BS: My TV's broke again!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: mandoleer
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 08:15 PM

Forgot to mention the great Dr Andy Kershaw as well... Except when he's playing that damned 'Wait for me Jesus' track. I'd sooner listen to 'Amarillo' than that - and that's really saying something.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: mandoleer
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 08:11 PM

Martin, we haven't got WalMart over here (OK, they own ASDA, but that ain't the same thing). And if I did buy one, I'd have to get a licence. Last one I had cost £85 or so, and I only watched four hours that year. Two of which were on someone else's set anyway. I can think of better ways of getting entertainment at £40 for an hour.... Take time to find music on the cable? Cable costs more, and we don't have it in my part of town anyway. Pamela Anderson? Looked better BT (before tits). Naah, I'll stick to BBC Radio 3 (try Late Junction - available on the BBC website - or Mixing It - ditto - apart from the classical stuff) and live sessions and other such.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: tarheel
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 09:26 AM

Throw it out the door and Count your Blessings!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Apr 05 - 06:50 AM

Little Hawk

I see that you (like me!) prefer The Real Thing in Real Life!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 08:29 PM

No.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Mooh
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 01:25 PM

Should be covered by health insurance. After all, it's like a member of the family. Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 11:52 AM

TV's don't seem to cost very much. If the problem continues, do this:

1. Do without TV for a while and see if you don't like life better without it.

2. If you really miss it, get another one. Just don't spend a huge amount of money on one of those giant TV's. They seem to be mere status symbols.

I don't watch TV. It's not because I'm an effete snob. It's because the constant noise and occasional over-fast movement get on my nerves.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 12 Apr 05 - 07:42 AM

Well you apparently know all about it Martin.

I can't - we don't get HBO on free to air in Aus - and I can't afford cable. It is just as overpriced relative to the USA as Broadband is.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:22 PM

Do you watch "Real Sex" on HBO?

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Burke
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 08:09 PM

Seems like your complaint applies to more than Sept. 11, the wedding, the funeral. Isn't it like that most days? I wouldn't know. I have a TV but don't watch it much.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: John Hardly
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 07:56 PM

Ha ha ha ha!! What a bunch of total idiots we all are! My you had a good one on us!!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 07:17 PM

Well, as predicted, Martin missed just what the thread was about...

He wasn't the only one.

I think I won the bet!

Thank you all for participating in another
'Fooles Troupe Social Engineering Study Project'

You now know whether you passed or failed the Comphrension Test!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Once Famous
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 03:45 PM

I would suggest that you go down to Wal-Mart and get a goo deal on any new TV. They are all made in Asia you know and you can probably get a good Sony or Panasonic.

You are missing a lot of good music that if you look hard enough, can be found on cable or PBS.

Don't be an effete snob who claims here that they don't watch TV and then goes off to watch something with Pamela Anderson in it.

Be a real American. OK?

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: mandoleer
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 03:34 PM

My TV isn't broke again - it's still broke after about five or six years. Mind you, it mightn't be worth fixing. Even though it has got a spare channel. It's got buttons for BBC1, BBC2, ITV and it's got A SPARE BUTTON! Just in case they get more stations, I suppose. It's performing a very useful function, though. Got two bromeliady things on the top. If I threw it out, I'd have to put a shelf up.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:50 AM

Ahhhhhhhhh. In that case mine must be broke all the time:-) Never anything on any channel but how to decorate houses...

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:42 AM

You missed the point entirely.

My TV broke on Boxing Day too...

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:27 AM

I've got it! You're missing the Count on Sesame Street:-)

(14-4-1 Does two +'s from one person count?)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:20 AM

14 - 3 - 1

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:12 AM

's funny - Ours packed in last night! Most annoyed till I found out the receipt was dated June 2002 and Asda (AKA WalMart UK:-) ) give a 3 year warranty. Yipee!

Cheers

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:09 AM

Actually, Emma, your post was closer on topic than most others... :-)


ROFL

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Emma B
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:06 AM

lol Robin - don't count me in.....

off thread (well almost) a very elderly great aunt's TV broke down after many years faithful companionship. We clubbed togather to buy her a brand new modern one. When she appeared considerably less than pleased with the gift questioning her resulted in her informing us that the programmes on the old one were much better!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:04 AM

!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 09:00 AM

Funny but all the TV sets in Cork early on Saturday afternoon seemed to have the same problem as Robin's !! All seemed to have exactly the same thing on !!

