BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..

Subject: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST,Willard the Dillard
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 05:47 PM

What if it's true???

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 05:53 PM

Willlard, you need to get out more....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST,Willard the Dillard
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 05:58 PM

It's dangerous out there, Liz. I just go out for necessary provisions at the grocery, and I always purchase the latest Weekly World News. They keep me well informed.

Check this out, for example:

Eat more daily and save the world!!!

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: wysiwyg
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 06:02 PM

I think my husband coined a new term this week-- "going yahoo" over something, as in "freak out."

Pron. YAH-hoo.

Usage: "The committee were having a nice, adult conversation when suddenly, one of them went all yahoo on me."

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: frogprince
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 07:03 PM

And, from the same great source, a pick-up line I may just have to try: "I'll be honest. I'm a frog and only a kiss from you can remove the curse and turn me into a prince. Let me just explain exactly where on me you need to kiss for it to be effective."

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 07:07 PM

"What if it's true???"

Then you wasted $5.00.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST,Willard the Dillard
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 07:12 PM

You're worried about money at a time like this? Give me a break! We are being invaded by aliens posing as prostitutes and all you can think about is...

Wait a minute.

Did you say 5 dollars??????

Where the hell do you live anyway? They cost way more than that around here.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 07:19 PM

LOL

Comparison shopping.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: bobad
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 07:31 PM

♫ When you ask what's the blues
Well I'll tell you if I can
It's a ten dollar woman
God almighty now
And a five dollar man ♫

Patrick Sky

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: frogprince
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 07:38 PM

Maybe that's what I really encountered once in the "uptown" area of Chicago. She, or it, tried to hustle me as I went from a drugstore to my car. She was emaciated, deeply wrinkled, her hair was long, tangled, and filthy, and the few teeth she had were of a remarkable variety of colors. When I pulled away from her she snarled, "What's the matter, don't you like white women?"

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST,Willard the Dillard
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 07:40 PM

There's a lot people should know about. Like this, for example:

I bet you didn't know this!

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST,Amber Skye
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:00 PM

As a professional working girl who is also an alien agent, and proud of it, I wish to advise potential Johns (customers, for the uninitiated) that any hooker in North America who offers her services for $10 or less is not, I repeat, not an alien agent. We never charge less than $250, and that's rock bottom. We have an interplanetary espionage system to support here, don't forget. It could be dangerous to your health to engage sexual services from complete strangers in such a low price bracket. No joke. It's a jungle out there.

Speaking of which, I was approached by a chimpanzee the other day in Chicago, Illinois! Quite a surprise. He looked almost dapper in his trenchcoat and fedora, but his shoes needed polishing. He turned out to be smarter and more likeable than most of my human customers, although that's not saying a lot.

The information we have gathered thus far suggests that the only real problem this planet has is that it is overrun with vermin called human beings. We intend to do something about that, as soon as we have wrapped up the situation on Retulna. That's another planet. It's not in your system. We're converting it into an interplanetary rest stop.

Anyway, DON'T purchase sex for $10 or less! It's not safe.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: snarky
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:10 PM

LH morphs again...

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:13 PM

"But don't expect the little hero to rest on his laurels after bagging one of history's most evil men. White House sources say the president is so delighted with Bat Boy's success, he's ordered the patriotic freak to be dispatched to locate another fugitive fiend: Osama Bin Laden."

From here.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:16 PM

Here's some vital info...

How to fight space aliens...

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:18 PM

"LONDON - Star Trek's Capt. Kirk was right after all - you CAN beat the average space alien to a pulp in a fair fight!"

Fair fight? LOL. Fair means I walk away without a scratch, f#ck the other guy, pardon me.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST,Willard the Dillard
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:20 PM

That stuff about Bat Boy is totally true. 110% true. It's gospel. He is probably the best hope we have left to save this planet.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:21 PM

No doubt there, WtD.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:26 PM

Are we to interpret the above post by Amber Skye to mean that Chongo finally got some from a human woman? And then she turned out to be an alien instead? Oh, the irony of it all!

Hey, Chongo! Nice try!

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:33 PM

LOL!!! Yeah, it's sad, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: GUEST,The Deli Lama
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:46 PM

The space aliens I'm most worried about? The Klingon-Ferengi alliance that has taken over the U. S. government within recent years.

The Deli Lama

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Peace
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 08:52 PM

So, this spacecraft crashes in front of a deli. The alien goes in and points to an item and says, "I'd like the spare tire." The owner says, "That's a bagel." Alien says, "Oh. What do you do with it?" Owner says, "Y'eat it." Alien takes a bite and says, "You, know, this would go good with lox and cream cheese."

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Skivee
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 11:08 PM

Outside of the atmosphere the aliens craft would use engines that work cosmic lines of force into a fenzy.
But nearer the ground that would be LOx and Liquid Hydrogen, not cream cheese.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: number 6
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 11:21 PM

"Suzie Creamcheese, oh baby, what's got into you"

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: number 6
Date: 17 Jan 06 - 11:34 PM

"Did you pick up on that?

Creamcheese..."


sIx

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 01:23 PM

Check this out:

The Iranian Camel

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 01:54 PM

$250? $250? IF I was so inclined, I'd be freakin out too. $250? Ya gotta fuckin crazy.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: number 6
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 01:56 PM

Good one L.H !! LOL

I must admit I was well onto the 2nd paragraph before it dawned on to me .... really good, thanks for posting it.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Peace
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 02:42 PM

If he sells it by weight, some charity is gonna win big time.

Subject: RE: BS: More exciting stuff to freak out about..
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jan 06 - 03:24 PM

That explains the perfectly atrocious shriek of agony when he passed it...

I think he's earned the $25,000.

Now what about those Iranians, eh? What nice people to offer the USA that wooden camel. I think we are on the verge of a whole new era in friendly relations with the mullahs...