BS: 365 days on

Subject: BS: 365 days on
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:19 AM

logout time again. 365 days ago my long time wife told me she ha d found a "friend". I thought the worst had past but today I just keep breaking into tears. I had to come home from work. I'm crying now. I don't know why I'm posting but it hurts.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: jacqui.c
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:22 AM

It takes time to get anywhere near acceptance. Anniversaries will always have an effect.

All I can say is that time does heal, or bring some kind of ease. We've both been through this and come out the other end. Hope that happens for you as well.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: gnu
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:39 AM

They say, "Time heals all wounds.", but they didn't say how long. It may have something to do with the depth of your love for her. I still have pangs every now and then for **** and that was twenty three years ago. Go ahead and have a real good, but short, cry. Then, do something constructive. Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: Azizi
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:31 AM

Sometimes help comes from the strangest sources. When I was in your cirucmstance more than fifteen years ago, I happened to be sitting watching a Christmas cartoon with my children. The cartoon was about this bear who was afraid to venture outside for some reason or the other. A friend of his came over and sang this song to him:

Put one foot in front of the other
and soon you'll be walking 'cross the floor.
Put one foot in front of the other
and soon you'll be walking out the door.

-snip-

Of course the song had an uptempo melody. And of course the bear and his friend ended up dancing out the door to find Father Christmas or discover the joys of the Christmas season or something like that. But those words were just what the doctor ordered. For some reason they struck a chord in me, and I realized that I didn't have to be superwoman. I just had to put one foot in front of the other and keep on keepin on, in bad days & good.

Over time I have held on to those words. They remind me of what I have heard about the 12 step program's 'one day at a time' philosophy.

I want to thank whoever wrote that "Put one foot in front of the other" song because I am a witness that it helped me make it through that difficult time.

I still remember that song when things go wrong as they often do.

I hope it can help you too.


Azizi

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: gnomad
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:19 PM

It is doubtless no immediate help whatsoever to know that almost every human being gets something like this at least once in their life, and survives. But they do.

Nor will it help now to know that in ten, or twenty or however many years it will still hurt from time to time, and that the hurt finally becomes just a part of who you are, like a scar. But that is true too.

Everything passes, this too shall pass.

All you can do for now is try to stay positive, you have value along with every other human being. If one person couldn't see it, well that is her loss.

Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: Dead Horse
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 10:40 PM

All of the above. Very good advice and from the heart, I am sure. Those words are a comfort to me, too, and should be kept in your mind whenever you feel low. Live on and find new pleasures in each and every day as it comes.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: GUEST,615
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:12 PM

Often the best thing you can do is to find someone who is worse off than you are help them instead. It's a great way to stop thinking about your problems. And that way two people are better off.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: Alba
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 11:38 PM

Your just letting the Pain out.
It takes time. I see it as a greiving process. You lost someone you Loved.
What can I say that would make you feel better?   I wish I knew..
but I can send you {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} along with
Love and Light
Thinking of you Guest.
Jude x

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: PoppaGator
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 01:57 AM

On the subject of "putting one foot in front of the other," I'm reminded of a favorite expression of the late great Professor Longhair:

"Life is hard by the yard, but it's a cinch by the inch."

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 03:42 AM

It leaves a scar; it will never heal totally. But the scar will hurt less and less. Today you show your grieve. Do it. Even the great Odysseus wasn't ashamed of his tears.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: Charmion
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:07 PM

GUEST, on this day in particular (and every year on this date, in general) think about the good things you have managed to do since that awful day, and the friends you never knew you had until you really needed them. Do something to take care of yourself, even if it's as simple as a load of laundry or eating a nourishing meal. Find some little small beautiful thing and focus on enjoying it for a while.

Subject: RE: BS: 365 days on
From: LilyFestre
Date: 22 Jun 05 - 06:50 PM

Some lyrics that have helped me get through some really rough days are from a song called Days Go By...kinda helped me to focus a little bit.


And days go by...
I can feel 'em flyin'
Like a hand out the window in the wind.
The cars go by...
Yeah it's all we've been given,
So you better start livin' right now
'Cause days go by...
Oh and a woo-hoo...

I'm sorry for your hurt and think that everyone has made some really nice posts. My mom always says (and yes, I'd like to punch her when she says it....BUT....) This too shall pass. And it will.

Hugs to you.

Michelle