BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off

Subject: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Gulliver
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 07:56 PM

But I have been told the rules have changed. Is this true?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: bobad
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 07:59 PM

Yes, it has now gone metric.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST,JTT
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:01 PM

And you drive on the right.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:10 PM

It's a lot like riding a bicycle......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Don Firth
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:20 PM

Yeah. You never forget how to fall off.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 08:30 PM

The rules are the same, it's just the size and shape of the playing field that's changed.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Joe_F
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 09:13 PM

Eat Bertha's Mussels.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: NH Dave
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 10:28 PM

The rules may not have changed, but the hazards certainly have. AIDS was not the hazard 35 years ago that it is now, and palimony has become an established fact. You live with a person for a while and then split and s/he can often successfully claim some effort to support him/her in the manner that s/he has become accustomed.

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Dec 06 - 10:43 PM

Ha. It is not that rare that a man successfully sues for palimony. (Is the other side called ma

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 12:34 AM

No, it's called galimony. But as you say, it almost never happens. Quite unfair, really.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 12:43 AM

About those things that have changed?

And as they say:

"Marriage is grand. Divorce is about 100 Grand."

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Slag
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 03:43 AM

Do you have anything left to relearn with?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: fat B****rd
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 03:49 AM

Metric or not in male measuring terms this *************************
is still about 8 inches.
Yours averagely C.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 08:46 AM

Relearning sex after 35 yrs off......it's not hard.....maybe that's the problem.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Becca72
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 08:51 AM

No sex at all for 35 years or just with the same person? To put that in perspective, I'll be 35 in a month... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 08:58 AM

"...the rules have changed..."

was that "Gulliver" or "Gullible"

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 09:26 AM

A furtive practice comes in handy!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 09:27 AM

A guitar doesn't look at you funny when you try to remember where to put your hands.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 09:29 AM

But it doesn't purr like it should until you do.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 10:14 AM

Some recent discussion, applicable to both parties to tender relationships, at BS: Should a lady make the first move? (link to 1st 50 of 168 posts).

But we're curious: Did something that's been missing grow back?

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 10:25 AM

Or were you in a coma?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Becca72
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 11:16 AM

Or married?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 11:39 AM

"Returning after 35 years off" rather implies one who is at least 44 years old (if from the hills here). That's about the age at which "available" women begin to outnumber the available men by a significant percentage. The disparity increases fairly rapidly as ages advance - in most populous areas.

That does mean that a woman of that age or older must often learn to be somewhat more aggressive (predatory is another word that comes to mind) to have a reasonable chance of successful hunting.

It also suggests that a male of "mature age," provided that a fair number of fair ones can be found, may choose between being "easily satisfied" or "very afraid."

Males of any age should note that a fair percentage of early marriages last no more than a few years, with hubbies being cast out when they become a bad influence on the children, so young females (20 - 24?), recently divorced, with homes full of squalling brats, may be plentiful. Abject FEAR is recommended should those be encountered by anyone of sensible years. (usually)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 01:53 PM

Maybe. I'd always heard that people that marry young don't stay together. But all my friends who were married young (right out of high school) are still married to the same people. I think there's something to be said for a couple growing up together.

Friends who married when older generally broke up later. Maybe we get too set in our ways to adapt to living with a new person after a while?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 02:19 PM

It may well take longer.

Give thought to how to achieve it without the inherent risks. These may include AIDS and chlamydia, but back then there were the clap and the siph, and the dreaded herpes (What's the difference between love and herpes? Herpes is for ever!)

The risk of pregnancy may well be lower now. THe risk of bankruptcy higher.

Is it worth any ineradicable risk? What is the cost of reducing the risk?

THE mechanics are the same, if the mechanic can still find the spanner

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 02:22 PM

It probably is just that lots of people marry at about 18 - 20, and a percentage of the marriages don't last once the bills pile up and the kids start coming along. (Census figures show a trend toward later first marriages, so maybe that has changed some.)

The eligible males at that age are out partying, and with kids at home many of the females in that group can't really get out and swing with the ones who've remained - or become - single, so they clump up in organized "singles sympathy" groups or other places where they might "meet a man." Especially those who settled for a loser the first time around don't seem too fussy about the next try - and they're often determined to latch on and cling desparately to anyone in sight.

