For sale - folk song collector

Subject: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Dan Druff
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:18 PM

For sale

Folk song collector, shop-soiled and somewhat foxed

Take advantage of this exceedingly rare opportunity to acquire your very own folk song collector. This model was produced by the MacColl factory in the 1960s and carries the serial number TCG 666. Of late the item has shown various signs of dysfunction, including a loss of critical faculties, incipient Tourette's Syndrome and an almost complete literacy breakdown, however replacement plug-in modules are readily available from most leading electronics retailers and Argos. For those familiar with the MacColl range this version does not need key operation but is usually fully wound up and raring to go at any given opportunity, though there are some minor wiring problems with its rant on/off switch. Although be warned that, along with other MacColl products, it responds with extreme violence to accompaniment in any form and should also not be taken to any traditional music session where instruments beginning with the letter 'b' or accordions in any form might be played.

All reasonable offers considered, including shipping in a hermetically sealed trunk from Clare.

Please contact Pat Mackenzie, Amadán Mór, Miltown Maggot, Co. Clare, Ireland for further details or email [e-mail].

No timewasters or Karl Dallas, please.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Azizi
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:23 PM

Having a bad hair day, hun?

Join the fun below the line where you belong!

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Azizi
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:23 PM

An btw, kudos on your wit.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,ClaireBear
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:25 PM

I am interested but have some questions:

Are its storage media in working order and accessible via standard interface methods?

Is it forward-compatible with more recent technology?

And please let us know about its power and environmental requirements...

Claire

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:34 PM

S/be Fred Dallas.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Dan Druff
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 01:40 PM

Thanks, Claire, for your enquiry.

The model does not have any integral storage facilities but relies on tapes 'borrowed' from various resources over the last forty years.

It is incapable of being integrated with any new technology produced since the electric toothbrush and is only capable of backward modulation.

The item is power-sourced by volcanic eruptions, mostly self-generated. It is extremely unfriendly towards any environment.

Dan

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: artbrooks
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 03:49 PM

Does this model integate readily (or at all) with commonly utilized older forms of written media such as, for example, the Blue Book?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Charley Noble
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:38 PM

Alternative energy sources? If one had a source of methane, is there an appropriate interface or orifice?

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: open mike
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 04:44 PM

is the required key compatible with a roller skate key?
or is it a key lime?

what is the general method of retrieving stored information
from the included data collection system?

Can the song collection abilities be conducted without detection?
Is the sale final or is there a possible rent-to-own feature?
Is the operating system authorized to pass international
customs scrutiny?

is the shipping by C.O.D. or C.O.B.H. (cash on the barrel head)?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 06 - 05:46 PM

COD COBH???

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: jacqui.c
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 07:46 AM

Does it GO? (Nudge nudge, wink wink)

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 07:57 AM

A folksong MacCollector by any chance?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 08:19 AM

But is it authentic?
Can you prove provenance?
A couple of days back I saw on telly a duo created on telly's "The X-Factor" a duo singing (or probably miming to) "The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face". If it is a true McColl, it should be turning in its grave. You can tell if it is in good condition by the RPM.

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 01:53 PM

The item is certainly authentic and bears the EM/PS seal on its rear. However, despite numerous attempts, it has proved impossible to integrate the item with any more recently produced machinery. Indeed, the item gurgles rather alarmingly at the prospect and repeatedly utters the words 'Sing us another one, Mouldy'.

Its storage system is primitive and it remains incapable of holding more than 20 songs at a time before losing its capability of distinguishing between traditional song and music hall stuff.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 02:49 PM

Does it come with the Lomax Factor?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: melodeonboy
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 08:19 PM

The Lomax Factor - which is said to increase the atmospheric tolerance of the model - is a bolt-on which incurs extra rental charges. There is also the Lomax multi-lingual bolt-on, which is offered free to customers signing a twelve-month agreement for the standard Lomax Factor.

(Terms and conditions apply. Remember your folk song collector may be at risk if monthly payments are not maintained. The value of your collector is not guaranteed and may fall as well as rise.)

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 23 Mar 06 - 08:25 PM

But does it tolerate Max Factor?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 09:16 AM

I would advise that for the best adjustment of a Bolt-on, it has been recommended that it should be fitted by an Oldham Tinker.....
ref:- Oldham, Bolt-on (Ashton -underlined): Manchester press, 1890.