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 01:53 AM

Fourteen - One - One Totally Off Topic.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Apr 05 - 01:19 AM

LOL Good one.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: John Hardly
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 08:38 PM

"Can you turn that down!?" Eve said from across the room.

Ed gently leaned his guitar against the wall and made his way over to the TV. But even as he started to lean over and adjust the volume control...
...it suddenly wasn't enough.

Muttering to himself, "For every commercial I've endured – many over and over and over.... – and always at that annoying heightened volume level to make sure I can hear it from the kitchen with the 'fridge door open! Always telling me of the wonders of the latest product that I need to make me happy -- I've bought 'em.....they didn't.

And with that, he reached around behind the TV, and with a jerk on the cord, pulled the plug on the set.

That felt a little better.....but not much.

The TV was quite an armful as Ed hefted it up from its stand. With a few grunts, and opening doors with a shove of the hip, he finally managed to get the thing out to the garage workbench.

A plan was brewing.

He looked around the shop for some rope but finding none, his eyes rested on the 50 ft. orange extension cord hanging from the peg rack. "That's appropriate." says he.

With great deliberation, as one might put into a ceremony, Ed proceeded to turn one end of the extension chord into a noose. After trying every which way to get the noose to stay put around the TV, he finally found that he could kinda wedge the protruding picture tube from the back through the noose twice and, with the TV entirely circled with cord, it was now secure.....enough.

Ed, by now sweating just a bit with the labor of it all, hauled the huge TV into his large back yard and half set, half dropped it on an old wooden chair at the foot of a big ol' oak that grew there. Throwing the loose end of the extension cord over a big branch, and then securing it to the tree trunk, he said, " ...and here's for every mindless PSA re-informing me either what I already learned in kindergarten, or what common sense taught me almost from the time I could first talk. I don't need some Government or corporate expenditure to remind me of the obvious --- and God save me from the TV viewers who do!". And with that he kicked the chair out from under the TV and left it to dangle there – hanging until dead.

.....'cept it wasn't dead, and Ed knew it. And Ed wasn't through...
...the TV didn't know that.

Ed pulled on the extension cord to raise the TV up a few feet. He then walked over to the nearby firewood pile and got a few armfuls of kindling and wood and stacked it under the dangling TV. With one more trip to the garage for some kerosene and matches, he was now prepared to finish the task.

As he lit the match to throw on the kerosene soaked wood pile, he shouted, "And for teaching my kids to, like, talk, like.....whatever...." he said in his best adolescent impersonation (which admittedly wasn't very good). "I'm not going to take it anymore! This is for teaching a whole generation of over sexed, over violent, over entertained youth that there's no difference between smart and smart-aleck........but infinitely worse, that there's no difference between fame.....and infamy!" he said. And with increasing anger in his voice he continued, "And for choosing your right to speak over the good judgement to shut the hell up from time to time!!".

As he watched the fire slowly disfigure the plastic parts as they curled and buckled slightly, he felt moved to be a little more active in the TV's demise. This watching thing was too passive. Ed retreated to the house and quickly returned with his 12 gauge and upon loading the single cartridge into the chamber took aim. As he did he shouted, " ...and for stealing the reality of life and replacing it with spectating! For every game watched...and not played. For causing me to forfeit my own creative potential – as well as the potential of my own creativity – to the expression of another's.....way too much of the time!" At that, his shoulder was kicked back with the force of the shell blast. And the glassy screen of the dangling TV all but disappeared, leaving a jagged crown in a mal-formed plastic frame.

But Ed was just getting warmed up.

He untied the TV from its mooring on the tree trunk and with a few swings to put it wide of the still burning fire, he let it fall crashing to the ground. He then dragged the TV carcass, cord and all and tied the cord to the bumper of the old pickup truck he used for gathering firewood.

He still had some things to say like, "For the Sunday morning talking heads who parade their professional liars week after week, giving them a forum for their manipulations until meaning has lost all, well..... meaning! And for foisting your pretty-boy presidential candidates on a public too ready to listen with their eyes....catering to people's desire for a symbol not a substance, an image rather than a reality!" This he shouted out the truck's open window as he proceeded to drag what was left of the TV behind the truck, over the uneven ground of the pasture behind his house.

