Lyr Req: Songs about golf

Subject: Lyr Add: 18 Holes (16 Tons Parody)
From: Jason Xion Wang
Date: 07 Jan 11 - 07:31 AM

18 Holes
(John Denver)

When you see me tee up, you'd better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died
I hook it to the left, I shank it to the right
I'll be looking for my ball until the dark of the night

You play 18 holes, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
St Andrew don't you call me, 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the country club pro

If I could keep it in the fairway, I'd be a happy man
I'm usually in the water, the rough or the sand
I pitch it to the green, thinking now I'm gonna score
But everybody ducks when my caddie yells, "FORE!"

18 holes, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
St Andrew don't you call me, 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the country club pro

Ocean side, sunny side, Tucson in the rain
Golf is my life, but it sure is a pain
I leave my wife and my kids 'cause I hear the call
Walking around a cursing at a little white ball

You play 18 holes, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
St Andrew don't you call me, 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the country club pro

Well, you may not believe it, 'cause this is how things are
My caddie's in the shack, my partner's in the bar
I started out a bum, I ended up a star
I shot 18 holes in one under par

You play 18 holes, what do you get
Another day older and deeper in debt
St Andrew don't you call me, 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the country club pro
Yeah...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: Artful Codger
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 05:11 PM

"The Golfer's Lament," written by Albert Hay Malotte, sung by John Charles Thomas. According to the Wikipedia entry on Malotte, it was used as the theme song for the Joe Kirkwood TV show "Let's Play Golf."

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,Denise
Date: 06 Jan 11 - 03:16 AM

The song was done by Jeb & Cousin Easy called The Golf Game , you can find it on www.youtube.com.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Dec 10 - 06:43 PM

See The Golf Game performed by Jeb and Cousin Easy. It's not a song, though; it's a comedy dialogue.

It's the thing Guest,Hoosier1123 was describing in this thread back on 03 May 2005.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Dec 10 - 04:41 PM

Disco Miniature Golfing Queen.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: Treacle Bolly
Date: 07 Dec 10 - 09:46 AM

I can't be the only one here who remembers "Golf Girl" by Caravan on their LP "In the Land of Grey and Pink", writen by Richard Sinclair:

Standing on a golf course dressed in PVC
I chanced upon a golf girl selling cups of tea
She asked me did I want one, asked me with a grin
For threepence you can buy one full right to the brim

So of course I had to have one, in fact I ordered three
So I could watch the golf girl and see she fancied me
And later on the golf course after drinking tea
It started raining golf balls and she protected me

Her name was Pat
And we sat under a tree
She kissed me
We go for walks
In fine weather
On the golf course
We talk in morse

By the way Caravan have just done a reunion concert in London, a few days ago, and it was filmed - for ITV, strangely !!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: Artful Codger
Date: 07 Dec 10 - 12:45 AM

Some famous humorist (Wodehouse?) quipped something like "Golf is a game where you yell 'Fore', score five and write down three."

Subject: Songs about golf: Swearin' On the Green
From: Genie
Date: 06 Dec 10 - 09:26 PM

Here's a parody: Swearin' On The Green

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Dec 10 - 09:24 PM

I remmember it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: Roger in Baltimore
Date: 04 May 05 - 10:38 AM

I couldn't resist noting that Loudon Wainwright III wrote "Golfin' Blues" and recorded on his "Final Exam" CD.

Roger in Baltimore

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs about golf
From: GUEST,HOOISER1123
Date: 03 May 05 - 11:26 PM

I'M TRYING TO FIND SOMEONE WHO REMEMBERS A 45 FROM APPROX.40 YEARS AGO CALLED THE GOLF GAME.THE FLIP SIDE OF THIS 45 PLAYED THE SONG BACKWARDS.
A SENTENCE I REMEMBER is:THAT'S STRETCHING A SHORT THING A LONG WAYS TO THROW IT OVER YOUR SHOULDER.
CAN YOU HELP?
THANKS

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Muttley
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 09:40 AM

Just located (noticed) this thread and I was going to offer a ditty my dad often used to sing to himself about: "The dirty little pill rolled over the hill; and rolled right into the bunker . . . " but someone beat me to it (Flash - as quick as the name suggests).