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 10:47 AM

A question of aesthetics, too: is it pretty? Has the original veneer/patina been preserved AND its svelte looking design? I've heard tales of how some of these models bulge a bit with overuse. Of course, what's inside is what really matters, but as a collector of such, one would want to keep up (original)appearances as much as possible in order to maintain authenticity.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Pat Mckenzie
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 11:49 AM

I have some experience with this make of folk song collector, and pretty is not an adjective anyone would use. The model in question is prone to swivel its head in 360 degree turns and vomit multiple reel to reel copies of The Song Carriers. It is also liable to start long boring arguments, usually with people it has managed to pin into corners, from which there is no escape. The TCG 666 model folksong collector does not unfortunately come with an off switch.

However, mention of the names Fred McCormick and Geoff Wallis, or the words Musical Traditions, send it spasms of ectoplasms and fits of paroxysms, but has remarkably so far failed to burst.

From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 10:47 AM

A question of aesthetics, too: is it pretty? Has the original veneer/patina been preserved AND its svelte looking design? I've heard tales of how some of these models bulge a bit with overuse. Of course, what's inside is what really matters, but as a collector of such, one would want to keep up (original)appearances as much as possible in order to maintain authenticity.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 01:24 PM

Well at least it's got a sturdy box then? Or, too many dangly bits for that?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Pat McKenzie
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 01:47 PM

No. It is a sturdy box. Very thick.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 05:08 PM

But are there any dangly bits?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 08:05 PM

Oh - just cut them off...

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Pat McKenzie
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 05:20 AM

None that you would be bothered with, and certainly nothing that works.


Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: jacqui.c
Date: 24 Mar 06 - 05:08 PM



But are there any dangly bits?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 05:43 AM

I am somewhat distressed at the exclusion of Karl Dallas (aka The Poison Dwarf) Just what has the wee man done to deserve such a slight?
G. ☺

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Dan Druff
Date: 25 Mar 06 - 02:41 PM

I welcome all the interest regarding my original advertisement, but am still awaiting any genuine offers.

The original version of the TCG 666 did not include any 'dangly bits' and subsequent Health and Safety legislation ruled out any possible adaptation of the model. However, I am aware that Japanese copyists did produce a pirated version which incorporated a plug which could be directly connected to the nearest karaoke machine. Sadly, said reproducers had failed to take account of the model's vocal ineptitude and the first 'plugging in' produced a version of 'Dirty Old Town' which not only led to the Tokyo police clearing streets in the vicinity, but a red alert in the White House.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Pat McKenzie
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 06:35 AM

No. No dangly bits. No erect bits either. However the TCG 666 did come complete with its own Uher 4000 Stereo Report reel to reel tape recorder, which it is reportedly capable of using, and of changing the tapes. However, as reel to reel tapes have been virtually unobtainable these twenty years pats, this particular function is as useless as the rest of its equipment.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: jacqui.c
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 07:39 AM

OK - I'll offer 50 pence to take it off your hands.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 08:03 AM

Clarify that jacqui c is that what you're prepared to pay him, or what you want him to pay you?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Severn
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 09:17 AM

Does it have have the Factory ReColl Warranty and Total ReColl Memory still in effect? Are the Go Move and Shift keys still operable? Is it Child-safe? Tinker-proof? Can it get through customs into the US? Or is Jaqui in for a Hell-sprung minor disaster?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Pat McKenzie
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 12:11 PM

Anyone buying this clinking clanking heap of rusting junk would be in for a hell sprung major disaster.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Mar 06 - 11:47 PM

... or possibly a non-stop recital of all of them...

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Tinker
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 03:21 AM

Tinker-proof????? Original appearance is not as important as the maintanaence of function. As there are no functional dangly bits, and it's plug in capabilities are subject to erratic ineptitude .... I'm not sure this item falls into the manipulative skills of the Tinker.

Jacqui, I think you may have this one without visitation rights.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 04:05 AM

I would be interested. I have started a collection. I already have a Simon version but that one seems to be broke. All the songs it collects seem to change into contemporary re-writes. The Copper version I have is very nice but tends to drone on for hours on end. I also have a very old one in C Sharpe - But that one alters all the rude words to fol-de-rol!

