BS: Letterman's Iraqi Handover Timeline

Subject: BS: Letterman's Iraqi Handover Timeline
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 03:06 PM

IRAQI HANDOVER TIMELINE

Iraq now belongs to Iraq, two days earlier than promised. If the United States were your local cable company, the handover would have occurred on June 30, sometime between 9:00 AM and 5:00 PM. And then when they showed to hand it over, you would be in the shower.

9:00 AM - President Bush congratulates "Iraqi President what's-his-name and Prime Minister Blah-blah-blah."
9:30 AM - Paul Bremer explains the reason the transfer took place two days early - "I have Yankee tickets."
10:00 AM - Iraqi officials inspect damage, refuse to return United States' security deposit.
10:30 AM - New tourist slogan announced: "Iraq - why the hell would you want to come here?"
11:00 AM - Inspired by President Bush, interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi leaves for a month-long vacation.
11:30 AM - In its first official act, interim Iraqi government sends congratulatory note to newly engaged Britney Spears
Noon - Dedication of the Sean Penn Turnpike
12:15 PM - Every member of the government automatically goes on Halliburton payroll.
12:30 PM - President Bush asks President Ghazi Al-Yawer to change his name to something easier to pronounce like "Jeb."
2:00 PM - Interim Prime Minister Ayad Allawi makes a pass at his first intern.
3:00 PM - Bush goes to see "Fahrenheit 9/11." Enjoys a good laugh at what a dolt he is.
4:00 PM - Donald Rumsfeld provides United States ground commanders with plans to invade and conquer the new Iraq.
6:00 PM - President Bush begins process of handing over control of the United States to John Kerry.

Subject: RE: BS: Letterman's Iraqi Handover Timeline
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 03:37 PM

LOL (but the 6:00 PM statement is a good prediction).