BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 13 May 05 - 11:46 PM

Born free, free as the wind blows . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST
Date: 13 May 05 - 07:58 PM

where ayre you be let your air go free

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,snake expert
Date: 13 May 05 - 04:45 PM

A Puff adder is one who farts in the bath and counts the bubbles

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 13 May 05 - 05:24 AM

OOPS sorry was that me?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,Beenz
Date: 12 May 05 - 07:47 AM

Hiya

Definitions:

Amiable person: Someone who likes the smell of other people's farts.

Conceited person: Someone who likes the smell of their own farts.

Aquatic person: Someone who farts in the bath tub. (They like the feel of those little bubbles between the "cheeks".)

Inconsiderate person: Someone who farts in a crowded elevator (lift).

Foolish person: Someone who supresses a fart for hours, for the sake of company.

Unfortunate person: Someone who tries to fart, but shits instead.

Try saying this really fast:

One smart feller, he felt smart.
Two smart fellers, they both felt smart.
Three smart fellers, they all felt smart.

Does Bass Ale give anybody out there the wind? It sure does me. I sound like a trombone concerto after a few of those. My wife complains about it, but she keeps the fridge well stocked. (Yes, we Yanks like our bevvies cold.)

Bye

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 May 05 - 06:23 AM

Hey, that looks like the back door of the Tavern after I got locked in!!!!

Well a girl has to get out sometimes!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 05 - 07:45 PM

UncleToad: this answer yer question?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,fartmeasurer
Date: 11 May 05 - 07:27 PM

Estimate only would be 3.24 metres radius. Cannot be exact as have never had the inclination to measure such phenomena before.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: UncleToad
Date: 11 May 05 - 07:07 PM

On a good sunny day with no wind...how far (picture ripple effect) will a 1st class chili bean and beer paint peeler spread...and please explain how you came up with your answer...math? science? other means?

Uncle(ReadytoEvacuate)Toad

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 11 May 05 - 06:02 PM

Who farted?
Who broke wind?
Who let one go?
Who let polly out of prison?
Who trumped?
Who fluffed?
Who pipped?
Awwwwww who did that?????
Best wishes to all

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Azizi
Date: 10 May 05 - 10:22 PM

Out??? Am I out?

Oh, shucks! I wanted to be IT!!

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 10 May 05 - 08:17 PM

Ditto that.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:41 PM

Azizi, you have to get out more!

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Azizi
Date: 10 May 05 - 06:02 PM

Brucie said:

.."they emptied the institutions today."

[And I say "Who is they? And what institutions are you referring to?"]

Brucie also said
"This thread was supposed to stop at seventy-five. Y'all jus' have to let it go."

[And I say "Why should we stop when we're havin fun?'?"]

Hey, I just got an IDEA!!!

What do you think of a children's elimination rhyme that plays off the concept of stinky poo feet? We can call it "Rotten or Fresh!

Here are the instructions:
'Children' stand in a horizontal line.
One 'leader' stands facing the other 'children'.
The children extend one foot out toward that designated leader.
The leader starts chanting the words
"Rotten or Fresh. Pee Ewe! [or however that 'you' sounding word is spelled] "Rotten or Fresh. Pee ewe!"
With each word he or she chants, the leader points to a different child's foot.
The child whose foot is pointed to at the last "Ewe!" has to say either the word "Rotten" or the word "Fresh".
If, for instance, the child chooses the word "Rotten", the leader spells out the word "R-O-T-T-E-N", and points to a different foot with each letter.
The leader then continues pointing to a different child as he or she says the words "and you are OUT!"

This continues until the last person remains. That person is "IT".

So is this the folk process or what???!!!!

Of course this doesn't have too much to do with this thread, except for the rotten smelly feet...

But I think this has potential. What do you think?





Azizi Powell

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:55 PM

Jaysus, they emptied the institutions today. This thread was supposed to stop at seventy-five. Y'all jus' have to let it go.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Azizi
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:38 PM

Okay we got a what. But it's rotten.

Any fresh hunks who hang around here?

Not that I'm lookin or anything.

Inquiring minds just wanna know...

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:25 PM

I just found a rotten hunk of onion in my vegetable basket... nothing smells as bad as rotten onion. Not even the smelliest fart in the world.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Azizi
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:12 PM

Only fresh hunks please.

