BS: Obit?: Blinkin'

Subject: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,OBIT?: Blinkin'
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:46 AM

Reports are circulating that Blinkin', of the well-known trio "Winkin', Blinkin' and Nod", has passed away after a brief illness. The reports have not been confirmed as of this writing. Has anyone else heard anything about this?

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:48 AM

No.

Was Blinkin' related to Bee-dubya-ell? Should I send a sympathy card? Flowers? Liquor?

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:49 AM

Shit! It's too damned early to start threads on the backdoor server.
I have gone and made a mess of things. I shall now go hang my head.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:49 AM

Not true their wooden shoe has developed a hole, and they keep getting wet feet from all the dew, so they've gone to Holland to get a new extra large clog.
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:51 AM

I knew a guy with an extra large clog once. Envy of the locker room.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,gnu
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:58 AM

I heard that the death was suspicious. Nod-Nod Wink-Wink.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:02 AM

I've just done some checking on this. Seems like the Authorities found that there were termites introduced into the sole which ate their way around the section that held up B's bed. It fell into the water and he drowned.

This would normally be considered an acceptable hazard of the transportation mode select, except that the termites were of a species found only in Australia and only in the desert there.

It's considered a "Highly Suspicious Death" by Interpol.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:16 AM

I hope that the rumor about Winkin's demise is unfounded.

Could it be that the same person who started that rumor was also responsible for spreading the malicious tale that Bert [longtime live in partner to Ernie] died of AIDS?

And who was it that felt the need to spread the report that Batman and Robin have a 'special relationship'? Even if this is true-and I'm not sayin that it is-it's nobody's business but theirs.

Some people like to upset people by sharing made up stories.

I guess they don't have anything better to do with their time.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:19 AM

Hell, we all got bugs eatin' away at our souls. Just 'cause theirs was Aussie bugs is nothin' special. Souls is flexible though, so I wouldn' worry about ole Blinken,. Now, Bee Dubya, as he began this concatenation of vapid caterwauling, him I would worry about. The state of his soul is deterioratin' dramatically!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:48 AM

Oh, was it Blinkin instead of Winkin that went to the Great Beyond?

Sorry. I got them confused.

See, that's how rumors start.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:07 PM

Another theory is that Blinkin' was caught winkin' at Nod, who was usually wankin' Winkin', who fixed Blinkin's wagon.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Peace
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 12:28 PM

I thought he'd been elected to the Executive Office.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:03 PM

nothing like a bottle of screw-cap wine for breakfast, eh BWL?

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Davetnova
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:09 PM

\i'm glad we've nothing like this in the old UK.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:32 PM

Well, if you don't have "Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod" in the old UK, do you have "Snap, Crackle, and Pop"?

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:42 PM

We've got Snap and Crackle, but some bastard's lost Pop.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 01:45 PM

Cute.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 02:26 PM

I've heard that Crackle has been offed in the same way that Blinkin' got it. The cops are rounding up the usual suspects.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 02:39 PM

Oh woe is me! Woe is me!

Not Crackle too?!

What is the world coming to???

The usual suspects?! Who in the world would do such things?!

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 02:46 PM

Captain Crunch, in the kitchen, with a spoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 02:53 PM

No, it wasn't a bottle of Mad Dog, John. Mudcat.org was down when I started the thread, so I had to use the no-log-in backdoor server. I was in a hurry and put my name in the thread name field and vice-versa. It was a dumbass mistake, but I've never claimed to be the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree anyway. I have begged the Omnipotent Ones to fix it.

What I regret about the error is that it has distracted us from the very real and serious subject of the thread. Blinkin' is, in fact, dead as a mackerel. Winkin' is under heavy sedation. Nod has gone into complete denial and gone fishing along with his good buddy Jack Daniels. It is a sorry state of affairs and, unfortunately, it's probably going to get much worse before it gets better.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 03:22 PM

Y'know, one of those old folk ballads with a zillion verses talks about a guy who swims beneath a wooden boat, drills a hole in the bottom and sinks it. Find that ballad and you've got your perp.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:15 PM

A clog called the Golden Vanity, that might work!
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:24 PM

So! It was the Cabin Boy, with his little boring tool, on the ocean sea.

Or should that be his boring little tool?

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,Winkin'
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 04:42 PM

Lies! It's all a load of tripe! Why, I just saw Blinkin' this morning and he was doing quite well, thank you. I don't know why anyone would spread such a pack of vicious rumours. But I wouldn't be surprised to find that Nod has something to do with it. He and Blinkin' have been on the outs ever since Blinkin' found Nod's stash and flushed it.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 05:02 PM

If Winken is looking off to his left and up he's lying. If he's looking down and to the right it means he's remembering an actual event and, therefore, telling the truth.

I have this on the best authority. I saw it on a cop show once. Or maybe it was a dime novel. Anyway, I believe it and that's what matters. Or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 05:04 PM

Look, I have it on the best authority.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 05:57 PM

When I Nod my head, you hit it!
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 06:07 PM

I saw we bring in Winkin' and Nod and "sweat" 'em good. Nothin' that'd leave marks, but otherwise really work 'em over and get the truth outa 'em. This kinda thing can't continue.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: GUEST,harpgirl
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:44 PM

it ain't screw cap wine, John. Bruce sniffs georgia red clay...but he don't drink!

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 08:54 PM

Yeah. He's a man with feet, hands, nose, and other appendages of clay. He's even got a dirty mind. And now and then he probably gives folks the slip, too, only nowadays he's really gone to pot.

Subject: RE: BS: Bee-dubya-ell
From: Azizi
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:12 PM

Who done it? And what did he do?

