BS: Positive Things About You

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Joe_F
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 10:59 PM

Scoville: Yeah, *real* compliments are communicated to someone else. Hence the tradition of tradelasts (does anybody do them any more?).

About 1968 I was visiting some friends in Kingston, NY, and went out to buy the Sunday paper. I was walking down a street of houses that were about to be torn down for urban renewal, and on the front steps of one of them were sitting two small boys & a dog. The dog ran out & started yapping at me, and one of the boys yelled at the dog & got up to fetch him in, but the other one said "It's O.K., he's not scared". I am in the vile habit of discounting compliments, but I couldn't do anything to that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: freda underhill
Date: 24 Mar 04 - 05:08 PM

my children love me and crack jokes with me !

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: andi
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 11:01 PM

I never pass up the opportunity to tell someone thanks for making my life better

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 10:44 PM

Fir those wot believes in God, I alwuys liked the bumpur stikur:

God Don't Make No Junk

Bobert's less educated brother,

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Amos
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 10:28 PM

Bobert:

SOMETIMES, DEAREST PAL, YOU GET DOWNRIGHT SAPPY, YA KNOW THAT?

Love,

A

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 09:30 PM

Well, there was a time when there weren't oo many good things I'd say are admirable qualities inm me 'cept I was a purdy good baseball player in my teens. I was a lot of trouble to my parents and got throwed out o' high school but my parents sent me off to military school an' I got thru them troubled times.

I went to college in Richmond. I t during Vietnam and lots of bad stuff an' God reached down to, grabbed me by my collar, pulled me up to His face and said, "I love you. Now get to work."

Been working ever since 'cause the only thing I can say positive about me is that He knocked me up side my head. Anything else, He get the credit...

And that is the way I see it... I coulda turned out real bad for me... Like I say, I'm blessed and He gets the credit fir any good I do....

Sniff.........

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: kendall
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 08:17 PM

I'm a good friend and a democrat

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Scoville
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 07:42 PM

I'm loyal (but not stupid), and I think holding grudges and hating people is a waste of energy.

I had a roommate my junior year of college who turned out to be quite an unstable person. She transferred in during my sophomore year and lived across the hall from me (this is how we met). I was feeling a little exasperated with her one day when I overheard her alone in the hall, talking to her brother on her cell phone and saying, "Yeah, I've got a roommate for next year. It's this girl who lives across the hall and she's really cool. She has long hair and wears her dad's clothes and when I first came here I thought she was just one of those weird hippie kids but she's turned out to be a really good friend. She's very sensible, she never tells secrets, and she doesn't bail out on me when I get emotional about things. I need that kind of support right now." I am, above almost all else, not a people-person; it never occurred to me that somebody else might need me for any reason.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: GUEST,Van
Date: 23 Mar 04 - 03:44 PM

Good stuff Jeanie. I was talking to a counsellor who spoke about the continual conversation that goes on in our heads. She said that we should listen to some of the things we are saying to ourselves and consider whether we would say it out loud to someone else about them. she thought that we rarely would. We should look at each day and see where we had done good and reflect on that rather than negative thoughts. I think your "I am good" reduces this process to a fast track to a positive view of yourself. Essentially it is what we all try to be but often lose sight of what good we do in the welter of self criticism and other problems we encounter.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Bassic
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:24 PM

I still want to learn

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: mike the knife
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 07:30 PM

I once received one of the highest compliments a friend can give:
"To Mike,
Compadre,
brother,
a snappy dresser,
and a good shot"

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 06:46 PM

I know what I consider good about me, the difficulty is, are they the same things that other people consider good about me? Two people who have shared a great many things in my life would give completely opposite answers on one of my things, but who would be right? The answers would come from their perspective, and not knowing the truth or the intent behind the action.

Being positive about yourself should be like wetting yourself in a dark suit. No-one else notices, but you get a lovely warm feeling.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: akenaton
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 06:29 PM

I feel uncomfortable writing this, as its very personal to me.
I have found, as I get older,I have almost completely lost the ability to feel anger.
As a young man I had lots of anger within me,now I have none ,even to those misguided souls,the followers of organised religion.
The arrogance of these people used to send me into a fury,made worse by the images of death and destruction in the current ,Moslem ,Christian, Jewish conflict.
Thankfully I now see it all as an effect of the curse of humanity ,the human brain.
If there is a God he must have a great sense of humour...Ake

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jeanie
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 04:56 PM

Back again...
I wanted to add something about that statement "I am good", and how special it has come to be for me. A few years ago I spent what turned out to be a momentous few days at a self-discovery training event, certainly not for the faint-hearted ! Through various exercises, I faced aspects of myself I would really have rather brushed under the carpet, but that was all part of the process and very valuable. The culmination of this was for each of us to pare everything down to what was called our 'contract', the individual, unique, essence of our selves, "the person we were created to be", as Jerry phrased it, which gets so easily hidden away or denied.

