BS: My simple plan for salvation

Subject: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 09:35 PM

Just be yourself at all times. You'll get there sooner than most people if you manage that.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 09:43 PM

My simple Plan for Salvation is to persuade you-all to send me all your money, Thank You Very Much!...

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 10:30 PM

I would, but I'm worried that you might lose your bearings and go astray with that much cash at your disposal, and then I would be partially responsible for your downfall...

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 10:40 PM

I'm tempted to start a thread on "My plan for salvaging simpletons", but I can see where it would go.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: katlaughing
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 10:53 PM

Well like BillDee do ya really, really know how, I mean like so what can you like do for like savage simpletons, ya know?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 11:01 PM

Salvaging simpletons is a vain and thankless task, Bill! I've seen many a fine young woman waste a good portion of her life on that little effort. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 11:17 PM

Savaging simpletons?

I was thinking, earlier this evening, in a somewhat cynically playful way, that really, I oughtta start a religion thread every day, or run a "Devotional Thought for the Day" thread, JUST to de-sensitize folks around here on the religion issue that so bugs so many so often so thoroughly. To make it a non-buzz-issue. The short term result would be massive doeses of hatred flung my way, but long term it might actually make it a non-issue. Kinda like we're all Shatnered out?

I see now that I need not bother-- there will always be enough derivative threads started to take care of that, all by itself.

So when ya see one, chill, huh, cuz WHO CARES?

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 11:24 PM

Shatnered out??? You can't mean that! Well, but you have a good point there about de-sensitizing people through repetition. Lenny Bruce and Dick Gregory used to do just that, and it worked.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 11:37 PM

I believe the Hull contingent have already started a campaign of this sort, using stupidity instead of religion. So far the desensitization effect has not manifested. Of course when the density and oppressiveness reach a certain level, you get an exodus to other activities, which is unfortunate considering how fine a community this has been. But that is not a consideration to the drum beaters, axe grinders, and hobby-horse riders.

A

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 11:48 PM

No amount of stupidity can ever discourage the inflicting of further bouts of it, Amos, if my observation of the behaviour of stupid young men is any indication. Only age and experience tend to temper it after awhile. I think the forum has changed probably because its membership (and visitors) keeps expanding and its sense of community gets watered down in the process. Kind of like what happens when you turn 15 or 20 unique local stores into a WalMart and McDonald's complex...

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Sep 04 - 11:59 PM

Little Hawk, that is the single most reasonable and erudite thing you have said in , oh, like, ages.....

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: CarolC
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 12:31 AM

So who's the simpleton, the one who starts the thread, or the one who opens it and reads it even though they probably know from the title they're not going to like what's in it?

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 12:47 AM

drum beaters, axe grinders, and hobby-horse riders.

Amos, they sound like good events for the common people's Olympics :-)

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 01:58 AM

yes, but which of my many selves shall i be?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Dewey
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 03:26 AM

1. Make people feel guilty
2. Threaten them with the fires of hell (if they don't change)
3. Mention how disappointed their dead family members will be when they do not see them in heaven.
4. Tell them they must change.
5. Tell them to go to your church
6. Tell them that they must change others and send them to your church
7. Tell them they must give a very large freewill offering to your church to maintain their salvation.
8. Tell them they must tell others to come to your church and offer the same freewill offering that you have made, plus top the amount of that freewill offering. (tiths offering and a tenth belongs to God (the church)
9. Tell them God is A Republican and Demands all creatures of the earth to listen and support Jerry Falwell's Moral Majority and GOP platform. (as well as all missionary operations overseas to convert the "hethen")
10. Tell them they must drop religious tracts everywhere including restaurants as "tips" for better living.

This is the 10 step program, for programming a christian for his, "Calling"

Dewey

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: robomatic
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 04:45 AM

My father started a religion based on weather control and proper alms giving. He began getting adherents right away so he quit.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: LilyFestre
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 05:48 PM

My mother-in-law's neighbor belongs to some Davidian thing and cuts her grass in a certain pattern because she is convinced that Jesus is of the 4th dimension and coming to visit us via a spaceship. Amongst this pattern in her lawn is a gateway for Jesus...when he lands and crosses that gateway, he will be visible to us. Last summer he was to arrive.....lots of folks came to her house...we wanted to set up a concession stand. *smirk*

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: GUEST,God
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 05:56 PM

I just noticed this thread, and I want you all to be aware that Jesus gets a good allowance from me, and doesn't need to cut grass for his pocket money, but if there is to be a concession stand, he might freeze Holy water and sell Popesicles.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: LilyFestre
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 06:01 PM

ROFLMAO.....what? No slushies? LMAO!!!!!!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 06:02 PM

PopeSICLES, I would hope.

I see no pressing need to be harvesting Popes.....

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 06:47 PM

Dang! I didn't know about that happening last summer, Michelle. It's just not fair! It's almost as bad as the time I missed seeing William Shatner speak in Schenectady...

