BS: Swinging

Subject: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,1ofuswouldliketo,theothersnotsosure
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:32 AM

swinging.. wife swapping.. playing with other couples;

call it what you like..

but have you ever.. do you now ?

so whats it like ?

any good ?

are folkies any more likely to, than any other social scene ?

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:35 AM

Basically, you're talking about fu#king someone other than your wife or husband. If one of you is really in need of getting laid by someone other than your spouse, then please go read the marriage thread. If you both don't agree, you are both fu#ked whether you both want to be fu#ked or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:38 AM

PS

Somebody's lawyer is going to have a field day with it in the divorce proceedings--by the sounds of it, anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:01 PM

stern stuff brucie..

is that learnt from bitter experience
of the swinging scene ?

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:03 PM

But if you look in the DT, there is a song about your dilema... it's called 'How can I keep from swinging'.


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: fat B****rd
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:13 PM

I only ever heard *** of one couple who did this, in "Mortgaged Suburbia". SHE was having a great time, HE was ignored by most of the "swinging" ladies. SHE is still alive. HE was fished out of the Thames. Maybe not as a direct result but it appears to have been the beginning of the end of their marriage.
Musically speaking, he was a Jazz fan who discevered and played me Country Joe, Love and The Airplane etc.
*** I heard this third hand but knowing the man I was saddened but notsurprized.
If yoiu're not sure DON'T

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: mack/misophist
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 12:17 PM

No. No. Don't know. Generally speaking, it seems a risky proposition. In many ways.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Once Famous
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:15 PM

Guest who started this thread:

Your marriage is obviously fucked up.

Get counseling or a quick divorce.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:20 PM

hello martin..

its no good coming back here after a few more drinks
and time to think about it..

to try to so obviously dis-associate yourself from starting this thread


we are all your friends and here to help

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Once Famous
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:31 PM

Guest, I don't drink.

I believe it is you who started this thread and came back because you see how fucked up everyone thinks you are for starting it.

Nice try, herpes breath.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:39 PM

maybe you should

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 01:47 PM

If you ever make love with someone you deeply love, and are spiritually one with, you'll realize that nothing can even vaguely approximate the beauty and excitement of committed love. In comparison, the activity you're considering would be like playing Beethoven's 5th on comb and wax paper.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 02:26 PM

I once went to a wife-swapping party. We all threw our car-keys in a bowl on the coffee-table. Just my luck - ended up borrowing a bloke's car for the night..................
Byee,
S:0)

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 03:19 PM

I ain't never been married yet so I never had the chance. I figger one day I will marry Shania Twain. I don't figger it would be right to cheat on Shania, eh? But I'm not sure what I would do if I was married to Shania and I was facin', like, really sevear temptation on a, like, daily basis.

That's a hard one. (no joke intended!)

I have cheated on a lotta girls, but they did, like, pretty much the same to me, eh? I figger it goes with the territory.

I also figger that the dork who started this thread is a flippin' idiot with the brains of a dead dog that just got f**ked to death by a millin' machine. But that's just my opinion, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Peace
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 03:53 PM

"stern stuff brucie..

is that learnt from bitter experience
of the swinging scene?"

Not at all Guest. I have known three couples who got involved with it. All three have had their marriages destroyed. It's one of those things that look good on paper--but don't work out all that well for most people. Sorry about the 'stern stuff'. Some issues--particularly ones in which I see someone about to do something really stupid--get my hackles up. This type of thing is one of 'em. If the writer has to ask, then he and she haven't agreed on the substance of the issue. IMO, their marriage will not survive the games.

For other people, it's something they incorporate into their lives and it's OK with them as a couple. That's cool by me, too. I am not making a moral judgement; I am making a call from what I have seen happen to others. Truthfully, it's none of my business. However, after it's posted, it becomes my business--just as it becomes everybody else's.

BM

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,tried it
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 04:59 PM

I am male. I have been married twice with each marriage being open. I have had several girlfriends, and on several occasions indulged in brief 'swinging' incidents in each marriage. The breakup of my 1st marriage was unrelated to these incidents. I can testify that it can work, but requires complete honesty and trust. It is way to easy for fun to give way to obsession, or for one partner to fall in love with someone new and have serious conflicts. My first wife had several other occasional relationships, my current wife only one.

My wife has met and is comfortable with several women that I have had relationships with. I do not seek out these situations, I just do not automatically deny attractions when they happen. Also, the rule is that my wife always has veto power over any particular plan, date or person, though I have never yet picked anyone that she did not approve of. One time, when a relationship later got too complicated because the woman was single and wanted too much of my time, we ended it.

