Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: ossonflags
Date: 07 Apr 09 - 01:57 AM

Great to fread sume of this A level drivel again9.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,anuva jest
Date: 06 Apr 09 - 05:09 AM

I live in NZ and near died laughing at you guys, ought to be published inna book. The Drivel Chronicles. 'Spect you have to be a Pom at heart to appreciate it. Found your thread searching for Dwyle Flunking, which appears on the net totally different to my indifferent memories. If I'm ever in 'ull, I'll look for Durty Nellies (esp as my daughter is called Neli).

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 06 May 03 - 02:41 AM

Well,big Hellooooooooooooooooooooo!! again john.
As Brother oakley has kindly reminded me, we are at the Durty on saturday.Best of luck with mustafa.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 05 May 03 - 05:24 AM

ps, i fogot too mention, that they atre at durty nellies on friday, i will go if miserable bastard mustafa will give me the night off, he a miseable arsehole, the way he complains, you woulld think i was the only one in hul that could drive and work ijn a curry ship, the miserlbe areslohe, he doesent understand hoew important tradishonal music is.john
ps, i just been to the sandwidge ship on chants ave , and its closed! bloody banks, making trubble again! i hat them.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 05 May 03 - 05:15 AM

EHoll, i knoe this ib a bank holifay , but i will not cebelrate ite, as i resufe to, my reeeson is, =that banks are a big rip off and o conplete con, anspensions as weell. ie= you pay your wages to a oension sceme and they steal half of it, and give you some of it back a bit of a at at a time if you luckky, and you live to be old, 9fiddling basturds) make me sick,, 9 and piss me off).john.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 08:25 AM

END OF PART TWO
Gerry

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Click for Part 3

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This thread is closed, because it got too long and some people may have trouble loading it.
Please continue in part 3.
Additional messages posted here will be moved or deleted.
Thanks.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 08:15 AM

Perhaps we should enjoy a third generation of this rubbish?

Try jOhn from hull, in Hull, on Hull Part 3

Skipjack

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Mr Happy
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 06:59 AM

hull john,

the 9s are brackets (parenthesis). on your keyboard you've got UPPER CASE & lower case letters & other symbols.

if you use your 'shift' button, press it for upper case, release for lower case.

if you need curved brackets, they're on the number buttons 9 & 0:().

i used to use the curved ones but its much easier to use the other ones which are square: [].

to use these ones you don't need to use the 'shift' key.

hope this all makes sense.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Davetnova
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 06:45 AM

Hurrah 100 postings congratulations to all in Hull. I hope you all enjoy the medicine before they do the headcount and lock you in for the night

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 02:12 AM

Wo Keeps putting all them nines 99) in my messages? whoever it is pleese stopit 9you pissing me off).john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 02:07 AM

hEloo, I have just woke up, it is 6.30 Am in the morning here 9in hull), i got in at about 10 past 1 last night, and i fellasleep nearly straifght away, 9I was really nackered) I put telly on when i got in, amd i saw a bit of Big Brother, Big Bullshit more like! it is the biggest load of crap i have ever seen , there was 4 people taking pictures of each others arses, and that Jane has got a voice so irrytating, she would send me mad, you used to get good documentaries on channel 4, like dispatches, or was it des patches? Tv is not like it used to be, if i had a telly lisence i would be asking for my muney back, it is a bloody disgrace.When i woke up 9a few minits ago) there was a weird programme on 9The Tv was still switched on) it was like a cross between Rainbow and that Smash advert that was on in 1973 9FOR MASH, GET SMASH) I think it it is called The Tweenies but i am not sure about this at all, there was one green muppet type thing with a really long fringe, 9stupid haircut) I don't knoe any of there names, i watched it for about 5 minits then, it was pissing me off, I might go to to Jacksons and get sume chocolate in a minit, it has took me half an hour to write this! But i had a problem with my key bored, 9I pulled the wires out, ) i put them basck now.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 02 - 01:47 AM

hjjhbgfhjkl

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 02:45 PM

Just a black fedora johN ? has it got a big pocket on it ?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 10:33 AM

Was Brian with us at the Hase, jOhn? I wanted to garner his views on endless chicken dinners, bear, bananas and Barclay's Bank. It'll just have to wait until Saturday, I suppose.

