BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?

Subject: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,Richard H
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 01:54 AM

After a lifetime of playing sundry instruments - guitar, mandolin, sax, banjo, pennywhistle etc. - I recently took up violin in a desperate attempt to get some *** in my marriage. I figured the rosin glistening on the bow-hairs, the bow stroking up and down, the tortured shrieks of the instrument, would be irresistibly suggestive.

It hasn't worked.

The problem could be that my teacher, who is German, isn't satisfied that I hit the notes kinda right, push the bow straight, use my little finger when it says "4", and flex my wrist up and down. He wants me to obey every slur and God forbid there should be a note or two left over when I reach the end of the bow. This is cramping my style. I suspect German honeymoon manuals have all the bow strokes marked.

Besides, he won't let me slide. (I've noticed a brief gleam in the wife's eye when I do that.) "The glissando," says my German, "is only for the romantic piece" in a tone of voice which suggests that romance is something you do with wool-bearing livestock.

Anyway, I've heard that fiddlers change bow direction at will and slide if they feel like and am wondering if to switch.

My question therefore: do fiddlers get more *** than violinists? For ease of comparison, I suggest a simple *** Index which would be years married by average number of times/year.

A newly-wed could average, say, 2 years X 150 times or 300. I'm struggling to make a 27X1.

Desperate is the operative word here. Please help.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 02:35 AM

Depends what they are fiddling with... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 02:54 AM

Chuck the German and buy a manual.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 04:19 AM

I am a violinist and I am very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very HAPPY

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 04:37 AM

If you can tuck it under your chin, then you're bound to make friends.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 08:00 AM

Change to cajun style, they always "pass a good time"

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: bluenose
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 09:40 AM

I always find that the shape,s right and the holes there but there,s to many strings attached

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 10:13 AM

Give it up. Go learn to play trumpet. Learn to double and triple tongue.

Nuff said.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Jeri
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 10:46 AM

Well, I'm not married, but I sure get a lot of ...you ARE talking about 'ass', aren't you? Mainly it's when I sit down, because that's what I do when I fiddle. It's hard to do it standing up. It's probably the fact that I'm in that position that leads to the greater amount of it. I do a lot of other things that require me to sit, so the *** just gets bigger and bigger.

In all seriousness, if you play a tune the same exact way every time, it gets boring. Learn to improvise. Some fiddlers will tell you it's not allowed, but it's probably the ones whose partners fall asleep while they're fiddling. They can't manage anything out of the first position, and they don't want anyone else doing it if they can't. Just remember that any improvisation should be pleasant for both you AND listeners, or you might as well just play by yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 11:26 AM

Playing the violin allows musicians to come together

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 11:33 AM

Violin Of Love

My love is a violinist
and I the violin.
With loving hands he places me,
tenderly beneath his chin.

The bow is smoothly drawn across,
the sleeping strings awake.
Producing music soft and sweet,
of which our souls partake.

The beauty of the music,
comes not from the violin,
But by the lovers hand,
and his yearning soul within.

He partners with the instrument,
Integral to the bow.
While hearts and souls meld as one,
and passions ever grow.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 12:10 PM

do not PLAY the instrument...put romantic Violin music on radio or CD...kiss wife romanticly

(do NOT play Orange Blossom Special or Black Mountain Rag during ***.....you will get out of breath and need extra rosin!)

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 12:44 PM

Then out of his knapsack, a long fiddle he drew
And he played her such merry tunes as she ever knew,
And he played her such merry tunes, caused the valleys to ring
Hark hark, replied the fair maid, how the nightingales sing.

O come, said the soldier, 'tis time to give o'er
O no, said the maiden, please play one tune more.
I do like your playing, and the touching of the long string
And to see the pretty flowers grow, hear the nightingale sing.

From The Nightingales Sing in DT.
Strength to your elbow,
Keith.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Rasener
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 01:59 PM

Well I have just seen David Oakley playing beautifully on the fiddle with CARA, this afterenoon at the the park in Caistor. Didn't see him having any *** on the bandstand though.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: DougR
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 02:57 PM

Fiddlers probably do fiddle around more than violinists do. Violinists have to be too concerned about how they hold the fiddle, and the bow, to fiddle around very much I suspect.

DougR

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Blackcatter
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 09:01 PM

Gee, I knew fiddlers were anal, but . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 09:19 PM

They definitely may. Look at it this way:

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Jeri
Date: 11 Jul 04 - 09:25 PM

I did, Brucie (Hi!), but I just don't see it.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 02:05 AM

Is there a secret code in your message, brucie? (Hi!) "Look at this way:"? As in a long blank look, perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 04:02 AM

It depends entirely on what you are fiddling with.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,Dáithí mag Fhionnaín
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 04:33 AM

Nevr mind fiddles....Whistleplayers do it with their fingers and tongues.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 04:43 AM

Violinists win hands down

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,foolestroupe
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 05:09 AM

Piano Accordion Players are better Squeezers.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 05:23 AM

Damn, lost my cookie....

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Rasener
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 05:23 AM

LMAO

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,weerover
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 05:35 AM

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,weerover
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 05:36 AM

Could it be something to do with F-holes?

wr.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,Seaking
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 06:01 AM

and guitarists use a capo to get it up...

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,Doctor Ruth
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 06:13 AM

"please help"

Richard, try asking your wife for SEX instead of three asterisks. It might help.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 10:24 AM

SEX...! I thought we were talkng about ALE

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Blackcatter
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 10:27 AM

Gee - I was wondering how rosin could be spelled(spelt) ***.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 01:12 PM

If you spend time with a beginner fiddler it will undoubtedly give you the worst headache ever and that would not be conducive to more sex. That said luring your beloved away from the wailing with promises of untold delights might just give your ears a rest!! Oh Geoffrey...

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: Wyrd Sister
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 05:40 PM

I'd rather fiddle than put up with a Vile Din!

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: TheBigPinkLad
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 05:48 PM

Wyrd Sister I love your name.

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 06:13 PM

I don't know about fiddlers but I do know a few tales from people married to them.

One case the spouse would be awoken at all hours while the fiddler grabbed the fiddle to play some tune they were working on.

..

Subject: RE: BS: Do fiddlers get more ***?
From: GUEST,Richard H
Date: 12 Jul 04 - 06:28 PM

By the way, in lieu of ***, I spend most evenings playing endless (as in many, many) Irish tunes with a daughter - violin/recorder and sometimes another on guitar. While we may not do justice to the music, we certainly bring out the sentiment in the names. Like, "An phis fliuch" sounds like an phis fliuch when we play it. Also "The Cumann Na mBan are dead and gone".

Anyhow, I have a hankering to hear some good fiddle recordings. A McGarr-something sister from Ontario was over here recently and I enjoyed her Cape Breton renditions. And her dancing. And her...shoulder-rest?

I've been looking in Elderly catalog at Natalie MacMaster "Live",
Liz Carroll "Lake Effect" and Celtic Fiddle Festival "Rendezvous" with Kevin Burke, Jimmy Cunningham and Christiane Lemaitre.

These any good? I admire breakneck speed, but I like some slow sweetness too, in lieu of *** .