BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 09:20 PM

Ah yes, SINSULL, must be time to get out my ole reindeer in a rocking chair that rocks and sings that song. I managed to drive a lot of people crazy playing that last year! And you think YOU have a lot of kitsch! Tho I must admit I don't have a headless Jesus ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 06:30 PM

You CANNOT have Christmas without seeing...the truth...if you can handle it....

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 06:10 PM

And Christina Ricci made #3 on PETA's worst dressed list for the year by wearing dead reindeer skins for a fashion shoot.

Not a very joyous season for those Santa's helpers, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 11:20 AM

Grandma got run over by a reindeer...

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 11:15 AM

That doesn't seem to make any difference around here, Liz. I live in a similar area, and some of our more famous streets are already well lit up. More to come too. They haven't started in my street yet. It only takes one - I think some of them are waiting to see who will go first, but if previous years are any guide, once they start, there'll be no stopping them. I reckon they'll be out climbing all over their houses this weekend.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:44 AM

It was a busy weekend round here.... lots of houses now resemble a cross between the lighting department of B&Q and 'Inflatable Excresences R Us'.... there are some truly ghastly arrangements of light strings, inflatable snowmen, santas and reindeer, and the odd flashing train.... sometimes it's good to live in an area with a lot of Muslim households!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 07:32 AM

Dear GUEST,Finnish history teacher...

You have good English - but it has apprently missed your notice that many of us here do already know most of this, and were being cynically humourous - the same as we are every year.... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST,Finnish history teacher.
Date: 05 Dec 06 - 01:33 AM

I think Anti-Santa campaign is only a media circus caused
by those activist groups who desparately lust for attention.

If we look to their "facts" that they use to make their
arguments true - we see that these "facts" are
A) misleading and B) completely wrong...

For instance:

SANTA WAS INVENTED BY COCA-COLA IN 1930
This is terribly wrong... Santa Claus is based in
old pagan celebrations of the day of sun...

CHRISTMAS WAS THE BIRTHDAY OF CHRIST AND SHOULD NOT BE
DISCRAGED WITH THIS MARKETING JUBILATION...
Again wrong... According to the Bible Jesus were born
somewhere in the late summer or the early autumn.

CHRISTMAS IS ONLY FOR BIG SALES...
Wrong again... Shopping has nothing to do with Christmas...
Its just another phenomena that got involved when our
society changed to the consuming society...

I can still name lots of people who don't think consuming
part of the Christmas,

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 11:32 PM

JENNY O - The Devil Incarnate (perhaps) but NEVER Santa - the photo you posted is evil.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 25 Nov 06 - 01:02 AM

18 Nov 06 - 02:16 AM
But adding HUMBUG is in poor taste until at least after Thanksgiving orgies have been cleaned up.

Thanksgiving having now passed into memories of belly cramps, burps, and other memories, the AntiChristmas season may now formally and correctly begin.

BAH! & HUMBUG!

John

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: pattyClink
Date: 24 Nov 06 - 03:55 PM

Alice, the problem is there are so many season rushers (soccer moms, to wildly generalize) who are eager to do their major gift shopping in October, so they can spend November decorating with the stuff they bought in October and December throwing parties and buying stocking stuffers. Until these idiots stop buying Christmas crap in October, nothing is going to change, no matter how peeved the rest of us get about it.   Right now the merchants have the ideal setup, a long season with various kinds of shoppers, first the eager beavers, then the mainstream, then in the last few days us rational types venture out to buy a few things. They keep refilling the shelves and selling more. Oh, and then the gift-card buyers after the big day. It's like a 9-month baseball season where you get paid by the game!

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 06:19 PM

At least in the States you have the Thanksgiving 'buffer' - we've had Christmas in the shops since August Bank Holiday in some parts of the UK!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Alice
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 02:51 PM

Oh, and another question on the Zogby survey, Do you like the stores having Christmas merchandise displayed before Thanksgiving or should they wait until a date closer to Christmas? I'm really curious about the results of this poll. I wonder if there is a commercial Christmas backlash in the public's mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Emma B
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 12:14 PM

a slight confusion of "icons"?

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Alice
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 11:09 AM

I am one of the people that ZOGBY surveys to do Zogby polling.
Yesterday in my email box I found the latest Zogby survey questions. It related to Christmas shopping, how much money spent, whether it is budgeted, buying online, gift cards versus gifts, regifting, etc., and Am I offended if store clerks say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas" or "Merry Christmas" instead of something more generic like "Happy Holildays". I don't do much for Christmas now that my son has grown up. I was amazed with the questions about spending... do people really have that much money to spend on plastic toys from China, stuff people don't need, electronic games that can bankrupt you? The lowest choice was "spending $100 or less on gifts" my choice, up into the thousands. Good grief. If you have that much money to spare, give it to charity.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 23 Nov 06 - 10:55 AM

I wish to state now that I have not, nor have I ever been "jumped" by anyone called Phil.


There's been 2 Davids, 2 Pauls, an Ian, 3 Jonathans, a Julian, 2 Peters, a Michael and a James. One of them was half Maltese.

