BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers

Subject: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 11:26 AM

We've had threads on bumper stickers before, but this one is for bumper stickers we wish existed.

When my oldest son was a teenager, I told him that I was going to have a bumper sticker made for his car. It would say:

    "Happiness Is My Next Purchase"

That would be apropos for millions of people.

With a more limited sales poential, how about:

   "Randy Is My Name, And Randy Is My Game"

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: MMario
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 11:35 AM

"if you can't see this you are not too close"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 12:40 PM

No comment.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Pseudolus at Work
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 12:48 PM

"Hey, it was either this or wash the bumper"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 12:52 PM

I'm menopausal and have a gun. BACK OFF!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: gnu
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 01:58 PM

The horn blows. Does the driver?

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: PoppaGator
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 02:18 PM

The bumper stickers that I wish were non-existant are the ones with too many words in too small a size.

I am always curious, and even though I know that the sentiment being expressed by one of these poorly-designed stickers is probably stupid, humorless, and/or representative of a point of view with which I disagree, I HAVE TO READ IT!!! ~ thereby putting myself and others on the road with me at risk of an accident, as I squint to try to read the fine print and/or tailgate at full highway speed in an effort to get close enough to read it.

Well, I almost always control my impulse and resist the temptation to drive too carelessly in my effort to read someone's lame-ass joke or insipid sentiment, but I hate even having to deal with the problem at all...

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 02:25 PM

I was going to suggest:



"The sentiments expressed in this bumper sticker are meant in no way to insult or dissrepect any individual, race, place of origin, religion, political affiliation, age, or sex. If you've read this far, my apoligies for endangering your life."

But, after ready Poppa's comments, I decided not to.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: michaelr
Date: 03 Aug 05 - 03:26 PM

I used to make my own bumper stickers. Examples:

This vehicle makes WEIRD turns

Sinners have more fun


Cheers,
Michael

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,NH Dave - new browser
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 02:02 AM

"Who knew Jeb was the smart one?"

    Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: mooman
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 04:09 AM

"Peace and Love to All - Martin Gibson"

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 06:16 AM

The Winner!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 08:52 AM

Support Bush God Torture & War

NPB is biased and unbalanced
in favor of truth.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 08:53 AM

"My wife drives better than this..."

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Mr Red
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 10:02 AM

one for Canadian regulations

"Urinal on the left side"

(or should that be right?)

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Joe_F
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 10:27 AM

I'd rather be in bed.

If you can read this, you are close enough to kiss my ass.

I actually did have a bumper sticker once that said "Unsafe at any speed". Also, during the presidential campaign of 1968, I made one up myself (the Democratic Party was not obliging) that said "Humphrey: We Could Do Worse". And so, of course, we did.

--- Joe Fineman    [e-mail]

||: If you don't like the fortune, don't eat the cookie. :||

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 02:28 PM

A Little Pain Never Hurt Anybody

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 04:27 PM

"Where Am I?"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 04:46 PM

Maybe "Honk if You Know Where I Am"?

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: beardedbruce
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 04:53 PM

actual one

"Born Again... and again and again"
from a Buddhist temple in NY state

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Pauline L
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 05:00 PM

I have a few bumper stickers that (obviously) exist but in small quantities. I'd like to give credit to the guy who made them, but I've forgotten his name.

Loyal to country always. Loyal to government only when deserved.

Outsource George.

Jesus did not preach war or fascism.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 06:55 PM

Saw a good one today - 'George Bush has more people praying than ever before'.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Peace
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 06:59 PM

LOL

I'm one of 'em. Good eye, jacqui.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: emjay
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 07:52 PM

I like the one a friend gave me, "When Jesus said love your neighbor, he meant don't shoot them."

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 11:28 PM

an 'almost' non-existant bumper sticker that I may have the only copies of....during the big gas crisis of the 70s when the USA imposed a national speed limit, the EPA issued some cute, inspirational, bumper stickers that said:

"Driving 55 is Chic- Driving 75 is Sheik"


they were released for about 2 days, but never got further than headquarters building in Wash DC...I got 2 before they came to their senses and confiscated the rest.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Kaleea
Date: 04 Aug 05 - 11:36 PM

The best bumper stickers were in mad magazine in the 60's. They also had the old fashioned lick & stick on whatever you want kind. I saved a couple for when I was old enough to have my own car[mafia staff car & I forget the other one], but by then I had no idea where any of the stickers were.
    Even in the 70's Presidents Nixon & Carter asked the American people to conserve energy. Sssupp wif dubblepew bush? Oh, yeah, he's an oil man, duh!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Aug 05 - 01:42 AM

I have one that says 'I'm not weird, I'm Special'.... it sits over my desk at work... makes a lot of people go and give work to someone else so I like it.

