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BS: What Do Women Want???...
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Cluin Date: 04 Aug 04 - 03:14 AM Ah, if I had a dollar for every time I heard that, Sue... (I could get a new set of guitar strings) That's okay. I'm promised too. Never mind. We'll always have Paris. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,SueB Date: 04 Aug 04 - 02:38 AM That stuff about "If you want it done right, do it yourself" syndrome etc was meant to be sort of tongue-in-cheek, I was kind of poking fun at myself. I yam what I yam, what can I do? That sort of thing. Actually the best way to do laundry, bar none, is to haul it across the street in a pillow case and pick it up the next day washed, folded and wrapped in white butcher paper like some kind of enormously large roast. I really miss that little laundry drop-off service across from my first little apartment in Cambridge, Mass. Sometimes you would get back an odd sock that you had never seen before, which was like getting a little zen puzzle to ponder over. Also, I once lost a shirt I didn't like, but several weeks later gained a really cool Grateful Dead t-shirt that I slept in for a week and then returned with the dirty laundry. It didn't come back to me. I guess it was just a loaner. And Cluin, you're absolutely right. Now that you mention it, I do want you. Desperately. But alas, I am promised to another. Farewell, my love. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: jacqui.c Date: 04 Aug 04 - 01:50 AM Sue - no problem. I agree with you about hanging clothes and, yes, I get that feeling of do it yourself to get it done right, so I did when I was married. Resentment - when it happens take a few deep breaths and work out WHY you feel that way, then do something about it. If it's down to your own attitudes and expectations are they right? Working down that route finally showed me that the marriage I was in was not working and, due to very different expectations, wasn't going to. So I got out of it. He's remarried someone who is much more his idea of what a wife should be and I've now found someone who accepts me as I am, not as he would like me to be. It was a bit drastic but necessary for the situation. However, if other parts of the relationship are good then TALKING about the things that iritate, without bringing too much emotion into play, can work wonders. If you can't keep the emotion out of it - try a marriage counsellor - to preserve something you cherish it's worth it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,peedeecee Date: 04 Aug 04 - 01:05 AM What women really want is a closet relationship -- that is, a guy they keep in the closet until they feel like having some time with a guy. Then back into the closet with him. (My husband is on sabbatical, and he's HERE all the time! He retires next year - aagh!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST Date: 04 Aug 04 - 12:42 AM So CarolC, if I understand correctly, you are saying that by removing the emotional response to ... for argument's sake let's stick with your example .... ...you are saying that in response to not being able to read person X's mind with regard to watering the plants... ... if person Y, who didn't read person X's mind, removed the feeling of victimization from the response, the behavior of expecting person Y to read person X's mind would diminish?...... ...even if person Y went ahead and watered the plants anyway? Wouldn't the response of watering the plants - with or without the feeling of victimization - reinforce the expectation for person Y to read person X's mind? I can sort of see how the behavior would diminish if person Y removed the feeling of victimization and did not read person X's mind and didn't water the plants. The behavioral model predicts that the behavior would eventually become extinct (but allowing for other dynamics operating at the same time that the model doesn't take into account, other negative behaviors might arise to take its place. We can leave speculation about what shape those negative behaviors might take up to the individual's imagination).... I was always fascinated with behavioral psychology, but wondered how well it would work in situations such as relationships where many daynamics are operating. Boring, dry, dull, technical stuff. But if someone could come up with a therapy or whatever that would be applicable across many situations in which any number of dynamics might be working at any time, then.........??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Bobert Date: 03 Aug 04 - 11:32 PM and then Cluin woke up.... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Cluin Date: 03 Aug 04 - 11:29 PM Me. I can't help it. That's just the way it is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Bobert Date: 03 Aug 04 - 10:15 PM SueB: I think you is related to the P-Vine, I mean my friend's wife (this is getting tiresome but a guy's got to keep his pride, don't he??? nevermind)... Well, gol danged, that clothes line etiquet does make some sense now that its been explainerated to me and my frined should just get over it... Heck, ain't like nuthin' kinky 'er like votin' fir Bush 'er nuthin so he oughtta jus' get over it, hang 'um up Irish style and pick a battle, should there be any, that he can win... That's his story and Iz stickin' to it... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,SueB Date: 03 Aug 04 - 10:08 PM Sorry, there, Kendall and Jacqui, I obviously picked a bad example of the condition I sometimes refer to as Old-Fogeyism. As you can see, I have a few "buttons" and "issues" that sometimes get inadvertantly pushed, and in that thread about how young people have no sense of humour, I mistook you for one of those geezers that has to be humoured, or else. I think I stayed out of that thread, because I didn't want to offend, and I shouldn't have brought it up in this context. (Banging forehead with shoe, repeatedly.) As far as the rest of my remarks go, I hope Bobert didn't take them too seriously. I never set out with the intention of offending people, honest. I just say what I'm thinking, and whoops! there I went again. As far as laundry is concerned, there is a right way and a wrong way to do everything, and laundry is no exception. Hanging socks up in pairs makes perfect sense to me - saves trouble later. Hanging up teeshirts from the bottom also has its logic - I'd rather have the hem stretched or marked by the clothespins than the shoulders. Sometimes we're especially particular about the little things that we do have control over because it takes our minds off the scary big stuff that we have no control over at all. Also it's possible that your friend's wife is suffering from the same disease I am - the "If you want anything done right you have to do it yourself" syndrome, and one of the symptoms is a nagging sensation of resentment... No cure for that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: mg Date: 03 Aug 04 - 03:49 PM the clothesline is an example of obsessive compulsive behavior. Darned if I knew Irish had it because I hang clothes willy nilly. There are several approaches: One is to hang your own clothes and do your own laundry. Another is to offer to hang all the clothes your way, but neatly etc. Another is to discuss the oc component and say you are willing to do the necessary work but not the obsessive component. I refuse to do dishwasher loading for people who are compulsive about it. If I am helping and I do it reasonably, I will do it how I want to do it. They really get compulsive about loading dishwashers. Also folding baby diapers. You honestly don't need to ever ever ever fold baby diapers. Also you don't need to heat up baby milk...assuming you have a strong healthy baby. I don't know about unhealthy babies... mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,weerover Date: 03 Aug 04 - 03:45 PM ...and I'm just willing to bet someone out there is so ready to go off on one that they take GUEST,TTCM seriously... wr. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,TTCM Date: 03 Aug 04 - 03:40 PM Women want to be ruled by their males and made to obey. Sometimes with a slap in the face, sometimes with a mere spanking, but always thhey know secretly in their hearts, that they want to be punished for anything they do wrong. They want to be made to follow the rules. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Bobert Date: 03 Aug 04 - 03:19 PM Okay, now you all realy got me going on this women thing. Laundry!!!. Yup, I don't do it but I would if asked but I do hang it up on the line and here is where the real rub is: The P-Vine, I mean my friend's wife, is of Irish descent and thinks that there are clothes line monitors that come around an' grade you on yer danged clothes line skills. These grades are forwarded off to St. Peter who pulls them up on Judgement Day and is atnding therre at the danged Pearly Gate with a thick three ring binder filled with these clothes lines reports... "Ahhhh, we're rea; sorry, Bobert, but yer gonna have to do a couple hunner years on the pergatory bench fir hangin' the teeshirts from the top rather than the bottom. And here's another report where the socks weren't hung in matching pairs. That's gonna cost youa couple more hundred years! And look at this bed sheet... And pants are hung from the waist part down rather than the cuffs... Hummmm, as long as yer gonna have on the bench you might as well just pick Hell because they can take you right away... Awwwww, what's this? Hmmmmm. we see you were a blues player, too! We'll call down for them to come up and get you. Sorry. Better luck in the next life..." I mean, gol danged! Is this az woman thing too. Heck, like who cares as long as the stuff dries. Ain't like a sock ain't gonna dry 'cause its a black sock and is pinned with a blue one. Right? Black sock to Bobert: "I ain't dryin' 'cause I don't particularly like the company... You know how them blue socks is. Never matching nuthin' and think they're so danged purdy. Nope, I ain't dryin' fir nuthin'...." Nevermind... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,weerover Date: 03 Aug 04 - 02:04 PM Let her water her own damn plants. wr. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: CarolC Date: 03 Aug 04 - 01:53 PM Hmmm... Obviously every situation is different, but one thing Bobert's friend could try would be to work on not feeling victimized when his wife gets angry because he didn't read her mind. He could try to remain emotionally neutral and either go water the plants without responding to her anger, or to carry on as he was doing without responding to her anger. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST Date: 03 Aug 04 - 11:26 AM CarolC ...your 31July 12:45pm post: The behavioristic psychology approach you suggest is intriguing, but I'm having trouble envisioning an example. Care to provide one, hypothetical or otherwise, to illustrate your point? Thanks, GUEST |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,Ellenpoly Date: 03 Aug 04 - 10:49 AM I just caught up on this thread. Damn, brucie! Half my once-white clothes are a nice shade of pink by now! I often point people to the frig and figure my job is done. Life is too short for dainty little sandwiches made by moi. I enjoy reading a map, give directions to whoever wants them and fold my laundry (but really, DOES anyone fold their underwear??) And of course you soak the dishes! Less elbow grease needed (though over night at most...days? I do like to get to them before the cockroaches decide it's smorgasbord time.) And Amos-"that role's been taken by a quadruped" was my whole POINT! So it just goes to show, there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to who wants what and how things are done according to our gender...and being best of friends means the gates of communication stay open, WIDE open-even when it sometimes hurts. If we didn't make mistake along the way, we'd never learn, but for me, the point is to be allowed to make those mistakes, and not to think making them will be the end of the world. We're all flawed, fragile and and singular creatures. Just being nice to each other goes a long long way. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 03 Aug 04 - 02:21 AM Kaleea, Ah! another Mult-instrumentalist! And I too am looking for someone like you. I mean, er, a roadie.... um... to help me get may gear off, um, er, to a gig, like.... Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Kaleea Date: 03 Aug 04 - 12:08 AM Now, Bobert, the answer is so simple that most men miss it. I could tell you about my standard jokes I always say in jest: I need a roadie to carry all of my instruments-or one with enough $$ to hire it done. ///// OR: 50-something, good looking, independently wealthy, worships the ground I walk on. uh, (Don Adams voice)would you believe, somewhere between legal age & death, I don't care what he looks like, it'd be nice if he had a job & sorta likes me. BUT: my older brother summed it all up--in public & in my presence no less--when speaking to a younger man only couple years married. "Son, if you want to please your woman, you only need to remember two little words: >>>>> >>> >>>>>> YES, MA'AM!!!!!!!!" Uh, Bobert, do you understand the answer to your question now? Uh, but seriously folks, um . . .actually, I DO really need a roadie cause I have so many Musical Instruments I can't take all I want to play to a jam or gig. [be sure to fax your applications & include a complete financial report in triplicate, along with 3 references . . . ummmm, men only please, cause I ain't that other kinda gal] ah . . .hahahahahahahahah, HA HA! :) ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Little Hawk Date: 02 Aug 04 - 10:54 PM Sure. That makes sense. It's not hard to put a seat down, is it? If the seat is up, you can see if the toilet rim needs cleaning. This is a good thing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Bobert Date: 02 Aug 04 - 09:30 PM Actually, according to the Central Missouri Hygenical Institute (CMHI -Division III football but up and coming) the toilet seat should be kept in the upright position when not in use. This prevents harmfull bacteria from growing between the underside of the seat and the bowl. Jus' thought I'd throw that little tidbit into the fray... I was sure glad to read that study 'cause me and Wes Ginny Slide Rule have had that issue in our Top 10 on the Worry List for years.... Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 09:25 PM Gotcha. I was foolin' around. I did once put bleach in with a new bright-red T-shirt. Wore pink underwear for a while. However, the rest of that is bologna. Received a PM from one gal who liked it. Made my day for me. Later, Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Amos Date: 02 Aug 04 - 09:16 PM Brucie: It was in reference to the post by someone who couldn't be bothered to learn what hot water does to cardigans...sorry pal, but I assume you had your tongue in your cheek. If not... see my last post. 'Course, it is also true that someone could have bothered to teach you.