BS: Mudcat Tavern, Grill and Flame Bunker

Subject: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 04:15 PM

Thank G*d for Bert's credit card! I called a cleaning service AND a groundskeeping crew. they've polished and shined the entire building - including the recording studio on the third floor (when did we get a third floor? I thought those stairs led to the roof!) - and all the - ehem - "droppings" in the back garden have been composted.

There's a new tanker truck worth of Guiness ready to be tapped - and the entire Mudcat Blue Plate Special collection is lined up on the CD player - I'm just going to go into the padded room for a bit for some primal scream therapy - maybe for a few weeks.

If I'm not out by the weekend - send a nubile young female after me, please?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 04:26 PM

If Mmario's opened it I know THIS Tavern has a nice comfy jello pit and at least one pair of recliners, yay!

I'll have a double Rusty Nail, on Bert of course, and the blue recliner over here by the fire... it's chilly up here in the mountains!

I'll stand for the next round (on Bert again of course); who's thirsty?

And which NYF will volunteer to fetch Mmario in time to get to his next festival?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Wesley S
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 04:32 PM

And I DEMAND a hot dog with lots of Heinz ketchup on it.

And a root beer.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: GUEST,voice from the padded room
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 04:34 PM

a hot dog with ketchup and root beer!?!

Doesn't that make the bun soggy?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 05:10 PM

I'll take some Heinz ketchup without the hot dog please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 05:42 PM

well, at least you're having your vegetable for the day, Carol...

I need a LEAST a good single-malt Scotch to deal with this last week....make it a Talisker!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 05:46 PM

Have a recliner Bill. Tell me ALL about your firewall! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 05:57 PM

Well, I'd like to try that Guinness. But is there anyone behind the bar? But I don't like the sound of that tanker - Guinness comes in casks where I come from. (Grumble grumble mumble...)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 06:03 PM

Behind the bar hovers the ethereal figure of Mudcat Past, a generous, creative spirit with depth and heart, and many a story to share. With every drink slid across the polished bartop comes a whisper... and what is it? It's a dream-fragment made of the songs, scents, and stories of the auld Taverns... the creak of a ship, someone chanting "WOBH," a desert-island breeze, the ruffling fur of a Sugar Dog, the slap of knickers on a flagpole.....

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Once Famous
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 06:04 PM

..........and someone puking on the floor.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 06:56 PM

With a faster-than-sight WHOOSH, a smallish tawny creature whips past MG's legs, setting him spinning in a sort of mad "hora" and laughing in glee. She dances him right past the gleaming puddle of puke and he lands SPLAT on a barstool.... and off she streaks into the night.....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: pdq
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 07:05 PM

But not before she knocks the picture "The Scream" off the wall, sending it crashing to the floor.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 07:11 PM

"Barkeep I feels like inventin' a new drink. Put some Lambs 151 proof in a shotglass wit some ooozo and light er up."

Newfie sailor slurps it down then blows out the fire.

"I calls it a flaming GUEST"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 07:47 PM

My name is CarolC and I am addicted to ketchup.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Leadfingers
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 07:55 PM

The Hell with all this peace and tranquility - I've got ALL the banjos with me so when does the session start ?? AND I will have a pint of that Guiness , thanks .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 08:12 PM

A voice from the recliner, where a lady sits with an autoharp on her lap, ready to hammer...Leadfingers, well met! How about teaching me "Margaret's Waltz"? What key? How does it go? (Link to MIDI appreciated)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: khandu
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 08:19 PM

Keep the Guinness a'comin', boys & I'll be here til the dew drops!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Charley Noble
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 09:28 PM

I slipped into the Mudcat Tavern, boldly stepped up to the bar,
My steel trap mind could tell there was trouble not too far;
Then the whole place exploded, there were commies everywhere;
I said, "I'm from the CIA!" They didn't seem to care...

Just recycling an old song we used to sing during Peace Corps training back in the 1960's.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 09:43 PM

Sage's feet crunch on the newly-raked gravel path as she walks onto the new patio and around to the side door. She unconsciously lifts the portrait as she passes and plops it back on the brass hook on the wall. She blinks. . . it looks like a duck is dragging a damp rag over a damp spot further on.

Mmario! How's you train him to do that? Several bystanders watch in awe as the duck makes a quick circle on the floor, rag in bill, then trots off down the hall to the back door.

I'll have a glass of red wine, please. And what's to eat around here? And someone, open that Southern door, see if it reaches Guam--maybe Naemanson wants to step in for a few. He sounds like he needs a break.

What'cha playing, Susan?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 10:01 PM

Talisker, por favor. Mucho Talisker, gracias. Muy mucho Talisker. In fact, just run a hose to the bottle, thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 10:08 PM

I'll be playing Margaret's Waltz if Leadfingers gets it going. Till then it's all blues, for the Sugar Dog.

Maybe THIS ONE?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Aug 04 - 10:59 PM

I would like three gallons of tomato juice please. Two cats are missing and my house reeks of skunk!

Anyone for a cranberry Jello Shot? They are disgusting but i hate to throw away good vodka.

