BS: Stages of Human Male Development

Subject: Stages of Human Male Development
From: *daylia*
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 07:39 AM

According to Toronto's Globe and Mail last week, recent studies indicate 4 definitive stages of development in human males, as follows: Pre-virility, virility, senility and death. In other words ...

Bud.

Stud.

Dud.

THUD.      


:-)

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: *daylia*
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 07:39 AM

Oops forgot the BS tag ---- sorry, folks!

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: skipy
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 07:51 AM

I seem to be just after the comma in the space between virility and senility!
Skipy

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Mooh
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:02 AM

Slightly beyond stud, and hopefully far from dud. I can see this one "head"ing down an off-colour road...

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: greg stephens
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:06 AM

Hovering between stud and dud, depending on liquid intake.

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: gnomad
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:15 AM

W Shakespeare had the classic take on this one. He used a few more words though.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players,
They have their exits and entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms.
Then, the whining schoolboy with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths, and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honour, sudden, and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice
In fair round belly, with good capon lin'd,
With eyes severe, and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws, and modern instances,
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose, and pouch on side,
His youthful hose well sav'd, a world too wide,
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again towards childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

I ain't saying how far down the list I reached yet.

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:24 AM

To everything (turn, turn, turn)
There is a season (turn, turn, turn)
And a time for every purpose, under heaven..

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Alec
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:26 AM

Anybody notice the ads at the bottom of this page?

Subject: RE: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Leadfingers
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:34 AM

I think I will keep out of this one !!

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:16 AM

I think this is a form of male bashing that suggests that the only use for me is reproductive. I don't like it.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Alec
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:18 AM

Fair enough Susan but please, please tell me you meant to say "men":)

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:19 AM

I'm somewhere between three and eight.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:22 AM

In pictures
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:23 AM

Ooops, ypto'd again! New glasses are crap-- MEN.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Scrump
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:28 AM

I thought we men weren't even needed for reproductive use these days :-(

Nice to know at least one woman thinks otherwise :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:44 AM

Male and Female Brain Development Report from National Institutes of Health. All babies start out with the same number of cells, which over nine months, develop into a complete female baby. The problem occurs when cells are instructed by the little chromosomes to make a male baby instead. Because there are only so many cells to go around, the cells needed to develop a male's reproductive organs have to come from cells already assigned elsewhere in the female. Recent tests have shown that...

these cells are removed from the communications center of the brain, migrate lower in the body and develop into male sexual organs. Now the brain is sort of similar to a full deck of cards, so this means that males are born a few cardsshort, so to speak, and some of their cards are in their shorts.

This difference between the male and female brain manifests itself in various ways. Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a bucket over their heads and running into walls.

This basic cognitive difference continues to develop until puberty, When the hormones kick into action and the trouble really begins. After puberty, not only the size of the male and female brains differ, but the center of thought also differs. Women think with their heads. Male thoughts often originate lower in their bodies where their ex-brain cells reside.

Of course, the size of this problem varies from man to man. In some men only a small number of brain cells migrate and they are left with nearly full mental capacity but they tend to be rather dull, sexually speaking. Such men are known in medical terms as "Engineers and Physicists."

Other men suffer larger brain cell relocation. These men are medically referred to as "banjo players."

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: *daylia*
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:48 AM

I see where you're coming from, Susan, and I agree -- if I was in one of my dreadfully serious sombre moods, I'd see it as a form of male-bashing too. And it wouldn't be funny at all. But today, nah ... I see it as an opportunity to laugh at oneself and/or the human condition in general.

To illustrate, here's a couple quotes from a guy whose smarts, sensitivity and sense of humour I've always admired. I bet my bottom dollar he has no problem whatsoever laughing at himself!

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time".

"Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning "to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet".

- Robin Williams

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:48 AM

Oh Freda, you have excelled yourself there lass.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:03 AM

Giok, it was nothing.... :-D) !!

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:23 AM

Once a man, twice a child.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:26 AM

h*ll no! If you're living right - once a man always a child.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: wysiwyg
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 10:34 AM

I thought we men weren't even needed for reproductive use these days :-(

Yes, that's another part of male-bashing, that says men are disposable-- how else could war be tolerated if a society wasn't willing to send men off to kill or be killed? If they are only good for repro, and if science can easily get around that-- then who cares if boys are taught to beat each other up (or be beaten by the pack), who cares if men are sent to wholesale slaughter?

