Education in Alberta who said, "Yes, we expect all of our children to be above average."

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 02:31 AM

Where's Mr. Spock when he's needed??

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: freda underhill
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 06:37 AM

A musician drove his statistician friend to a symphony concert one evening in his brand new mid-sized Chevy. When they arrived at the hall, all the parking spots were taken except one in a remote, dark corner of the lot. The musician quickly maneuvered his mid-sized Chevy into the space and they jumped out and walked toward the hall. They had only taken about ten steps when the musician suddenly realized he had lost his car key. The statistician was unconcerned because he knew the key had to be within one standard deviation of the car. They both retraced their steps and began searching the shadowed ground close to the driver's door. After groping on his hands and knees for about a minute, the musician bounced to his feet and bolted several hundred yards toward a large street light near the back of the concert hall. He quickly got down on all fours and resumed his search in the brightly lit area. The statistician remained by the car dumbfounded knowing that the musician had absolutely zero probablity of finding the key under the street light.
Finally, after fifteen minutes,the statistician's keen sense of logic got the best of him. He walked across the lot to the musician and asked, "Why in the world are you looking for your key under the street light? You lost it back in the far corner of the lot by your car!"

The musician in his rumpled and stained suit slowly got to his feet and muttered angrily, "I KNOW, BUT THE LIGHT IS MUCH BETTER OVER HERE!!"

*Thanks to the late Professor Robert Rumery for telling me a variation of this story. If you are a musician, the lesson of this tale is: IF YOU GO MORE THAN THREE STANDARD DEVIATIONS FROM MIDDLE C YOU WILL NEVER FIND THE RIGHT KEY!

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 07:16 AM

Live long and prosper.
eric

Subject: RE: BS: A Nation Divided
From: Bohdran Killer
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 07:20 AM

And always remember the longer you live,
The sooner you'll bloodywell die.