When the extension cord noose finally let go of the TV, and the TV came to rest appropriately on a pile of cow manure, Ed slowly drove back to the house, and parked the truck. He then walked back in, calmed and refreshed, picked his guitar back up and started playing again.

"I meant the guitar." said Eve. "Can you turn that guitar down?!"

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 08:15 PM

Thirteen - One.
















(But just WHAT is he counting?).....    ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 11:27 AM

Television sets have existed for most of my life, but I have never owned one. About 40 years ago, I was tempted. I saw one in a catalog that was small enough to fit on a closet shelf. I thought, I'll take it out only when it promises to behave. The mailorder house told me that model had been discontinued, but they'd send me the next bigger one at the same price. I said no.

A while ago, I visited, with a friend, the ex-girlfriend of one of his coworkers. The TV was yapping, and she said there hadn't been anything on worth watching all day. I asked her why she didn't turn it off, and she gave me an eloquent "What planet did you come from" look. Another time, I more or less slept with a man who couldn't get to sleep if the TV wasn't on.

Five hours a day, on average! It's an addiction. Personally, I'd rather be a drunk or a junkie. There'd be more dignity in it.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: You shall love your crooked neighbor With your crooked heart. :||

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Severn
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 10:12 AM

I use my TV, but primarily for things of true interest to me that I have to use other machines to inject into the TV with. You can never completely escape being programmed in this day and age, so one of the only true freedoms, sad to say is to program yourself. Sometimes you've got to use media against itself, but unless you're a hermit with a secure job hermetically sealing envelopes or something and don't have to bother with the world, you've got to use it sometime.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 08:30 AM

OK, thanks - I lost count Doug...

So that's now Eleven ... plus One.... or should I count that as a minus for you Doug?

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 04:52 AM

Eleven. ???

Surley that last one should have been "ten" Foolestroupe, or have I lost count?

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: GUEST,Bill the Collie
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 02:57 AM

Last night I had to tear myself away from the wonderful antandec
on an errand of mercy for my in-laws, who are in their mid-80's.
Their telly was broken, could I come over?

Despite telling them I was preparing for an evening of wine and song,
they sounded pretty upset becos Parky is on saturdays; so I got over there super-fast.

They (or really he) had found a brightness control, reduced the picture to a blank screen and panicked as they had no picture.


moral:

If only all the troubles in the world were so easy to fix with a remote control.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Apr 05 - 02:39 AM

Eleven.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 10:33 PM

Hows about stopping by to break mine, Foolestroupe?....

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: M.Ted
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 10:02 PM

You've got to get more channels, Foolestroope--when you've got more than 200 channels ,sometimes there is something worth watching--

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 08:42 PM

Eight.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 08:29 PM

seven channels????????????? My toaster has more than that.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 08:23 PM

Seven.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: M.Ted
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 04:50 PM

You must not have cable-- we can watch cartoons, old movies, even older movies, vintage TV shows, westerns, or all those action adventure movies---and The Wiggles--There *is* a Russell Crowe movie on about 15 of the channels right now, but we've got at least 200 others--We never need to see any news at all--

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: GUEST,never fear
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 02:34 PM

Hire a small launch motorboat. Attach water skis on the back. Attach telly to waterskis. Get willing lunatic to stand in water and hold the telly afloat. Turn on the engine and go like the clappers. Once you have seen the beauty inherent in them suckers as they ride the waves, you will never look at a telly in the same light again.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Davetnova
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 02:31 PM

It's easy fixed. Take a large hammer, smash screen, instant permanent improvement in programme content.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Peace
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 02:01 PM

Keep the TV, but don't ever turn it on. Give ya something else to dust. When you get tired of that, throw it out.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 01:08 PM

Try swearing at it.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 01:04 PM

You'll have to increase its pocket money, so it can afford to show more channels.

Honest, it's no life these days. Sat in a orner being zapped this way and that by a jerk with a remote, and the pay is lousy. I'm always broke. Who'd be a TV?

DT

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 08:40 AM

One.

Subject: RE: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: Morticia
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 08:33 AM

don't bother having one, Robin......I don't miss tv at all.

Subject: BS: My TV's broke again!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Apr 05 - 08:09 AM

My TV's broke again - just like last night...

Same program on all channels....

Happened on Sept 11 too.... and a few other times.

Robin