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Mary
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 04:42 AM

Come on boys. Surely you mean a non-stop recital of the virtues of Ewan MacColl.

Love Mary.

... or possibly a non-stop recital of all of them...

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 06:20 AM

Well Mary there is a school of thought that postulates, were you to set aside an hour to extol the virtues of Ewan McColl, how would you fill the other 55 minutes?
Giok

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 08:06 AM

Giok:

Re attached bill for one replacement keyboard...

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 09:41 AM

Much of this banter is, I think, a cultural expression of what folks do when they discover that their mentors are/were not gods, that they had human frailties, were rude and biased, sometimes dead wrong, produced methane gas in prodigious volumes, were unfaithful to the wives/husbands/lovers, ignored their children, and occasionally refreshed their failing memories by consulting the BLUE BOOK.

That being said, I still greatly appreciate the work and talent of Ewan MacColl (as he preferred to be called) and still treasure his recordings.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Bemusedpunter
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 10:38 AM

Giok,

Be fair. It would take a least a minute and a quarter.

Love, Mary.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 11:59 AM

Ah Charlie you said work and talent of Ewan McColl, Mary said virtues!
G. ☺

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Dan Druff
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 01:01 PM

Since I have not received a single worthwhile offer for this exceedingly rare item I have decided to call it quits.

At 6pm tomorrow, that's GMT, the vast bulk of the MacColl TCG 666 will be hauled up to the highest point above the Cliffs of Moher.

There will be a short commemorative service, conducted by the Right Reverend James Carroll, Bishop of Lesser Trivia - one of the very unfamiliar islands off Papua New Guinea - and then the now redundant apparatus will be hurled into the sea. Many of us are hoping that the Bishop will commit self-immolation by jumping shortly afterwards, but, if not, we have at numerous volunteers willing to give him a push.

Now, once that's done, I also have an exceedingly rare Moulden 2-stroke walnut veneer collection module on offer. Any offers?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 01:18 PM

6PM Tomorrow GMT? Did you forget to put your clocks forward Dan?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Bemusedpunter
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 01:35 PM

the Right Reverend James Carroll, Bishop of Lesser Trivia is always way behind the times. He also suffers fom a delusion that he is Ewan MacColl.

Since Dan Druff has turned this forum into a bring and buy sale, I have a Munnelly model Garden Gnome which I am anxious to dispose of. Any reasonable offer wil be accepted. However, purchasers should be aware that this make of gnome is extremely cantankerous and cannot exist without a very large axe to grind.

Love,

Mary
XXX

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 07:05 PM

"cannot exist without a very large axe to grind"

Sure it is not a Troll?

Subject: RE: For sail off cliff - folk song collector
From: Severn
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 07:37 PM

Sorry, Tinker! I didn't mean to exclude you. Or anybody else's handle I ever unconsciously stepped on while attempting a pun.....

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Mar 06 - 08:11 PM

Sigh! Insanity wins again. ;~)

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Purple Foxx
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 01:45 AM

Look on the bright side Charley, nobody satirizes the unimportant.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 08:11 AM

... so you must be a threat to somebody...

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Celicia Gonzales Seosamh Ó hEanaí Sean South
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 08:51 AM

From Celicia Gonzales Seosamh Ó hEanaí Sean South-Smith.

Dear Sirs and Madames,

As founder, Director, Chief Executive, Secretary and sole member of the environmental group World Watch, I wish to protest against the proposed siting of a TCG 666 model folksong collector in the Atlantic ocean, convenient to the Cliffs of Moher.

It is true that this make of folksong collector is outmoded and readily replaced by newer, more efficient models; EG., the urbane Ian Russell version, or one of the many as yet un-certificated American varieties.

However, this siting, if initiated, would represent a clear violation of European directive HMYC-232765987/09987543/0-843298754327-LIAUDSFUYG No 10. It would also undermine various test ban treaties, umpteen Save The Whale campaigns, at least three British parliamentary attempts to ban the hunting of live foxes, and very likely keep George Bush awake at night.

To explain the situation in lay person's terms. The cognitive processes of the TCG 666 model folksong collector are so inefficiently connected that to dump one in the ocean would have a worse effect on the marine environment than all the chemical pollutants, oil spillages, sewage dumping, nuclear waste and smelly people swimming in the sea put together. To make matters worse, the TCG 666 in question is actually the Jimmy Carroll version. In this type, which fortunately is unique to Miltown Meltdown, the undesirable features which are built into most TCG's are magnified beyond all proportion.

