BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...

Subject: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:17 PM

Your brother's keeper????

Maybe the real message is "SHOP AT LOWE'S"

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Wesley S
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:25 PM

Butt, Butt, Did the end justify the means ??

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:43 PM

That's a gripping account, Spaw, but doesn't crazy glue dry in a few seconds? Why didn't it dry in the interval between its application and the arrival of poor Mr. Dougherty?

If it hadn't dried, it would have been all shiny and wet. Who would sit on a shiny, wet toilet seat?

Since you asked, the moral is "never trust those "News of the Weird" type news features.
---------------
Well, anyhoo, welcome back. I've been wondering what became of you. How's life. How are the kids?

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 01:58 PM

The moral is, ... paramedics rolled Dougherty onto his back, which caused the seat to rip from his butt. Dougherty began breathing again...

Therefore the next time you are with someone who stops breathing, follow the same procedure outlined above. Works every time.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:06 PM

Snopes says:

"But no matter how old a legend, it can always be modernized. Here's an example of such modernization, wherein the paint has become superglue: [Dale, 1984]

"A professor who used a public lavatory in Nottingham found that he could not remove himself from the seat. After making suitable efforts and wondering what he should do, he called the attendant who, once he had broken down the door, ascertained that the professor was stuck to the seat with superglue - the work of vandals. A mechanic was called in to unscrew the seat, and then an ambulance to take the prof and the seat to hospital. When the ambulance men arrived they laughed so much that they dropped the stretcher, causing the professor to further suffer a broken leg. "

However, on last night's Jay Leno, they showed a clip of a TV news show trying to tell the story and breaking up in helpless laughter. So either SOMEBODY believes it or sometimes it IS true.

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 02:35 PM

So Dr. Mark is moonlighting as a lawyer,too?:->

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 03:09 PM

Ya' know Ebbie, I was leary of this one but I hate the good folks at Home Depot so I was also easily sold. In either case what I love is the visualization of all this occuriong!!!!!! Somewhere along these lines is a Paw and Cletus story festering like a boil.........

Now if I can combine this with Kendall's dog getting his woody stuck outside the tube then resolve it all with flatulence.....well, then ya' got somethin'!!!!!!!!!!

Spawr

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 03:34 PM

When my cousin and I were kids, we did the old "Saran Wrap stretched across the toilet" trick.

Really freaked out my grandmother.

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Don Firth
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 03:43 PM

It's a strange, strange world we live in, Master Jack. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 03:44 PM

The moral, of course, is look before you, uh, leap...I guess...nah, I like Spaw's version.


A

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Jeri
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 04:00 PM

I can't find anything on the outcome (sorry) of this lawsuit. I have a hard time believing a guy who's just had all of his plumbing FIXED is going to have a heart attack just because his ass is stuck on a toilet,   He might have been laughing incredibly hard, but I can't imagine "OH MY GOD - MY ASS IS STUCK ON A TOILET SEAT AND I AM GOING TO DIE - AAARGH!"    I also believe you don't take 2 nitro tabs at once unless you want your head to explode. My mother did nitro.

Leenia, Superglue doesn't dry very fast while it's exposed the air. Try this experiment if you don't believe me: put a dab on a spoon. Wait 5 minutes. Since it bonds skin in seconds, 5 minutes ought to give you plenty of time. After time is up, apply spoon to end of nose. Please report back on your results.

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 04:25 PM

Oh dear, what can the matter be?
One poor old bastard is stuck in the lavt'ry...

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Janie
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 04:44 PM

The moral is...he shoulda listened to his mother and not sat down on a public toilet seat:?(

Of course, if EVERYBODY sat down on public toilet seats, we would be without that terrific piece of great poetry

If you sprinkle
when you tinkle
Please be neat
And wipe the seat!

J.

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 05:14 PM

Coz nobody wipes at home?

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 06:08 PM

Cyanoacrylate comes in several grades..thin dries FAST...medium & thick take from 30 seconds to a couple minutes. Someone was just taking a chance that a victim would sit down before it dried. ANY paramedic should have the UNstick remedy in their kit....Acetone will do in an emergency!

