BS: 1st official Pres. candidate

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: michaelr
Date: 09 Jul 06 - 12:13 AM

What was the point of refreshing this idiotic thread?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 11:05 PM

Screw the caribou!

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Bill D
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 10:49 PM

You don't want any of that, Peace...it's WAY too strong!

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 05:52 PM

Pass it over here, would you?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 08 Jul 06 - 05:48 PM

Reporter: "All is quiet on the campaign trail as Susu's Hubby has taken a short vacation from campaigning to go fishing. As he and his still unknown VP candidate are meeting with many individuals that he wants to interview for possible cabinet appointments upon his winning and taking office, the American people are waiting for the next bit of Hubby's genius intellect to shine through and see the next bit of his plan to help his fellow man. We join him now while he drives down the freeway by secret microphone that was placed in his truck while he was inside getting breakfast at an IHOP.....


Hubby: ...and the Nun says to the circus clown, "but that was my pie!"


(raucous laughter from all in vehicle)

Unknown VP selection:       "Hubby, tell me. How are you going to possibly try to make a positive difference in everyone's lives? Are you talking individually or collectively."

Hubby:       "Well it's like this. It's all going to start with this one fellow whom I've had the priviledge of exchanging messages with a few times over the past year and a half. I'll just call him LH. All I need to do to make a big difference in his life and to make his dream come true is to influence 4,891 more people to say something about whatever they want to talk about. The only thing is, they have to say it in one particular place.
Once that's done, then it's either off to the next group or individual. It's really that simple. I don't care what they believe or what mean things they say. It's my promise and my goal.



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: michaelr
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 07:44 PM

Oh, he's a Texan. That explains it.

I thought he was just stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: bobad
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 07:27 PM

Life is bad enough reality is ten times worse.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 08 Aug 05 - 07:14 PM

Reporter: As the campaign continues, Susu's Hubby is making great strides in turning people away from their leftward leaning ways and his poll numbers are skyrocketing as a result. This upcoming election looks like a runaway for the sensible man from (clap, clap, clap, clap) deep in the heart of Texas. Let's join him in progress as he is stumping for votes and hear what he has to say......


...to bring their one tank and join us!! (thunderous applause)

(standing ovation)

If terrorists want to continue to engage our military and interests abroad, then by all means we will continue to line them up in the sights of our rifles and keep the party going. This is not a vicious cycle as some have said. This is only the means to an end. As a matter of fact....


All terrorists willing to die for their beliefs, please do so now!

This will make our job a whole lot easier and will bring our men and women home in record time.


.....and the campaign continues....


Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: dianavan
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 08:59 PM

You are right, susu, "Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" was Oscar Wilde.

Please tell your husband if he spent even one day in the classroom, he would know that students do not need to be taught how to be sarcastic.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Peace
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 05:20 PM

I am offended by that remark, Hubby. Canada has TWO tanks, and they both work. Shane was in one in Ontario--drunk tank, and we use the other to ferry fuel for our helicopter. You wanna watch what you say.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: susu
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 05:13 PM

Also wit is a form of intellectual humor (or humour for the Brits)

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: susu
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 05:06 PM

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit" was Oscar Wilde

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: dianavan
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:37 AM

Wasn't it Shakespeare who said, "Sarcasm is the lowest sense of humour."?????

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:16 AM

There is no such thing as an "artful use of sarcasm". That's an oxymoron. If you want to verbally bludgeon someone (while snickering to yourself), use sarcasm.

If you want your words to be artful, use subtle irony.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: dianavan
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 11:28 PM

Susu's hubby - "Not only are we going to add RESPONSIBILITY to the schools but also a healthy dose of describing reality with the artful use of sarcasm."

When you're tying to be funny, you use a little :>) after the joke so everybody knows where you're coming from. Even if you were joking, you were still contradicting yourself.

Our schools in Vancouver have taught social responsibility for a very long time. I'm glad you see the need in your own system. Maybe we wouldn't have to put up with GW and his gang of thieves if they had learned a little respect as youngsters.

