BS: On being mugged

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 07:47 PM

"Carry a weapon. Learn how to use it. I do"

That's stupid... most studies show that the majority of weapons carried for 'self-defence' wind up being used against the person they were supposed to defend...

Take good self-defence classes and 'become' a weapon...   That way it can't be used against you

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 07:03 PM

Victim's Support will help you through the trauma and offer some counseling. Take it! It is important not to be alone as you get through the ordeal. Time and knowing how to help yourself in a similar situation will help the healing process.

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:45 PM

Pauline, you may find some helpful resources at the National Victims' Assistance site.

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:35 PM

I agree with most of the above advice.

So sorry to hear this Pauline - I used to do Victim Support work and know how something like this can affect a person. Make use of all your friends to talk this out and take back control by taking the self defense class!

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Deckman
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:24 PM

Carry a weapon. Learn how to use it. I do. Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: GUEST,maryrrf
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:13 PM

Self defense classes are always good, and MIGHT have helped in this case, but so many attacks involve guns - martial arts aren't much defense against that. I'm sorry, Pauline, that this happened.

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:07 PM

I attended the 'graduation' of a self defense class that a friend of mine was taking. I had a most unexpected reaction to the violence though. When it came her turn to take on the mugger and she went into attack mode, I burst into tears.

Pauline, my sympathies to you. I can imagine how shaky the ground has become. But do take a class- those women who took the class I mentioned above to this day feel stronger and more in control of their lives.

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: LilyFestre
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:59 AM

I can imagine that you would be shaky...what a horrible thing to have happen. :( I am really glad that you didn't get shot or beaten or something even worse. It sounds like you have some really good friends...let them help you. I have more...but I'll PM you sometime soon. In the meantime, see if there are any kind of self defense classes in your area...that will make you physically stronger and give you some confidence which will ease the nerves.

Stay safe.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:12 AM

would that be Hrothgar the Viking - did the fire trick work in your experience of pillage, etc.....?

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Hrothgar
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 06:08 AM

Cynical bastard time.

Don;t yell "HELP!"

Yell "FIRE!"

People won't come to help you, but they'll come to see a fire.

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: MBSLynne
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 05:39 AM

CH and Giok are right....don't let him beat you. Self-defence will restore your confidence and repair some of what this guy has stolen from you

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Alba
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 05:21 AM

Love and {{{Hugs}}}
I am sorry to hear this happened to you.
There are some very sound suggestions posted so far that may help you.
Holding you in my Thoughts
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 05:17 AM

Forget you're a lady Pauline and keep saying to yourself "Fuck the bastard he's not going to beat ME" Then go to those self defence classes!
Chin up girl.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Jeanie
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 05:11 AM

I am so sorry to hear this has happened.
Sending lots of good thoughts your way,
- jeanie x

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: fat B****rd
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 05:06 AM

Hello, Pauline. I'm so sorry to hear of this.
My step-daughter works for Victim Support UK and was most helpful when my son was beaten up last year.
Don't let this "person" take away your dignity or enjoyment of life.
I must agree about self-defence classes.Apart from being an unfortunate necessity they can be good for you.
All The Best from Charlie fB

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: alanabit
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 04:49 AM

Hi Pauline. Go to a self defence class, like Clinton suggests. Above all, it can get you over that feeling of being helpless. I am feeling the same anger at the perpetrator and sympathy for you, which everyone else here has expressed.
That was a good idea by WLD. If you think it might cheer you up, PM me with your address, and I shall have an excuse to send you off an album too.

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 04:07 AM

Malc Stent was telling me the other day how he was mugged in Solihull of all places.

Apprently one night after a gig, he was phoning from a phone box - to tell his wife he'd forgotten his house keys, and please let him in. This hoodie opened the phone box door and threatened him with something he thought was a mace can. Imagine his horror when he wrestled the guys hand up to see it was a big automatic pistol. Anyway while he was wrestling, the accomplice grabbed the car keys.

and that was it, they jumped in the car and that was the last he saw of his Martin 12 string and Bose PA.

being a victim of crime is horrible. my wife was upset for months after we were burgled and we weren't even in the same country when the burglar broke in.

I'm very sorry you've had this experience Pauline. I'm sure we'd all like to hold your hand and make you a cup of tea and say something comforting.