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Cluin
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 07:32 PM

Can you imagine where this wouldn't be considered an emergency by the stuckee?

Take yore time, fellahs! Ah'm likely gonna hafta poop agin soon anyhoo...

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 04 Nov 05 - 08:22 PM

Superglue DOES NOT NORMALLY "DRY" AT ALL as long as it's exposed to Oxygen in the air. Active chemical "ends" on the molecule are inhibited from joining with adjacent molecules as long as there is sufficient oxygen to "tie up the bonding loci." Superglue containers are deliberately permeable to air to keep the stuff from hardening in the bottle.

Cyanoacrylate adhesives "cure" to a hard material only when they are confined in a sufficiently tight joint to EXCLUDE oxygen. In order to form a strong joint it is often also necessary that either the "joint material" or a separately applied primer have sufficient "scavanging ability" to absorb or adsorb the oxygen that prevents curing so that the material can react and polymerize. Most "superglue" failures are do to improper use on materials that are not sufficiently reactive to remove the oxygen "inhibitor" molecules, hence the NECESSITY of a primer, usually containing colloidal silver, to "activate" the surface on things like stainless steel and/or brass.

Normal atmospheric moisture (humidity) may cause superglues to "set up" after a while, but the result is a "degraded material" that isn't particularly strong. Used on skin, it's largely the moisture in the skin that causes the "instant setting." The resulting bond isn't as strong as you'd want in a machine usage, but it is often stronger than the skin.

Anyone using superglue should be informed that rinsing uncured spills with water will "clabber it up" so that it can be safely removed before you get stuck on yourself. Alcohol works even better.

On a hard surface, exposed to free air in normal conditions, superglues (cyanoacrylates) will remain liquid for very long times (unless the humidity is rather high), and on a shiny surface they're virtually invisible.

Had the "victim" used a bit of TP to wipe the seat to make sure it was dry - the procedure recommended by most health care/disease specialists in preference to the "butt gasket" - any presence of superglue would have been immediately apparent because the paper would have stuck instantly.

But I do rather doubt that a story this good could be really true.

John

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Dead Horse
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 09:51 AM

So how come whenever I go to use the danged stuff, I find it has turned solid in the tube, bottle, or whatever, huh?

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 10:09 AM

In re: Brother's Keeper comment of 1st post:(somewhat serious vein)
Remember the story this comes from.
Cain gets his nose out of joint and is jealous of his brother, Abel; Cain hides in the bushes, attacks and kills bro. God (who already knows what has happened) goes walking in the evening, meets Cain, and inquires politely after the family. (He's giving Cain a chance to 'fess up.) When God mentions Abel, Cain (the ambusher/fratricide)gets all huffy and asks, "Am I my brother's keeper?" The implied(? inferred?) answer is yes. Not a reference to use to AVOID responsibility.            Tw

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 10:37 AM

My newspaper says "Bob Dougherty, 57, accused employees of ignoring his cries for help for 15 minutes because they thought he was kidding."

Given the noise level and the absence of clerks in a Home Depot, he's lucky anybody heard him at all. In a Home Depot, there's the ambient noise (blowers, fork trucks, registers) plus the requisite ugly music to show that we are all Real Men. You can't find a clerk to help you make a purchase, much less anyone who's got an eye peeled to the restroom. It's no suprise that a fellow Mudcatter, Spaw, hates the place. I hate it, too.

(I don't buy the part about "they thought he was kidding." Actually, I doubt if the whole thing actually happened.)

I don't think the employees can be blamed for the conditions that management sets up.

