BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Ebbie
Date: 25 Nov 05 - 06:11 PM

Which brings up the question: How did the dog acquire or deserve his name? *G*

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: robomatic
Date: 25 Nov 05 - 05:43 PM

Did you ever hear of a dog named "Timex".

He could take a ticking and keep on licking.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 25 Nov 05 - 01:11 AM

If ever get another dog, I'm gonna call him Kendall, and start a few threads here with his name in the title. So there!

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 09:58 AM

He's a lovely dog Bob. I am not a 'dog person' but this hound has a real personality and it would be nigh on impossible to live in the same house and not love him.

He's very mischievous and will make a dive into any open purses that might be around, but only if the owner is close by - he likes to play. I think I've just about cured him of making off with my yarn when I'm crocheting and not giving him the attention he reckons he deserves.

On dogs taking after their owners - he is a charming character with a big streak of mischief - very much like the Cap'n.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Deckman
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 06:46 AM

You both are so blessed to have a dog that is so happy!, CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: jacqui.c
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 11:15 PM

Dani - were you enquiring about Seamus or Kendall?

Both are well and have adjusted to the new house without too many problems.

We had a few people in for a celebratory meal tonight to mark the fact that we closed on this house today so now it's really ours! Our realtor and her lawyer husband came along with their female bull mastiff, Asher. Seamus made friends with her but it looks like it will be platonic. I do reckon the dog is gay!

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 01:39 AM

When I saw the "7+ inches," I knew it wasn't about me.

Seamus

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Dani
Date: 22 Nov 05 - 11:51 PM

Oh my God.

I'm not even gonna tell you how I FOUND this thread, but I did. And I sure did need a few good laughs tonight ; )

How is the old boym anyway?

Here's my $.02: my neutered golden Moose (laugh if you must) was born gay. I'm convinced of it. And though he's never enjoyed the real thing, he's usually up for a good dry hump with his best friend the Airedale who is twice his size. Ahem. Only Moose tries to climb onto poor Buck's head. And Buck gets Moose's whole back haunch in his powerful jaws, flips him over his shoulder, then they both shake it off, have a good chuckle, and start over again.

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 09:48 PM

I did. Kendall tells me I am obsessed with Seamus' sex life and need a hobby. That isn't exactly what he said but given his threat to keep me from the darling dog, I will now drop the subject entirely. Besides, it is only a matter of time before Seamus comes up with something equally amusing.
SINS, Single Maiden Lady

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Deckman
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 09:05 PM

Sins ... I've heard that most animals take on the personality and traits of their owners. So ... perhaps you should go to the source ... doggone it anyway! CHEERS, Bob(deckman)Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Metchosin
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 03:56 PM

It would seem that most of us don't come in close contact with the every day reality of life with animals in their natural state as we did on the farm or a hundred years ago on a city street.

We're surrounded by spayed and neutered animals and consequently spared a large piece of reality in the doggie world and are somewhat surprised when a little of their true "nature" pokes through. LOL

And to change the subject very slightly, this may probably be part of the reason or perhaps because I linked from this thread to my pic of Old Wort at the Flickr photo website, that Flickr has notified me, that perhaps I should flag the photo of Wort and Bone with a "may offend" tag. LOL

Old Wort, on the other hand, true to his nature regarding such concerns, would have just lifted his leg, thinking "piss on it", then moved on wagging his tail. Good idea, Old Dog Wort..

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 10:47 PM

Thanks for sharing.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: LadyJean
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 10:36 PM

I had a neutered male silver tabby. He was snoozing on the bed when Musetta, my tortie with attitude, hopped up and informed him that she ws in heat. Mr. Tabby did his darndest to father her kittens. In fact, he tried several times, always on my bed. Well it's nice to know somebody was having a good time there.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 10:34 PM

Thank you John. Most of us are "not in Kansas anymore." Poor Seamus has been collected IN MY ABSENCE and moved to his new home in Scarborough. We will see..............