Everyone on that course found something different in themselves, and I think we were all surprised at what we found, although, curiously, I was never surprised at the positives other people found about themselves: as an observer, I had seen it in them from the first session, it was they who had been keeping it hidden from themselves. I don't know which was more joyful: discovering my own positive, or seeing the joy of others discovering theirs.

The essence I found in myself was "I am good". It is simple to find your essential positive if you listen to the negative things you tell yourself about yourself, pare it down to one common denominator, and reverse it. The positive has been there all the time, because it is the real you; that is what is inbuilt. Outside influences and our reaction to them can very easily start to convert the positive essence into its opposite, until, as I said previously, it can become a kind of negative self-fulfilling prophecy which directs the course of our lives in a vicious circle. I think these negatives can start very early on in life. I discovered that the bare bones of the negative message I was giving myself in life was "I am bad" and I traced it right back to its origin: I spent a long time ill and in hospital as a very young child, and in my two- or three year old mind I tried to make sense of what was happening to me by telling myself I was a very bad girl and it was all my fault. This is a child's "logic", which can be seen for what it is through an adult's eyes, but somehow, somewhere deep, that child's "logic" takes root and was still there long after it had been covered over by an adult understanding of the event.

This was my personal experience, and it isn't going to apply specifically to anyone else, but I hope that by telling it, it may prompt anyone that wants to to take the step of paring down their own negative messages to the essential one, tracing its origin and finding the reverse. I did this process in an intenstive "hot house" atmosphere (and I didn't know how hot the house was going to be when I embarked on it, believe me !) - but it doesn't have to be done that way. It can be as slow a process as you want to make it.

What makes living the negative lie about ourselves so painful is that somewhere, a part of us always knows or at least half knows our essential positive, our 'life contract'. It is so near and yet so far. Daring to uncover and acknowledge our underlying positive, over and over, is nothing but joy. We are then truly ourselves.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Peace
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 03:57 PM

It makes me happy to see people find good in themselves. Thanks to y'all.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: GUEST,whistles
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 03:33 PM

i did what had to be done, and i did it in a way that would work.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jeanie
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 03:28 PM

Ooops...pressed the button too soon...
I *will* be back, though ( is that a promise or a threat, I wonder ?)
- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jeanie
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 03:24 PM

I agree Jerry, that is such good advice that you gave to your son. The wonderful thing is that, no matter how much we may have limited ourselves in the past, no matter how deeply entrenched that negative view of ourselves may be, every moment brings an opportunity to reverse it: to open the door, to take the step, to set the circle in motion in the opposite direction - for ourselves and by helping others to really see their true selves, rather than their self-restricted view. I always loved the mission statement of the school I used to teach at, where my daughter is now a pupil: "The aim of all our teaching is to take the pupils where they did not know they could go."

I agree with you, too, that this has to be viewed as an ongoing lifelong process, moment by moment by moment.

I said I would come back to that statement "I am good",

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 01:10 PM

I can sing, I can dance, I can fiddle. Just yesterday I was told that my laugh is a friendly sound.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Sorcha
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 01:02 PM

I try hard to always be fair and to help anyone I can.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Midchuck
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 10:36 AM

People are surprised to find out that I'm a lawyer. I guess I don't come on as conniving enough or pompous enough. Although I work hard at being pompous.

I can't say I'm proud of all of the things that I've done,
But I can say I've never intentionally hurt any one.

- Waylon Jennings, I've Always Been Crazy

Peter.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Peace
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 10:32 AM

I had started thia thread before I learned that Rick had died. Hope I didn't offend anyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 10:05 AM

I've instructed my Beautiful Wife to put the followin inscription on my gravestone:

A gentleman and a scholar....and a lover

She agrees, I'm happy to say, that it's accurate.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 09:30 AM

What a wonderful posting, Jeanie. It made me think of some advice I gave to my youngest son Aaron, when he was going out on his own. I think it's good advice, because I need it too. I told him not to let anyone define who he is, and not to define himself in a way that limits who he has the innate potential to become. So many people spend their lives closing doors by saying, "That's not who I am." Hopefully, we are all in the process of becoming, and "Who I am" is always transitory if we remain open to change. I know that in my own life, some of my greatest blessings... my wife Ruth and my gospel quartet have come because I plunged ahead on faith, rather than telling myself that I was going to make a fool out of myself. In the long run, we keep ourselves from becoming the person we were created to be, more than anyone else.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 08:07 AM

As long as kat brought it up...

I'd feel really silly posting to the "Rick Fielding's passing" thread. I only knew him through this forum and it'd seem pretentious for me to post as a friend in that thread full of real friends.