Or who cares if a certain percentage of men are killed in mining accidents (oh well, it's only men-- you can always get another)?

Jokes ARE funny until one considers where they lead when taken to their logical and actual outcomes.

Some people say I lack a sense of humor-- I have quite a well-developed ability to laugh at myself, actually. Ask any Mudcatter who's been to a Gather at my house and you'll find we laughed all day, into the night. But I no longer find it funny to laugh along with what is hurtful, no matter who it's aimed at.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM

You know you're a grown up when you look out of the window on a snowy morning and don't think 'whoo hooooo!!' but 'that's gonna screw up the traffic'.

LTS - who still goes whoo hooo!

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Gizmo
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 06:28 PM

I was excited about the snow too. Whoo hoo.

My son and daughter made (in his words)

"A really big snowman. The biggest snowman we have ever made. oh mum it is so big, come and see...etc etc"

It was only about a foot high - but he was right in some ways - it was the biggest snowman he has ever built.

What occurs to me (in all seriousness and not male bashing at all) is that boys never really get over the ability to exaggerate about size - do they?

ps - The above story was true btw. He said it yesterday morning.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 07:19 PM

As far as Nature goes, the human male really is only good for one thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: bobad
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 07:25 PM

"As far as Nature goes, the human male really is only good for one thing."

I know what you mean, I'm getting sick and tired of being the one who changes the oil in the car.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Cluin
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 07:33 PM

And the only one who is expected to pay attention to the vertical alignment of the toilet seat.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:12 PM

I'm glad to see Wysiwyg expressing the same kind of irritation about endlessly recycled jokes knocking men as I feel about jokes knocking women.

There's a place for humour about differences between men and women, as there is for humour about differences between different nationalities and so forth - but it's place that has its rightful boundaries and limitations.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 08:55 PM

I think there needs to be more support for banjo players.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: bobad
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:23 PM

"I think there needs to be more support for banjo players"

Dr.Leonard to the rescue.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Alba
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 09:32 PM

Freda..... applause .....*chuckle*

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:34 AM

I think the idea that banjo players have MORE brains in their dicks is a little alarming. Less inthier heads I can handle. Perhaps they go somewhere else...

It's a bit like other assumptions that some other classes of male persons are more virile or more likely to be sexual predators - or just sexually bigger......

Now do I mean alarming, or alarmist?

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:09 PM

I just saw a story that said there are 86 people around the globe who are known to be over 110 years old. 80 of those people are women. Which I guess proves that women never know when to stop talking and have to get the last word in.

(ouch!)

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:45 PM

"Change the oil"!

Very good. Verrrrry good, squire!

*nudge* *nudge* *wink* *wink*

You're wicked, eh? Wicked, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Slag
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 08:34 PM

The Four Stages of Man as Santa Claus
(not original with me)

Stage 1. You believe in Santa Claus

Stage 2. You do NOT believe in Santa Claus

Stage 3. You ARE Santa Claus

Stage 4. You LOOK like Santa Claus

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: freda underhill
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 07:30 AM

bobad, I followed your link thinking I'd come across a wonderful banjo player, and what did I find? Not.. The banjo players mutual support society

freda

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: *daylia*
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 07:59 AM

...Little girls will tend to play things like house or learn to read. Little boys, however, will tend to do things like placing a bucket over their heads and running into walls.

ROFLMHO!! Freda, at the risk of loading you down with laurels I am compelled to add mine to your collection above! The mental images - or rather, memories - conjured up by your lines above are almost too much --- ah yes, so true, so true .....

Thanks for your creative postings Freda, and for the links, quotes and jokes everyone. Hee hee!!

