BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'

Subject: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 08:57 AM

Can I suggest the first use may be for enhancing your computer.... administer viagra into its system and turn your floppy disc into an extra hard drive.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: mooman
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 09:04 AM

Along similar lines, perhaps Max could use it to help keep the 'Cat "up"...

Peace

moo

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 09:15 AM

My bodhran skin goes floppy when it's too humid, is there a cream version.......

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: GUEST,selfish steam
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 09:19 AM

I have low self esteem - could Viagra get it back up again?

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Peace
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 09:52 AM

I guess you know that we use it in old folks' homes in Alberta. Stops the fellows from rolling out of bed at night.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 10:04 AM

dissolve a tablet in the water you use on tomatoes....won't need to stake them.

(Can be problems, too...a guy left one in a shirt pocket, and when the shirt came back from the laundry, it was too stiff to wear.)

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: harpgirl
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 10:06 AM

It makes lawyers taller...

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 10:14 AM

Ummmm...hmmm...

Well, I was under the impression that there is NO good use for Viagra. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 10:40 AM

Really, LH?? And those yearning damsels lining up at your door?

A

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: C-flat
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 10:49 AM

I only take it to keep myself from pee-ing on my shoes.
C-flat.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:39 AM

I asked a guy in the Pharmacists, a few days ago, how good viagra is. He told me that he takes one every day before going home from work...By the time he gets home he is ready for his wife..then dinner...then wife..then TV then wife then sleep..and the experience is better than he has ever known.
I asked him "Can I get it over the counter"?
He said "You can if you take two"

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Blackcatter
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 11:47 AM

C-flat - it just might make you C-sharp.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 12:37 PM

You can put it on violin bows instead of resin for hard pieces

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: C-flat
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 12:46 PM

"C-flat - it just might make you C-sharp."
I think I'd rather B-natural!

C-flat.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Don Firth
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 12:54 PM

There was a report the other day that a drug store was burglarized during the night, but all the thief took was the store's supply of Viagra. The report went on to say that the police are looking for a hardened criminal.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 02:27 PM

Did you know that a man can use Viagra as a form of birth control? He puts it in his shoe and it makes him limp.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 02:40 PM

Stick it in the ground around Stonehenge for standing stones....

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 03:59 PM

In the 1960's we used to cal them 'uppers'. Or was that something else...

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 04:26 PM

It's what we Brits need these days to maintain the 'stiff upper lip'.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: brid widder
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 05:50 PM

take it with plenty of water or it'll give you a stiff neck

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 07:26 PM

There must be a place for it in famine relief. It seems to accelerate the reproduction of spam to a remarkable degree.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Jun 04 - 09:52 PM

Actually, Amos, I used to have one of those VISA stickers on the bedroom window, but I took it down cos people were starting to talk... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:22 AM

There was a report the other day that a drug store was burglarized during the night, but all the thief took was the store's supply of Viagra. The report went on to say that the police are looking for a hardened criminal.

..and when they catch him and he goes to court, will he face a stiff sentence?

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:30 AM

Jenny, not if he was otherwise an upright citizen.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:45 AM

They were going to erect a monument in his honor, but decided it was redundant.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 11:50 AM

They weren't standing for it then

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:15 PM

I put some Viagra in a sausage and got a hot dog stand.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 01:59 PM

I doubt that the stuff even works. People will buy anything if they're told it'll improve their sex life, and if they believe it will...then it does! Power of suggestion.

That reminds me, I've got some dried newt powder that I'm selling that'll give you a hardon that'll last and last and last, plus 15 minute orgasms. Only $750 an ounce. Get it while it lasts! :-) Newts may soon become an endangered species, and the stuff will become priceless, so DON'T DELAY!!! ORDER NOW AND TRANSFORM YOUR LOVE LIFE!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 02:04 PM

Please send me a kilogram.

My name and address is:

G. W. Bush
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC

There's a bunch of numbers after the DC, but I don't remember them.

Please be sure to mark it really good that it's a love potion so I don't get confused about it.

Thanks.

PS Send the bill to me at the above address, too.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:36 PM

It's in the mail! Who exactly are you preparing for, G.W.? Or shouldn't I ask?

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Don Firth
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 04:42 PM

The whole world, if he's given the opportunity . . .