By sarcasm, do you mean, "A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government."
-- Edward Abbey

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 11:00 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: bobad
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:57 PM

Mr. and Mrs. Susu

You appear to be trapped in some kind of a time warp circa 1952. If you need help getting out send a signal and we'll try or best to extricate you. The password is Kraft miniature marshmallows.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:46 PM

That's what I've been doing since day one on Mudcat.

That's pretty funny. And here I thought you had mistaken your computer monitor for a mirror and you were just preening yourself all this time.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:30 PM

Yeah, Ebbie, that's about Hubby in an *nut*shell.... Problem with Hubby is that unlike MG, he gets a free pass to say what ever pops into his mindlessness...

Facts??? Screw 'um....

He or she is just another sick exhibitionist... What ever happened to the days when folks like hubby just set up shop on an overpass and flashed their stuff to the oncoming drivers???

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:27 PM

Susu's hubby you said, "Those stuffed shirts in Indiana are letting the convicted felons vote now. Why not non-citizens?"


Come on dianavan,


Can't you recognize a little well placed SARCASM whenever you see it?



That's it....


Not only are we going to add RESPONSIBILITY to the schools but also a healthy dose of describing reality with the artful use of sarcasm.


Bobert,

"Rabied dog about to be caught and put out of its misery'....."

That's what I've been doing since day one on Mudcat. Now I know that you'll disagree, but a sick dog doesn't know he's sick. He just knows that things aren't right in his perception of reality.


"Hubby for President in '08!


Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:23 PM

Susu's Hubby -I finally understand why you don't use your own name - I hope you are having a laugh here because otherwise the uneducated, ignorant, uninformed, gullible, bigoted and just plain nuts person living inside your skin is showing.

I hate leaving alone what you said about Canada and Canadians- but CarolC is right, they can infomr you of their history and capabilities better than I could hope to- and frankly, I hope they do a sarge on beetle bailey number on you.

Do you have any idea of how many untruths, half truths (another way of saying "lies"), and distortions you are promulgating when you say:

"Take Ted Kennedy for example. Please... no but seriously, take Mr. Kennedy. His car and nephews have killed more people than probably 98% of the guns owned by Americans today and yet he still wants to take away your guns. That's just an outrage. And I'm not gonna stand for it.

"Nancy Pelosi.....that woman has injected more botulinum toxin into her face than the Ruskies could have manufactured during the height of the cold war. And yet, she wants to scale back manufacturing and industry because of the pollution and arsenic that is found in our water supply. Let me let you in on a little secret....arsenic is a naturally occurring element. You find traces of it in just about anything you look at. So now she wants additional regulations that will put a stranglehold on production and lose jobs.

"Richard Gephardt....good old dick...now he's a democrat from the good old days. I'd almost be proud to have him serve in my cabinet if it weren't for him toeing the extreme left party line and standing behind some of the most idiotic legislative pieces of crap that has ever come out of Washington.

"John Kerry....what can be said about John that hasn't already been said? Oh...I know....he Served in Vietnam. For about 4 months. While the rest of our boys stayed there far longer. Some of which never came home. Then to think that he appeared with Jane Fonda on several occassions protesting the very same war and then threw his controversial medals over the White House fence. Now he has the gall to stand there and try to reverse my tax cuts while he and his ketchup queen of a trophy wife own multiple MCMANSIONS and look down on the common folks that he says he wants to help...."

?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:02 PM

Sniff, yer right, CarolC....

Sorry, Hub... I know hop much you enjoy yer miserable life so you just keep enjoyin' it....

Sniff...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 09:40 PM

I don't think so, Bobert. Even rabid dogs could use a little compassion.

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Bobert
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 09:32 PM

Well, well, well...

I was allready to say I wouldn't vote fir Hubby fir dog catcher when I spotted the next category: "Rabied dog about to be caught and put out of its misery'.....

