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BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea

GUEST,12 string stan 11 Feb 05 - 02:32 PM
gnu 11 Feb 05 - 02:42 PM
PeteBoom 11 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM
gnu 11 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM
gnu 11 Feb 05 - 03:02 PM
Teresa 11 Feb 05 - 03:10 PM
gnu 11 Feb 05 - 03:19 PM
Teresa 11 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM
gnu 11 Feb 05 - 03:56 PM
gnu 11 Feb 05 - 03:59 PM
GUEST,leeneia 11 Feb 05 - 11:29 PM
Teresa 11 Feb 05 - 11:32 PM
Kaleea 11 Feb 05 - 11:41 PM
Bert 12 Feb 05 - 12:59 AM
Boab 12 Feb 05 - 01:19 AM
Cluin 12 Feb 05 - 01:20 AM
The Fooles Troupe 12 Feb 05 - 02:17 AM
gnu 12 Feb 05 - 06:16 AM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 05 - 07:21 AM
GUEST,12 STRING STAN 12 Feb 05 - 10:45 AM
gnu 12 Feb 05 - 02:04 PM
GUEST,12 string stan 12 Feb 05 - 02:28 PM
McGrath of Harlow 12 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM
The Fooles Troupe 12 Feb 05 - 07:38 PM
Les in Chorlton 13 Feb 05 - 05:04 AM
GUEST,Giok 13 Feb 05 - 07:58 AM
GUEST,McGrath of Harlow 13 Feb 05 - 11:38 AM
GUEST,leeneia 13 Feb 05 - 02:08 PM
gnu 13 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM
Mr Red 13 Feb 05 - 08:28 PM
Stu 14 Feb 05 - 04:31 AM

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Subject: BS: "revolutionary" Bodhran sticks
From: GUEST,12 string stan
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:32 PM

People. I stand befor you today with an idea.
i propose to set up a company making "revolutionary" Bodhrahn sticks.
My idea is thus

To produce finely turned playing devices, decorated on each end with stanley blades, broken glass, razors etc., and for a slight extra cost, you may have these decorations extended the full length of the stick. They would be priced very reasonably to entice people to buy them as presents to give, and share the joy, and whats more, for every lacerated goatskin, or severed finger sent back to me, i will give you a FULL REFUND (and another stick)
I currently supply hungry woodworms, so this is a step up the ladder

Any interest?

:o}


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:42 PM

It's been done... many, many, many times.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: PeteBoom
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM

Legs of barstools work much, much faster...


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM

What's the only proper way to play a bodhrán?

With an open penknife.
(This, the primordial bodhrán joke, is the responsibility of Seamus Ennis)


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What do you call a groupie who hangs around annoying session musicians?

A bodhrán player.
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What is the difference between a bodhrán player and a terrorist?

Terrorists have sympathisers.
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What do bodhrán players use for birth control?

Their personalities.
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How do you know when there is a bodhrán player at your front door ?

The knocking gets faster and faster and faster...
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Why do bodhrán players find it difficult to enter a room ?

They never know when to come in.
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What's the difference between a bodhrán and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.
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Bodhrán care is simple... Rub gently with lighter fluid and ignite.

(provided by Ed Dale; attributed to Seán O'Riada)
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Then of course there was the fiddle player who, while visiting the local pub, was asked for a dollar to help pay for the funeral of a local bodhrán player.

"Here's two dollars;" he says "bury another."
(courtesy [if that's the right word] of Ed Dale)


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What is the difference between a dead bodhran player lying in the road and and a dead rabbit lying in the road?

The rabbit might have been on it's way to a gig.


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Is a bodhrán-player a musician?

Is a barnacle a ship?
(courtesy of Paul Nicolaides)


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Why is a bodhran player like a foot massage?

A foot massage bucks up the feet, whereas...
(courtesy of Bernard Argent, on IRTRAD-L)


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What do you call a bodhrán player with a broken wrist?

A huge improvement.
(courtesy of John Birtwistle, on IRTRAD-L, attributed to the Chippenham session)


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What have a bodhrán player and a sperm got in common?

One chance in a million of ever becoming a human being!
(courtesy of Beverley Whelan, on IRTRAD-L, attributed to the Inverkeilor session)


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Collective noun: A skinful of bodhráns.

(reported on rec.music.celtic by Marcus Turner)
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Best things to do with a bodhrán:
Set fire to the hoop and make the player jump through it.
Roll it over a cliff into the ocean.
Nail soup can lids around the rim and use it as a tambourine.
(from rec.music.celtic, 7/95)
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Define an optimist.

A bodhrán player with a beeper.
(courtesy of Jim McGill; but Ken Larson says I just thought I'd mention that I got two bodhrán gigs last week through my pager... So there, Nyagh!!!)


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How is pre-mature ejaculation like a bodhrán solo?

You know perfectly well what's about to happen, but you can't do a thing about it.
(courtesy of Tommy Hayes)


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What do you get when you murder a bodhránist with his own beater?

Tipper Gore.
(Submitted anonymously, no doubt to avoid reprisals)


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What's the difference between a bodhran player and a drum machine?

You only have to punch the rhythm into the drum machine once.
(donated by Chris Pitts)


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Why do men make better bodhran players than women?

Because they have already mastered the wrist movement.
(posted on rec.music.celtic by Tracy Reith)


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What's the difference between a bodhran and an onion?

Most people cry when they cut up an onion.
(from Kirk Witmer)


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Customer: I'd like to buy a guitar, please.
Shop Assistant: You're a bodhran player, aren't you?
Customer: How did you know that?
Shop Assistant: This is a fish and chip shop.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:02 PM

Oops... courtesey of The Bodhran Page. Hran on !!!


