Obit: My Wife

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,Mato Nupai
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:00 PM

The condolences offered here are heartfelt and each stands on its
own merit.

Aloha nui loa Stilly.

I don't recall saying or implying that condolences offered to David were not heartfelt or sincere.

I don't think we need annotations and corrections on those
empirical statements. There's no one right way to grieve.

I will agree with you on one fact "There is no one right way to grieve"

However; I will say there are bad ways to grieve, and better ways to grieve.

David is going through the assorted levels of grief in a good way. I know that some opinions were well intentioned; but those methods would depress David's mood instead of lifting his mood.

If David gets stuck and is not progressing through the levels or grief; then those techniques would be a good way to force him to move forward.

This is a recent traumatic event. I ask that you allow David the chance to progress through grief in an orderly manner instead of thinking he has to progress through grief on your timetable.

Heidi is getting the help she needs on the other side, and David has several friends around him to help any way they can.

Two Bears

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:55 PM

Sorry for your trouble. I hope perhaps somehow it helps a little having us say that.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:22 PM

The condolences offered here are heartfelt and each stands on its own merit. They will be weighed by the party to whom they are offered. I don't think we need annotations and corrections on those empirical statements. There's no one right way to grieve.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,Mato Nupai
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:13 PM

Hi, Two Bears. Nice to hear from you on Mudcat Cafe. You know, you could easily join this forum under the name "Mato Nupai"...just click on the link that says "Membership Has Its Rewards" at the top of the screen, and follow the instructions. All you have to do is pick a membername and a secret code to log in with. As a regular Mudcat member, you will have a whole brand new way of frivolously consuming vast amounts of your valuable time each day, like the rest of us! :-)
-----

Aloha nui loa Little Hawk; my brother.

I appreciate the invitationl but we will see how things goes for a while. OK?

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,Mato Nupai
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 05:11 PM

Little Hawk, to have discovered, through you, the miraculous spiritual technology of ancient Hawaii called HUNA. Holy HUNA!   :-)
----

Aloha nui loa Daylia; my sister.

I was very pleased to meet you and LH in Atlanta.

The Hawaiians did not have a name for their system. Huna was the name given to this spiritual technology by Max Freedom Long.

Two Bears

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Metchosin
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 04:23 PM

I'm so sorry David.

Susan

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: vindelis
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 04:11 PM

Who ever said 'God always takes the rose before the thorn' certainly knew what they were talking about. Peace be with you. It could be a long tunnel, but there will be light at the end.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:59 AM

Hi, Two Bears. Nice to hear from you on Mudcat Cafe. You know, you could easily join this forum under the name "Mato Nupai"...just click on the link that says "Membership Has Its Rewards" at the top of the screen, and follow the instructions. All you have to do is pick a membername and a secret code to log in with. As a regular Mudcat member, you will have a whole brand new way of frivolously consuming vast amounts of your valuable time each day, like the rest of us! :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: *daylia*
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:42 AM

David should share stories when he is ready and NOT before. Right now David needs to go through the grieving phase, and his wife needs healing on the other side. If he is forced to discuss his wife before he is ready; her soul will know of his grief and she will come back to be with him instead of getting the help she needs.

Aloha nui loa, Two Bears;   

I'm so glad you've decided to post here. It's very difficult to know how to deal with tragic situations like David's in a healthy way. Especially in Western culture, where passing on is still such a misunderstood, feared and taboo subject for most people.

Thank you for your insights. I'm taking them into contemplation as I work out the best ways of "being there" for my friend. It's been a real pleasure to have your wise and caring influence in my life over the last few months, to have met you in Atlanta with Little Hawk, to have discovered, through you, the miraculous spiritual technology of ancient Hawaii called HUNA. Holy HUNA!   :-)

Mahalo nui loa,

daylia

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,Mato Nupai
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:29 AM

And friends, remember to call him often- even weeks from now. Especially weeks from now! Make note of the date of her death, call him every month on that date. Let him know he's loved. Invite him to supper. Tell him your memories of his wife, however trivial they may seem to you, they will be precious to him. Dig out every photo that might have a glimpse of her. David will need you for the long haul.
----

Forive me again Allison.

You are right and wrong at the same time.

You are correct that David's friends should lend their support and contact him often.

I would NOT recommend calling David on the monthly aniversary of Heidi's passing. That day would be a good day to take David out to eat, or go out to a movie to lift his mood.

Calling on the monthly aniversary of her death would lower his mood instead of elevate it.

Two Bears.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,Mato Nupai
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:23 AM

Hello Little Hawk; my brother. It was a pleasure meeting you last month in Atlanta.

Two Bears

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,Mato Nupai
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:20 AM

I'm glad you've reached out to these folks. They will be here for you, too. In many cultures, sitting in vigil with the bereaved is a way to honor the dead and honor the grief. We are here for you, candles burning. Say what you need to, and especially, tell us about your wife. We want to know her, too

----

Aloha nui loa Alison; my sister.