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: kendall
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 08:35 PM

Thanks John, I was hoping this exercise in hysteria would die out so I wouldn't have to explain the facts of life to the "Maiden Lady" in question. Well done sir.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 05:31 PM

So should Jack be asking for a DNA test on these puppies that Jolene says are his?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 05:26 PM

Someone will be along with the details.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 05:23 PM

Once upon a time, a long time ago, when some kid got bored hanging out around the farm - IF it was too dark to work at something, someone might hand the kid a copy of "The Complete Manual of Animal Husbandry for Midwestern Farmers" ed. 1898 or so, - or something like that - and if the light from the little windows in the coaloil stove was sufficient, a kid might learn a lot of things more modern education omits.

It can be a real trick to work much of it into a conversation.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 05:15 PM

Nothing like a fine eye for detail.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 05:10 PM

You're always a font of information, John.


No sarcasm. (for a change)

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 02:27 PM

The sequence of events described is not at all uncommon.

The first point to be realized is that "mounting," particularly for male-on-male, is a dominance action that has little to do with sex. Neutered males do it for this reason about as frequently as "fully equipped" ones. It's also not uncommon for females to "simulate mounting" as a display of dominance over other females and/or males. (In females it may be a bit more common with females who have been altered.)

In "dominance mounting displays" a male dog seldom has an erection, although a sustained display may result in one. In such cases, the erection is mostly "accidental." There generally is no attempt at penetration.

Dogs share a characteristic "sex behaviour" with a number of other critters, in that erection is not required for insertion. The penis usually has an enlargement fairly close to the base that after erection prevents, or at least inhibits, separation until the erection subsides. In the normal mating, the erection subsides only after ejaculation.

When a male dog has an erection, the bulge that would provide a "secure mating" often cannot be withdrawn into the sheath until the erection subsides. Small dogs, especially, appear oblivious to it and may just run around with it all hanging out. Indications are that this condition can range from annoying for most to rather painful for some dogs. It is, however, transient, and will subside without assistance in nearly all cases.

There is little one can do to hasten the process of resolving the male's erection, and this is the only thing that is going to relieve his distress. (There obviously are some extremely crude things that could be suggested, but none that most would want to try.) The ice-pack suggested in a previous post might help if the male is calm enough to accept such treatment.

With a "coupled" couple in normal mating, most suggestions will accomplish little beyond further agitating a struggling pair of animals, and things like "throwing a bucket of cold water on them" are unlikely to hasten a normal separation. Such actions may cause the animals to struggle, and particularly in the case of a small female with a larger male can result in injury to the female when the engorged lumpy penis is forcibly withdrawn. The normal recommendation is to leave them alone until they're done, and get the female a "morning after" treatment at the vet's if desired.

For the male dog with a "locked up sheath" the best that normally can be done is to keep him as calm as possible until nature takes its course. A mental distraction that takes his mind off his problem may perhaps help, so petting and talking to him can be tried, but physical activity on his part probably won't help a lot.

I've known of a couple of old farm dogs subject to the condition who'd taught themselves to relieve themselves by masturbation - humping against their own crossed forelegs. They seemed to obtain some more rapid resolution for their problem; but I have no idea how one would teach a dog to do this. They both were at the same farmstead, so perhaps I should have asked the farmer...

John

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 07:28 AM

Ah, Mick I think perhaps you'd better control those alpha instincts. KoKo and Seamus co-habited in SINSULLS house for months without any disagreements at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: jacqui.c
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 07:27 AM

You could try Mick, but just be aware that you would have to accept the consequences of such an act.

Be afraid. Be very afraid.........

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 07:20 AM

That damn mutt better stay away from KOKO or I will make a friggin' handwarmer out of him..........

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 07:08 AM

Careful Spaw, I've seen this chicken, in fact so has Seamus. Last time I was over it was the object of his attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Sorcha
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 01:02 AM

Uh Oh.....

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 12:58 AM

Actually, jacqui. I was wondering what on earth you have been teaching this poor dog. He was almost normal until you moved in. I think a permanent move in with a maiden lady is in order.

Giok - that has been my experience with banjo players too. Sad but true.