Warm up a little sake for Brett and Wakana. Both could use a massage and a warm bubble bath too.

Me? I'll have a JD on the rocks.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Gervase
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 04:30 AM

A pint of 6X please - and thanks for the free peanuts, they'll do nicely as earplugs until I can get Leadfingers oiled enough to forget where he put all those banjos!
Mind you, if you're serving sake, I'll have a bottle in the hottie and to hell with the headache in the morning.
By the way, is it me, or is that cat over there in the corner drunk? Tsk - never can get the little buggers to stop lapping at dubious pools on on the bar-room floor.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 04:38 AM

Sinsull's house smells of skunk? Pass the Rizla.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Leadfingers
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 04:54 AM

So I sit there running through Margarets Waltz in A and wishing I wasn't so idle and could actually do MIDI's , or even read music properly

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 06:34 AM

I'll have a gin and tonic, made with vodka thanks barkeep. No not a vodka and tonic, replace the tonic with the vodka not the gin thanks.
When that young man in the corner has finished playing that frying pan, I'll have some bacon and eggs too, with tomato sauce, if them there veggie-ma-tarians haven't eaten it all.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 07:14 AM

I would like a dry white wine, a Maine lobster with melted butter and a nice comfy armchair by the fire. I'll even put up with Leadfinger's banjo playing at the moment.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 07:39 AM

The door slowly creaks open and a dark-haired female tentatively peeks through the crack. No one seems to notice her, so with relief she slides onto a bar stool. "Is the kettle on? I'll have a cup of Yorkshire Gold tea- make it strong, with milk and sugar!"

While waiting for the brew to get to the right consistency (ten minutes should do it) she pulls out her concertina and plays along with the banjo and autoharp. "Margaret's waltz- I've only had this thing for a few months, but I can manage that!"

Mercury being definitely in retrograde (I checked) I need a place to hang out until it's safe to go back outside. Just don't look at the front fender of my car, ok?

Allison

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 09:04 AM

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I needed that!

(Whipping out a loaded .45 Colt's Revolver and placing it prominently on the bar):

Now here's the deal. You WILL be civil and even polite to one another whilst you're in here. Like a century ago, neither politics nor religion will be discussed EXCEPT in polite, civil ways that respect the other person's point of view and I suggest you don't bring 'em up at all. Anyone mentioning or even thinking of a living politician will be locked into the soundproof booth and forced to listen to accordion-accompanied rap music WITHOUT the benefit of likker or drugs.

(Violently stabbing a huge D-guard Bowie knife into the bar):

And if you got a name, even a Mudcat name, USE IT.

'Cuz if you violate any of these commandments, you gotta deal with me. And I'm the nastiest, meanest, most low-down drygulcher ever rode the coulees. I eat lightin' fer breakfast, earthquakes for lunch, and seven cases of dynamite fer dinner. I had my teeth pulled and replaced with railroad spikes. I've chawed up, beaten up, whomped, and hogtied more two legged skunks than Carter's got little liver pills. Whole graveyards are filled with the folks who crossed me. I drank raw nitroglycerine, spit into the sky, and made the craters on the Moon. When I was born they put on another shift at the distillery -- and I suckled drain cleanin' whiskey laced with battery acid. I don't shave and I don't pound in my whiskers and bite 'em off inside, neither -- I just take a block plane and a ramp to 'em. Ladies love me, grizzlies fear me, and I use a mountain lion as a pussycat on the hearth. Steer clear of me unless you're ready to have your Maker pick up the pieces of what used to be you!

A glass of milk, barmaid, please. And put a drop of Redbreast in it, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 09:08 AM

A bit less noise at the bar please - some of us are trying to sleep!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 09:11 AM

Oops. Sorry. I'll whisper from now on.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Gervase
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 09:15 AM

Some scruffy sod over there said "We're going to buy this place and install a f***ing jukebox to liven you stiffs up a bit".
Do you think he's been drinking? Or have I come on holiday by mistake?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: GUEST,intercom message from the padded room
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 09:41 AM

huh! let them try and buy the Tavern! We have the deed irrevocably tied up in a living trust with a proxy title purchased through NYCFTTS and administered by FLP&S.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 10:54 AM

The JD is settling in nicely. Leadfingers, can you play Sleep Kentucky Babe for me. I'll hum when appropriate. Plinka plinka plinka plinka plinka plinka plink...Sleep Kentucky Babe...


Mercury in retrograde - that explains a lot. What an incredibly disappointing week. But I will celebrate that it is over. Someone bring Seamus (the big hairy fellow lying at my feet some bacon and eggs with a side of sausage. Thanks. And don't let him catch sight of the cat or we will have a three ring circus on our hands.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:43 AM

Lovely waltz, Allison, I'm glad YOU knew how it went!

Whose cat is that anyhow? I know it didn't sneak in with The Sugar Dog.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: GUEST,muffled voice from the padded room
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:51 AM

It moved in during the Christmas party.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: GUEST,a privy source...
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:53 AM

I have just one thing I wish to say here. Ahem.