There's never been a Reg either, but his name appears on the money too.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Severn
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 08:27 PM

gnu,

My favorite carol reflecting life in Canada was always:


Go tell it to the Mounties
That JEEZUS CHRIST, I'm bored...

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 08:16 PM

Donuel

Some parts of Australia - especially those with colder Winters - have already discovered "Christmas in July"!!!

Great excuse for resturants to put on heavy meals...

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 08:05 PM

Fox news reports that the war on Christmas has started earlier this year than ever before. Happy holiday greetings were reported being seen 2 weeks before Halloween. One such sighting included the message "may the warm hearted spirit of the season last all year long".

Yes the happy holidays/anti Christmas movement is indeed coming earlier every year.

The only way to stop this insideous bastardization of the true meaning of Christmas is to wage a surprise pre emptive attack on warm hearts and happy holidays starting on the 4th of July.

at 2AM.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: pattyClink
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 07:48 PM

Did anybody else have to kill their browser after going to Peace's "Guzer" link?   Bahhumbug I hate grabby sites that won't let you back out!

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 07:15 AM

And A Happy Festival of The Jolly Red Fat Man to All!

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 06:22 AM

Peace -

Same film as at 17 Nov 06 - 12:52 PM

The link there gives a choice of formats.

Required watching every year.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Peace
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:24 AM

Real trees are NOT such a good idea.

Someone else posted this on another thread a few days back, but this is a good place to remind people.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:16 AM

But adding HUMBUG is in poor taste until at least after Thanksgiving orgies have been cleaned up.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:12 AM

Agaaaiiinnnn

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:09 AM

You caaaan saaaay thaaaat aaagaaaain.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 18 Nov 06 - 02:04 AM

BAH!

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 10:59 PM

You're right of course, Kitty. It is jack halyard, otherwise known as John Warner. And he REALLY doesn't like Christmas, or being told he looks like Santa. He even wrote a song about it:

Beard Protest Song.

John Warner - 2 May 2004

I protest! Surely my hirsute features cannot be sufficient cause,
For all the kids in Sydney to call me "Santa Claus"

I don't look a bit like Santa Claus,
My verdict is official,
If the beard on me is all you see,
Then your look's too superficial,
There's Karl Marx and Henry Parkes,
With whom I could be compared,
But its plain to see that you can't see me,
If you just see the big, white beard.

We don't judge folks by the slant of their eyes,
Nor yet the colour of their skin,
You don't match a fella like Nelson Mandela,
With the likes of Idi Amin.
Well I'm the same, I resent the game,
Folks play when they make compare.
It aint no joke, there's a unique bloke,
Beneath this facial hair.

It'd turn me grey what people say,
When I'm strolling around the town,
Why, apart from my belly I could be Ned Kelly,
If my hair was a bit more brown,
W.G. Grace had a barbate face,
Though perhaps not quite as hoary,
And Ho Chi Min's, though a bit more thin,
Was his countenential glory.

So I'm nothing at all like the bloke in the mall,
With the bright red pom-pom hat,
A marketing play from the USA
I'm not, and that is that.
I sing great songs and folk sing along,
I perform to wild applause,
And I'll sing this, chum, ad-nauseum
If you dare say I'm Santa Claus.

So to hell with the henna and the burnt sienna,
And I'm not gonna trim it short,
Go and embarrass that bloke Rolf Harris,
Tie your own kangaroo down sport.
There's more out there than facial hair,
If you need some cause for offence.
Till the day I've died, I'll wear with pride,
This beard on my countenence.

I don't look a bit like Santa Claus,
My verdict is official,
If the beard on me is all you see,
Then your look's too superficial,
There's Karl Marx and Henry Parkes,
With whom I could be compared,
but it's plain to see that you don't see me,
If you just see a big white beard.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: pattyClink
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 09:52 PM

thanks for the flick, JiK. Astounding speed.

we have a lovely little new coffeehouse nearby, nice cool people, what a great contrast from the chain store junk which is everywhere. This MONDAY they had their charming wooden porch rails adorned with garlands and bows. I'm sure its because it's 'traditional' for "Christmas open houses" to be held in the local stores about 5-6 weeks before Christmas. Honestly, it's a sickness.

Our choir is booked for 7 or 8 caroling gigs, the first one is for NOVEMBER 27 and the last one for Dec. 16.    Don't people ever get tired of getting it all 'over with' 10 days before the day actually happens??!?!?!!? Grrrrrrrrh.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: artbrooks
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 05:56 PM

As a traditionalist, I decline to consider christmas or any related things or people until after Thanksgiving Day.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 05:17 PM

Morty...: "You have the Squeak on your money?" Ah, ask Phil if she squeaks. Unless... oh... of course, I see. Confusion with OUR Liz. Well, I could have called her Beth or Betty (she abhors "Betty"... I think it's the Flinstones thing), or, as I really know her, Number Two, but, she prefers "Liz", amongst friends. For the rest of you commoners, it's "Her Royal Majesty, Queen and Protector of The Realm, Guardian of The Flag." Bow and be silent.