It's not so much that there are that many of them, but they travel in coveys and are into "pack hunting" at the kill.

In my (too) brief single period, it seemed there was a secondary peak in women at around 32 - 35+, which may be when the "7-year itch" hit marrieds (of both sexes) and they start getting bored with what they've had, and/or when those who've always been single begin to hear the bio-clock ticking(?).

Possibly both these groups, if one must generalize, would be a bit youngish for someone who claims 35 years + of being out of the market. Unfortunately a large percentage of more suitably mature women seem to withdraw, in one way or another, and render themselves "unfindable." (Probably having tea together and lamenting the absence of good men.)

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 02:27 PM

I found this radio programme very interesting!
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 02:41 PM

Giok - Yes, very interesting.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 03:58 PM

Relearning sex...

that recalls to me the story of a young social worker in Appalachia who was counseling a troubled pair of newlyweds from deep in the hollers. After several minutes of beating around the bush, so to speak, he realized that they had not yet consumated their marriage. Under further questioning, he realized that they didn't understand the mechanics of copulation. He made another appointment for two days later, and brought in his daughter's Barbie and Ken dolls. As he explained the activity to the astonished couple, he stripped the clothing from the dolls and manipulated them into several intimate positions, finally handing Barbie to the young woman and Ken to the young man, and letting them follow his instruction.
The next morning a knock came on the social worker's door. He opened it, and there stood the young man who, without speaking a word, punched the social worker sending him sprawling on the floor, climbed back into his pickup, and drove away.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:22 PM

and that reminds ME of the young fellow back in the hills who was married to an even younger bride, (he being concerned that HE was her 'one & only'.

Well, the wedding was on Sunday....but on Monday, Zeke came stompin' up to her Daddy's place, dragging Bessie Sue by the arm. Her daddy came out when he heard the ruckus and said,
"Whut's goin' on, Zeke?"

"Waal", says Zeke, "I'm a bringin' her back...she won't do!"

"But, on Sunday you was so happy to be gittin' Bessie Sue!"

"Yeah, but now I don't b'lieve she was a virgin, like you said she was."

"Why in the world would you think that, Zeke?"

"It's just that Sunday night when we...you know...she was just a mite too sure 'bout whut to do!"

"Well, Zeke....you know it ain't like it gotta be studied. It comes kinda natural."

"Yeah...well, maybe that up & down stuff comes natural, but that 'round & round' stuff is learned!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST,Observer
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:36 PM

The biggest difference you will notice is that it will now take you all night long to do what you used to do all night long...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:41 PM

Once I was good.

Now I'm good once.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:41 PM

"Once king, always a king...but once a knight's enough."

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 04:57 PM

Mrs. Slocum came down from the mountain every year to the settlement clinic where she gave birth. Every year. For fourteen years. As they bundled up the newborn baby—her fifteenth—and put it in her arms as she was about to head back up to her mountain home, the doctor said, "Well, I guess we'll see you again next year, eh, Mrs. Slocum?"

"Nope!" sez Mrs. Slocum.

"No?" sez the doctor. "You're not having any more children?"

"Nope!" sez Mrs. Slocum. "We found out what wuz doin' it!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 05:40 PM

From: Cluin - PM
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 10:25 AM

Or were you in a coma?

From: Becca72 - PM
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 11:16 AM

Or married?

There's a difference???


LTS

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: autolycus
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 06:15 PM

Can't answer until know what the rules used to be.






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 07:02 PM

Bill, how did he know?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: number 6
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 07:57 PM

"I think there's something to be said for a couple growing up together."

Interesting Cluin and thanks for that statement ... my wife and I have been married 35 years.

It has been a grand one indeed .... well worth growing up together and we are now looking forward to getting old together.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Bill D
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 08:07 PM

Richard...he didn't. But HE had probably never heard of 'round & 'round before, either... ;>)

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 08:10 PM

When it takes all night to do the things you used to do all night?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 11:33 PM

Makes one wonder- I keep seeing this as 'Redeeming Sex, etc...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 21 Dec 06 - 11:58 PM

I don't know that one can learn or unlearn love, caring, consideration, communication and all the basics that matter most.

