BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...

Subject: BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 07:02 PM

Well, well, well...

Seems as if my little buddy, Donnie "I'm a Drunk" has aroused a little interest in the "Bobert's Christmas Story" thread and so I figured that maybe, Donnie "I'm a Drunk" deserved his own thread for the Christmas season...

... so I'm gonna us this thread to tell ya all about my little buddy (4'10" with boots on)...

Story 1:

It was 'bout 16 'er 18 months ago when the P-Vine and I first stayed up here in Pine Grove holler overnight in our new to us house on opur new to us 17 acre farm and, well, the house is just a tad under a quarter of a mile up a windin' dirt (gravel) drive way and completely isolated... I mean, from where we are we can't see anyone and no one can see us... All we see is this big ol' Blue Ridge mountain and woods...

So one would figure that given it's location that me and the P-Vine could reasonably expect to have our privacy, right???

Our first night was a Saturday night and I got up after a rather restless night on the blow-up air mattress we were usin' back then 'bout 7:00 in the am an' had jus brewed up a cup of coffe and walked outside to get a breath of that fine mountain air when...

"Hey, mister" came from the direction of the long driveway and there walkin' up to the house was a rough lookin', bearded, little man with an open beer in one hand and the remnants of a six-pack danglin' from the plastic holder thingie in the other...

"Hi, my name is Donnie," continued this little man as he walked toward me, "and I don't mind tellin' you that I'm a drunk..."

So that's how it all began as he explained that he used to work on the farm with the guy who had owned it beofe this guy's death and also offered to help us...

So much for being isolated???

End of Story 1...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 07:44 PM

To Be Continued ?

Subject: RE: BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 08:10 PM

Yeah, sure, leadster...

I'm gonna add one story every day between now and Christmas and by Christmas there are gonna be a lotta folks here who are gonna be thinkin' "Hey, Bobert has to be makin' this guy up" but...

...no way... Donnie "I'm a Drunk" is perhaps the most colorfull person I have ever met and given my history as a social worker and jailhouse teacher, that is sayin' a lot...

Okay, some days I might have to throw 2 stories in but in the words of Donnie when I drop him off every night at his doublewide back at the end of the holler, I'll "get 'er done, Daddy-O"...

Tell ya all what... bLind rIver ain't got nuthin' on my boy!!! Nuthin'...

But, and this is a big one....

.... I love the guy and wouldn't share anything here with you all that Donnie would find hurtfull... He is not in denial about who he is and drunk or not he'll out work any sober man in the county twice his size so...

... please, no PM's about how I am disrespectin' Donnie 'cause that ain't my intent... He is a trasure that needs to be shared....

Might of fact, tho Donnie only went to school to the 4th grade, he can read some and maybe I'll just run this thread off on Christmas Eve and give it to him... He's got that kinda sense of humor that can appreciate it...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 06 - 11:05 PM

The fact that he is a hard worker places him at the other end of the Galaxy from Shane. However, they seem to have a few things in common.

Subject: RE: BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Dec 06 - 08:10 AM

Not to feal, LH... By the time I've told the stories you'll find that the two would play very nicely with one another provided the beer don't give out...

Subject: RE: BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Dec 06 - 06:58 PM

Well, well, well...

On the Chritmas story thread I talked briefly about Donnie "I'm a Drunk's" love of fire and, well yeah, few years back Donnie was real p.o's with his next door neighbor 'cause this neighbor, who incidently was his drinkin' and smokin' buddy, had a daughter that Donnie kinda liked but who was a pain in her parents side and...

...so they told this girl, who was prolly 'bout 19 and wouldn't work or help out 'round the shack, to hit the road, Jack and this really got the little guy steamed so being good and drunk Donnie "Good 'n Drunk" walked next door, poued a little kerosens on the neighbor's house and lit it up...

Well, the police and fire department came up to the end of the holler and Donnie was cross the Hawksbill Creek yellin' "I told you I was gonna burn it down" as if by sayin' this that it would make everything okay...

The police didn't see it that way and tried to get to him to arrest him but the cops din't grow up in Pine Grove holler and Donnie "I'm a Drunk" got away that night and stayed in one of the various abandoned houses in the holler and for the next 3 months was able to elude the cops with his knowledge of the holler and his wits but...

...they finally cught him and sent him off to think about it for 2 and a half years...

One of the first jobs we had him do was to clean up around our pond and one mornin' the P-Vine woke up and he had the field on fire to clear it... Problem was that fires at that time of year ain't allowed until after 4:00 pm so the fire marshall, who is also Donnies 2nd cousin and the same guy who had put him in jail, came up to the house and I kinda did the "Geeze, I didn't know" and we had some laughs before the fire chief said he was gonna have to give Donnie "The Drunk Firebug" a ticket so I told the fire chief to scare the heck outta Donnie about goin' back to jail and all that...

Well, we had a bll that mornin'... Ended up costin' me a hundred bucks to pay Donnie's fine but at the end of the day Donnie was drunk and all was well... Yeah, we had a few good laughs 'bout how I had gotten the fire chief to mess with him and Donnie din't burn my house down for doin' it to him and that prolly was the beginnin' of our great relationship...

Sniff...

Subject: RE: BS: Donnie 'I'm a Drunk' Stories...
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 06 - 10:27 PM

Sounds like Ernest T. Bass, who is one of the great American poets.