BS: The right to be bland and inoffensive

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 07:43 PM

Bee-Dubya, how do you know how embarassing those incidents involving barnyard animals are?

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Cluin
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 07:40 PM

Chant of the defensive:

What do we want?
None of yer damn business!
When do we want it?
Git th' hell off mah land!

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Dead Horse
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 07:31 PM

Chant of the inoffensive...
What do we want?
Err, nothing at all really, thank you.
When do we want it?
Oh, err, anytime will do. No hurry.

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Janie
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:31 PM

Oh Dear, Mr. Cuddlesmore,

Please accept my apologies for allowing your neice to get on my computer. It is very embarrassing. Please, please don't be offended.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Janie
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:28 PM

Dear Uncle Wilfred,

I hope you are not offended, but I think you should probably not talk to people who mess around much with barnyard animals. Barnyard animals are very nice, I'm sure, but they smell--please forgive me for being so blunt---like a barnyard. Also, (and I fear I am being terribly bold in saying this), people who s-p-e-l-l out their initials are also probably best to be avoided.

Again, I don't want to seem presumptious or bold in giving you this advise. I hope I haven't hurt your feelings.

Best Regards from your neice,

Wilhelmia

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: GUEST,Cluin
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:27 PM

But I like the thread title as it is. Changing it would offend me.

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:18 PM

Dear sweet Wilfred,

You may post a message to the help forum and the nice forum moderator or his worthy assistants will repair your little boo-boo. I know because I did precisely the same thing once when I couldn't log on and had to post as a GUEST. It was very embarassing.   Not as embarassing as being caught in a compromising situation with a barnyard animal, and certainly not as embarassing as being caught in a compromising situation with a male barnyard animal, but pretty embarassing just the same. Oops! Hope that didn't offend anyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 10:07 PM

He will answer the telephone in a very polite non-obtrusive manner and be NICE. bin Laden is going to call him with his height.

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:40 PM

I can hear the giant sound of a stunned silence on the other end of the line, Rapaire... ;-) What will Wilfred do now??????

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:36 PM

Well, I certainly am offended with your obvious deception. My friends will call upon you and, as the challenged party, you can have the choice of swords or pistols.

Subject: RE: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: GUEST,Wilfred Cuddlesmore
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:17 PM

OH DEAR! I got the title of this thread mixed up with my name somehow. This is disturbing. The thread is supposed to be called: "the right to be bland and inoffensive" I am Guest, Wilfred Cuddlesmore.

What should I do? Someone may well be offended by this faux pas on my part.

Subject: BS: Wilfred Cuddlesmore
From: GUEST,The right to be bland and inoffensive
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 08:53 PM

I've been thinking about this for some time. I think it might be a good idea to secure legal rights for people to be bland and inoffensive in public places. As things stand right now, there is a lot of intolerance out there toward the bland and inoffensive, such as myself and most of my friends, and I am a bit worried about that. Is it right that I should fear that my inoffensiveness may offend or draw public criticism, and thereby be compelled to pretend a stridency and severity of opinion which I do not feel? I note that most humor and most drama is focused around extremes of behavior. This causes the bland and inoffensive people in society to feel left out. Not that I'm upset about it. No, I wouldn't go so far as to say that. I'm just a little concerned. I am willing to bend over backwards to tolerate offensive people of every kind, so why should they not be required by law to tolerate me?

To put it another way, why can't we all just be huggy and nice to one another? If everyone on this forum were to join a Care Bears circle and practic mutual respect and tolerance for at least an hour each day, I feel that much could be achieved.

Growing jade plants is a good way to achieve blandness. Jade plants are totally nice in every way. They have no opinions and no prejudices. They never disagree with anyone. If we were all to commune with a jade plant on a daily basis and learn to emulate its calm acceptance of life, think how it would improve this forum.

But I'm not suggesting that anyone change for me. No indeed. That would be pushy. Pushiness is not in my blood. Cuddlesmores have always made a point of getting along with everyone and seeing the good in all people.

I have a huge collection of recordings by the Carpenters and the Captain & Tenille and Terry Jacks. It would be really nifty to get together with other Catters sometime and listen to those great songs for a whole weekend.

Well, those are my thoughts for today. I hope I didn't offend anyone.