No rotten ones allowed.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Azizi
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:00 PM

hink, hank, hunk...

Who's a hunk?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:41 PM

Wink, wank, wunk?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Azizi
Date: 10 May 05 - 03:10 PM

blink, blank, bunk..
or 'blunk' ???!!!

But this there is about 'bunk'- so oh well...

Sometime 'bunk' is best...

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 10 May 05 - 02:55 PM

Drink, drank, drunk?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 10 May 05 - 02:50 PM

and think, thank, thunk.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Azizi
Date: 10 May 05 - 02:50 PM

And a strong wind is often needed to blow away funk.

["ill" just didn't fit that sentence for me..So I moved to a stronger, more soulful word-"funk' meaning "funky", meaning "smelly" meaning "stink, stank, stunk."]

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 10 May 05 - 02:39 PM

It's an ill wind that blows no good.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: freda underhill
Date: 10 May 05 - 02:04 PM

hey, brucie, this thread is becoming a diary of people's deepest inner .. thoughts. you touched a um nerve there, bruce. one day this thread will be archived among the 100 most significant documents of the 21st century.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 May 05 - 01:14 PM

Only if you put it in the wrong way!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: bobad
Date: 10 May 05 - 07:33 AM

Now that sounds downright kinky LtS.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 May 05 - 04:43 AM

Brucie - I have it on good authority that champagne corks are better, especially when inserted with the aid of a croquet mallet.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:07 PM

. . . or one of these little beauties.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:04 PM

"Now then, to repeat a question that I asked in some other thread, you know all these adverts for products that ease "trapped wind"?"

May I suggest one of these?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 May 05 - 09:27 PM

My nephew insists on farting everywhere and anywhere profusely. Just before he left his last job, he treated himself to Indian food for lunch and then retired to his cubicle to let it ferment. The resulting farts seeped into the fabric of his chair and became (in his words) Perma-Fart. Anyone who sat in the chair was immediately treated to a cloud of curry fart.The memory lingers on.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Gray D
Date: 09 May 05 - 08:25 PM

Brucie,

That's only if, in a moment of . . . erm . . .excitement, you get your wossname caught in a shop's till.

Now then, to repeat a question that I asked in some other thread, you know all these adverts for products that ease "trapped wind"? Well . . . er . . . anyone got any idea what that might be?

Gray D

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 May 05 - 06:16 PM

Maybe your crabs are back and on the move.....

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: bobad
Date: 09 May 05 - 05:32 PM

One word brucie PINWORMS

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 09 May 05 - 05:21 PM

Probably not, but maybe you ought to change your pants....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 05 - 03:01 PM

Hey, y'all. Me arse is itchy today. Does that mean I'm coming into money?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: jacqui.c
Date: 09 May 05 - 12:09 PM

Freda - funnily enough I had the same thought - who else could it have been?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Peace
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:52 AM

It makes one feel good to have the confidence of one's peers.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: freda underhill
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:24 AM

You know, I saw the title of this thread, and i thought "Bruce Murdoch".

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 May 05 - 11:17 AM

Bobad:

Yep, that's what a "petard" is!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: bobad
Date: 09 May 05 - 09:41 AM

Hence, hoisted on one's own petard ?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST
Date: 08 May 05 - 03:56 PM

Oooooooh

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 05 - 03:46 PM

French lessons brought a whole new meaning to 'Pet Shop Boys'....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST
Date: 08 May 05 - 03:05 PM

Uh, first e.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST
Date: 08 May 05 - 02:54 PM

They peter with an accent aigu over the firt e.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST
Date: 08 May 05 - 02:42 PM

French-speaking people in Canada don't fart.

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,Azizi
Date: 08 May 05 - 01:41 PM

So do the French speaking Canadians say "Pardon my English" when they let one rip?

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,brucie
Date: 08 May 05 - 01:40 PM

I knew a girl who used to say, "I gotta go honkers" or "Who went honkers?".

Subject: RE: BS: Gas, Wind, Flatulence
From: GUEST,jacqui.c
Date: 08 May 05 - 01:36 PM

A work colleague of mine used to refer to it as 'releasing foul air"