Of all the folksong collectors ever constructed, only the Munnelly garden gnome variety represents a greater threat to human sanity and sanctity.

It is true that the TCG 666 model folksong collector is of a particularly repugnant construction, that it is pompous, arrogant and opinionated and liable to explode at any given second, that it is devoid of any sense of humour and possesses ferocious litigious tendencies, that its scholastic abilities are considerably less than zero, and that it has an ego which would dwarf King Kong. Also, its sensory perceptions are severely hampered by un-removable blinkers

Nevertheless, its anus is in full working order, as anyone who has tried to argue with it will readily testify. Also, when tested to see whether it could distinguish between a music hall song and a folksong, the TCG 666 model folksong collector scored a positive rating of 2 above zero. It has not unfortunately been considered safe to carry out similar tests with country and western songs.

The Science Museum in London has long lacked an attraction to compete with that of the massive Dinosaurus Diplodocus, which adorns the Central Hall of the nearby Natural History Museum.

Therefore, I propose that this threat to humanity and world peace be presented to the Science Museum. There it can be rendered harmless by the museum's scientific staff, before being stuffed and mounted in a bomb proof glass cage, along with a multi-media slide show depicting the TCG 666's endeavours at folksong collecting.

Yours Sincerely,

Celicia Gonzales Seosamh Ó hEanaí Sean South-Smith

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Dan Druff
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 12:44 PM

Sorry, folks, but the TCG 666 made a resounding splash in the water just below O'Brien's Tower last night and instantly sank without trace.

However, rummaging through my boxes I discovered a Daithi O Cronin prototype collector. This has never been properly tested and probably needs considerable work before use. I'd be very willing to swap it for a bag of peanuts and a new cage for the canary.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: artbrooks
Date: 28 Mar 06 - 01:53 PM

Oh dear...is that the one that only knows "Danny Boy" and "Toora Loora Loora"?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 29 Mar 06 - 04:01 AM

We had a budgie which repeated every song you sung in front of it. Lousy at putting the dots on the paper though!
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: open mike
Date: 18 Jul 06 - 10:12 AM

perhaps there is a "looking for" or "wanted" thread
that is a good answer to this one...or a good question for it?

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 18 Jul 06 - 11:05 AM

Which version (or how many versions) of The Unfortunate Rake does it contain? Does it do a serious discussion of where the different musical lines of Soldiers Joy may come from? Does it pontificate on modal tunings? Seems to me these are all methods of discerning authenticity as good as any others suggested here. Whose Pretty Polly tune does it use?         Tw

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jul 06 - 12:51 PM

If anyone actually wants any of these models, I know where you can get some reel-to-reels cheap. I just freecycled about a hundred of them.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: open mike
Date: 19 Jul 06 - 05:37 AM

don't you love freecycle?? i got some friendship cake batter today
and some 78's and 33's and 45..
am not planning on collecitng 8 tracks or wax cylinders or ...wire....

and some stick bugs boy are they wierd..

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 19 Jul 06 - 06:10 AM

Can anyone tell me if this is the model that uses cassette tape as a source medium rather than those tiresome field trips. If so, I may have a quantity of useful recordings of source (or sauce) material. I am assured that the bleed through can be eliminated with modern equipment.

On the other hand, if this is the model that requires regularly topping up with excessive amounts of alcohol in dubious hostelries then I can be of no further assistance.

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jul 06 - 02:32 PM

Subject: RE: For sale - folk song collector
From: GUEST,Jeremy
Date: 25 Jul 06 - 09:32 AM

HEY, TANNY WHEELER!!!

I noticed on the 'Yellow Gal' thread, your mention of your mother, Hally Wood. Well, MY mother is interested in one of YOUR mother's recordings. It's her version, on Elektra, I think, of George Whitefield's song "Oh, Lovely Appearance of Death". Mom remembers it fondly from her school days at Cal, when she worked in a Berkeley record store.

I've tried to find a copy, with no success. It seems not to have been re-issued. Any suggestion?

Thanks,
Jeremy
[e-mail]