BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Haruo
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:43 AM

This thread is getting overloaded (any time you go over 100 messages in a thread you start killing off the weaker members of the browser family). Sorcha started a Part II Continuation of this Thread thread, and it would be good for the environment and everything if we would all go over there.

Liland

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Melani
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:28 AM

A Corgi is a dog. I'm not sure if they can spell better than you can, and as for replacement, it depends on what you want it to do. I still like rats.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:18 AM

Searching the Internet I once hit a serious suicide message that someone had run through a grammar checker to highlighted all the errors.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 31 Dec 00 - 12:00 AM

I'm not sure what you are saying Shorcha. What's a Corgi? Who should get one, hesperis or me? Will it help me spell or replace me?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:52 PM

That should be 'Would you like to be my proofreader?' Probably not if I'm that sloppy.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Sorcha
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:52 PM

Get a Corgi. Better yet, get two. Perfect People, they are. Just ask Queen Lizzie......or me. She has 20 some, I only have 2. Time for part Two of Carol's Ferrets?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:49 PM

Hey hessy, did Little Hawk lose a mitten and call for backup? Would like to be my proof reader? I never could spell but some days are worse than others.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:31 PM

Hesperis, that unfortunately is one of the few words I have trouble with.....I meant desperate....

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: hesperis
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 11:21 PM

flattop,
I am shocked and appalled.

"piliosophies"???

"WyWoman"???

"tramatic"???

"Mississauga"??? Are you talking about the CITY or what? In Orillia, we have *Mississaga* street. He-llooo!

"feable"???

What is WITH the feeble non-excuse for real spelling?!!! I do hope you realize that you also are being graded? Although you are getting good points for originality, your poor spelling is really dragging your marks down. Please correct this in future installments of your story.

Amergin - While I'm on the subject of poor spelling: when you wrote "desparate", did you mean disparate or desperate? *g*

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Matt_R
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 07:27 PM

Audi, here you go.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Diva
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 07:11 PM

So why can't you have both? Or is that just greedy?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Matt_R
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 06:46 PM

Amergin...that was a cheeeeeeaaaapp shot man!

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: MAG (inactive)
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 06:19 PM

Aroostook County -- Naemanson mentioned Aroostook County -- my Dad is from there (Mars Hill). Someone else has heard of it! surrounded on 3 sides by Canada, it is.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: GUEST,Audi
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 06:00 PM

LOL! Amergin, is that supposed to reflect on me or on 'Mr. Whoa!!' ?

I may be desperate, but I'm not desparate. ;)

And, I don't intend to creep on Carol's thread, either.

Will you start a new one?

Audi

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:51 PM

Sounds like someone's a bit on the desparate side....

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: GUEST,Audi
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:49 PM

It doesn't take a registered member to figure out that you, Mr. WHOA!!, are already caged. And it's a pity... ;)

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Matt_R
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:37 PM

WHOA!!

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: GUEST,Audi
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 05:30 PM

Well, as an increasingly-interested lurker here, and a female empathetic to Carol's dilemma, I've got to ask: how can a woman ferret out which Mudcat men are single/available and which have already been snared?

Will someone make a new thread for it?

Audi

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 01:33 PM

"flattop... step over here and say that."

I've heard that line before Carol but I never expect American women to be ready for combat.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 01:25 PM

I'm pleased that you put the seat down Little Hawk. Other than that we should probably save our piliosophies of toileting until we meet. Do you realize how many men you've offended who only have that one bad habit of leaving the seat up? (WyWoman sounds like the kind of man we need around the house, Little Hawk.)

I realize that you have urges to run through Orillia naked. However, I believe the proper and traditional ettiqute is that is that one person can challenge another to a duel and the other person get to decide on swords or pistols and the venue. I don't think Dylan is a sword or a pistol. Well, maybe he's a pistol, metaphorically.

To initiate a duel, you are supposed to slap me with a glove or something. If you slap me with your silly orange and brown soft angora mittens with huge thumbs that you knitted to match your silly orange and brown soft angora hat while sitting for hours on the toilet, I may just laugh in your face. I hope you've burnt that knitting pattern. Don't knit me a set for next Christmas.

By the way, when are you going to have enough confidence to wear mittens that don't have strings running through the arms of your jacket? Come on. Take a risk like tough Canadian boys do. Lose a mitten now and again. It's not all that tramatic. So, one afternoon you lose a mitten and can't make perfect snowballs. You'll live though it.

Hitting me with your nickel studded supple leather collar won't do either. It's too stylish and inoffensive. And you can forget about using your nylon half-body harness with lined wrist & ankle cumfy cuffs. If I see you coming with that apparatus you won't get close enough to slap me. I'll run slipping and sliding through the snow up Mississauga Street to the Police station on Peter Street.

The only piece of clothing that you wear that might respectably be used to initiate a duel is that 48-pocket harmonica holder. Who would not want to shoot you if they got hit over the head with a leather apron loaded with 48 harmonicas? How can you walk wearing that thing?