Garry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 09:53 AM

Sorry jOhn old buddy, I know you are a stickler for this kind of detail. The Hope and Anchor, by complete coincidence, is actually having a "fedora and hamster-in-pocket evening9" on Saturday night, at which the Horse Punchers have been engaged to entertain. You will fit in well, John from Hull.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 08:53 AM

Oaklet-You spelled his name wrong, it is Deam mister! Re the spelling, I had to stay reasonably sober last night, to enable me to partake of a trip to the cash & carry today, good job it's only once a week! I might see you on Saturday, if I can get the night off werk, I will be the one in a black fedora, with a hamster in my pocket.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 06:14 AM

Hello Deanmeister, nice to have you back, breaking radio silence and all! Any news?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,The DeamMeister
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 06:07 AM

Blimey John. Since when did this become a tourist information thread? You even seem to have miraculously learnt to spell. Most impressive. You coming on Saturday?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 25 Jul 02 - 02:09 AM

Bad Guest, I wrote all that and he dident even reply! It's a good job I didn't tell him about a few of the festivals that are taking place soon, such as=
Saturday 27th-Warwick Folk Festival
Thursday 1st August
Cambridge Folk Festival-(1st-4th)-John Prine, Billy Bragg, The Dubliners, Altan, Iris Dement, Oysterband, Kate Rusby, Eliza Carthy, Rory McLeoed, Cara Dillon, etc
Friday 2nd August
Simouth Folk Week (2nd-9th)-Brass Monkey, Cara Dillon, John McCusker, Oysterband, Martin Carthy, Martin Simpson and Rolff Harris etc
Saturday 3rd August
The Nottinghan Riverside Festival-(3rd & 4th) (FREE) "A great line up of artists, including Soukos Koumbele from the Congo, a young Cuban band called Assere, Bill Jones, who won best newcomer at last years BBC Folk Awards, Michael Messer and blues star Blind Mississipi Morris" More details on 0115 9153591 or www.nottinghamevents.org Friday 9th August
Saltburn Folk Festival-(9th -11th)
Friday 17th August
Whitby Folk Week-(17th-23rd).
Also Hull Jazz Festival is on now, with LOADS of jazz events happening in & around the city, (much of it being FREE!) including a performance by another Young Musician of The Year (pianist Matthew Bourne) for more info see the website or phone Hull tourist information on 01482 223559.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 10:05 PM

as you are posting to a Hull thread Guest, I will assume you are local, so here are a few Folk/Blues events that are happening locally (and a bit further afield). If you are not local then don't read this message.
Thursday July 25th
Blind Lemons Hot Five-The Tap & Spile, Hull
Mixed Session (songs & tunes) The Nancy, Burton Pidsea Driffield Folk Club, Driffield

Friday July 26th
The Kingston, Hull-Mixed Folk session (songs & tunes) Saturday July 27th
The Hope & Anchor, South Ferriby-Punch The Horse
Sunday July 28th
The Tap & Spile, Hull-Folk Singaround (trad & contempry) Oddfellows, Beverley-Folk Singaround/Session
The Sun Inn, Beverley- Folk Session

Monday July 29th
The White Horse aka Nellies-Folk Club (Singers Night)
The Tap & Spile, Hull-Peculiar Blue (M/F folk duo)

Tuesday July 30th
The Sloop, Barton on Humber-Celtic Tune Session
The Sun Inn, Beverley-Beginners Session/Workshop
The Tap & Spile, Hull-Musicians night
Wednesday July 31th
Cottingham Live, Cottingham-Folk Club (Singers Night)
The Polar Bear, Hull-Musicians Night
Thursday August 1st
The Tap & Spile, Hull-Blind Lemons Hot Five
The Bell Hotel, Driffiel-Singers Night
The Nancy, Burton Pidsea-Folk Session
Friday August 2nd
The Kingston, Hull-Mixed Session
The Mariners, Beverley-King Rollo (Blues Guitarist) (FREE) Saturday August 3rd
Beverley Market Traders Busking Fair (prizes over £1000!) Sunday 4th August
Nellies, Beverley-1st Sunday of the Month folk Session (2PM Start).
That is sume of the stuff what is appening round ere, dont forget, dony read it if your not local.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 08:44 PM

there is loads of stuff going on Guest, are you local?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,me
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 08:37 PM

whats going on guys?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 24 Jul 02 - 09:59 AM

Can Tony blur do anything about greenfly & mildew on banjo skins johN ?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 08:12 PM

PS, allegidly. 9 i have to put that in case ther sue me.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 08:01 PM

The views expressed in this post are those of the individual respondents. The (insert company name) can take no responsibility for any comments or views appearing in the..... blah ....blah....etc

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 07:58 PM

aNyway, i am thinking about doing a KArate course, so if anyone tyrs to nick my chips, i will chop them up, I do'nt knoe how much it will be, but it will be werth it, 9i am not getting any benefit so i haf to pay for course myself, i tried to get sume rent benefit a 2 weeks ago but they said i make to much munny already, i had to fill a big form in and still get mo benefits,9big waste of time).john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 07:39 PM

