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Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009

Related threads:
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Mr Happy 24 Feb 11 - 12:29 PM
Fred McCormick 24 Feb 11 - 09:57 AM
GUEST,Jenno 24 Feb 11 - 09:28 AM
Mr Happy 18 Mar 09 - 10:21 AM
Mr Happy 18 Mar 09 - 10:08 AM
Georgiansilver 13 Mar 09 - 07:49 PM
Zany Mouse 13 Mar 09 - 07:02 PM
Tangledwood 13 Mar 09 - 06:01 PM
Georgiansilver 13 Mar 09 - 04:08 AM
Georgiansilver 12 Mar 09 - 12:49 PM
GUEST, topsie 12 Mar 09 - 12:32 PM
Georgiansilver 12 Mar 09 - 10:51 AM
Mr Red 12 Mar 09 - 10:45 AM
Mr Happy 12 Mar 09 - 10:40 AM
Tangledwood 11 Mar 09 - 06:18 PM
Tangledwood 10 Mar 09 - 06:56 PM
Georgiansilver 10 Mar 09 - 10:11 AM
Mr Happy 10 Mar 09 - 10:05 AM
Leadfingers 10 Mar 09 - 09:07 AM
Mr Happy 10 Mar 09 - 08:33 AM
Georgiansilver 10 Mar 09 - 07:24 AM
Mr Happy 10 Mar 09 - 06:59 AM
SINSULL 06 Mar 09 - 10:55 AM
Mr Happy 06 Mar 09 - 10:36 AM
Art Thieme 05 Mar 09 - 12:21 PM
Georgiansilver 05 Mar 09 - 07:19 AM
Folkiedave 05 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM
Mr Red 05 Mar 09 - 05:33 AM
Georgiansilver 04 Mar 09 - 08:32 AM
Mr Happy 04 Mar 09 - 06:35 AM
Georgiansilver 04 Mar 09 - 06:05 AM
Mr Happy 03 Mar 09 - 10:16 AM
Mr Happy 03 Mar 09 - 09:27 AM
Georgiansilver 03 Mar 09 - 09:08 AM
GUEST,Neovo 03 Mar 09 - 09:00 AM
Georgiansilver 03 Mar 09 - 06:30 AM
Mr Happy 03 Mar 09 - 05:56 AM
Mr Happy 03 Mar 09 - 05:35 AM
GUEST, topsie 02 Mar 09 - 02:02 PM
Georgiansilver 02 Mar 09 - 01:42 PM
GUEST, topsie 02 Mar 09 - 01:16 PM
Georgiansilver 02 Mar 09 - 01:05 PM
Mr Happy 02 Mar 09 - 11:36 AM
Georgiansilver 02 Mar 09 - 11:32 AM
Mr Happy 02 Mar 09 - 11:30 AM
Harmonium Hero 02 Mar 09 - 11:12 AM
Mr Happy 02 Mar 09 - 09:17 AM
Harmonium Hero 02 Mar 09 - 08:45 AM
Georgiansilver 02 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM
Mr Red 02 Mar 09 - 05:44 AM
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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 12:29 PM

Due to the unforeseen effects of climate change, a 50 mile radius about Blitherscrum hasn't had any rain since 2009.

Also for this reason, the water board has stepped in to takeover the canal from the inland waterways authority to use as a reservoir for drinking & domestic supplies.

Consequently, the cut can no longer be used by any boat traffic.

This has totally changed the character of the boat festival as even the River Blither has dried up, so the narrow boats have all had wheels fitted & driven via their Bollinger engines using a chain linkage system.

Other changes will be announced in due course, but the organising committe are determined that the festival will still go ahead.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Fred McCormick
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 09:57 AM

I went to Widdlington once. It was closed.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Jenno
Date: 24 Feb 11 - 09:28 AM

Fascinating; an' ter fink that Oi were born an' raised in Widdlington. Oi never thought ter see it on the web, lifeboat an' all; cripes!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:21 AM

On the positive side, since Lifeboat Hill has been in existence, it쳌fs created many new and novel leisure opportunities for the local populace, including Britain쳌fs tallest Helter Skelter [G suits optional] and the newly developed dry ski slope on the side away from the boat house.

Plans still in the pipeline are for a bobsleigh run, a giant skateboard chute and infants climbing wall.

Other pastimes carried on at the site for many years have been the Lovers Leap, a popular picnic area with a good view of the landing points


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 18 Mar 09 - 10:08 AM

Emergency Services


Widdlington Inshore Rescue Service, based in the nearby inland port & fishing village of Widdlington, will be on hand to assist any folkies, campers, boaters etc who may get into difficulties should the forecast deluges ensue.

Points of interest of Widdlington, although it쳌fs designated as a port, it쳌fs no longer on the coast due to erosion of beaches further away, drainage schemes for land reclamation, and silting up of the River Widdle, and the former major harbour & fishing port is now 7 miles from the sea.

As this has been a gradual process, the villagers decided to maintain the lifeboat & its volunteer crew & overcame the problem of launching into the sea from an ever-increasing distance by periodically lengthening the slipway.