On a more important matter, I haven't seen your written excuse on the Seamus in Snyder thread. Since Praise invited the Orillia gang to drive to Buffalo in a snowstorm, it's pretty important. Did you ever feel welcome in Buffalo before? Do you realize that, if you pass in no excuse, you will lose even more points than you would had you writing a feable excuse?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 10:48 AM

Oh, for God's sake!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Naemanson
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 10:34 AM

I don't know if the hamster or the ferret is the answer. Sure the hamster is cute and cuddly, a little rounded lump o' love, but is that enough. The ferret has a certain physiological resemblance to a popular (for some) bit of male anatomy. Add to that the fur, playfulness and smell and you could be dealing with a man after all.

Still, there's nothing like the real thing!

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: sledge
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 04:39 AM

CarolC

Having been a boyfriend a few times, go for the ferret.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Amergin
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 01:28 AM

You dated a hamster?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: CarolC
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 12:51 AM

"That cute face! Those black, beady eyes! That soft fur! Those funny poses! That stubby little tail!"

hesperis, you just described my last boyfriend.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 00 - 12:24 AM

flattop - As hesperis indicated, I don't raise the stupid seat in the first place. Why? Because there's no need to. If I'm in the forest I pee standing up, but when I'm in a comfortable bathroom then why not relax and sit down? It works fine, and you don't have to worry about aiming. It utterly baffles me why virtually all men feel that they must pee into a toilet standing up, but I suppose it's because that's the way they were first taught to do it, and nothing more than that. Doh!

Either that, or they're just too damn lazy to pull down their own pants.

Believe me, the women are way ahead on this one. Doesn't surprise me one bit, cos that's usually the case...

I am offended that you would term my compassion "cavalier". Yes, deeply offended. I demand satisfaction. Meet me in front of the Orillia Opera House at noon tomorrow, and we shall have it out. The first man to misquote a line from any Bob Dylan song has to strip off all his clothes and run naked down the main street of Orillia (that's Mississaga Street for all you people out there in La-la land), and then jump off the dock into Lake Couchiching. The jump will not, however, be required if the Lake is frozen over...

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: hesperis
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 11:44 PM

In defense of the Hawkster, (for ONCE!) he actually does put the toilet seat down.

Actually, he leaves it down. (Bet you really wanted to know that... *g*)

Oh, and Carol, now that you've seen a pic of my hamster, are you SURE you want to settle for a man or a ferret? Face it, hamsters are FAR superior. (Especially in the cuteness of the posterior...) That cute face! Those black, beady eyes! That soft fur! Those funny poses! That stubby little tail!

Think about it.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: WyoWoman
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 10:30 PM

Having raised two children by myself, I learned to do all manner of household stuff by myself, including lawn mowing, toilet un-stopping, oil changes and just about anything requiring a cordless drill, depending on the attachment. Still, I do enjoy the company of a nice man from time to time to help with the heavy lifting -- as long as he's furry and playful. Ferrets might be the latter, but they're not much help when it comes to the former.

ww

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 09:42 PM

flattop... step over here and say that.

It was cavernous.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 09:06 PM

Maybe your scrawny bones would flush down the hole, Little Hawk, but they'd have to use a plunger to get my fat ass through. I have just one thing to say about your cavalier attitude to my misfortune. PUT THE DAMN SEAT DOWN!

And no, Carol, I don't want to try immersing myself in the toilet bowl pregnant but I'd be interested in hearing what kind of hair brained scheme you had in mind when you suggested this. Did your toilet feel larger when you were inside it?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 07:33 PM

Better yet, Little Hawk, put the phone in the bathroom...

Bert, that's really cool.

flattop, try immersing yourself in the toilet bowl when you're pregnant. That happened to me once. I almost needed several friends to come to my aid to extricate me from the toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM

Flattop, I had been rather worried about your post-Christmas depression, but now I am deeply concerned! This latest clumsy attempt to end it all fortunately did not succeed. But...what if you had, in your struggles to extricate yourself from the porcelain fixture, happened to place your hand on the flush handle, thus activating the infernal device. Imagine the horror of it! A last view of the world (albeit in a darkened room, so not much of a view at that) spinning round and round frenetically, then a hideous "GALOOOOONK!" sound as you vanished forever from our world. You probably wouldn't have been missed for weeks.

Hell, make that months...

I hope you have come to your senses. Stay away from the bathroom, and don't unplug the phone. Your friends are just a call away. :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Bert
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 04:23 PM

You're right Carol, rats make really good pets. They never bite (mice do) and they'll play just like puppies. They're smart too. We used to breed them one time. We had several breeding pairs, in large aquariums (No water in them, before anyone gets sarky). Well we were out of town for a few weeks and the kids let them escape. The rats reorganized their cages into a little township. One was the outhouse and they never pooped outside of it, another was the nursery, ALL the pups were kept there in one big hapy pile. And another was the grownup's living room.

Bert.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: flattop
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:30 PM

"Why do women need men?" "Because you can't mow the lawn with a finger."

(From the book, 'They Used to Call Me Snow White... But I Drifted; Women's Strategic Use of Humor.' Methinks. I can't trust my memory these days.)