Did I already send you an album. If not send me a snail mail address and perhaps it will cheer you up

all the best

al

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: dianavan
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 03:28 AM

Pauline L. - I am so sorry that you were victimized. You will have those physical sensations for awhile because you have been traumatized. If the shaking doesn't stop after a few days, you need to see a doctor. Its good to talk it out with a professional. The choking feeling, the anxiety, the racing heart, the lack of concentration are all natural reactions when you have been personally violated and scared out of your wits. With time it will subside.

Please don't hesitate to seek counselling. Sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger, someone who is trained to handle a range of emotions. Telephone counselling might be available to you. Its O.K. to talk about it. I'm glad you are sharing your thoughts here.

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 03:09 AM

Good and supportive friends can make all of the difference in recovery from something like this; I know from a rape experience long past.

I agree with Clinton; take a good self-defence class. The one my daughters and I went to taught us tactics for when someone grabs us from behind which may have helped in this kind of situtation. Mace, a small can of spray paint, anything like that can help, too. It's good that you used your voice to yell as much as possible. That was the first line of defence we learned in class; yell a deep, strong, loud "NO!!!" as soon as possible. They don't expect that.

If you find yourself shaking a lot, having trouble sleeping, etc. see if there is a counselling group or support group you might be able to attend a few times. You are not alone and others who've been there can help.

Take care of yourself and when you get to the point of being good and mad about it, punch the daylights out of a pillow or something...it helps, too.:-)

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 02:49 AM

i know how you feel and what youve been through Pauline. good luck with the recovery process - it will take a while but at some point hopefully things will feel normal again. I was robbed in my home once, ten years ago - by two teenagers - it took a long time to recover and for the house to feel like home again. but it does.

my thoughts & best wishes are with you!

freda

Subject: RE: BS: On being mugged
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 02:35 AM

Get yourself into a -good- self defence class and take your STRENGHT back from this perp!

Subject: BS: On being mugged
From: Pauline L
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 02:31 AM

I was mugged one night recently around 10:15 PM just outside of my home as I walked home from the bus stop. A man came up behind me quietly on a dark part of the path. He grabbed me from the rear and demanded my money. He pushed me around, moving me off the path towards a wooded area, and pawed me. At times he grabbed me around the neck or struck me on the back of my neck with a blunt object. I screamed for help a few times and tried jabbing him with my elbow, but he stayed behind me most of the time, so I couldn't poke him in the eye, throat, knee, or shin. I couldn't even get a good look at him. Every time I screamed, he threatened to kill me. I gave him all the money I had with me, but he didn't want my wallet or cards. It could have been a lot worse. I wasn't harmed physically and all I lost was about $35. Nevertheless, I was really shaken up. When I got into my home, I called the police. They were familiar with the situation. There have been several similar muggings in my neighborhood recently, presumably by the same guy. Several policemen came out in response to my call, including one with a K9 Corps dog, who sniffed around very impressively. The police also sent out a helicopter with a floodlight to search the woods near the place where I was attacked. The light was very, very bright. With a sense of irony, I thought, "Wow. I must be important." One of the policemen recommended that I stay in the well lit areas of the parking lot at night and that I get and carry pepper spray. They said that crooks like this are usually intimidated by such tactics.

So many women are affected by such crimes. We are affected even more by fear of crime. We don't go out at night, especially to places where we feel uncomfortable, because of the fear. Single women are especially vulnerable, and I resent that. I feel that I can't go places and do things that other women can because I don't have a man to watch over me. Damn!

One of my male friends told me that he, too, is concerned, not only about me, but also about himself. Men get mugged, too. I had forgotten about that. Now I remember something about a trainer I had in a gym about 10 years ago. He is African American, big, bulky, and in great shape. He lives in a middle class neighborhood. One night he was held up at gunpoint just outside his home. He told me that the gun was almost against his chest, and he was awfully close to being dead. He is very sensitive to the fears of women. He often crosses a street to avoid walking behind a woman, especially a white woman. A few white men have told me that they do the same thing.

Crime stalks everyone, men and women, black and white, at any time of day and in any neighborhood.

I'm surprised at how long it's taken for me to recover. A week after the mugging, my hands were still shaking. When I tried to talk about the mugging, my voice quavered and my throat felt like it was tightening (asthma, probably). My heart was racing. I couldn't concentrate. I kept forgetting things.

A few friends have been like light in the darkness. One of my neighbors told me to call him any time, up to 11 PM, when I'm at the entrance to my condo complex, and he'll come and pick me up. He even drove to the grocery store to bring me home. Another friend responded very well to my need for hugs. Still other friends have called or emailed me and said sympathetic, supportive things. It's good to know that there are people who care about me.