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Bert
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 11:51 AM

stolen from monologues.co.uk

This is the tale of Sonia Snell,
To whom an accident befell.
An accident which may well seem
Embarrassing in the extreme.
It happened, as it does to many,
That Sonia had to spend a penny.
She entered in with modest grace
The properly appointed place
Provided at the railway station,
And there she sat in meditation,
Unfortunately unacquainted
The woodwork had been newly painted
Which made poor Sonia realise
Her inability to rise.
And though she struggled, pulled and yelled
She found that she was firmly held.
She raised her voice in mournful shout
"Please someone come and help me out."
Her cries for help then quickly brought
A crowd of every kind and sort.
They stood around and feebly sniggered
And all they said was "I'll be jiggered."
"Gor blimey" said the ancient porter
"We ought to soak her off with water."
The Station Master and the staff
Were most perverse and did not laugh
But lugged at Sonia's hands and feet
And could not get her off the seat.
The carpenter arrived at last
And, finding Sonia still stuck fast
Remarked "I know what I can do',
And neatly sawed the seat right through.
Sonia arose, only to find
A wooden halo on behind.
An ambulance came down the street
And bore her off, complete with seat
To take the wooden bustled gal
Off quickly to the hospital.
They hurried Sonia off inside
After a short but painful ride
And seizing her by heels and head
Laid her face down on the bed.
The doctors all came on parade
To render her immediate aid.
A surgeon said "Upon my word
Could anything be more absurd,
Have any of you, I implore,
Seen anything like this before?"
"Yes" said a student, unashamed,
"Frequently... but never framed."

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Charmion
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 12:11 PM

And I wonder why these stuck-fast people never smelled the solvent involved in both super-glue and paint when in liquid state ...

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 03:05 PM

Dead Horse -

Super glue will eventually harden in the bottle, usually due to humidity where you store it. The containers are intended to be permeable to oxygen and impermeable to moisture, but it's difficult to completely exclude moisture while maintaining sufficient oxygenation. Breaking the original seal results in a less effective seal when you put the cap back on. Cheaper packaging reduces shelf life by providing less separation between the O₂ permeation and humidity contamination.

A warm storage place may also result in some setting (polymerizing) of the stuff and reduces shelf life. All the chemicals for formation of solid material are present inside the bottle and there's no such thing as a "zero rate" chemical process.

The basic answer to why it sets up in the bottle is that you're not using it up fast enough. It does have a somewhat limited shelf life, especially after you open it and let in a bit of damp air, but even in ideal storage it won't last forever.

Limited shelf life is one of the reasons it usually comes in fairly small packages. At labs where I've worked (when the stuff was new) we got it in liter bottles, but a half-ounce (or less) is much more suitable for home use. As packaged for home use, I'd recommend discarding any that's left more than a week (maybe a month if you're not using it for "important stuff") after it's opened.

Some automotive "screw retainer" formulations seem to have a much longer shelf life, but they generally are more filler than adhesive.

John

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 05 Nov 05 - 03:41 PM

and once again for Charmion -

There is no solvent in superglue.

It's generally classed as "odorless" and on a shiny surface of almost any kind it's essentially "invisible." That's one reason it's been so popular with office pranksters, and why they can create such dangerous "jokes" with it.

Practice may vary in other places, but in many US public restrooms a variety of "standard sanitizing chemicals" are commonly used. They probably don't do a lot of "sanitizing" but are deliberately made to have a distinctive and noxious odor "so you'll know they've cleaned the place." One would be unlikely to smell a dead skunk in many of them.

An isolated few real stories of the kind seem actually to have happened, but it's usually, and more likely, around the home. Bathrooms seem to be sort of a center for accidents. In a recent incident which I had the opportunity to observe, the first arriving EMT person took a brief look, and commented in a rather bored tone to his crew - "Another naked lady in the bathroom - bring the cart."

Routine happening.

John

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 02:09 PM

So the EMT says to the ER doctor, "Have you ever seen one one of these before?"
Doc says,"Oh, yes. I've seen quite a few. But I've never seen one FRAMED!"

Bwahahaha!

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: GUEST,saulgoldie
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 02:11 PM

D'oh! I just read the long pome and realized I had been beaten to the punch!

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 04:35 PM

Oh, and while we're debunking urban myths, diabetes is not caused by PTSD.

Aloha,
Mark

(not moonlighting as a lawyer--especially not an unethical one, and ESPECIALLY not an imaginary unethical one.)

Subject: RE: BS: And the Moral here is......uh...er,uh...
From: mack/misophist
Date: 06 Nov 05 - 09:41 PM

It may be a hoax, but Reuters is carrying it.