Dewey - That is a horrifyingly apt description of one religious group's plan for salvation. I am reminded of that great bumper sticker: "God, please protect me from your followers!"

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 06:56 PM

I read this thread title as "My simple plan for starvation" and thought it was another Atkins thread. Actually, starving simpletons sounds like a plan, a bit extreme but...

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: frogprince
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 07:31 PM

I made up a few "redneck" lines of my own awhile back, including,
"You are definitely a redneck if...1. Anyone picked up a snake as part of your wedding ceremony...2. Your children are named after places in the Bible where grizzly things happened [as Yahweh is my witness, I know a case of that].. or, 3. You're sure those flying saucer sightings are really Jesus looking for a place to land..

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 07:47 PM

Attend lots of folk festivals, drink lots of beer.......you may not be saved but you won't give a damn

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 08:00 PM

I'll go with the first half of that. Beer makes me feel dull and rather toxic.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 09:17 PM

The Pope produces Holy Water.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 09:29 PM

From the Thread List

BS: A new level of terror
BS: God's simple plan of salvation...

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Sep 04 - 10:41 PM

Heh! You're on a roll, Foolestroupe.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: GUEST,tarheel
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 05:17 PM

i had a dear close friend once who was an athiest!....but she gave it up!....no holidays!!!

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Amergin
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 05:23 PM

""You are definitely a redneck if...1. Anyone picked up a snake as part of your wedding ceremony..."

isn't that an Aussie tradition?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 05:33 PM

the worst part of being an atheist....not having anyone to call out to during orgasm!

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: frogprince
Date: 11 Sep 04 - 11:18 PM

Gee, I dunno, Amergin; I only know of snake-handling in church as an American tradition. Maybe we don't have it all to ourselves after all?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 10:10 PM

Qoute=[Amos]="I think Hull people, blar, blar, blar etc "
I think Amos is bloddy moan too much, and always picking on hull people [probubly rasist].

he moaned before "too much BS", but he always post to bs thread, never music thread!

[click any bs thread, very high chance that amos is there!, click any music thread= no chance of see amos there!

he pick on Ted from Hull, s6k [from Hull], and me [see thread "BS Zoroastrian", he says
"John from Hull is Drunkard etc etc etc"

And see thread "Uri Geller" he says "Can you bend spooms then jOhn?"

I don't want to bend spoons, bending spoons is crap, i got a proper job, that is useful to people!

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 10:21 PM

qoute [Amos] =Density and oppresivness"!
Amos been opressed by hull people????
Nutter!
Amos is saying that mudcat is getting crap, and its hull people fault, hes just making lies!

Amos-Look at the FAQ, see the bit where it says "The best of Mudcat",
the very first thread linked to is one that I [a hull person!] started!
so just shut up.

Also see thread Exeptional people, [or wahtever its called].

anyway=Amos is just jellous, because his town is rubbish, anf hull is great.


john

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 10:33 PM

That's a pretty devastating line of attack there, jOhn. I think that Amos will probably just slink off and lick his wounds for awhile after reading it. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 10:34 PM

He can kiss my fat arse.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 10:51 PM

moany people piss me off, there is big problem in world [hungry people, poor people etc etc etc], but amos moans about hull people using mudcat, anyway most hull people here are proffesional musicians, i myself have been in a band [drummer], and made money from music, many hull people made cd's, punch the horse etc etc etc.

and Amos moaned at Ted, S6k and me, but he never moaned at or picked on Les from Hull, we all know why!
anyway, i won't visit Amos when i go to america, becase he moans tpoo much, and i'm not joking.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:01 PM

I don't know why Amos didn't pick on Les from Hull. Why didn't Amos pick on Les from Hull?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:05 PM

Because he's jealous of Les's beard.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:05 PM

Because Les is more?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:06 PM

and Les is big bloke, ands used to do rugby and boxing and stuff like that.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:07 PM

and Morriss dancing.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:10 PM

Amos always picks on morris dancer, John. You must be thinking of a different Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:11 PM

Morris Dancers are rubbish.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:13 PM

Amos is rubbish, awalys bloddy moaning.

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:13 PM

I can't find you thread in the 'best of Mudcat', John. What's it called?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:17 PM

"Exceptional people in our lives"
is that the one you looking for?

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:30 PM

The one you mention in this bit:

Amos-Look at the FAQ, see the bit where it says "The best of Mudcat",
the very first thread linked to is one that I [a hull person!] started!

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:46 PM

Folk Music On The Radio,
it was in the best of mudcat area, maybe they moveed it, any way=amos moans too much!

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: GUEST,SueB
Date: 12 Sep 04 - 11:50 PM

So who needs salvation? Not me....

Subject: RE: BS: My simple plan for salvation
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 13 Sep 04 - 12:25 AM

Amos is quiet!

I know he's seen this thread, I told him I'd mentioned him in it, a whilev ago.