BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...

Subject: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:05 PM

I think so, except when the BS is a war crime, as defined by the Nuremberg Trials and the Geneva Convention and the Hague Convention and stuff like that.

Whatcha think?

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 10:19 PM

I think yer startin' tuh ask some tuff questions here, Rap.

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:42 PM

Dunno about war crimes, but BS definitely should be exempt from "wart" crimes. So what's a "wart" crime? I have no idea. This is a BS thread isn't it? Why should it make sense?

BS should also be exempt from:

"Warf crimes" - Crimes committed by a Klingon spaceship officer

"Warp crimes" - Crimes committed while that same spaceship is traveling at faster-than-light speeds

"Warg crimes" - Crimes committed by large very ugly wolfy things that like to eat little guys with hairy toes

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Peace
Date: 31 Jan 05 - 11:44 PM

"Crimes committed while that same spaceship is traveling at faster-than-light speeds"

And just TRY pinning the time down on THAT one.

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 08:32 AM

Hmmm...with FTL you'd go back in time. Is BS or anything else a crime if you commit it before it happens?

And what happens to intent? I mean, you gotta intend to do something before it is a crime, right? So if I do something before I intend to do it, is it still a crime? Like, I plug Ol' Zeke, just fill him so fulla lead that he sinks plumb through the floor, at 8 o'clock, but because I'm traveling FTL I don't intend to do anything except keep soppin' up nose paint with him until 10, when I draw down on him.

In fact, I musta shot Zeke two hours before I pulled out my shootin' iron! And if I did that, who the hell was I drinkin' with for those two hours? If Zeke went upstairs to see Alice at 9 o'clock and he got her in the family way, would he be the father? Or would the kid even exist, considerin' that I plugged Zeke an hour or so earlier? And how would Alice prove paternity, since Zeke was an hour dead when she caught?

Dang, but that Bee-Dubya-Ell kin make life hell for lawyers!

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Crystal
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 08:43 AM

But would you go baclk in time? surely with FTL your atoms would end up spread across a billion different dimensions as you travelled at 90 degrees across all of them and the human body just isn't designed to go that fast.

And does your existing in a billion different dimensions at once mean you could be put on trial for the intent to comitt an offence in all of them or only the one in which you intended to offend?

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:00 AM

Plus, even if we get round that little problem, your bullets don't. You fire, and now both you and your bullets are travelling FTL, and so will not interact with your victim. You have to slow your bullets down, to slower than light (STL), with all the problems noted above , and the fact the bullets will achive infinite mass, and so given a finite initial kinetic energy, will stop at light speed.
There is an answer to all thes problems, but it's a secret. See below.....

























   Magic!



Bunnahabhain

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 09:04 AM

Suppose I do shoot Ol' Zeke right at the Blue Event Horizon?

Besides, my bullets would still be at FTL and a bit faster, just like if I shot them off while riding in an airplane.

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Crystal
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:12 AM

I'm pretty sure the bullets would end up in atoms as well, see above.

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 10:48 AM

Nah! You can't use bullets to commit warp crimes because of the relativistic paradoxes to which allusion has already been made. Nor can you use a bow and arrow, a slingshot or a blowgun. And even if you could, just thinking about all those relativistic paradoxes would give you a headache and upset your constitution so severely you'd never be able to actually do the dirty deed.

Here is a brief list of weapons with which warp crimes can be committed with no violation of Dr. Einstein's basic tenets and no nausea induced by having to think too much:

Dental floss
A 3 foot length of 2"x4"
An epee
A dirk
A spading fork
A Calton or Anvil guitar case (Martin thermoplastic cases make lousy weapons.)
A fiddle bow
A brick (though only if used strictly as a bludgeon, not as a projectile)
The baldheaded end of a broom (Well, I suppose you could beat someone to death with the hairy end of a broom but it'd take eons. But, what the heck? What's a few eons between enemies when you're travelin' at FTL speeds and all your molecules are already spread out over 197 dimensions in 12 universes?)

I'll quit now. I feel a headache coming on.

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 11:42 AM

Okay, I don't shoot Ol' Zeke. I dump arsenic, strychnine, thallium, warfarin, dioxin, Librium, and lye in his whiskey and croak him with pizzen. He couldn't taste that stuff in the whiskey he drinks anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:24 PM

Well, the inorganic poisions will work fine, but not so sure about the others. As you push the organic ones across light speed, they may well switch to another isomer, and so lose their effect.

Of course, if you fail to keep the spin field constant, all of the atoms will convert to antimatter, and so when they make contact with the whisky, will release some energy.

Lets assume you use a subtle dose of these poisons

100mg

And they make contact with the same amount of mass in the whisky

total 200 mg

assuming the same mass efficiency as a modern nuclear weapon.

5%

4mg destroyed

E= MC^2

= 4*10^-6 * 9*10^16

= 3.6 * 10^11 joules

Is equivilent to 10 tonnes TNT, IIRC

Of course, an antimatter detonation may have an efficieny of 100%,
pushing the yield up to

200 tonnes TNT


Better be careful with that stuff, stronger than it looks...


Bunnahabhian

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 12:51 PM

I wonder if, in The Crimean war, they were exempt from BS...?

Subject: RE: BS: Should BS be exempt from war crimes?...
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Feb 05 - 01:18 PM

Not if "BS" stands for "British Soldiers"...