Hmmmmm?

Now that's something that Hubby is qualified for...

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 09:07 PM

They would be breaking the law if they came here just to serve you tacos and cod tongues as well.

I'll leave it to the Canadians to set you straight on Canada's record in wartime situations (including the "war on terror"). They can do a much better job of that than me.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: dianavan
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 08:50 PM

Susu's hubby you said, "Those stuffed shirts in Indiana are letting the convicted felons vote now. Why not non-citizens?"

...and then you said, "As far as foreigners coming into the country just to vote....it should not happen."

Which is it?

I realize that most politicians will say anything to get a vote but you have contradicted yourself in less than four hours.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 08:13 PM

As far as foreigners coming into the country just to vote....it should not happen.

Now if our friends from the south want to come in and serve tacos or burritos from a truck to the people at my rallies and lining up to vote for me, then by all means, come on up and make your fortune. That's what America is all about.

Even if our friends from up north want to come on down and serve moose burgers and snow cones, then I welcome them. I love all people. We all need to come together as NORTH Americans and learn about each others lives and customs. Hell, I'll even go one further. If Canada wants, to a greater extent, join us in the war on terror, I welcome all of their 1,500 soldiers. You're even welcome to bring your one tank if it's not in for repairs. We'll even lend you a couple of planes if any of you know how to fly.

I can eat your food. I can enjoy your customs. I don't need nor want your vote.

Any foreigner caught trying to break the law and vote will automatically be sent to Virginny to spend the rest of their lives trying to make two guitar strings from weaved tobacco leaves.

...and the campaign continues....



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: GUEST,Canadian
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 05:09 PM

I would write in Minnie Mouse.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: dianavan
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 02:51 PM

Now there is an interesting thought - Allowing Mexicans and Canadians to vote in U.S. elections! Imagine........

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 07:44 PM

well...an interesting candidacy ..perhaps a big write-in vote will do it for you, Hubby....if they let your major supporters use crayons on their mail-in ballots.

As I read your platform, I wonder why you bother running, as Rush Limbaugh already has name recognition...you could just start a grassroots (crabgrass) draft for him!

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 07:17 PM

Now....on to more pressing matters at hand.


Once elected, I intend to council with everyone in the congress who continues to identify themselves with the leftward movement going on in this fine country today.

Take Ted Kennedy for example. Please... no but seriously, take Mr. Kennedy. His car and nephews have killed more people than probably 98% of the guns owned by Americans today and yet he still wants to take away your guns. That's just an outrage. And I'm not gonna stand for it.

Nancy Pelosi.....that woman has injected more botulinum toxin into her face than the Ruskies could have manufactured during the height of the cold war. And yet, she wants to scale back manufacturing and industry because of the pollution and arsenic that is found in our water supply. Let me let you in on a little secret....arsenic is a naturally occurring element. You find traces of it in just about anything you look at. So now she wants additional regulations that will put a stranglehold on production and lose jobs.

Richard Gephardt....good old dick...now he's a democrat from the good old days. I'd almost be proud to have him serve in my cabinet if it weren't for him toeing the extreme left party line and standing behind some of the most idiotic legislative pieces of crap that has ever come out of Washington.

John Kerry....what can be said about John that hasn't already been said? Oh...I know....he Served in Vietnam. For about 4 months. While the rest of our boys stayed there far longer. Some of which never came home. Then to think that he appeared with Jane Fonda on several occassions protesting the very same war and then threw his controversial medals over the White House fence. Now he has the gall to stand there and try to reverse my tax cuts while he and his ketchup queen of a trophy wife own multiple MCMANSIONS and look down on the common folks that he says he wants to help....


I'm sorry guys.......I'm practicing for my first fund raising speech.

Pretty good so far, huh?

I've got this thing wrapped up.

Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 06:42 PM

Michael Jackson and the Baldwins will be escorted to the border and given $100 and a sack lunch. They've teased us long enough.