Spaw - watch it. The last two noisy light-up toys I found for you were confiscated by greedy 'Catters. But I will find replacements. In fact, I have a dancing chicken here with your name on it. Does the Chicken Dance. He and the turkey will look good together.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 12:13 AM

That's it; blame the help!!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 11:21 PM

Trust me Spaw, without going into details I can categorically state that the Cap'n can't be blamed for this one.

Staying with a maiden lady, and being allowed to sleep on the same bed, has obviously gone to the boy's head.

Lord knows what other unfortunate habits he's picked up! Looks like I'll have my work cut out getting him back into shape when he comes home again!

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:41 PM

Mellow Seamus out with this album next time, Sinsull.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Metchosin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:20 PM

Sinsull, you could start carrying some KY jelly from now on.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:08 PM

Know of it happening to a bull, but I didn't get measurements.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:08 PM

Indeed Mary an object lesson to all of us of the male persuasion.
It is also worth noting that I have never heard of this happening to a banjo player!
Giok ;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 09:02 PM

For all of you who find this humorous, I hope you never have to hold down 90 lbs of screaming dog while a know-it-all expert insist he has hurt his leg and you know for a fact it is not his leg that is the problem. All the while I was trying to figure out how to lift him in to the car without hurting him further, what on earth to tell the vet and how to explain a broken penis to Kendall. He may act nonchalant about it now but he wasn't there.

I will of course avoid a repeat of this unfortunate event by interceding when he (Seamus) becomes too amorous. Thank you all for your attention.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 08:11 PM

Then you're in the shit!
G

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 08:03 PM

What if your problem is diarrhea?

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 07:44 PM

It must be nice to be able to lick your own problems into shape!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Tinker
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 05:24 PM

Oh dear, here I sit shaking my head and nearly speechless. Bubba has only thrown himself in full submission once and that was upon meeting ColK. Seamus seemed like such a well mannered soul. But I supppose that's what comes of allowing Jack as a houseguest.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 05:06 PM

Most sporting goods stores will sell you an athletic supporter which you can keep in your purse for emergencies. Seamus probably reckoned this qualified.

Don't take through Airport Security, though, unless you're willing to do a lot of explaining.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:23 PM

Has an eye for detail.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:07 PM

Our fixed male and fixed female dry-hump each other often, as dominance. Occasionally we see the start of an erection in the male, but not to the degree you describe.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:55 PM

A cloth soaked in ice cold water does the trick on our little mutt who is fond of one particular pillow in the rec room. Sometimes he gets all dried out and engorged and it just won't slip back in.

You could suggest we throw the pillow out, but now at least where he's practicing his dance moves and can avoid nasty surprises.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Big Jim from Jackson
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:43 PM

I've been waiting and waiting and waiting for Seamus Kennedy to respond to this thread!   :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:12 PM

Since dogs are pack animals and alphas learn from alphas, then I have to view Cap'n Morse as the source here and whatever it is that's wrong with Kendall is no small thing......or maybe it is a small thing and this is some sort of compensating behavior........or maybe, well..........geeziz, that one is too hideous to think of...........................

Best advice is to stay well away from both dog and owner........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:03 PM

Get laid is more like it. Lot of frustration 'round here.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 12:37 PM

You all need to get a life, hobby or job! Anything!

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 12:35 PM

Mick - you can never trust a maiden lady! Seamus will probably need a lot of counselling after this incident.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: kendall
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 12:30 PM

I can't believe she posted this! Talk about a tempest in a tea cup.

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: Metchosin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 12:27 PM

Actually Liz, despite Mr Barker's observations to the contrary, Old Wort never seemed to have any problem with stairs what so ever. Perhaps along with or because of his ability never to flag when the situation arose, he developed muscles that tucked it closer to his body while going up. I never looked closely to see.

However, his method of descent was also the stuff of local legend. When going down, he would tuck his hind feet up under his body and achieving a certain momentum and balance, used only his front feet to go down stairs. No mean achievement given his anatomical proportions.

Here is a picure of Old Wort and his amazing bone

Subject: RE: BS: Seamus and the Family Jewels
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 12:05 PM

Awww Mick. Don't make me put you to the top of my list AGAIN! For the record - Seamus does not play the banjo. He and I have a healthy, normal dog/part time owner relationship. Unlike you and KoKo.