PS... That fuckin Phil guy, eh? What a job. Like, how do you luck into that? Jump Betty, get another chest medal? Sweet Jaysus.... great work if you can get it, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: GUEST,mg
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:45 PM

Oh dear. I love Christmas but I get really grouchy over having to do THanksgiving just a month before. I want an inner anti-pumpkin pie. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:42 PM

I followed Jenny O's link, and that's definitely Jack Halyard. No red hat or ho-ho-ho....

Plus, of course, he did nick a carol tune for Bring out the Banners....

Kitty

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:31 PM

Christmas 'could' be a very happy, nice time...and some folks still manages to make it so, but since we have gotten to the point that our very economy depends on it, it has a real image problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 04:28 PM

A Christmas Carol

Christmas time is here, by golly,
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say "when."
Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens,
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore,
There's time to rob him all the more
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations, sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil.
"Just the thing I need! How nice!"
It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is, nor how heartfelt the spirit,
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark the Herald Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God rest ye merry, merchants,
May you make the Yuletide pay.
Angels we have heard on high
Tell us to go out and buy!

So let the raucous sleigh bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky.
Don't stand underneath when they fly by.

Tom Lehrer

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Morticia
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 03:23 PM

You have the Squeak on your money?

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: gnu
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 01:33 PM

Kissmeass shopping season is in full swing here. Like ants on a worm. I get Claustaphobia just thinking about having to go shopping. I was thinking I might just get everyone a gift certificate from the Royal Canadian Mint... the one with the picture of Liz on it. It's the same as spending twice as much before Kissmeass on stuff they don't really need anyway.

I look like Santa, too. Well, when I wear a red hat.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 12:52 PM

In the (anti) spirit of the holidays, someone must offer the famous US Fire Administration Christmas Tree Movie.

The link goes to a page where you may choose any of four different formats for the very brief movie.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Paul Burke
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 12:10 PM

Is that the one with the lines

"She kissed me hardon proper
Afore her flashman came"?

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Mr Happy
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:58 AM

........and away with Santie
My dear auntie
O you nude York girls
Can't you poke the dancer!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: bobad
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:47 AM

Consumer Wonderland

(To the tune of Winter Wonderland, lyrics by Erica Avery)

The TV's on / are you watching?
Another product / that they're hawking
one more thing you need
to make life complete
Welcome to Consumer Wonderland

In the stores / you will hear it
"Pricey gifts / show holiday spirit"
That's what they call it
to get to your wallet
Welcome to Consumer Wonderland

At the mall we can go out shopping
and buy lots of stuff we can't afford
we'll have lots of fun with our new toys
until we realize that we're still bored
When you shop / ain't it thrilling
until / you get the billing
the money you still owe the stuff broke long ago
Welcome to Consumer Wonderland

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:36 AM

Jingle bells, mortar shells,
Charlie in the grass.
Take your Merry Christmas
And stick it up you................

(Old Vietnam Christmas Carol)

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:15 AM

Found this on the web. It's about time, IMO.

"Christmas downsizing

Today's global challenges require the North Pole to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" subsidiary:

The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop forecasted. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.

The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks appear to be in order.

The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.

As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by the EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought. The more militant maids consider this a dead-end job with no upward mobility. Automation of the process may permit the maids to try a-mending, a-mentoring or a-mulching.

Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of international air travel prompted the Compensation Committee to suggest replacing this group with ten out-of-work congressmen. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed congressmen this year.

Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. A substitution with a string quartet, a cut back on new music and no uniforms will produce savings which will drop right down to the bottom line.

We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete, studies indicate that stretching deliveries over twelve days is inefficient. If we can drop ship in one day, service levels will be improved.

Regarding the lawsuit filed by the attorney's association seeking expansion to include the legal profession ("thirteen lawyers-a-suing"), action is pending.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay competitive. Should that happen, the Board will request management to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number."

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Emma B
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:09 AM

Slainté Peace

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Peace
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 11:06 AM

Christmas me arse. Humbug.

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Paul Burke
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 09:21 AM

Oh Anti-Santa gained the day
Hurray, Anti-Santa
General Taylor run away
All on the plains of Mexico

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: Sorcha
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 09:16 AM

Bah HUMBUG!

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: My guru always said
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 03:48 AM

Oh, thanks 'spaw, I'd been wanting to read that again!

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: MBSLynne
Date: 17 Nov 06 - 03:06 AM

Yep...that's Santa alright!

I LIKE Father Christmas. I just hate having the whole thing shoved down my throat (perhaps I should re-phrase that?) from the middle of October. By the time it gets here it's an anti-climax

Love Lynne

Subject: RE: BS: Embrace your inner Anti-Santa
From: JennyO
Date: 16 Nov 06 - 11:33 PM

Oh goody, a site to keep John happy! He hates Christmas, and does not take kindly to being compared to Santa Claus, even though he does look like him.

You be the judge!

If I point him towards this site, maybe it will keep him busy while I get on with ho ho ho-ing and enjoying my Christmas.