If anyone thinks they want to try it, they should sit down and block out the rules, and then adhere to those rules very strictly. Some people have the ability to share partners or use freedom wisely, some do not. You can enhance your life, or mess up your life. If in any doubt, don't try it.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Terry Allan Hall
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 05:11 PM

Can't say I've ever been interested...my wife is the only woman I want to share intimacy with, and she feels the same about me...this works for us. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 05:14 PM

I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off me, you two!"

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 07:11 PM

Clear definitions are important. Someone asked me how many wives I'd had, and I really had to ask, "You mean, my own?"

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 07:17 PM

Had a nice tire swing when I was a kid...

Nevermind.

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 07:17 PM

(gee, I hope I didn't get that joke from mudcat originally)

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 07:22 PM

*grin*...looks like humor is outpacing the serious answers! To be expected, I guess...

to answer the original question...if one is 'not so sure', that oughta make the decision easy. It would be very dangerour to pressure your partner in such matters.

and folkies MORE likely? Nawww... read the papers. Everyone from laborers to British Royality seems to get tempted. It's just that they don't all sing songs about it like folkies do!

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 07:28 PM

Southern evangelicals, as well, if you put faith in poll results. Newer genetic studies have also confirmed that birds, do it, bees do it, even though traditonal investigators hadn't picked up on it.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jan 05 - 08:03 PM

'some' birds do it...some birds mate for life..*shrug*...hard to know why..some mammals are quite promiscuous, others are not. I'm seeing more & more to convince me that a lot of it is genetic.

Subject: ADD: The Mistress (Robbie O'Connell)
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 08:14 AM

This thread, and particularly this comment:

My wife has met and is comfortable with several women that I have had relationships with

reminded me of a song I heard Naemanson sing when he was out here in Oz just over a year ago. It just goes to show you never know what might happen:

The Mistress

"I'd like to have a mistress," I told my wife one day
"To help me through the middle years, it would suit a man my age"
And to my great astonishment, she never said a word
She just looked at me as if to say "Now don't be so absurd."
"I'd like to have a mistress, no more than twenty one
With a figure like a goddess, it would keep me feeling young.
She'd make me tea in the afternoon, served on a silver tray
Dressed only in her birthday suit or a skimpy neglige."

"I'd like to have a mistress, who was tender young and chic,
We'd make love in the afternoons, maybe once or twice a week.
I'd leave the office early and I'd go round to her flat
We'd always have champagne on ice as we'd take a bubble bath.
I'd like to have a mistress who would know just what to do
She'd have read the Perfumed Garden and the Kama Sutra too
And the more I think about it, the more I think it wise "
My wife just looked at me and said, "Why don't you advertise?"

"I'd like to have a mistress," so ran the ad next day
"The work is light, the hours are short and we can discuss the pay"
I waited by the phone all day but I got just one reply
When she came round for an interview I could not believe my eyes
At last I had a mistress who was every dream come true
She was sexy, blond and beautiful, 'though she was twenty-two
My wife gave her approval, she didn't seem to mind
I hardly could believe my luck, they hit it off just fine.

It was nice to have a mistress, it seemed so civilized
It gave a touch of spice to life, there was always some surprise
But then one afternoon, I found a note upon her door
Saying our affair was over, she'd not see me anymore
I'd like to have a mistress who'd be a little more content
And not go running off on me, not saying where she went
One I could rely on, who would stay with me through life
And not leave me with a note to say she ran off with my wife.

---

Note: Words and Music, Robbie O'Connell © 1988
Slievenamon Music (BMI)
From recording: Never Learned to Dance - Green Linnet, GLCD 1124

Gotta give credit where credit is due.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,DMG
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:12 AM

Back in the late eighties, my wife and I joined such a group accidentally. At the time, we needed a baby sitting circle and it was only some months later that we discovered what everyone else was up to when we baby sat for them. All was revealed (so to speak) when the group as whole had a party.

Being dull and boring people, we left without entering into the spirit of the thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:38 AM

One of the profs at Northern Illinois U. when I was there wrote a book called "Group Sex." On the whole he was in favor of it, but his caveat was "Do NOT do it unless your marriage is extremely strong AND both of you want to."

