Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,gUYEST Date: 19 Feb 01 - 05:21 PM TETRAMETER -- not quadrameter -- 4 a line with 4 feet |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 19 Feb 01 - 04:55 PM As we used to say,"If you haven't been banged in Bangor, you've never been banged before!" |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Feb 01 - 03:43 PM Bangor sounds like a lively place, but not quite as lively as Bangkok, in all probability. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 19 Feb 01 - 11:38 AM Another nautical limerick: There was a young lady from Bangor, Who fell asleep while her ship lay at anchor; She awoke with dismay, When she heard Kendall say, "Boys, hoist up the top sheet and spanker!" Back to meditation. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Feb 01 - 10:45 AM Shameful! Disgusting! Lewd, vile, and unconscionable! Keep 'em comin', guys. I'll write the clean ones, you write the dirty ones. Each to his own. - LH |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 19 Feb 01 - 01:41 AM A sensitive bloke, Little Hawk At off-color lim'ricks would balk But the thread just got nastier And the limericks rastier No matter how much he would squawk! A |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: guest(intruder-inactive) Date: 18 Feb 01 - 09:00 PM in advance, your pardon but i'm of the opinion that limericks are by nature "dirty" a water pipe suited miss hunt and she used it for many a bunt but the unfortunate wench got it stuck in her trench it took 22 men and a big stilson wrench to get the thing out of her c**t |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Feb 01 - 08:35 PM There once was so silly a thread It made CH just wish he were dead Nothing folky or trad Just limericks so bad They could knock a sick horse out of bed And I started it. Mea culpa! - LH |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C Date: 18 Feb 01 - 05:17 PM Well, here's some favorite late adds to this thread: There once was a poet named McNamiter, Whose tool was of prodigious diameter, But it wasn't the size, Gave the gals the surprise, Twas his rhythm – iambic pentameter! There was a young widow named Brice, Who kept her dead husband on ice; She said,"Twas hard when I lost him, I'll never defrost him, It's rather cold comfort but nice." And for the nautical crowd: There once was a pirate named Gates, Who thought he'd do battle on skates, But he fell on his cutlass, Which rendered him nutless, And practically useless on dates. Arghhh!
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Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 24 Nov 00 - 07:05 AM Thanks, Guest johntm. I have to come up with some trochees first. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,johntm Date: 23 Nov 00 - 09:44 PM carolc get back into it you are fun without being vulgar |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: hesperis Date: 22 Nov 00 - 12:04 AM Well, boxette, this IS a limerick thread... If anyone's gonna be offended, they shouldn't even be reading this thread! Limericks are supposed to offend --- but they have to do it well. :P-* (a raspberry "pfffft!" to anyone who's offended. So there.) |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Boxette Date: 21 Nov 00 - 06:16 AM There was a young man of Degrizes Whose balls were of different sizes One was so small it was no ball at all But the other one won several prizes There was a young girl from Australia Who painted her arse like a dahlia 2p a smell went down very well But 5p a lick was a failure Wish I could write the one about the guy from Buckingham, but I would definitely offend somebody Kit |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 21 Nov 00 - 02:56 AM That probably makes no sense to anyone but me. The key word here is over (my head). |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 21 Nov 00 - 02:52 AM .....zzzzoooooommmmm!!!!!! ----------------------------------> ...(:-o) <---my head |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 21 Nov 00 - 01:45 AM You guys are so Illoquent! I swan! :>) A |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Greyeyes Date: 20 Nov 00 - 01:37 PM Sounds right to me CarolC. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 20 Nov 00 - 02:36 AM So this would be amphibrachs then... The lovers of John Latour Snyder Who feasted on apples and cider Were gnarled old witches And elegant bitches Created by A. Pinkham Ryder Yes? (stole that one too) |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Amos Date: 19 Nov 00 - 12:50 PM Your rhyming, good Hawk, is quite lyrical And induces a mood near hysterical And the substance, good host Seems to wander quite close To what Japanese call metaphyrickle! |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Nov 00 - 11:05 PM Let's have limericks of wit and good taste That will not cause offense to the chaste Not these 4 letter words It's becoming absurd My poor thread is becoming debased!