However. I do recall this lilting definition which I picked up from somewhere about a lifetime ago (when I actually played golf as a youngster): It goes

"GOLF - An ineffectual attempt to direct an uncontrollable sphere into an inaccessible hole with instruments ill-adapted to the purpose"

Interesting to note, too that the name golf is in fact an acronym of the original name / ethos of the game. The letters G.O.L.F. actually stood for (at the games' inception) Gentlemen Only; Ladies Forbidden.

Whichever way you paly it - it still comes out as George Bernard is credited as having described it: "A good walk ruined!"

Besides, the snobby course managers won't let me bring my two favourite clubs along - A Cricket bat and a Stihl chainsaw.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: GUEST,Curious Clouseau
Date: 20 Apr 05 - 06:16 AM

Would be much appreciated if you could transcribe it Severn :o)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Severn
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 05:22 PM

"Sunday Way Up Yonder" by the late Al Grierson involved a golf round played by no less than God, Himself. It's on "Things That Never Added Up To Me" which was issued first by the singer himself and later reissued by Folk Era. No lyric sheet in CD. Will transcribe if need be.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: GUEST,Curious Clouseau
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:13 AM

Has anyone got Oscar Brands "Songs For Golfers" transfered onto CDR?
If so could they e-mail me at gburns@(NOSPAM)iol.ie

Remove the (NOSPAM) from above.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 12:51 PM

From The Lester S. Levy Collection of Sheet Music:

OH! MISTER GALLAGHER AND MISTER SHEAN (1922), has one "chorus" about golf:

Oh! Mister Gallager-- Oh! Mister Gallager--
What's the name of that game they play on the links?
With a stick they knock the ball
Where you can't find it at all
Then the caddie walks around and thinks and thinks.
Oh! Mister Shean-- Oh! Mister Shean--
You don't even know a hazard from a green.
It's become a popular game
And you don't even know its name.
Sure it's croquette, Mister Gallagher.
No, lawn tennis, Mister Shean. Oh! Mister Shean.

Indiana University Sheet Music Collections lists this song in its index (but the sheet music isn't available online):

Title: PEACH OF A PAIR
Composer: Whiting, Richard A.
Lyricist: Marion Jr., George
Publisher: Famous Music Corp.
Place of publication: New York
Date of publication: 1930
Call Number: M1 .D48 Box: 075 Item: 012
Performance Medium: Piano, Voice and Chords
First Line: From life's golf bag when the going's tough, I choose you
Chorus First Line: The breeze across the fairway, the blossoms over there,
Genre: Popular song

Crazy Golf and Miniature Golf in Music lists these songs (but words and music are not available online):

SINCE MY WIFE TOOK UP MINIATURE GOLF c1930

I'VE GONE GOOFY OVER MINIATURE GOLF c1930

SINCE THEY'RE ALL PLAYING MINIATURE GOLF c1930

I'M PUT-PUT-PUTTIN' ON THE DINKY LINKS ALL DAY c1930

...and a few others.

allmusic lists lots of songs with "golf" in the title, but I haven't investigated whether any of them are good.

Subject: Lyr Add: MY HEART BELONGS TO DADDY (Cole Porter)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 12:46 PM

Not exactly about golf, but it mentions it:

MY HEART BELONGS TO DADDY
Cole Porter, 1938

While tearing off a game of golf,
I may make a play for the caddy;
But when I do, I don't follow though,
'Cause my heart belongs to Daddy.

If I invite a boy some night
To dine on my fine finnan haddie,
I just adore his asking for more,
But my heart belongs to Daddy.

Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy
So I simply couldn't be bad.
Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy,
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-Dad.
So I want to warn you, laddie,
Though I think you're perfectly swell,
That my heart belongs to Daddy,
'Cause my daddy he treats it so well.

If I invite a boy some night
To cook up a fine enchilada,
Though Spanish rice is all very nice,
My heart belongs to my dada.

[Recorded by Rosemary Clooney, Ella Fitzgerald, Helen Forrest, Eartha Kitt, Peggy Lee, Julie London, Mary Martin, Marilyn Monroe, Anita O'Day, Cole Porter, and many others.]

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: GUEST,Pj
Date: 06 Nov 04 - 12:31 PM

have a look at This guy

He has a few. MP3 samples on this site as well

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: allanwill
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 07:01 AM

I vaguely remember Loudon Wainwright 111 doing a song called (I think) The Golfing Song, which started something like:

I went down to the golf course
watching all the golfers golf.