Barclis BANK I=s a Set OF fIDDLINg basturds. sined, john evans 9john fom hull).john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 07:23 PM

hEllo Linda- I fororgot you was a bank wumon, but i still think barclies bank is a big rip off, and saying outragus is not bad werds anyway, I know yoy anyway and trust ypu , but i still think banks is a big rip off.john Ps i just been to the hase and saw lots ob mudcat peepol, like Shipack 9 and Oaklet, and john and nickie, but there computers are busted so they cant see mudcat no more, i think Tony blur should give give free computers to poor preople , then rhey could see mudcat,.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 01:43 PM

Hi Banjo-Flower! Was there any sign of black spot or wilt revealed during the consulation?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 01:32 PM

You won't

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 01:29 PM

Linda, I agree of course, but you have to be a bit careful of carrying someone by the testicles who doesn't have access to toilet paper during the working day.

Mick has just done a jOhnism on the thread above about Punch the Horse at South Ferriby. A Faecal error I'm afraid. How will we live this down?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 01:00 PM

John from Hull - if you had come into my bank and used language like that to one of my young gals in that way the manager (thats me) would have escorted you off the premises whilst gripping your testicles and the back of your collar. I think you should apologise by taking her sume pizza and a bag of chips.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 12:53 PM

thanks for the tup about the post offise oaklet, i think they called transco now or something, I will go tommorrow, I am going to harpmakers house now for music lessun 9he is music teecher), no i remember they are called insignia, i think.If you see any writing " Barclies bank is big rip off" you now it is me.I like to use my own bog, because no bog- roll at werk, 9they dont use it, i think they pour water on their arse or something).i will go post office tommorrrow.Cheers.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 07:16 AM

Quote of the entire thread: "Anyway, i digress,=" jOhn from Hull.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 06:42 AM

You can't end a barber queue with much more fitting flourish than a synchronised display of maudlin mashed maidens. Except of course, the glint of a wet purple helmet, in the evening mizzle. Sounds like a good do Peter. How did you prise the delightful grade 8er from your bike?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,The DeanMeister
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 05:45 AM

Hey ossonflags9. Hope you had a fine weekend in Dorset. The present Mrs Deans shindig was a fine event, punctuated by rain, featuring appalling music, inedible burnt roadkill, lots of bear and wyne, culminating in a fantastic display of synchronised drunken crying women. All in all a top evening. All that woz missing9 woz a demonstration of the Purpe Helmets Display Team. The short notice meant they had a prior engagement with Maxwell. Perhaps next time?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 04:21 AM

jOhn, try the Post Office, or whatever they call it at the moment; you should be able to pay the bill there without charge. I think you should assume your urban warrier role, don the black costume and write a graffito on the said bank in the small hours (Ossonflags may be the only witness, so dopn't worry) to the effect that they are lieing, profiteering rip-off merchants with a customer-explulsion policy. If your script carries your hallmark, write "allegidly9" at the end and you won't be Sued.

Does Mustafa have any intention of proving toilet facilities, or do you, like me, find the coldness of your own porcelain, mighty comforting?

Ah ha, Les. But I was in the Black Boy, although pre occupied by watching a whistling policeman rocking on his stool, and foaming at the mouth.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 10:13 PM

I thionk banks are a big rip-off, this id what happebd to me today=I got my gas bill 9the stuff what make your'e oven werk) that was for the american people, they call petrol gas, so i dony know what they call gas what they put in the oven, anyway i digress,= i got my gas bill and i went to bank to pay it . it was 16.45 but bank wuman said there is a 5pound adminystation fee, i said to bank wumon " you must be bloody joking, that is far too much, 50p is ok, but 5pound is bloody outragus" bank womon said =that is our charges, we have to make money. I asked to sea the manager but she said manager is not ere today 9 i think she was lieing) then she said 2 dont make any truble or we will chuck you out" I said " dont worry bank wumon, i am going now anyway" I know you not supposed to say bad things about companys in case they Sue you, but this is true
And the bank was Barclays Bank on chanterlands Ave hull, and if mr barclay is reading this-you can sue me if you like , but ive got no muney anyway,your'e bank should not be so expensive and ripping people off. 9 this is true what happened so im not even going to say allegidly like they do on that telly programme because i can prove it.
I remember a few years ago there was a gas office in town were you coldud pay you gas bill for free, but they closed oit, i think barclays told them to close it so they colud make muney, but i cant prove that bit, so i will say alegidly 9 alegidly). Bank wumon said if i open a acount i colud pay gas bill for free, but i dont want to be involved in any rip-off organization like that, they must think i am stupid to fall for that one! when I get sume money i will keep it in a box under my bed.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 06:52 PM

hello Gary, there is loads of chip sops on essle road, i dont get pissed at werk 9I wait till i get home) I just come home to have a shit, but i will be back again in a couple of hours 9about 1 am).john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 06:35 PM

That feckin' Ryan get gave me a Moonlight in Mayo fixation, that despite expensive Relate counselling, very nearly re-asserted itself in the public bar of the Queen's Head, Tolleshunt D'Arcy just last weekend.