For these hideous, scurrillous knaves
Oh, alas, that my dear thread should pine
To this thread so in need of his grace Spaw...you must come at once and restore decency, temperance, and good taste to this thread. Otherwise, I fear that all may be lost! = LH |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 18 Nov 00 - 10:40 PM There is always:- There was a young woman from Bude Who went for a swim in the Lake When a man in a punt stuck his pole in her .....ear and said "You can't swim here it's private
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Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Greyeyes Date: 18 Nov 00 - 01:15 PM Anyway, enough frivolity, time to get serious
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Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Greyeyes Date: 18 Nov 00 - 01:05 PM I think there's another one as well, something like "The Amphibrach next with his stressed middle beat." It's been a long time!
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Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Greyeyes Date: 18 Nov 00 - 12:56 PM Iambus comes with steady pace Swift the Trochee takes his place Follows the Dactyl on hurrying feet And last but not least, the rare Anapest. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Wavestar Date: 18 Nov 00 - 12:00 PM Carol, Iambic verse in four beats is quadrameter. I didn't know that much about anapests and dactyls, and here I'm an English major... you learn something new everyday, on Mudcat! -J |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 18 Nov 00 - 11:10 AM Little Hawk, I think that was anapests! |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 18 Nov 00 - 09:42 AM If you think that your time's being wasted And your wine of life's not being tasted Then consider old Spaw Who's still wagging his jaw And poor IARF who's getting lambasted |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 18 Nov 00 - 03:11 AM Alright then. Double dactyls it is. Higgledy Piggledy Wesley B. Walker Taught all of his students The virtues of sin Gratification Excells sublimation He swore by the hair of His chinny chin chin (I stole that one.) |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 16 Nov 00 - 03:26 AM Ok, can someone help me here? (Seamus, you back from Ireland yet?)
When you read Mudcat posts |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Midchuck Date: 04 Nov 00 - 10:21 PM Friday, the Rutland County Bar Association had its annual meeting and all-day continuing education session. There was a seminar on effect of the new Civil Unions law in Vermont on the lawyer's everyday practice, and I was drafted as a panelist for the real estate aspects. After I had given my spiel and sat me down, another guy was speaking on the estate planning and tax aspects of the law, and I got to doodling while not listening to him as closely as I should have, and came up with the following:
A couple got married, though gay. So am I a really bad person? Peter. (British Isles 'catters: IRA = Individual Retirement Account, not Irish Republican Army, for purposes of this literary work.) |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: tradman Date: 04 Nov 00 - 08:03 PM Yipes! this has turned into a terrible pun forum. In a effort to gets things back on the right track... An Argentine gaucho named Bruno Said F*cking is one thing I do know. All women are fine, And sheep are divine, But a llama is numero uno! |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: L R Mole Date: 03 Nov 00 - 02:25 PM No, but I'm getting confused myself now.Feeling fear: in fact, I quake in pterror, Dactyl. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 03 Nov 00 - 11:31 AM How 'bout Anne of Green Gables? Is Anne a pest? |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 03 Nov 00 - 09:56 AM Ok, so now I'm really confused. When I read L R Mole's little ditty, I find myself naturally putting the emphasis on the first and fourth sylables of each phrase. According to Seamus Kennedy, that would make them double dactyls. Also, in my Higgledy Piggledy, the emphasis is on the first and fourth sylable of each phrase in the first half, but it's on the second and fifth sylables in the second half. So according to Seamus Kennedy, that would make the first half double dactyls, but the second half would be something else? Keep in mind, all of you who are not poetically challenged as I am, that it's pretty easy to confuse me. Help? Carol |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: L R Mole Date: 03 Nov 00 - 09:01 AM ANAPESTIC BULLETIN (doo-dah...): I've heard it said that it's the opposite to the heartbeat, and therefore can physically weaken people who hear it (?); that there are lots in the Stones' music but none in the Beatles' (not true: I think "Come together" is an anapestic rhythm if not lyric) and that remembering anapests hasn't been a problem for students since Queen's "We Will Rock You". Anyway, I like a/Rattling Anapest/Better than Limericks./Where is the crime? I throw my collar up/Pocket my hands and go/Rhymically whistling/Three-quarter time. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Midchuck Date: 02 Nov 00 - 08:51 AM What is the limerick's true physiogamy? Dactyl or Anapest, what can it be? With measured tread, the Dactyl steps heavily, While the Anapest gallops with glee! P. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: mousethief Date: 01 Nov 00 - 06:07 PM Sorry; an anapest is short-short-long; a dactyl is long-short-short. Gotta learn to proofread some day.