Allan

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Nov 04 - 06:53 AM

Percy French song "No more o' yer golfin' for me" posted on a previous thread. Try searching under "golf".

weerover

Subject: Lyr Add: BIG ELLIE MAE (from Gaberlunzie)
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 04 - 04:42 PM

Big Ellie Mae

I'll tell you the story of Big Ellie Mae
She took up golf in a serious way
With her big ladies jumper and a new plastic bag
She could have passed for Jack Nicklaus in drag,

chorus

Toora loo toora lay
It's keep your head down boys and hammer away.

Now, Ellie was handicapped more than the rest
Her swing was impaired by the size of her chest
Her vital statistics became her downfall
When she swung they both swung
And they all missed the ball.

rep. chorus

Ellie decided they had too much scope
She tethered them up with a big piece of rope
But they didn't like being held in a noose
And the very next swing once again they broke loose.

rep chorus

In sheer desperation she went to the pro
He looked at Big Ellie and said "I don't know
I've only seen two that could swing like yours do
They were on a camel I saw in the zoo".

Toora loo...

This pointed remark at the poor girl's physique
made Ellie lash out in a great fit of pique
Her blow caught the pro in his most tender spot
Now he's got two just as big as she's got.
rep. chorus

to the tune of Sweet Betsy from Pike

I collected this one from Gaberlunzie in Scotland

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: GUEST,Barrie Roberts
Date: 04 Nov 04 - 04:18 PM

Mention of Frank Crumit reminds me that he recorded a song called 'The Grandson of Albul the Bilbul', the opening of which went:

On the links by the Bosphorus,
Near ancient Stanboul,
Down the fairways with nothing to fear,
Strode the greatest of pros
With the driverlike nose,
Count Abdul the Bulbul Amir.

One day to the clubhouse
There came a strange man,
From a land that was distant and far,
And his visiting card
Bore the name of the bard
Count Ivan Skovinski Skovar.

At which point my memory fails me, but in synopsis, the remainder tells how offence is given and taken between these two grandsons of the original great protagonists and a golf match instead of a battle takes place.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Lighter
Date: 03 Nov 04 - 04:47 PM

Oscar Brand wrote and recorded a whole album of humorous golf songs around 1963: "Songs FORE Golfers" (Elektra EKL 737/EKS 7237). You may be able to get a CD through his website.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 03 Nov 04 - 02:00 PM

Straight Down The Middle

CHEERS

Nigel (see you in the 19th!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 02:53 PM

Lyrics For Donald the Dub
Click Here

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: redhorse
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 01:57 PM

Frank Crumit song quoted by Flash Company is "Donald the Dub". My Mum had it on a 78

" I've broke more ground than Columbus found
and the person I am after
is the son of a Scot who invented the sport
that's robbed the world of laughter"

To the tune of The Girl I Left Behind Me

nick

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Mudlark
Date: 02 Nov 04 - 12:51 PM

Refresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Leadfingers
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 11:30 AM

Bing Crosby recorded 'Straight Down The Middle ' - At least I think that's what it was called .

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Flash Company
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 10:06 AM

Frak Crumit had a song, name of which I can't remember, but I've no doubt someone out there will have it, I recall one chorus as:-

Oh the dirty little pill went rolling down the hill
And it rolled right into a bunker,
From there to the green I took sixteen
And then, by gosh, I sunk her!

FC

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: masato sakurai
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 09:52 AM

I don't have any of these:

The Best Golf Songs Ever

The World's Funniest Golf Songs

Great Golf Hits: Golf Parodies of Classic Rock Songs

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Cool Beans
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 09:20 AM

There's a musical called "Golf" that played off-Broadway in New York and has been touring. Titles like "My Husband is Playing A Round."
They have a Web site where you can hear songs from the show. Go to www.golfthemusical.com
Oscar Brand recorded an album of humorous golf songs back in the days of LPs,. Don't know if or where it's available but I bet some Mudcatter has a copy.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: Snuffy
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 08:51 AM

And Then He Took Up Golf recorded by Frank Crumit

Subject: Lyr Req: Songs About Golf
From: GUEST,Curious Clouseau
Date: 01 Nov 04 - 07:06 AM

Anyone know the lyrics to any humorous or comical songs about golf?
There's a golfing outing in my local pub soon and im hoping to get a song to go with the occassion.