And thank you too, Susan, for your thoughtfulness and insights.

daylia

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: freda underhill
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 08:19 AM

jokes can often toe a fine line - + I'm glad you had a laugh Daylia. But I confess.. my creative ramblings in this case were a recycled old joke (i just changed the last line to mention banjo players!)!

a very un-original freda

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: able
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 09:42 AM

I was born when Chamberlain was still PM of England. That said I have watched the male downfall with disbelief and thought :- some adjustments are required by men anyway. At first it was subtle, stop naming hurricanes after women and so on. What we have now is a matriarchy that doesn't seem to give a damn how many young men have to die in order to advance the female agenda. Canada will be launching an offensive in Afghanistan in the spring, lets all keep tally of the body bags shipped to Canada and the US. Now to my point, the female brain has 12 billion brain cells and the male brain has between 15 and 17 billion brain cells. Those extra brain cells have allowed men to invent almost everything in the world to advance civilization. It gets a little tiresome to have almost no tv to watch because I am a man, with that in mind, what do you girls think about helping the pendulum swing back closer to the center. Being a man in this day and age makes me want to reconsider equality as a failed experiment that has gone terribly wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 12:08 PM

Oh, this oughta be good.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 12:19 PM

You had better be ready and willing, able.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Cluin
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 12:35 PM

...Now to my point, the female brain has 12 billion brain cells and the male brain has between 15 and 17 billion brain cells. Those extra brain cells have allowed men to invent almost everything in the world to advance civilization....

Ah, without the women pressuring us to build things, we would have quit inventing shortly after we discovered beer. We'd be content having to still go outside to pee and poop.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 12:46 PM

You suppose it's having all those extra brain cells that make us think we can drink all that beer and still function okay? "Whaddya mean slow down on the brew? I'm fine. Watch this."

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 01:03 PM

I'm in favour of female equality, as I'm fed being dominated by the buggers!
G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: able
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 01:03 PM

You are right about the beer and our confidence which seems to lessen with age(become more circumspect). In reality men would be just as happy living in a cardboard box, just don't tell the women I said that. More and more I am getting this urge to go live in a shack in the bush with enough level ground to be able to take off and land my plane.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Slag
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM

It would take but one generation to prove my point, but then no one would be around to appreciate it. The Human, like all other animals and most higher life forms on this planet are female/ male or male/ female. One does not exist without the other. So why do we focus upon the differences? Why separate? 12 billion + 17 billion = 29 billion! Much better.

And in any given relationship, what works, works.

The relationship is what makes us special. Without it, Mr. Stud is just a , well, stud: an insturment of propagation. Without it the woman is little more than an incubator. However shemust and will relate to her child or the child wont make it. I suppose that is why women ARE endowed with much better relational abilities than men.

The differences combine and make us one. Tonight's sermonette was brought to you by the Institute for Universal Parthenogensis.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: Gizmo
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 04:34 PM

If we didn't recognize and understand the differences between males and females, we would be nowhere.

My friend and I agree to this point:

In a physical fight - we would prefer to fight another woman (because we would be more evenly matched, than fighting a man.

On the other hand, if in a verbal confrontation,it is much better to argue with a man, this is because a verbal assault with another woman can become much more degrading, emotionally taxing and hurtful, than the more logical reasoning of most males arguments.

These are of course generalisations. BTW if men and women thought and acted the same way - I very much doubt we would have a human race. Balance and equality does not necessarily mean thinking the same, and doing the same. It starts with an equal respect for each other and differences can equalise the balance in a relationship. I.e. 2 hot-heads with no-one backing down would not last very long, unless one backed down, and if the same person backed down all the time - it would not be equal thus put a strain on the relationship.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: able
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 05:07 PM

I'm glad to see that some women will agree that men will try to maintain a logical debate. However, no one has dealt with the problems, there will still be an offensive in the spring, men still live a life of servitude, and the women haven't committed to helping get the pendulum back to the center. Why do we have to wait until this detonates into a gender war.

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: bubblyrat
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 08:32 AM

Having read all the above responses,I can only say that I think the "Toronto Globe and Mail" has a lot to answer for !!

Subject: RE: BS: Stages of Human Male Development
From: *daylia*
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 09:01 AM

But I confess.. my creative ramblings in this case were a recycled old joke (i just changed the last line to mention banjo players!)

Well Freda, I'm still not going to relieve you of any of those laurels! You deserve every one -- hee hee! And seeing as we're getting into True Confessions here ....

Bubblyrat, the Globe has 75% of it to answer for. The original article claimed only 3 stages of development in human males -- virility, senility, and death.

In other words -- Stud, Dud, and Thud.

But I didn't want to see the children left out, so I added a fourth stage - Pre-virility - and changed the formula to Bud - Stud - Dud - Thud.

Therefore, I guess I'll have to answer for 25% - but ONLY 25, and not a smidgeon more!    :-)