I tend to leave the toilet seat down because I like to sit and read on the toilet. I hardly ever stand up and read. Recently I found that I had left the seat up when I came home to a dark, cold, house, rushed into the bathroom and immersed myself in cold water and porcelain. The toilet seems larger when you experience it that way.

Having that recent experience, I'd like to suggest that the issue isn't fairly traded in a tit for no-tit fashion. Like many women's issues, it's more of an issue of consequence and suffering. The only fair trade might be, "I'll trade off this suffering for that suffering of yours."

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: kendall
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:09 PM

Stick to just having good friends. They are a lot less trouble.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 01:27 PM

No, not really.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: CarolC
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:32 PM

Wow, guest. You really don't have any issues, do you?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 11:42 AM

...never took to domestication very well, which is probably why the marriage went south...but (bitch, gripe and complain mode = ON)..."domestication" must mean that the man take responsibility for everything. If the woman sees that the grass needs mowing or the garbage needs emptying, there's no reason why she can't fire up that lawn mower, or trot the trash out to the curb herself...likewise, in the interest of fairness, if the man sees that the dishes need washing or a load of laundry needs to be done, he can take care of it...

The next time around (if there is a next time) there will be a detailed prenuptial wherein both parties agree that if something needs taking care of, whoever notices it first has the responsibility to correct it. If that proves to be unrealistic, then there's going to be some serious trades made, such as: never having to scrub a toilet bowl in exchange for full responsibility for fixing any appliance or mechanical device that goes awry.

Segue into why men have to accept full responsibility for the position of the toilet seat at all times. Men lost some serious ground in this battle. Aren't men (that is, men of sanitary manners and less than marksmanship capabilities) just as likely as women, statistically speaking, to find the seat in the wrong position for the elimination of liquid waste? Before the arbitrary and unfair resolution to this issue of paramount importance, how often over a beer at the local pub did one man complain to another, "And dammit, every time I whizz at home I have to lift that freakin' seat up!"?

The next time the rotten plumbing has to be taken apart to remove an unsightly hair clog so that the scummy bath water can drain, she can handle that and I'll make a nice lasagna.

Oh, the price men pay in exchange for not having to bear children. (bitch, gripe, and complain mode = OFF)

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: GUEST,Thom M. at work
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:46 AM

All I can think when you combine men and ferrets is "Ol' Ferret Face" himself Frank Burns on M*A*S*H. I sure hope that's not what you folks have in mind.
PS. My wife and I have been married for 28 yrs. Sorcha and I cook, do the groceries, laundry and put down the seat. She has me very well trained. The only task that I really was never too crazy about was changing the kids crappy diapers.
Thom M.

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: zander (inactive)
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 03:45 AM

Get a ferret Carol, in the words of an old song ' I'm awa hame to my ain wee garret, if I cannae get a man, I'll surely get a parrot { carrot } Love Dave

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Amergin
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:17 AM

No, Sorcha, we were not talking about watered down piss, we were talking about tools....;)

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:09 AM

"Milwaukee's Best".......

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Amergin
Date: 29 Dec 00 - 12:05 AM

Yes, Matt, Milwaukee is the brand....they are a great piece of machinery....now if only the gens I used to work on had been half as good.....

Amergin

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Matt_R
Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:39 PM

Ooooh ChiTown....

No no, Milwaukee is the brand that makes THE Sawzall. I have one, big red metal case...with "Milwaukee" in fancy letters on the top...

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:36 PM

Spaw, are we talking a Holstein Fridge here? Well, hell, man, just spray paint the damn thing..........black blobs on white ground......maybe it will give milk on demand..or even better, food on demand, like an AutoMat, only better......."Please Send Stacked Green Chile Enchiladas With Sour Cream"........Oh lord I wish..(send tamales......)

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:18 PM

'Scuse me Matt, but what does Milwaukee have to do with this? I was not aware the the Blackhawks were in Milwaukee......... thought they were inChiTown,or is it something else more obtuse?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:13 PM

Ya' gotta' get it together Sorch!!! We have a big, black, Amana fridge and a matching stove. My friend Wayne refers to it as the "Black Hole." Truly, the black almost makes it negative space. If it were white, it would look HUGE!!! Our biggest regret is that Amana came out with this model (low freezer) in the next year painted to look like a Holstein! Wish we had that one!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Matt_R
Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:12 PM

The Milwaukee Sawzall Vacuum cleaner!!!

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:06 PM

Naemeson, great idea there......but my appliances are all already black.......excpet the fridge.......maybe I need black garbage cans? Black cat litter boxes? Oh dear....Carol, rats really are cool, aren't they?

Subject: RE: BS: CarolC's Decision:NewBoyfriend or Ferret
From: CarolC
Date: 28 Dec 00 - 11:01 PM

By the way, I like rats better than ferrets, too. My favorite pet rat was Simon. He used to come when his name was called, and he didn't need to be kept in a cage. He was very smart.

I even took him to the movies once. He was riding on my shoulder, concealed under my hair. For those of you who don't know, rats make great pets.

And I would just like to say, for the record, that I think men are wonderful.

Carol