On all other counts, give or take a wrinkle here and a sag there, I wouldn't want to go back 35 years. Older women are usually more relaxed because they don't have to worry about getting pregnant. Older men are generally in less of a rush about the whole thing. What most of us didn't know about sex when we were young and horny and thought we knew everything could fill a book. There's more information out there about sex than ever before, including what to do when the equipment isn't working so well. And speaking of equipment, there's a lot of that too, and it's turning up in the most straightlaced of bedrooms.

I don't buy that sex has to get lousy as one gets older. Different, yes. But maybe better. (And if it's with the same person as when one was young, that is very, very cool.)

Elmer

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 12:23 AM

The question that remains unanswered:

Is Gulliver, who expressed his concer, concerned about how to do it, or about how to get it?

Either aspect of it could be equally difficult, depending on the circumstances and abilities of the person; but we could use some guidance as to whether he's interested in all the kinky things people do now - that HE may not have done 35 years ago - (although none of them are really very new); or whether he's concerned about findin' and courtin' and sweet talkin' at 'em.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 12:25 AM

How do we know Gulliver is a HE?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 12:31 AM

Umm, I was thinking that the question was not serious, but another exercise in playing with thread names...
Relearning Guitar After 35 Years Off

(Apparently this was not as obvious to others as it seemed to me, especially since "Gulliver" has gone awfully quiet... but I could be wrong -- so play on!?!)

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 01:34 AM

Well, maybe Gulliver, the 'catter formerly known as Shiamsa, just wanted to stir things up a bit in the catbox. We'll never know what he really wants unless he decides to elaborate. By the way, his last post was to a thread entitled, "Am I Too Old to Learn?"

Some interesting thoughts from others here, in any case. I don't understand the ending of Lonesome EJ's story. Is it a joke, or a commentary, or just the end of the story, or wha???

Elmer

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: eddie1
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 02:01 AM

The mechanics of sex, once learned are never forgotten - even after 35 years.
The only advice I would give is, if the intended partner suffers from whooping cough or bouts of uncontrollable sneezing, take precautions - wear a seat-belt!

As far as the emotional side is concerned - goood luck and congratulations.

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: fat B****rd
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 06:05 AM

Good one, Desert Dancer. But this is fun*, innit ? A rare and valuable commodity* sometimes.
I've always liked the Little Feat line "Your mind's making promises your body can't keep". But that condition is by no means limited to the elderly. Erm is it ?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST, ...
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 07:23 AM

The 'Am I too old to learn' thread suggests that Gulliver may have spent the past 35 years sitting at home knitting socks - perhaps one of the socks came out wrong and turned into a 'willy warmer' which stirred up memories of the seventies.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 07:25 AM

It's in,out,in,out,
shake it all about,
that's what sex is all about.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Scrump
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 09:56 AM

My advice is to do it a little every day until you build up the callouses. Then leave your partner naked in the corner of the room, so you can practice whenever you get the urge. It's just like riding a bicycle - well, more like pumping up a bike tyre, really - and you never forget what you learnt when you were younger. You might forget who you learnt it with, though...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST,Art Thieme
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:09 PM

...and remember:

When your memory goes, forget it !

Alao, when your member goes, remember it---like that Bobbit guy. (A stitch in time...)

And girls, remember, bob your hair, and not your guy!

Art

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cruiser
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:16 PM

Elmer said:

"How do we know Gulliver is a HE?"

Come on Fudd. If you are a HE you know that all a SHE must do is lay there!

So what's to to learn or relearn for a SHE?

Therefore, I postulate that ole Gull is a HE.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST, a She
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:22 PM

You mean I've been doing it wrong all this time and no one told me?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cruiser
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:27 PM

GUEST, a She

You are a rare gem, my dear, rare...

Oh, why don't you give us your name because I am sure there are some CATS here that would like to make you aquaintance by shaking your hand!

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: GUEST, ...
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 03:50 PM

'what's to learn?'
See Bill D's post yesterday, 4.22 PM.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Elmer Fudd
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 06:23 PM

Remember to think of England?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Gulliver
Date: 22 Dec 06 - 10:17 PM

I guess the detective work of Elmer Fudd and Desert Dancer have paid off.