[I figure it's a he].

And if this ever goes to trial you must remember that

"If the glove don't fit, you must acquit".

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:31 PM

How wonderful! Thr thread name is correct now!

Look, I personally am not in the least convinced that Blinkin' has met his demise. Where's the body? Has anybody seen it? No!

We must ask, "Who has something to gain by faking Blinkin's death?"

And the only logical answer is, "I have no frigging idea, but there's gotta be an accordion involved somewhere!"

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 09:38 PM

Winken and Blinken are two little eyes...so if one of them is dead, they can be a pirate.

Being a pirate is all fun and games 'til somebody loses an eye
It hurts like the blazes; it makes you make faces
You can't let your mates see you cry.
A dashing black patch will cover the hatch and make sure the socket stays dry.
Being a pirate is all fun and games 'til somebody loses an eye.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:04 PM

Photographic evidence ! If you look closely, you will see that not only is Blinken's one eye missing, Blinken his or her own self has become petrified! This is obviously the work of the Mafia or the Black Hand or the Cosa Nostra, who have been known to put people's feet into cement -- only this time the guys got carried away!

The missing eye provides absolute identification, as does fingerprint and DNA matching.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:25 PM

Fingerprints? What fingerprints? To have fingerprints, ya gotta have fingers. To have fingers, ya gotta have hands. To have hands, ya gotta have arms. That little guy/girl/whatever has no arms! So, it can't be Blinkin' 'cause ya can't play an accordion with no arms! Yeah, I know, that's the upside of havin' no arms -- nobody'll ever be able to make ya play an accordion -- but we've already deduced* that an accordion is going to come into play in this mystery in some fashion.


* Deduce: Make up stupid shit and pretend it makes sense.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: beardedbruce
Date: 21 Apr 05 - 10:31 PM

so, what does "duced" mean, in the first place?

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 08:16 AM

It means ya got TWO accordions! "Deduced" means that you've had one of 'em taken away -- like "DEducted" means that you used to have something ducted, but it got took, probably by the government. Could even mean that you've had both accordions taken away. Or more. You could owe the government accordions.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 08:38 AM

Socket to them Blinkin, and I'll keep an eye open for the cops.
Has anybody asked the old moon BTW, he saw them last?
G..

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 09:12 AM

Have you ever been de-ducted?! It hurts like hell .... even if they rip it off fast it still pulls your beard out by the roots. Might as well have your face waxed.

Stick a sock in it.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Azizi
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 09:35 AM

May we please pause for a station break so I can make these comments from the peanut gallery? Thanks.

I LOVE these play on words:

"Socket to them Blinkin, and I'll keep an eye open for the cops."
John 'Giok' MacKenzie

and

"Stick a sock in it."
John Hardly

But I suspect that in years to come most people won't know what "Stick a sock in it" means. And even fewer will remember the slang saying "Sock it to me" that was frequently used in R&B songs in the 1960s.

Of course, "Sock it to me" meant the same thing as "Let's rock & roll" which means the same thing as the contemporary Reggae saying "
"Let's get jiggy".

But I suppose most urban dance songs are so explicit nowadays that they don't need a coded phrase like "rock & roll", "sock it to me" and "let's get jiggy" when they want to say let's have sex.

Just wanted to give the posters I specifically mentioned and others on this thread some well deserved PROPS for your way with words..

Okay..Back to the program. On with the show...

Who offed Cock Robin? Sorry, wrong show..

Who killed Blinkin'- if he/she/it really was killed?

Inquiring minds want to know...

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 11:03 AM

Sock it to me means only one thing to this Goldie Hawn fixated saddo.
Rowan & Martin
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Azizi
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 11:53 AM

Are we still in a commercial break?

Okay-then check this out:

Sock it to me cake

and

Monkey Business

and

More!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Azizi
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:06 PM

And since many commercials use R&B music for accompaniment,
we got some vintage Aretha here:

R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB
Oh, sock it to me, sock it to me [etc.]

And for those with an interest in words, here's
the origin & meaning of "Sock it to me."

But you best be believin that when Aretha was demandin R-E-S-P-E-C-T,
she wasn't begging to be hit in the jaw...

But she was sayin "Give it to me".. And you know what she meant by 'it'..

****

So that's all folks!

Now what is really goin on with these Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod characters?

Did someone pull a fast one?

Nod your head if you think Winkin done done away with Blinkin'.

Wink if you love Winkin.

Blink if you don't.

Clap your hands if you believe in Tweety bird..

What? I got my stories all mixed up??!

Well then- you tell me how it goes.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 12:28 PM

Wynken was offed by a conspiracy between the soldier all covered with rust (his musket molds in his hands) and the little peach (of an emerald hue). It didn't have a thing to do with termites.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: John Hardly
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 02:01 PM

hmmmm. toimites.

nyuk nyuk nyuk

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: gnu
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 02:34 PM

What about the Tetley Tea elves? Not that they acually did the dirty deed, but, rather, maybe they drove Blinkin' to take his own life with their incessant dancing. I'd like to teach the little blighters a new dance - one involving a new pair of sharpened football cleats. And their tea sucks.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 03:02 PM

I reckon he's run off with the nets of silver and gold, he's going to sell them and set himself up as a crackle dealer. Dig the rocks bro!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 09:59 PM

Winkin', Blinkin', and Nod one night
Sailed off in a garbage scow,
Sailed down the river a floating blight
With coffee grounds on the prow.

Wish I could remember the rest of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 Apr 05 - 10:19 PM

Damn Rapaire!

Now you've turned this into a music thread!