Of course, in order that the boat may efficiently traverse the slipway into the water, the angle of elevation of the gradient has also needed to be enhanced, inadvertently creating one of the highest points of the local landscape; Lifeboat Hill.

The hill is presently classified in mountaineering jargon as a 쳌eMarilyn쳌f, that is to say its dimensions are of relative height of 150 metres (492 ft), see here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marilyn_(hill) for more info.

In consequence of the raised altitude of the lifeboat station, some difficulties have resulted, such as the problem of how the boat[s] can be returned to the station post rescue.

A successful & economical procedure, which overcomes this problem, has been developed using an extensible heavy-duty 쳌ebungee쳌f cord, one end of which is attached to the boat, and the other end to a clockwork mechanism in the boat station.

When the lifeboat is released, the kinetic energy generated by its fall & journey to the sea is stored in the giant spring of the clockwork motor.

As soon as the boat hits the waves, the bungee is detached from the boat & hooked onto a specially engineered eyelet embedded in a gigantic lump of reinforced concrete buried in the ground left over from the beach defences of WW2.

When the boat returns to the shore, the cord automatically engages with its hook & the whole caboodle is whisked back into the boathouse in a trice!

Due to G forces encountered, the crew have to wear protective suits, but they need to don them quickly while still at sea, as once the boat touches land, its just a matter of seconds until the vessel takes off and reaches close to the speed of light!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 07:49 PM

Noooooo Blair and Bush are into Banjos and Bodhrans ..... instruments of mass destruction!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Zany Mouse
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 07:02 PM

Good to see you up and around Peter (Mingulay).

Rhiannon


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:01 PM

Country? I thought Blair and Bush were into heavy metal.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 04:08 AM

News has just come in that a great duo called Blair and Bush will make an appearance.... they are apparently climbing out of their box as they are usually into 'Country' ... particularly Iraq!
It has been requested that there will be no shoe throwing......


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 12:49 PM

If you pay C.O.D.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 12:32 PM

Is it possible to reserve a plaice in the campsite?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 10:51 AM

The toilet paper suppliers are definitely 'oursole agents'.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Red
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 10:45 AM

and will the music stall sponsor the event and thus exclude all others?

sort of our Sole agents?

just assking.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 12 Mar 09 - 10:40 AM

More Trade Stalls

Leakey쳌fs Cycle Stores

All accessories, including Leakey tyres, Leakey inner tubes, Leakey repair patches

Collapsible folding bikes & Quick release, saddle, wheels, & panniers


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 11 Mar 09 - 06:18 PM

Update from Mooloolaba - Stevo and Davo will be released in time to join the tour so the dance "Strip the Wattle" will now be included. Note that is a new choreography which, hopefully, will avoid a recurrance of the embarrasing incident which occurred after Dazza's wife, Kylie, made an error typing out the set list, substituting widow for willow.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Tangledwood
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 06:56 PM

With the end of the Australian summer season approaching, The Mooloolaba Morris and Surf Ironman Team is planning it's first UK tour so will of course visit Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival.

Their repertoire consists of a 10km swim, followed by "Hunt the Wombat", "Swaggies Hey" and "Four Hand Reel" (surf lifesaving demonstration) and concludes with the scull (six pack of Fourex).

The team is eager to meet all challengers but in the event of no competition will be quite prepared to make an exhibition of themselves.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 10:11 AM

I wondered when you would visit Blitherscrum Terry..... and when can we expect you in Gainsborough again ?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 10:05 AM

Just knew that '99' would attract you Terry!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Leadfingers
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 09:07 AM

100


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 08:33 AM

On the canalside is Smellie쳌fs Boat Chandlers who, as well as their own products, carry some of Leakey쳌fs lines.

On special offer during the festival are such indispensable items as Leakey Wellies, a goodly range of Smellie socks and designer Smellie underwear.


Boaters can buy Leakey rainwear, Leakey sou쳌fwesters, Smellie air fresheners and Smellie toilet cleaner

Also, you can get all your environmentally friendly products here, including torches, lanterns, phone chargers and other windups


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 07:24 AM

I just collapsed laughing!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 10 Mar 09 - 06:59 AM

Trade Stalls

Amongst the traders invited this year are:

Leakey쳌fs Camping Supplies

Here you can get Leakey tents, Leakey water bottles, Leakey gas stoves, Leakey airbeds,
Leakey chemical toilets

Also among their accessories are collapsible chairs, collapsible tables, and collapsible camp beds


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 10:55 AM

LOL


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 10:36 AM

??


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Art Thieme
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 12:21 PM

What a farce! It sounds more like the Blatherscam Fu.. And Bloat Festival to me.