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 02 Aug 04 - 09:15 PM "Toilet seats are supposed to be up. Else why would there be a hinge?" Flushing the toilet with the seat up creates an aerosol, which contains whatever was in the water. You really want that shit sprayed around for you to breathe? Put the bloody lid down when you flush! Robin O-> |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 08:51 PM And that ius in reference to what, Amos? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Amos Date: 02 Aug 04 - 07:57 PM I would suggest if you don't know how to operate a washing machine safely, just as eith an automobile, you leave it the hell alone. Justifying your stupidity by being arrogant about it is just making you look dumber. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 07:43 PM GUEST: You likely are still with your mother. Tell your dad to use condoms; we don't want too many more of you around. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST Date: 02 Aug 04 - 07:41 PM My ex wanted the stuff separated first. (Whites, mixed, etc.) I just put it all in. How the hell was I supposed to know that her new $325 fancy wool sweater from her mother would shrink in a hot water wash? Another wimp who left his mother to find a substitute. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: TheBigPinkLad Date: 02 Aug 04 - 07:40 PM Toilet seats are supposed to be up. Else why would there be a hinge? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Pogo Date: 02 Aug 04 - 07:35 PM what do women want??? *cough* just taking a guess here...but top of the list would probably be " for men to stop asking silly questions like 'What do women want?' " ...and of course put the toliet seat down ;OD {O) |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 07:25 PM Story of my life, Kendall. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: kendall Date: 02 Aug 04 - 07:19 PM The thing to do is not blame inappropriate people, but to get in touch with why we are attracted to the wrong partners. Sorry to have to say it, but it is not ALL their fault. Sometimes our energies are just not compatible. It's too bad that we all live in a society where someone has to be to blame, and it's always the "Other" person. Makes it easier to avoid examining our own "shit". The problem with that is, we never get beyong that stuck place and we keep making the same stupid mistakes over and over. The definition of insanity is "Performing the same task over and over the same way, hoping for a different outcome." I'm sure as hell guilty, anyone else care to admit it? |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 06:20 PM I hear you, MAG. Thanks for sharing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: MAG Date: 02 Aug 04 - 06:13 PM Brucie, I think what I need is to be a better judge of people. This same guy promised to learn how to dance for me, and it was a lie. He gave new meaning to the term passive-aggressive. Now I can't dance anymore but wouldn't mind the occasional good neck and shoulder rub, with reciprocity, of course. I'm with Liz; winning the lotto so I wouldn't be stressed about the mortgage all the time wouldn't be bad. Not having to work so I could read and practice and garden. (11 years, and counting ...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 06:08 PM So, MAG, you want to be listened to. We are making progress here. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 06:04 PM That's the beauty of his/her piles. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: MAG Date: 02 Aug 04 - 05:57 PM I see nothing wrong with putting clothes in a washer. My ex wanted the stuff separated first. (Whites, mixed, etc.) I just put it all in. How the hell was I supposed to know that her new $325 fancy wool sweater from her mother would shrink in a hot water wash? I ask you. And who knows that bleach does that to new shirts My most recent ex did this crap, even when I asked him, nicely, to please leave my clothes alone. He ruined my crepe dress slacks and I nicely asked him to not try to "help" me anymore with laundry. He showed up every night for a week wanting to take me out for a little bit, when I nicely explained I had a program to prepare for, and threw a hissy fit when I finally said no (nicely). He refused to leave when I nicely told him I needed privacy for a call to my shrink, and got mad when I nicely asked him why he needed to eavesdrop on my need to discuss feeling smothered. Then he got mad, and I said I didn't give a flying fuck. Can't live with 'em, ... can't live with 'em. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 05:37 PM The above post was directed to GUEST who mentioned dear, dear Esmerelda. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 05:27 PM It was a girl goat. I know the difference, ya jackoff. You have some serious sexual identity issues, and maybe sometime soon you should get you ashes hauled by a competent workin' gal or guy. It's likely my goat would walk away from you. But then, I doubt you've had anyone in you life but your hand. Try the other had, and you'll think it's someone else you racist piece of shit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,TTCM Date: 02 Aug 04 - 05:16 PM Shy Guy knows this because he was the goat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Georgiansilver Date: 02 Aug 04 - 05:06 PM Martin Gibson is alive and well I reckon! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,shy guy Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:52 PM this coming from a guy who fucks goats |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: mg Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:48 PM Brucie, I am your sort of housekeeper. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:43 PM That's the philosophy that got the US into Iraq. "You got it; I want it; therefore, it's my right to take it." That blames the victim. Rape in any form is about power and the abuse of power. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: GUEST,shy guy Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:37 PM It's simple. Women have a nearly inexhaustable supply of what men crave. Yet, while they apparently crave it as well, they are the ones how control it. It's surprising to me that date rape isn't even more common than it is. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:33 PM Sorry abuot the tpyos. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Peace Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:29 PM The thinking thing is different, and there is no doubt about that in my experience. However, I think we have to bear in mind that some stuff we attribute to people as being fundamental to the way they are because of their sex (gender) may just be the people. My ex would host a party and prepare, say, sandwiches. They would be cut into those little triangles and the crusts lopped off and each slice of bread would be buttered and carefully arranged with assorted stuff. I would host a part and put a few loaves of bread on the table with stuff and tell people to make their own. My ex would ask if anyone wanted more wine or beer. I would tell folks it was in the fridge (which was in the kitchen). My ex didn't read road maps worth a damn. She never could. I am a guy. I didn't read them at all. Each of us got us lots many times. How much of this is gender related and how much is people I don't know. I see nothing wrong with putting clothes in a washer. My ex wanted the stuff separated first. (Whites, mixed, etc.) I just put it all in. How the hell was I supposed to know that her new $325 fancy wool sweater from her mother would shrink in a hot water wash? I ask you. And who knows that bleach does that to new shirts? Like, if people find this stuff out, they should let other people know, right? I'm a friggin' teacher/fire fighter, not a chemist. Folding laundry. I did it in basic because my sergeant said I had to. I ain't in basic anymore. Who the hell folds underwear? My ass will make the wrinkles disappear for gawd sake. The wrinkles in my ass concern me more. And what is this fetish people have with ironing? Guys and gals. If the shirt is comfortable, WEAR IT! The wrinkles will get taken out when you was the thing. Vacuuming. If vacuum cleaners are worth what ya paid for 'em, then once over a spot should do it. If the speck of whatever doesn't want to get sucked up, then you need a new vacuum cleaner. This 'go over the same spot a few times' routine really gets me ticked. Dishes: I agree that they should be washed. No question. But some of us--male and female--don't feel that a soak time of a few days is unreasonable. I am really rambling here. Let me close with this: It's all about expectations. |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: InOBU Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:27 PM What most women want is the latest Lorcan Otway CD! The Best Of Lorcan Otway Is Yet To Come! Available for a resonable price through PM to InOBU@aol.com. Title the email, SEND ME MUSIC!!!! Yes this never devorced folk singer sings for the women of the world!!! Queen Elizabeth of Britain declairs, "He employs far fewer bad words than does John Otway... I danced about the palace nearly stepping on my dear corgies!... Pray tell us, where IS Bangladesh?" YES! This CD (5 cents extra for the royal seal... $1 extra for the Bobby Seale...) is ready to play on all the best holidays (see Happy July 4th to the world...) So there you all, sisters of the planit, what women realy want - on sale NOW NOW NOW (National Organization of Woman...) Cheers Larry |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Nerd Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:20 PM As they say in my neighborhood, GUEST, Daaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmnnnnnnnnnnnnnn! |
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Subject: RE: BS: What Do Women Want???... From: Georgiansilver Date: 02 Aug 04 - 04:18 PM Women know what women want...Men know what women want..but somehow the twain do not meet too well...as the divorce rate testifies. Best wishes. |