What have Canada or Mexico done to deserve them?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 04:24 PM

aw heck....why not.....


Those stuffed shirts in Indiana are letting the convicted felons vote now. Why not non-citizens?



That would definately change in my administration!



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 03:59 PM

Come one, come all. Canadians are definitely IN

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: GUEST,Canadian
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 03:40 PM

How many times will we be allowed to vote for the candidate of choice?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 03:19 PM

Wow, SH. You think you'll be more in agreement with Amos? LOL

CarolC, thank you for refusing the post. You would have been on probation - oh, I forgot- no probation for this ruler. Let me put it this way: You would have resigned the second day.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:11 PM

Yes. That's good. You wouldn't have liked the way I would perform that job anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:01 PM

Well then fine.....


I withdraw my nomination of you for S of E.


I now offer it to Amos.


He can use big words, too.


...and as Ray Stevens put it.......

"I don't love you anyway!"



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:55 PM

BTW, Susu's Hubby, the candidacy you have described and claimed for yourself is not that of president. You have just declared your candidacy for Totalitarian Dictator of the United States and The Rest of The World.

And you're not the first. Claymore beat you to it a couple of years ago.

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:48 PM

Sorry Wesley, none of the people of conscience with whom I'm familiar, and who could and would do a good job, are willing to sell their souls to the devil.

Know what I mean?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Wesley S
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:13 PM

I've never heard it called a harmonica before...

C'mon Mudcatters - is anyone else willing to run ? Someone a little more - moderate ? A good tree-huggin', bring 'em home now, I got your weapons of mass destruction right HERE kind of canidate ?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:13 PM

Sorry about that CarolC....



I hereby nominate CarolC as the future Secretary of Education.




(I've just got to figure out a way to convince congress to OK it.)




Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: jacqui.c
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:03 PM

I think that we will have to put up another candidate.

He's drop dead gorgeous. He hasn't got a lot of money but I reckon that won't be a problem if we let it be known that he's standing. The money will just come pouring in, particularly when we threaten to let a few skeletons out of the cupboard and cats out of the bag.

He's very bright but can put on the dumb act when he needs to so he's one up on the present incumbent anyway. He's also very friendly so no problem with foreign relations.

IMO he can do a better job than the present lot and still find time to go walkies with his Auntie Mary. Vote for Seamus!

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: CarolC
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:00 PM

Everyone else may take advantage of all of the opportunities that have presented themselves in the past that has made fortunes for many that were once in the same situation.

Ahem...

That should be, "has made fortunes for many who were once in the same situation".

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: susu
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:59 AM

Hubby, if you start to even hint at acting like Billy, I will be out of here. Got it? But, I still love you. Susu

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:51 AM

"Maybe I will play the harmonica"


Susu,

I think you're getting the facts mixed up with a joke. Instead of harmonica.......it should be "whore Monica". I mean, we are talking about Bill Clinton afterall.


Besides,

You know I don't like cigars!



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: susu
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:41 AM

Now now Wesley, there is no need for name-calling. WE ARE NOTHING like the CLINTONS! Maybe I will play the harmonica (but I am not good at it), but NOT Hillary. What a mean thing to say! Besides, I said I am DDG whereas she IS NOT (and I have my suspicions about her sexuality too! WINK WINK!) So please play nice okay? You can say I am Laura's gorgeous replacement if you wish. That I can handle.

Susu

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Wesley S
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:27 AM

So Susu - You'll be playing Hillary ?

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:25 AM

Dianavan told Hubby:

"I don't care if a few caribou ARE inconvenienced." Have you ever heard of the web of life? Do you fail to understand how we are all effected when one of us is effected?

I think someone should have taught you about your responsibilities to this planet and to all those that inhabit it.

Dianavan, have you no sense of humor at all?

(And the word you wanted was "Affected". With an A.)

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: 1st official Pres. candidate
From: susu
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:18 AM

Hey Wesley, he has me and I AM DROP DEAD GORGEOUS! Susu