But I've thought quite a bit about the nature of Rick Fielding's presence here. Two things strike me about Rick's posting here -- 1. not for want of posting in controversial threads, or having strong opinions, Rick made no "enemies" here. I can hardly think of another who's been here as long who can claim that. 2. For a famous guy (musically) he NEVER made anyone feel less than a full-fledged musician here. He seem always to assume the best of us here. I loved getting PMs from him just to confirm some musical tidbit that I'd shared.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jeanie
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 06:49 AM

Jacqui - from my experience, "I am good" is what is inbuilt, and outside influences and our reaction to them, often from a very early age, change that to "I am bad" (and deserve nothing good). It can become a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy to dictate the course of a person's life, unless they switch the internal switch to reverse the process. I've got to go now, but I wrote something about that a while ago and will add more about it later.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 06:26 AM

Jeannie - you're so right.

We're scared that if we say 'I'm good' someone or something is going to pull us down and show that we are wrong. Is this inbuilt or just hammered into us by outside influences?

Bugger therapy - just spend some time on Mudcat and get your head straight!

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Ben Dover
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 06:18 AM

"nobody is perfect, I myself am particularly susceptible to draughts" - Oscar Wilde.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Leadfingers
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 06:12 AM

I used to have this silly idea that I was perfect , then I realised
that I had ONE serious fault . And when I get to do something about
this ridiculous modesty , I Will be perfect!

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jeanie
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 05:40 AM

Here is a something written by Marianne Williamson, which may encourage everyone to take the plunge into contributing to this thread:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us. We ask ourselves: Who am I to be brilliant, courageous, talented and fabulous ? Actually, who are you *not* to be ? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not help the world. There is nothing enlightening about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. When we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

So... here goes... I am an encourager. I seek out the good in myself and see it in other people and tell them about it ! This is a wonderful idea for a thread, Bruce. I'll be back to read some more.

With Love,
- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 05:06 AM

I think I'm a good friend.

Also, when I was writing and performing for children in Hawaii, their positive feedback meant more to me than just about anything else. Touching the life of a child in a way that opens their minds is a most amazing experience, and I think I did it well.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Ben Dover
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 04:57 AM

My hobby.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: s&r
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 04:47 AM

my relationships with my friends

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 04:39 AM

This is a difficult one to think about. Most of us have been raised with the notion that you don't praise yourself in ANY way.

One of the things I like about myself is that I can see the positive side to a situation. I'm also a good friend.

That was SO difficult to do but thanks Brucie, for the opportunity. Just goes to show - even Shatner fans have something going for them.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Rasener
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 04:33 AM

Starting a new folk club in Market Rasen

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 04:10 AM

Where do you want me to start?

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: katlaughing
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 12:43 AM

I think there may be more to this thread, later on. For a lot of us, right now, we're thinking about Rick Fielding and what we'd like to express about his oh-so-many positives.

Good idea, though, brucie,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 12:38 AM

I was given a lovely compliment at work recently....one of the front office ladies said to me "Jennifer, a lot of people here smile - but you smile as though you mean it".
Cheers
JennieG.....still smiling!

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 04 - 12:36 AM

Possibly my only real virtue s my self--esteem! :>)


A

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 11:18 PM

And Bishop Fulton Sheen was the one who said "Humility is not thinking less of yourself. It's thinking of yourself less."

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 11:17 PM

I don't think anyone is going to bite on this one brucie... How about Positive things about the person standing next to you? I understand your thread, though. If we are to love others as ourselves, that means we have to start in our own heart. I find that people who are really angry and unloving usually can't stand themselves. So, if no one else is going to fess up to loving themselves, you and I know that they do. :-) And loving yourself doesn't mean that you don't see your own weaknesses and the countless times that you've fallen flat on your face, been selfish and mean-spirited. It just means that you've forgiven yourself as you forgive others... another one a them challenges... you can't forgive others very well if you're not willing to forgive yourself.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 10:34 PM

Most of the time I'm a moron. But, there are those occasional shining moments when I am able to transcend my moronic tendencies and become a blathering idiot for a while.

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 10:08 PM

I counted Rick Fielding as a friend, even though unmet in 3D.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 09:22 PM

Dang, brucie, this is a tough one! But, I can't let your thread lie here a musterin'. I guess a good thing about myself is that I usually listen. Not that I don't like talking, but so often just listening to someone unload their problems (or do they download them, now?) makes all the difference in the world. People are always worrying about saying the right thing when someone is struggling through a hard time in their life. As often as not, it's not saying anything, other than "I care about you," and then letting the other person talk.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 09:13 PM

I am a paragon of modesty....far too modest to list all my many virtues and positive attributes...but, since you ask, I have managed to go thru life so far with no known real enemies.

...and I can wiggle my eyeballs back & forth real fast.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: mack/misophist
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 08:30 PM

I try to be honest, mostly.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 06:28 PM

I've never shot anybody who didn't deserve it.

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Allan C.
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 06:16 PM

One of the things I like best about myself was put into words a few years ago by the Mudcat's own WyoWoman: "Allan is a true gent."

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:40 PM

I play the accordion

;-)

( ...it's one of the things I like best about me)

Subject: RE: BS: Positive Things About You
From: Peace
Date: 21 Mar 04 - 05:39 PM

I guessed it was you because you didn't include yourself, and you are a poster par excellence IMHO.