BS: I claim the record!

Subject: BS: I claim the record!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 May 06 - 02:46 PM

In response to a question on another thread about the record for the fastest response to a question I have decided to set the record myself by answering a question that has not even been asked yet.

Blue

Six and seven eigths

During a flight from Kurdistan to Illinois.

There. I win.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 May 06 - 02:48 PM

You forgot 'standing up in a hammock' Dave!
G

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Bert
Date: 22 May 06 - 02:49 PM

Ah Dave. Even that has been done before.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 06 - 03:21 PM

I have just answered a question that not only hasn't been asked yet, but never will be asked or even thought of.

So there.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Peace
Date: 22 May 06 - 03:24 PM

"I claim the record!

What will you play it on, what with CDs and DVDs being all the rage these days?

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 May 06 - 03:39 PM

Sorry Rapaire, but you are showing evidence that you fail to understand the traditional method of engineers all around the world:

"If you can't write the equations, you don't understand the problem!"

The MANTRA of the good engineer.

You can NEVER ASK the question properly until the answer is formulated as an equation.

Of course getting the final numbers may take a horrible mess of cranking on the computeralizers, but the equation always comes first, and is - in it's essence - the answer.

Since you have now, albeit inadvertently, associated yourself with the technogeek process, you will likely find the benefits of membership in that elite group will be immediately forthcoming:

1. Attractive young ladies will flee in terror at your approach.

2. More ordinary young ladies will do even worse by yawning whenever you come near.

3. You will have the supernatural ability to make listeners eyes glaze over simply by reciting numbers with three decimal places (Most people are "glaze factor three," and three decimal places will make them comatose. They have potential as managers and administrators. Persons of glaze factor 4 are suited for training in arithmetic and sometimes simple algebra but are often even more boring than you are.)

4. People who proudly show you their latest wheeled toy will be offended when you explain that "twist that thar' screw a quarter turn to the left and you'll get upties more horsepower.

5. (Former) friends will seek your advice when something needs fixed, but will cease inviting you to their parties.

....

The list goes on, but you've earned it.

John

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 06 - 03:58 PM

But, I'm not an engineer. Not a ramblin' wreck, not a locomotive driver, not even stationary OR stationery. I'm jist a liberryan, a-sittin' out here in Idyho. Therefore, and res ipsas loquitur, the rules don't apply to me.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Bill D
Date: 22 May 06 - 04:00 PM

shucks, I once answered a question on a TV quiz program before they asked it!

It was in the category of "famous battles" and there were several levels of difficulty, so, in front of two witnesses, I said "I'll take the 2nd level (double your bet) and the answer is "Thermopylae". Sure enough, the contestant chose the 2nd level, and the question started..." In what battle did a few Greek soldiers hold of an army of Persians..."

I got some strange looks and a "how did you know what they were gonna ask?"

Inductive logic!

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: MMario
Date: 22 May 06 - 04:26 PM

*I* claim this record in the Name of Her Most Gracious Majesty Elizabeth Tudor; By the Grace of God, Queen of England, France, Ireland, Fidie Defensor; Supreme govornour of the Church of England. God Save the Queen!

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Bert
Date: 22 May 06 - 05:31 PM

Reminds me of the time when Frank Muir was on steam radio and they had this game.

This is the answer, what was the question?

The answer was 'Blemish'

The question turned out to be ....
















'What language do they speak in Felgium'

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 22 May 06 - 07:08 PM

JohnInKansas

I bid you welcome to the 'glaze factor 10' club!

I've been deglazing for some years - using alcohol of course - and am no wdown to about 'glaze factor 7'.... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: frogprince
Date: 22 May 06 - 09:22 PM

Bert, you must be older than me. From my earliest memory, our radios all ran on electricity. (Batteries, actually, when I was very young, as we didn't have a power line to our farm yet.) I've seen a steam clock, in Vancouver, but I never knew there were steam radios.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 May 06 - 06:11 AM

I like the Blemish one:-) Kind of like the answer '9W'.

The question is...

'Do you spell your name with a 'V' Herr Wagner?'

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: skipy
Date: 23 May 06 - 06:33 AM

1, What is the colour of the outer ring of the RAF roundel?
2, What is the average size (imperial) of an RAF berry?
3, When have you ever used the urinal on an RAF 130 Hercules?
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 May 06 - 07:32 AM

Damn! How did you get it so quick, skip? You hold the record for asking the questions that no-one else would dare to...

BTW - Is that an RAF raspberry or an RAF strawberry?

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: skipy
Date: 23 May 06 - 08:04 AM

Blueberry
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: autolycus
Date: 23 May 06 - 03:26 PM

Here's aquestion that might slow you down a bit.



   What is the answer to this question?





    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: MMario
Date: 23 May 06 - 03:30 PM

change the interogative to a declarative.

'What' is the answer to this question.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: GUEST,Cluin
Date: 23 May 06 - 03:33 PM

Shut up, that's what.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 23 May 06 - 03:40 PM

Dave - skipy rather beat me to it , I was going to say you only got two out of three !
Q1 . My favourite colour .

Q2. My hat size .

Q3. (the one you got wrong) Where did I lose My Virginity - was on a totally different flight !!

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Dead Horse
Date: 23 May 06 - 04:42 PM

Its far too noisy on an 'Erc to tell if virginity was lost or not.
I was transported in one o' dem kites from RAF Gutersloe to Belfast and it was among the worst bloody hours of my life.
Sittin in a bleedin' web harness with absolutely no sound proofing from the bleedin' engines, and the stewardesses were bleedin' ugly as sin.
AND it was my birthday too. AND it was the 1st anniversary of Bloody Sunday, so I reckoned we were in for a right good welcome to boot!!!
(I survived) (just)

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 06 - 06:53 PM

You oughta be in one outfitted and firing as a Puff gunship if you want noise. Sounds like a huge, very noisy, zipper.

The answer to the question is already given. It's "Ivor."

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: skipy
Date: 23 May 06 - 07:00 PM

I have flown in many of them , but the best 2 flight where when I had to leap out from 2000+ into the sea!

1000



2000



3000




check canopy



Skipy.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 06 - 07:02 PM

Was your chute on upside down or something?

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 May 06 - 07:07 PM

I record the claim*.


*The fee will be £37.90, or the permenant decomissioning of all banjo, bodhran and sqeezebox jokes in your posession.

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Leadfingers
Date: 23 May 06 - 07:38 PM

??? £37.90 ??? Bankruptcy again !!!

AND it was a flight of Fancy !!

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: autolycus
Date: 24 May 06 - 03:05 AM

MMario - changing the question is no answer, methinks.

   You're not a politician are you?




    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 24 May 06 - 04:16 AM

Who is number one?

You are number six.

Never realised till the end of the series. Still, I was only a teenager.

:D (tG)

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Wolfgang
Date: 24 May 06 - 04:47 AM

DtG,

this has already been done years ago by someone else. So it's not a new record. But since the last time the response came a few minutes before the question you still could wait a day or a week or a month or a year before asking the question.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: I claim the record!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 24 May 06 - 03:33 PM

Yes

No

Jurgen Klinsman