I've never known a marriage that survived it, and I've known several couples who engaged in it. We haven't and have no interest in doing so.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 09:54 AM

I swan!! Joining a partner-swapping ring by ACCIDENT!! I never heard the like!! LOL


A

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Peace
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 10:42 AM

So, there I was stark naked in the swimming pool . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 10 Jan 05 - 11:08 AM

I was thinkin' back about the family, eh? I had an uncle or a great uncle I think or somethin' like that back in the 1800s and he had to swing!

It was because he kilt his wife and the next door neighbor and 2 cops with a 12 gage. All on the same day. They swang him off a big oak tree right near where it all happened, eh?

So, like, I don't recomend swingin' cos it can lead to an early death.

- BDiBR

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: open mike
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 12:15 AM

i heard that this movie is about that subject..
i also heard that the people who wrote "Open Marriage"
are no longer....married.

Web         Results 1 - 10 of about 223,000 for bob carol ted alice. (
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice (1969)
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice - Cast, Crew, Reviews, Plot Summary, Comments, Discussion, Taglines, Trailers, Posters, Photos, Showtimes, Link to Official Site, Fan ...www.imdb.com/title/tt0064100/
    www.imdb.com/Title?0064100
    [ More results from www.imdb.com ]

Amazon.com: DVD: Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice, Paul Mazursky, Natalie Wood, Robert Culp, Elliott Gould, Dyan Cannon, Horst Ebersberg, Lee Bergere, Donald F. Muhich, Noble Lee ...
www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ tg/detail/-/B00030GPWE?v=glance
    www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/6303257194/
   

Bob & Carol, Ted & Alice
... who wasn't around at the time to believe that Paul Mazursky's directorial debut was as controversial as it was, but Bob & Carol, Ted & Alice created something...www.classicsondvd.com/bobcaroltedalice.htm

MSNBC - 'Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice' is classic Mazurzky
... 'Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice' is classic Mazurzky. ... Get in bed with a friend –or friends — and check out "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.". ...
www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6338089/ - 32k - 9 Jan 2005 -

Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice - TV Series - TV Tome
TV Tome is your reference guide to Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice.
Episode guide, cast and crew info ... Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. ...
www.tvtome.com/tvtome/ servlet/ShowMainServlet/showid-99/ -

DVD Review: Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice - Elites TV - Your Elite ...
DVD Review: Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice. Directed by: Paul Mazursky. Produced by: Larry Tucker. ... "Tales of Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice" trailers..www.elitestv.com/pub/2004/Dec/EEN41c323c9a3148.html


Movie Market (UK) - Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice memorabilia
Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice posters, photographs and other memorabilia available
to buy online. ... Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice links. Bob ...
www.moviemarket.co.uk/Bob__Carol__Ted__Alice_T100782/ -



or you can google and find about 12,000,000 listings for open marriage

or you might see what these folks are up to:
Seattle Poly Potlucks and Discussions: Polyfidelity, Group/Open ...
... The reasons people choose not to get married are varied, and range from simple to complex. ... The Alternatives to Marriage Project is open to everyone ...
www.scn.org/~spg/

Polyamory-Related Books -- Open Marriage
Click on Book Titles to Purchase via Amazon Books. Open Marriage. Nena O'Neill George O'Neill. M. Evans & Co. Open Marriage is truly a landmark book. ...
www.polychromatic.com/openmar.html



Polyfidelity groups and resources. Poly Family and
Parenting Resouces: "Poly Parent" (low volume discussion list). ...
www.polyfidelity.org/

or perhaps the Mormon experience of polygamy would be of interest?

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: LadyJean
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 12:48 AM

I had friends who had an open marriage. He was the one who asked for it. She was the one who got all the offers. Their marriage fell apart miserably. She is remarried, very happily and very monogamously. He is on his own, and I think he misses his wife.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 01:07 AM

Jaysus, BDiBR, work on the language, will ya?

"They swang him off a big oak tree . . .". They didn't SWANG him, they SWUNG-ED him.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Cluin
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 03:30 PM

My friend Olie insists it is "svunk".

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 05:53 PM

Careful, Bruce. Shane is sensitive about that sort of thing. He had a deprived childhood, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: Peace
Date: 11 Jan 05 - 05:55 PM

Oh, yeah, tell him I am sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Swinging
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Jan 05 - 01:11 PM

I've always liked the idea of it, and reckon the mrs
would probably enjoy it even more than me.
But what mostly puts me off trying is fear of the risk of diseases,
the bloody silly and uncomfortable looking fetish clothing that seems to be obligatory at swingers parties..
and no desire whatsoever to get into such close proximity
with other mens hairy arses, wedding tackle, and ejaculate.

apart from that, its still a good fantasy on a dreary thankless day
at work.