Don Firth (standing firm)

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 05:44 PM

Yeah, he's already fucked Texas, the USA, Afghanistan and Iraq. :-) I can see that he might be getting a little tired out at this point.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 06:04 PM

I myself put it in bread dough to help it rise.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 08:48 PM

I had a wobbly table. One of them pills just fited perfectly under the short leg! Solid as a rock now...
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Blackcatter
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 09:43 PM

How in the hell is dried newt powder supposed to work? Newts are soft and squishy. Now as a fake boob de-hardener . . .

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jun 04 - 09:48 PM

It's actually powdered Newt Gingerich.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 04:00 AM

I know someone who ordered Niagara he's ruined three mattresses

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Sweetfia
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 04:54 AM

I sex all men think about..?

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 05:19 AM

Not all we think about but certainly worth the thoughts!

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: kendall
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 06:25 AM

You can save the price of a compass by taking a viagra and an iron supplement.
Downside is, you will point north for at least 4 hours.

I hear there is a new drink; a combo of vodka and viagra. Gives a whole new meaning to "pour a stiff one"

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 06:44 AM

harriWattsband may need some tonight they are performing at the Beverley Folk Festival 8.30'ish Oddfellows Arms

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jun 04 - 12:23 PM

Sweetfia: Happy birthday to you.

Your question was: "Is sex all men think about?"

No, it is not. Most men have thought about other things at one time or another. For example, on January 18, 1967 at about 3:21 PM, I thought about swordfish. Then again on July 12, 1988 at 1:32 AM I recall thinking about Ogden Nash and TS Eliot for about ten minutes. It's is unfortunately true that most men do think about sex on a consistent basis. However, not ALL men do. I am one of the exceptions to the rule. Some men are just plain shallow, but not ALL men.

Bruce M

PS I hope your special day is great for you.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: kendall
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 07:48 AM

The only difference between men and women is, men talk about it.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: GUEST,Puzzled
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 09:47 AM

Is their a female version of Viagra and what does it do ?

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 10:47 AM

Yes, there is. It's called "romance". It involves not a substance, but a certain style of male behaviour. Read some romance novels and you will get the general picture soon enough. :-) Men who consider the seduction of women to be vastly more important than anything else in life...and I have known a few men like that...can get quite good at this style of behaviour with practice. You have to REALLY want to, though, and you have to be willing to give it 100% effort without letup. Most men are too lazy or unfocused or cheap to manage that, except in brief spurts (no pun intended) when they're really inspired.

The Casanova type is always inspired by the presence of females. Always. And the females appreciate that, although they may get quite annoyed with his tendency to move on to the next flower so rapidly...

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 10:59 AM

Female Viagra?

Respect and consideration. Oh, and a sense of humour.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 01:57 PM

A search reveals a couple of options: Viagra for women and something called Zestra.

Testosterone taken in low levels, particularly after hysterectomy, helps restore interest. It's not just a male hormone.

It's not enough to simply hear a guy say "I'm horny for you." Duh.

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 04:35 PM

Well, that goes without saying, Jacqui...but thanks for saying it anyway. :-)

The thing the casanova type has in his favour is this: he genuinely adores women. He's intoxicated with them. Willie Nelson is one of those guys. That always helps, because women, like anyone, like to be appreciated. I've known a mere 3 or 4 men like that, and their success with the female gender was astounding. They are often pretty promiscous, but sometimes not. If you're lucky, you might find a casanova type who is not at all promiscous, but happy and loyal with one partner. One can always hope....

Back to substances: Wine seems to work rather well on encouraging certain women. If so, though, it's a worrisome symptom in my opinion, because it indicates a strong tendency toward using alcohol to solve life's little problems...and we all know where that eventually leads. If a girl needs alcohol to move her toward romance she's got a serious problem.

How about chocolate? Any comments, ladies? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Peace
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 04:51 PM

Candy is dandy but . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: How many uses for 'Viagra'
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 04 - 04:55 PM

Goats never use viagra. Despite this, the average male goat is always ready for more. In fact "ready" isn't really a strong enough word for it...

Female goats are a different story. They only do it when they're good and ready, and that is for only a day or two every month. This is why every billy goat fantasizes controlling a herd of at least 500 nanny goats. It's a hectic life for the few billies who succeed in attaining that lofty objective.