Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel

Subject: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 04:59 PM

Having lived near the Maine Yankee nuclear plant for years I'm always interested in news relating to mishaps in handling the deadly nuclear fuel. Now we have this lovely story from our neighboring state of Vermont:

    (04-21) 17:50 PDT MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) --

    Two pieces of a highly radioactive fuel rod are missing from a Vermont nuclear plant, and engineers planned to search onsite for the nuclear material, officials said Wednesday.

    The fuel rod was removed in 1979 from the Vermont Yankee reactor, which is currently shut down for refueling and maintenance. Remote-control cameras will be used to search a spent fuel pool on the property, officials said.

    "We do not think there is a threat to the public at this point. The great probability is this material is still somewhere in the pool," said Nuclear Regulatory Commission spokesman Neil Sheehan.

    But Sheehan said it was possible the spent fuel was mixed in with a shipment of low-level nuclear waste and ended up at a repository in South Carolina, or a facility in Washington state. He said it was also possible it was taken to a nuclear testing facility run by General Electric, which designed the plant.

    The material would be fatal to anyone who came in contact with it without being properly shielded, Sheehan said. Spent nuclear fuel also could be used by terrorists to construct so-called dirty bombs that would spread deadly radiation with conventional explosives.

    The NRC is helping plant officials in the search. The rod was part of the fuel assembly used to power the reactor. One of the missing pieces is about the size of a pencil. The other piece is about the thickness of a pencil and 17 inches long.

    "It would be very difficult to remove this material from the site without somebody knowing about it," Sheehan said. "It would set off radiation monitors."

    Sheehan cited the heightened awareness of the need to control nuclear material that followed the Sept. 11 terror attacks. "We don't want this falling into the wrong hands," he said. "This is something we would never take lightly."

    Gov. James Douglas, after speaking Wednesday afternoon with the head of the NRC, said he was "very concerned" about the missing fuel at the plant, run by Entergy Nuclear.

    "This situation is intolerable," he said in a statement.

    In 2002 a Connecticut nuclear plant was fined $288,000 after a similar loss. That fuel was never accounted for.

    Vermont Yankee is located in the southeastern town of Vernon, on the border with Massachusetts and New Hampshire.

    The state's Public Safety Department and Homeland Security Unit also were notified of the missing fuel.

    ©2004 Associated Press

The first song to parody that came to my mind is:

There's a hole in the spent fuel pool, dear Liza, dear Liza,
There's a hole in the spent fuel pool, dear Liza, a hole!

With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, dear Liza,
With what shall I fix it, dear Liza, with what?

Cover it up with PR, dear Henry, dear Henry,
Cover it up with PR, dear Henry, with PR!

Etc.

We'll send a copy of the finished song to the Nuclear regulatory Cpmmission and to the New England Coalition on Nuclear Pollution.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Gareth
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:07 PM

Errrr ? Din't Homer Simpson have something o do with this ????

Gareth

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Charley Noble
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:17 PM

Not to worry, Gareth. We been assured that the missing pieces of spent fuel rods are still in the pool, or somewhere safe. Of couse they need to be safely shielded from living things for hundreds of thousands of years but no one who's responsible is worried.

Charley Noble, who's feeling better already

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: open mike
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 05:23 PM

the facility in washington would be Hanford.
want a nuke dump in your back yard??!!
there will be jobs! that would mean:
Fast food, Fast Housing, Fast highways...
and S-L-O-W half life....do the math...
does it all add up? who was the bean
counter who was counting the rods?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 09:49 PM

ROLLING DOWN TO CYA

It's a damned tough life, full of toil and strife
We PR men must undergo,
And we don't give a damn where the rods have gone
Where they went or how they go.
They're down in the pond! Or in Puget Sound
Or at Hanford, lying free,
And we won't give a damn when we drink our rum
As long as we can CYA.

cho.
Rolling down to CYA, my boys,
Rolling down to CYA.
We're PR bound from the glowing ground
Rolling home to CYA.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: GUEST,Billy
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:10 PM

There was a scare at the Dounreay Nuclear facility in Scotland some time ago when contaminated metal pipes and other material went missing. The McCalmans sing this version of the event.

Ah'm The Man That Muffed It (Nancy Nicolson)

CHORUS
Ah'm the man that muffed it, ah'm the man that boobed
Ah'm the man that lost the radioactive tubes
So ah'll ask ma process workers to tell me whaur it's gane
For if it took a dander surely it was seen

Wullie the crofter could it be you
No it wisnae one ah took ... ah took two
One has pinned ma gate shut, the other's in the park
Its grand fine glow takes me safely through the dark
(Chorus)
Angie the fisherman tell the truth tae me
No it wisnae one ah took ... ah took three
One is on my nets, it makes a damn fine float
The other two's a microwave oven in ma boat
(Chorus)
Wha's that sneakin' out an' through the door
It's Hector the whisky maker ... ah took four
Ah run ma barley bree through a tubie tae distil
Ah sell the malt tae ye boys, that's how ye get yer fill
(Chorus)
In nuclear Caithness atoms are good news
They brought the jobs an' money we'd be stupid tae refuse
So now we've nuclear fish, fine atomic coos
Plutonium-coated people an' radioactive booze

Last chorus:
Ah'm the man that muffed it ah'm the chiel that boobed
Ah wonder will they find the radioactive tube
But there's no' goin' tae be a search or any big to-do
For the storeman says he lost all the Geiger-counters too

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Susan A-R
Date: 23 Apr 04 - 11:22 PM

All I could think of was "is that a pencil in your pocket or . . . "

I do find it interesting that no one can account for them since 1979. Hmmm, what was going on then?

Even our wildly pro business governor is a little miffed with a busines. It has damaged his trust.

I'd love the tune to the Scotish rendition. Is it to a standard melody?

Susan A-R.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 07:54 AM

Rapaire-

I'll bite. What's your reference to "CYA"?

"YA" is probably Yankee Atomic but what is the "C" from?

Billy-

I do like your song, laced as it is with local references and ironic humor.

Susan-

It's true, in 1979 everyone was glued to the tube or calling their friends and relatives in Pennsylvania encouraging them to evacuate.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 11:55 AM

CYA is "Cover Your Ass".   Thought everybody knew that.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: MMario
Date: 24 Apr 04 - 01:31 PM

Glow little fuel rod, glimmer, glimmer
With a radio-active kind of shimmer
Sink into the water glowing
On our inventory not showing

Subject: RE: Song Challenge:Missing Nuclear Fuel
From: Charley Noble
Date: 25 Apr 04 - 10:21 AM

Thanks for the clarification, Uncle Dave.

Seems like the Milestone nuclear plant in Connecticut had a similar fuel rod missing problem in 2000, and they never found it either. Maybe the equivalent of the infamous sock troll was involved.

Here's a riddle for you. What is the half-life of a nuclear plant PR person in this situation?

Charley Noble