Art   ;-)


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 07:19 AM

Don't know about the hill thing. but I understand that they can go hondawater!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Folkiedave
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM

Fish


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Red
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 05:33 AM

Will they be singing Biker Hill (or Bike up Hill)?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 08:32 AM

Yes they all have inflatable panniers on their bikes.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 06:35 AM

Presumeably, the bikers have a contingency flood plan?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 06:05 AM

For anyone thinking of coming from foreign climes... the Blitherscrum dollar is very weak at present so you would get an excellent exchange rate. This is not another 'watered' down attempt to attract you to the Festival!!! Blithersrum aged bikers group have now offered to do some of the stewarding and to give lifts to and from the station.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 10:16 AM

& many more!!

including

Dr. Moonlight
Professor Startle
The Comb & Paper Orchestra of Great Britain
The Bacup Peanut Dancers
Marie Midget
The Winkle Band


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 09:27 AM

To maximise the funding resources this year, the committee have concluded that since there쳌fs so much good talent around among ordinary folkies, we쳌fve no need to book any top line, top price artistes.

Consequently, the line up this time will be an original mix of up & coming acts both home grown, national & international, & including tribute acts of both present day and those of yesteryear.

Some쳌fve the tribute acts are;

Show of Feet
Patrick Avenue
Demon Hairstylists
Eric Gogle
Des Parker
Nan쳌fs Chalkboard Van

& many more!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 09:08 AM

That would be a real tonic Neovo!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST,Neovo
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 09:00 AM

Has the mooring officer been appointed yet? I'd like to book my gin palace into a prime berth.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 06:30 AM

A request has gone out from the committee for people to act as stewards at the Festival. Must be RNLI trained and have at least an "elementary" life saving certificate. It would also help if they have had any experience of shepherding.... well you know what Folkies can be like in great numbers......
Jezlo and Vinegar Butt have confirmed their attendance.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 05:56 AM

In cases of difficulty, fishing nets on bamboo sticks are available from the festival organisers orifice office


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 05:35 AM

Parking arrangements for cars, camper vans & caravans [inc. trailer tents]

As we are setting up this year쳌fs festival with anti-flood precautions in mind, new arrangements have had to be considered regarding hardstanding for the above vehicles.

The main carpark & caravan area will be situated on higher ground overlooking the festival field.

Should any inundations of water rise up this far, contingencies are in place consisting of giant inflatable swim rings which will be strapped to each vehicle, thus keeping each afloat.

We have dinghies & canoes for hire for traversing the area.

If the numbers arriving during the week exceed the capacity of this area, then latecomers can be accommodated on the several overflow sites.

Dogs.

We are conscious from previous year쳌fs experience that if you wish to bring your pet, they are best kept on a lead at all times.

Should the floods occur, we advise that dog walkers should be very aware that when their animal needs its toilet, special care should be taken to ensure that all solids are collected in the appropriate bags supplied


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 02:02 PM

Aha... Good point


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:42 PM

They won't hear them if they are barbecued will they!!!!!!!!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: GUEST, topsie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:16 PM

If the piggies don't like the smell of bacon, how do you think the local nanny goats are going to feel about the sound of bodhrans?


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:05 PM

Yes... an alliterative treat.. Barbecued Bodhrans and Banjoes!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:36 AM

We hope to reward the piggy wiggies with the tantalising aroma of barbecued bodrhans!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:32 AM

Just a cursory remark to those who were cooking bacon last year on the campsite. Due to the way our country is moving.. with everything having to be 'PC' and no minorities to be upset etc.... it is considered distressing to Farmer Browns pigs to smell bacon cooking ... so please refrain from using bacon.
Also when someone was making scrambled egg last year.. a local chicken was heard to say "There goes my crazy mixed up kid"... so the same must apply to the use of eggs.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:30 AM

Percussion workshop

Bring along your shaky eggs, rattles, wooden tongs, bodrhans etc, & find out how to get the best from them!

Led by a master of these ancient arts, he쳌fll collect them all off you at the start of the session in order that the mixed ability standards of the students doesn쳌ft interfere with the initial lecture.

While this talk is in progress, the instruments will be properly disposed of in the bonfire at the pig roast set up by a team of trained experts


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 11:12 AM

I blame the organisers. Anyway, I thought the cold shoulder was off the buffet menu this year, after the outbreak of Festival Gut last year. I could ba wrong; I usually am. JK.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Happy
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 09:17 AM

The exclusive serious regulated singaround will take place as usual in the upper room of the Oddfellows Hall.

Strangers hoping to get a chance to sing, enter at your own risk as you'll receive the traditional local welcome of frosty stares & the cold shoulder.

Heavily enforced turn taking will move in a clockwise direction except when it comes to your go, when the MC will say in an authoritative & autocratic tone ' Let's have one from old Eric, he's sung here from time immemorial, so deserves to get an extra go'

After the ancient local's bored the pants off everybody with his long winded obscure monologue done in a dialect not his own that no one [not even he] understands, you get your guitar poised to start, but no – the whole room explodes into a frenzied shanty chorale, with old Alfie bawling out the verse & the assemblage bawling back the responses


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 08:45 AM

Don't talk wet. JK.


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:45 AM

This thread appears to be sinking to the depths!!!!


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Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk & Boat Festival 2009
From: Mr Red
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 05:44 AM

Please do not allow your lilo to drift into the adjacent properties nor tie-up to their fence posts. We must not "Come into the Garden Moored"

(Morecombe and Wise 1972)


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