Congrats! (sounds of applause emanating from the cheaper seats)

I am, at the moment, male--however, this is subject to change at short notice...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 11:54 AM

It's like major league baseball. 35 years ago there was the reserve clause which said you could only play for one particular team. Now you're a free agent and you can play for whatever team will have you.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 03:43 PM

Sex is good for you

Reported by Forbes magazine, Updated at MSNBC: 1:03 p.m. CT Dec 19, 2006
[quote]

Queens University in Belfast tracked the mortality of about 1,000 middle-aged men over the course of a decade. The study was designed to compare people of similar age and health. Its findings, published in 1997 in the British Medical Journal, were that men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards.
… … … …
In a 2001 follow-up to the Queens University study mentioned above, researchers focused on cardiovascular health. Their finding? That by having sex three or more times a week, men reduced their risk of heart attack or stroke by half.
… … … …
A study of 293 women in 2002 had the same implications. American psychologist Gordon Gallup reported that sexually active participants whose male partners did not use condoms were less subject to depression than those whose partners did. One theory of causality: Prostoglandin, a hormone found only in semen, may be absorbed in the female genital tract, thus modulating female hormones. Pain relief: Immediately before orgasm, levels of the hormone oxytocin surge to five times their normal level. This, in turn, releases endorphins, which alleviate the pain of everything from headaches to arthritis to even migraines. In women, sex also prompts production of estrogen, which can reduce the pain of PMS.
… … … …
A study published by the British Journal of Urology International asserts that men in their 20s can reduce, by a third, their chance of getting prostate cancer by ejaculating more than five times a week.¹
… … … …
But is there such a thing as too much sex?

The answer, in purely physiological terms, is this: If you're female, probably not. If you're male? You betcha.

Dr. Claire Bailey of the University of Bristol says there is little or no risk of a woman overdosing on sex. In fact, she says, regular sessions can not only firm a woman's tummy and buttocks but also improve her posture.

As for men, urologist Eid says it's definitely possible to get too much of a good thing, now that drugs such as Viagra and Levitra have given men far more staying power than what may actually be good for them.
… … … …
The penis, says Eid, is wonderfully resilient. But everything has its limits. Penile tissues, if given too roistering or prolonged a pummeling, can sustain damage. In cases you'd just as soon not hear about, permanent damage.

"I see it in pro football players," says Eid. "They use Viagra because they're so sexually active. What they demand of their body is unreasonable. It's part of playing football: you play through the pain." This type of guy doesn't listen to his body. He takes a shot of cortisone, and keeps on going. And they have sex in similar fashion."

[end quote]

So after 35 years, it may be too late for Gulliver, but those who haven't yet slipped into the bad habit of abstinence can possibly benefit – as long as one stays away from football players.(?)

¹ Personal note: After my first marriage of 20+ years I find I was about 5,460 orgasms short of recommended values on entering my second, ... ... ... ... but we're gaining. I can feel the surge of better health.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 06:25 PM

"men who reported the highest frequency of orgasm enjoyed a death rate half that of the laggards."

so...I'm gonna live to 107? wow! I KNEW that all that early practice was good for something...*grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:02 PM

Bill D -

They're only quoting rates. You can still be a statistic.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Ebbie
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:11 PM

I always have a problem differentiating rates from individual experience. A death rate half that of... quote, does not imply that there will be fewer than one death per person?

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Dec 06 - 08:15 PM

Death Rate, as far as I know, is still 1:1.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 06:10 AM

Like Elmer Fudd, I too am having difficulty understanding the point of Lonesome EJ's story above Date: 21 Dec 06 - 03:58 PM.

It's like the last part of the joke is missing. Unless, of course, both Elmer and I are incredibly obtuse ...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cluin
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 12:07 PM

I don't get the joke either, but it's still a pretty funny image.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: Cruiser
Date: 24 Dec 06 - 12:29 PM

I am not sure old Lonesome EJ understands his own joke, hence his name.

Now, I have been scolded for splainin' subtle, wry humor b4 so I ain't gonna tell youse obtuse folkies the meanin'

Juss cornsider ifin' the Barbie doll was given to the hick boy and the Ken doll was given to the hick girl instead of the way the soical worker did it: young girl hick got girl doll; young hick boy got boy doll..

I ain't asayin' no mo'...

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: gnu
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 06:06 AM

Oooohhhh. I still don't get it.

Subject: RE: BS: Relearning Sex After 35 Years Off
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 Dec 06 - 06:33 AM

me either