However, having attended the graveyard shift of the Humberside Polis Special Whistles Division gala tea dance, as an Armed Salvation Army Binge Drinking Rapid Response Unit, in aforesaid pigmentally challenged Bouy inn, I bicycled the length of Hessle Road searching for fish and chips. I found many such places that John has so deliciously described, curry ships and the like, but eventually, like the pub with no beer, I found the fis (sic) shop with no fish, and indulged myself in Chips in Mayo, for the humble consideration of £1.

So, humming a private melody, I spread my ample transom on the bench on the Hull side of the Humber Bridge (and why isn't there one on the south side?) and consumed this unexpectedly vegetarian repaste with greasy relish, and wobbled home with many a Guiness burp along the way.

In future, I will leave the hallucogens to my friend John, but I will leave you with the question of how jOhn manages to get so pissed at work, with all that driving interfering with solid boozing?

Good night, and it's moonlight in Mayo.

Garrington

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 03:51 PM

Gerry, I really regret mentioning your sexual health. Les, if I wrote about the GUM clinic in Grimsby, you would invite people to a session afterwards, you varmint, you.

Anyway, I now have to negotiate with 18 reluctant freisians to move from the bottom field, to the bank field, without Moo to halt the traffic. All this after power-drinking with the Humberside Police Special Whistle Division, for an entire afternoon. He was crap at it and became skittish, by the way.

Mrs Drinkall has returned sun-burnt and grinning from ear to ear, clutching gifts. "Lodger" Frank has gone to the club with Terry and George; Doreen to wherever she goes on a Monday. So peace and order is restored to this tiny part of rural North Linconlshire. In the UK, you Americans, you.

Another hour; another 22p. Milk Marque is not universally a good thing.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Les from Hull
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 01:43 PM

But you didn't come to the Black Boy, Oakers, where we had sume bear and sume music. There's a (mainly tune) session there every third Sunday afternoon.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 12:26 PM

I'll get this thread up to 200 posts by hook or by crook

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 12:19 PM

Hi oakleaf thanks for your advice just got back from the ginuu.....genoo...pox-doctor and he said every thing's fine except for the greenfly and he said not to mention the Mildew in mixed company(you know what a gossip that Noreen is 9

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 12:14 PM

Hi oakleaf just got back from the ginuu.....genoo...pox-doctor and he said every thing's fine except for the greenfly and he said not to mention the Mildew in mixed company(you know what a gossip that Noreen is 9

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 07:21 AM

And the immortal eulogy to the bald squirrel. "Tree rat, you were once grey but now you are red" Plop! And another thing; why the hell didn't anyone come up with tinned cake before now? jOhn, was that Plan 9 From Outer Space by any chance? Anyway the Humberside Police Special Whistles Division and I are off to Hull to enjoy the bear in the old town. In turns. I will relate what happens later.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 06:22 AM

There, husband dear, is the name for the definitive tune of the weekend, 'The Curry Ship'. Chicken, chicken, chicken..............

Gareth

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: ossonflags
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 05:26 AM

yes I saw you as well john, wondered what you was doing at 1 am in the morning lurking outside of curry shop, thought you had lost your hamster.

Had just driven back from Tollpuddle and was slightly knackered else I would have invited you in for some bear.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 21 Jul 02 - 08:31 PM

hEllo oaklet, I havejust seen mick 9ossanflags) about 20 minits ago, he was driving the punchmobile.I forgot to tell yoo about my plan 9that dident werk) I said to my boss 2 I am fed up werking jere and i going to leave, and i said him i want sume enhghlish food, becouse i am feed up of chiken curry every night, he said ok no problum.but i got home and saw my food i thought it was werms, I will explane=I went to wash my face 9If you werk in a curry ship your face gets greesy, so you have to wash it when you get in) but i forgot to put my glasses on again, so i look at my food with no glasses on and it looks like werms, 9 it was spagetty) Spagetty is not english food antway, and he gave me a can of cake as well.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse at Dirty Nellys (PART 2)
From: Oaklet
Date: 21 Jul 02 - 02:13 PM

I just thought, as homecoming from my father-in-law's house, I should treat meself to a resurrection of this particular strand of the drivel-fest. No sign of Mrs. Drinkall or "logder" Frank. Distorted Doreen (Frank's odd niece) mentioned something about the fishing trip being a smoke-screen for a weekend away in Broadstairs. They are not in the first flush of youth, so good luck to them, is what I say.