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Teresa
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:10 PM

Oh ... whew ... so this is another case of the target coming up with the best jokes about themselves. I was getting tetchy, because I happen to like bodrans. :D

Uh-oh, should I run for my life now? :)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:19 PM

Don't worry. Us Hranners are used to the crap. Just try to get the spelling right. Although, it's not necessary for the accent. Most people don't know how to à. If it gets real nasty, we just get Gino Lupari to make 'em an offer they can't refuse.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Teresa
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

woops; can't play one but I can write bodhran .. the a grave is not very accessible on this keyboard. :)

Teresa


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:56 PM

Hehehe. 'Tis the opposite actually. But I don't know how either.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 03:59 PM

That would be Gino Lupari of Four Men and a Dog. His tune "Wrap it up" is a Hran tune of note. Comical as heck. And his drumming on that tune is nothing short of amazing.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:29 PM

All this snobbery coming from a guy called 12string stan? Something is definitely wrong here.

Somebody who plays an instrument which sounds like a cross between a ukelele and an electric fan has no right to criticize a sexy instrument like the bodhran.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Teresa
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:32 PM

Oh dear. There's room for anything that makes music, isn't there?


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Kaleea
Date: 11 Feb 05 - 11:41 PM

I was at a large acoustic Music festival not too many moons ago, jammin with a couple hundred of my closest friends amidst a medly of several Irish tunes. A fellow came up to me & seemed to be really "into" my Bodhran tippin'. Between tunes, he attempted to ply me with a charming line I've not heard before, or since. "Wow, your drum playing is so, . . . so. . .primal! It really turns me on!"
   Yes, this really did happen, & no, I was not charmed.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Bert
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 12:59 AM

To tell the truth I never really thought too much about bodhrans either way - until I heard Seamus Kennedy play one. Now I think they are great!


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Boab
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:19 AM

Problem with bohrans---they're so damn' easy to HIT! The root of their persistent unpopularity with twangers and tootlers is the sad fact that bodhran HITTERS outnumber bodhran PLAYERS by --easily--- ten to one. An old acquaintance , Iain Mackintosh, used to survey the audience, pick out the bodhran cases, and say menacingly--" Tak' that thing oot it's case, an' A'll hae ye wearin' it like a horse-collar!"
Och---he was a decent guy, really----I think---


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Cluin
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 01:20 AM

Ah, hear it now... the lament of the lowly bodhraneer echoin' thro' the glens:



"I AM playin' a feckin' jig time!"


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 02:17 AM

Plunk your magic twanger and play with your balls, kids...


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 06:16 AM

Boab said it. I've even been chided for NOT playing on some tunes which I feel the Hran has no right being a part of. Some tunes just do not lend themselves to a drum. If you do join in, it's just "hitting", no matter how well you can play. One evening, in a church basement, in front of five hundred or so, I turned my mic off for the last tune. Nobody, including the fiddler and both guitar players, knew the difference.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 07:21 AM

And just to show that bodhrans get around...


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: GUEST,12 STRING STAN
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 10:45 AM

LEENEIA: I note your observation, i must clarify myself. I used to play a 12 string louden, wich earned me my nick name in the pubs, but a year ago, at a house, er gathering for want of a word, i cleverly lent it against the coffee table, to have it acidentally knocked (by a f***ing bodhran player incidentally) and split the neck from head to heel. louden would only re new the neck, way too many €, so a luthier very nicely repaired it, but i had to drop the tuning because of the tension, and it basically died. I sold it :o(
I now play a 6string 1970's martin d1, beut, and would never go back to 12 string. I have a gibson banjo also, but if i called myself martin gibson some one else who may have the same name may get a teensy bit p***ed off, and we wouldn't like that now would we
Back to Bodhrans................


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 02:04 PM

You should never place your instrument near anyone fucking, especially a Hran player... we all know how they go faster and faster.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: GUEST,12 string stan
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 02:28 PM

hardi har


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 02:43 PM

Get a pub prop, Stan.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Feb 05 - 07:38 PM

"You should never place your instrument near anyone fucking, especially a Hran player..."

You really meant

"You should never place your instrument near fucking anyone, especially a Hran player..."

didn't you...


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Les in Chorlton
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 05:04 AM

My mate Bill plays his Bodhran very sensitively.

And I am very proud of that sentence!

But thingy (no mames) causes me deep primal fear. Is it a bit like our fear of spiders and snakes? They did serious damage to our very distant ancestors. Bad Bodhran playing carries that same fear.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: GUEST,Giok
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 07:58 AM

A couple of hundred of your closest friends?????


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: GUEST,McGrath of Harlow
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 11:38 AM

Another idea would be a beater incorporating a small pressure sensitive detonator, which would only go off if it were used too vigorously.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 02:08 PM

Sorry to hear about the loss of your 12-string, stan. It's awful to lose a good instrument.

gnu - you mean you play the bodhran with a mic? Doesn't that overwhelm the other instruments?

PS I'm not really a Guest.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: gnu
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 02:55 PM

Actually, I don't. I just turned off the mic picking up my Hran. It's kinda hard to play to a large crowd without amplification. No ?

However, if I was to mic my Hran, I would follow the advice found here : http://www.ceolas.org/instruments/bodhran/miking.shtml


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 08:28 PM

One thing about a man in red fishing-out two red bodhrans at a session is that however well you play (taken as a given) their expectations are always exceeded.

I have a new beater, well an old one with a new twist - literally. I embedded half a ball-ended allen key in it so I can use that new twist to tune-up.

I tune 'cos I care.


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Subject: RE: BS: Revolutionary Bodhran stick idea
From: Stu
Date: 14 Feb 05 - 04:31 AM

A banjo player slagging off bodhran players? Superb.


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