WILLIAM SH--------- (Urk! Bhg..! Gah..hk!)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:55 AM

did someone mention Maine lobster? Charlie said they are the world's best & said he'd shout me one if I ever came to Maine, but as a visit to Maine is unlikely ...

Is there another Maine lobster where that one came from? I have a frantically busy weekend ahead of me - about 3 days worth of stuff to fit in 2 days - so a delicious meal & good music & great company would be appreciated.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 11:58 AM

It's alright - the cat's on my lap and showing no sign of moving. That's a good excuse for me to do the same thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:05 PM

Oh so quietly, he takes the peanuts out of the cylinder of the .45 Colt's Revolver and eats them. And he whispers to the barkeep,

“Talisker, please. And whoever can pull that Bowie knife out of the granite top of the bar is the rightful Monarch of England, although I can’t imagine why anyone would want THAT bloody job. Thank you.”

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:07 PM

Ellenpoly tip-toes in, hoping no one will notice (she tried this once before going into Mudcat through the backdoor, and is still cleaning up the mess she made) and quietly sits down at jacqui's feet. She meows sadly and looks up hopefully at that lobster. Maybe if jacqui is busy with that other cat in her lap, she'll not notice if Ellenpoly juuuusssst carrreefuuullly

SINKS HER CLAWS INTO JACQUI'S LEG, MAKING BOTH HER AND HER DAMN CAT BOLT STRAIGHT UP THREE FEET IN THE AIR, LEAVING IT CLEAR TO GRAB THAT LOBSTER AND MAKE A DASH FOR THE DOOR!

"Sorry jacqui", Ellenpoly whispers quietly in the alley, munching away. "But there are plenty more where you're going"...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Bill D
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:11 PM

sorry I had to run before I sat back in the recliner and explained firewalls, Susan..we are sending my kid off to college this weekend, and I am in & out with little time to even drink!...

*slupring at MY Takisker before Rapaire, (man of exquistite taste that he is), gets it while I'm not looking. I shall be off today, hauling dorm supplies, but will gratefully collapse later this evening and explain all and sundry..('ol time evangalist, go by name Billy)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:21 PM

And they're off!!!! jacqui chasing the lobster, the cat chasing jacqui and Seamus chasing the cat! Damn that dog! Obedience school for you, Sir!

Well...no point in joining the mayhem. I will let them sort it out. Sooner or later the dog will come back but DON'T TELL KENDALL! Another JD and pass the chips, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 12:22 PM

Ouch! Ellenpolly, why didn't you just sneak behind the bar and stickup MMario? He'd have given you a lobster. Poor Jacqui, she's stuck in the harness that was there for the tree last year. Now you've started something!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:03 PM

Well I mean to say MMario exclaimed putting down his crochet hook, " Up here in the Finger Lakes region we don't got many lobsters. I do believe there's a nice bar in Seneca Falls where they do a great line in Fajitas. Just across from the mall. Giok sits back and sips his Margarita, he was only drinking it because he was short on the ingredients for Tequila Sunrise; got to use the Tequila up before it goes off. "Ellenpolly, will you stop trying to drink outa my glass!"

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: GUEST,bursting out of the padded room
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:09 PM

hey waitaminite! I'm a Cape Codder! I can *ALWAYS* get lobster - even if it is those miniscule little ones from the tank at Wegman's or P&C! (Besides - I just came back from the Cape - so I coulda picked some up...)

*looks around*

wow! It got crowded in here....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:22 PM

Two GUESTS in the padded room? Why weren't they shipped off to the NYCFTTS? What have you been surviving on since Christmas? This is just wrong! Who's in charge here? Max? MAX????? This is taking the no interference clause a bit too far.

Meantime - that GUEST smells really bad. Put him back in the room or lock him outside.

Another JD please. I'm not driving.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: MMario
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:29 PM

Sinsull! READ the thread!

it was *I* in the padded room - decompressing. 'Spaw says I can't go back to the NYCFTTS until I pay my bill - and he told them not to accept Bert's credit card number!!!!!

what does she mean smells bad? I showered!

WESLEY! When are we gonna get to see some updated piccies of the boy? Hmmmm?????

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:33 PM

Relax, SINSULL. Mmario is in charge in here of course-- he opened the Tavern! And everything is going just fine. Maybe some of the more recent habitues still have a thing or two to learn about the Tavern traditions, but they're off to a fine start!

The Spirit of Mudcat Past, still serving faithfully behind the bar, speaks...."Where's that wench Caitrin?!!? Now THAT girl could tend bar! Or that Lonesome EJ..."

He continues polishing glasses, since it may be a busy night.....

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern,Grill and Flame Bunker
From: wysiwyg
Date: 27 Aug 04 - 02:34 PM

Relax, SINSULL. Mmario is in charge in here of course-- he opened the Tavern! And everything is going just fine. Maybe some of the more recent habitues still have a thing or two to learn about the Tavern traditions, but they're off to a fine start!

The Spirit of Mudcat Past, still serving faithfully behind the bar, speaks...."Where's that wench Caitrin?!!? Now THAT girl could tend bar! Or that Lonesome EJ..." He continues polishing glasses, since it may be a busy night.....

~Susan