Forgive me Alison;

David should share storyies when he is ready and NOT before. Right now David neend to go throu the grieving phase, and his wife needs healing on the other side. If he is forced to discuss his wife before he is ready; her soul will know of his grief and she will come back to be with him instead of getting the help she needs.

Right now both of them are doing what is best; so please leave it at that until he is ready to talk about this.

Two Bears.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,Mato Nupai
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:08 AM

David:

I am VERY sorry to hear of your loss.

Two Bears

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: My guru always said
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:23 AM

{{{So Sorry David...}}}
So glad that you are surrounded by good people.
I wish you all the good memories,
Hil

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: catspaw49
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 07:04 AM

I am so sorry Raptor. Like many of the others here, I cannot find the words to express what I feel for you at this time. You have my very best thoughts though.......Please take care of yourself David. Karen and I both send you our best thoughts and deepest sympathy.

Pat

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 04:16 AM

Don't look for logic; don't look for an explanation. Look for the happy memories and lock them. THEY were the reason you met and loved.
She is not gone - just not with you physically.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Escamillo
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 03:44 AM

In the first anniversary of my dear wife's passing, I can only send you a hug and the assurance that you will find at Mudcat the strength and the contention that you need. My thoughts are with you.

Un abrazo
Andrés (in Buenos Aires)

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GMT
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 03:39 AM

So very sorry.

Gary

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Edain
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 02:25 AM

I know theres nothing I can say that'll make everything alright again but my thoughts are with you. I can't even imagine what you're going through.

Edain

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:58 PM

My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
Barb

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Tig
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:05 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Raptor}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

My thoughts are with you.

Love and hugs,
Tig xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Donuel
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:14 PM

So sorry,
Don

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 11:11 AM

So sorry, Raptor. You're in our thoughts too.

Steve & Sue

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Alba
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:32 AM

My deepest Sympathy David. How terribly Sad. Words fail me!
You are in my Thoughts.

Jude

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: InOBU
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:33 AM

David:
I know that that is an unemaginable loss and pain. I can only offer that as that pain changes over time, you will know that you are always part her.
Holding you in the light
Larry

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 06:23 AM

Love and good thoughts. Please, when you are ready, tell us something about your wife.

Jacqui xxxx

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Partridge
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 05:51 AM

I'm so sorry

Pat xx

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: GUEST,KB
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 05:25 AM

Condolences. Really sorry to hear this aweful news.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: gnu
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 05:09 AM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: JennieG
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:35 AM

Very sad news...so sorry.
Hugs
JennieG

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: HuwG
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:58 AM

Commiserations and sympathies.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:45 AM

Sorry to hear this. Best wishes from Wales, take care

Ella

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:41 AM

Deepest sympathies, too, from me.

RtS

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: fat B****rd
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:09 AM

Please accept my condolences. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: open mike
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 01:49 AM

sending hugs, casseroles, banana bread,
songs, and more hugs, in a north easterly direction.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Mudlark
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 01:42 AM

David...Words fail in the face of a loss such as this, but my heart and my thoughts go out to you.   Nancy

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: DonMeixner
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:37 AM

David,

My deepest sympathies to you.

Don

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:29 AM

Open Mike - We are located near the Barrie-Orillia area, south-central Ontario, Canada...due north of Toronto about 85 miles.

- LH

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 11:03 PM

I'm so sorry to hear this, David

Ernie

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: maire-aine
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:06 PM

I am so very sorry.

Maryanne

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: open mike
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 09:58 PM

can not find where little hawk, daylia or raptor are?
please let us know. I would like to know which direction
to send energy!!

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 09:23 PM

Sorry to hear this, my thoughts are with you.Take care.

John

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 08:50 PM

My heartfelt sympathy to you David. Take care of yourself and remember the good times you shared together, it will help you get through the bad.
Love, Sue

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: open mike
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 08:44 PM

such a shock.
I am sending hugs and
wishes for strength
to help you in your
grief and in your
life to come. take
a deep breath.
Laurel

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 08:17 PM

My sincere condolences and sympathy.

Seamus Kennedy

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Alice
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:49 PM

David, I am so sorry. What a tragedy for you and your family. My sympathy to you and yours in your grief and loss.

Alice

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Peg
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:34 PM

oh, how awful not to know what caused it. And so young. I can't imagine your pain now. I hope you can find comfort in knowing this small community is thinking of you and grieving with you, and will be there for any solace you need us for.

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: bbc
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:28 PM

I'm glad you started this thread. Thanks for letting us have a small part in caring for you.

bbc

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:15 PM

David,
I'm so glad you're surrounded by good friends. Lean on them, hard.

And friends, remember to call him often- even weeks from now. Especially weeks from now! Make note of the date of her death, call him every month on that date. Let him know he's loved. Invite him to supper. Tell him your memories of his wife, however trivial they may seem to you, they will be precious to him. Dig out every photo that might have a glimpse of her. David will need you for the long haul.

Allison

Subject: RE: Obit: My Wife
From: Dave Swan
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:08 PM

Deepest condolences. A song goes out to her.

D&P