But my favourite is one that a colleague used to flip down over his computer screen on days he wasn't in... 'I would be at work today but the voices told me to stay home and clean the guns'.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: CapriUni
Date: 06 Aug 05 - 01:10 AM

For my father: "Bumper Stickers are a Bad Idea"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: katlaughing
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 05:06 PM

I'd like to have one that says "My border collie is smarter than our President!"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 05:21 PM

I Brake for Amber Lights

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 07:55 PM

Privatize Marriage, not Social Security

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Nov 05 - 07:59 PM

My other car is a piece of shit too.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 12:00 AM

Back in the 80's when they had all those yellow diamond signs, starting with "Baby on Board," "Grandma on Board" and everything else "on Board" I wanted to make one that said "Totally Bored."

But I think my favorite actual bumper sticker has still got to be: "Sorry, my karma just ran over your dogma."

Aloha,
Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 09:19 AM

If you can read this, you're speeding too!



Seen on a t-shirt:    Memes don't exist, tell your freinds.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 10:42 AM

fffffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

beg your pardon, I'm just cleaning my key board

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Juan P-B
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 02:13 PM

I once saw one that said "Carpenter from Nazareth seeks joiners"

One I'd like to see is "They call me 'Bitch' like it's a bad thing"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Duane D.
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 02:21 PM

One I actually saw years ago in NJ and never saw again, "Honey Lovers Stick Together."

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 07:28 PM

How about one that just reads....."Bumper Sticker"?????

(But Bobert, that's just plain dumb...)

Nevermind, that's plain dumb...

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Padre
Date: 02 Nov 05 - 09:43 PM

Fleet Marine Force Corpsmen - A Marine's Second Best Friend

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bert
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 12:41 AM

Bobert. That's gotta be the best I've ever heard.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 02:37 AM

I once saw one that said "Carpenter from Nazareth seeks joiners"
I had it on my car, got it in Bishop's Stortford.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: alanabit
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 02:50 AM

"Ban bumper stickers."
"I'm not an asshole - I'm just not as talented a driver as you."
"I paid for this car. Come closer and you can pay for my next one."
"Do you really want to see my dashboard before you can see my brake lights?"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Dead Horse
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 05:06 AM

Nuke The Nukers!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: jaze
Date: 03 Nov 05 - 06:14 PM

Seen recently: When the Rapture comes, can I have your stuff?

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:02 AM

Sometimes I ruminate bitterly on the people who won't answer an invitation, on the grandkids who don't say thanks for a gift, on the brothers and sisters who never reciprocate long distance calls, on the personal e-mail that goes unacknowledged.

I want to have a bumpersticker that simply says in big letters RESPOND.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:37 AM

Hi leeneia - greetings to you. I'm responding.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Suzette
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 08:11 PM

Play Hard - You Can Rest When You Die!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Troll
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 10:11 PM

I have my faults, but bein' wrong ain't one of 'em!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,LorraineF
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 11:32 PM

I always wanted a bumper sticker that said:

Anyone who steals this car deserves it

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 02:11 AM

"My political views are too complex to state here!"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Peace
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 02:14 AM

George is a genius!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Mark Ross
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 12:00 PM

How about;

"If we get him a blow job, can we impeach him?"

Mark Ross

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 07:51 PM

Baby on Board of Microsoft

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: frogprince
Date: 07 Nov 05 - 07:53 PM

Beam me up, Scotty, there's no democracy down here.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 01:01 AM

Nice one Mark, but I don't think we'll find a voluteer to do that.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:46 AM

Baby on Board? your driving a Minivan not a Yacht!
Baby on Board? by the looks of it the Baby is driving!
Baby on Board...and?????


Vote Bush/Cheney....if it wasn't so horrific it might be funny.
Bring our Troops Home ALIVE
So you voted for Bush....Thanks a lot asshole


Yes I bought a Car Air Freshener today...smells nice huh....Back off!

The Rapture has been, gone and left us all behind!

My Car helped make the Oil Companies Billions in profits this Year

Goblins, Pixies and Elves on Board.....and your bragging about a Baby!

My other Car is...parked.... cause I can't afford to use it!

Your Kid is an honor student. Great, at least someone in your Family has a brain.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,flakie bickie
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:32 AM

how about 'I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous'
   or    'Never eat on an empty stomach'
         Flakie

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 01:24 AM

George Bush is a Genius.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,Ingrid Frances Stark
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 02:39 AM

"Where am I?" ... I know I've seen one that said:

"Where are we going? And why are we in this handbasket?"

And I have one that I've never quite got up the nerve to put on the dashboard of my taxi:

"Warning: driver carries only $20 worth of ammunition."

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:59 AM

"My second car has 14 wheels" - with a picture of the APC M113

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:37 PM

printed upside down: "If you can read this, call 911"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:42 PM

That is VERY funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: GUEST,kittenwink
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 02:11 AM

At Least When I Get To Hell...
I Will Know Some People.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Bert
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 02:13 AM

George Bush is a Genius. Peace, that one is precious and deserves to be repeated.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Donuel
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 03:13 PM

Support our Torture
Cheney Rice '08

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: autolycus
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 06:45 PM

Philosophers think about it.

Best teeshirt I saw,Notting Hill, London early '70s, said,

I've made 120 decisions today, and they were all wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-existent Bumper Stickers
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 06 Dec 05 - 08:08 PM

"I'm with Him"

Jerry