Alex |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: mousethief Date: 01 Nov 00 - 06:05 PM LH: No, those aren't dactyls. Dactyls have 3 syllables, the first being accented and the last 2 unaccented. "Militant feminist" is a double dactyl. The opposite of a dactyl, of course, is an anapest, which is long-short-short, and Dr. Suess's favorite meter. Although once you get started it's sometimes hard to tell the one from the other.
The Assyrian came down like a wolf on the fold
Alex |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 01 Nov 00 - 05:25 PM Oh, like...harum, scarum. holus, bolus. rock 'em, sock 'em. That sort of thing...? |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 01 Nov 00 - 12:11 AM Little Hawk- Higgledy, Piggledy; strawberry, raspberry; Seamus |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,Frugz UK Date: 31 Oct 00 - 07:30 PM There once was a pastor from kings Who liked most ethereal things His most ardent desire Was a boy in the choir Who'd an arse like a jelly on strings |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Little Hawk Date: 31 Oct 00 - 07:15 PM What is a double dactyl? |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 31 Oct 00 - 03:39 PM Seamus...just wanted to see if you were paying attention. Good job! Carol |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 31 Oct 00 - 02:46 PM Carol C, don't eeeeewww me! I caught you (once again) using your double dactyls - in a Limerick thread, no less. If you wish to use your DD's (and fine DD's they are, to be sure) please do so in a DD thread. Yr ob svt. Seamus |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: sledge Date: 31 Oct 00 - 11:29 AM While involved in a bestial act He acted so matter of fact The pig gave a squeel as he had a feel But the farmer caught him, he's sacked. |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: CarolC Date: 31 Oct 00 - 03:43 AM Seamus...eewwwww....... |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 31 Oct 00 - 03:18 AM There was a young vampire called Mabel Whose periods were really quite stable. One night at full moon She went down with a spoon And drank herself under the table.
And a horrible fellow from Munchez
All the best |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: hesperis Date: 30 Oct 00 - 12:54 PM An arrogant man from Marete Declared he would not face defeat When he met with a foe Who could make him eat crow He would thus beat a quite fleet retreat That's from Quest for Glory V: Dragonfire, one of the world's best computer games. Which has actually seduced me away from Mudcat for a couple of days. Hmmmmm... See ya! I'm off to be a Wizard, a wonderful Wizard from WIT (Wizard's Institute of Technology.) |
Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: GUEST,Elektra Date: 30 Oct 00 - 09:41 AM I've always liked that 'Japan' one, hehe...
In a similar vein:
There once was young man from Crewe
And then there's the guy from Verdun... But that's really more like cheating.
On a bawdier note, I saw one on a previous thread that reminded me of this:
There once was a girl named Jill
And now for something COMPLETELY different... Here's one for the prudes:
The great Aphrodite by Phideas
Sorry, can't remember who wrote that one either. :p *Elektra*
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Subject: RE: More limericks, eh? Part 3 From: tradman Date: 29 Oct 00 - 10:09 PM The St.Bees limerick by Gilbert is the last in my favorite book of limericks... "An Explosion of Limericks" by Vyvyan Holland, son of Oscar Wilde. The collection is literary rather than scatalogical or salacious, and often pokes good fun at itself as in the Gilbertian example or this one: There was a young man of Japan, whose poetry never would scan. He said, yes I know that this really is so, But I always try to fit as many words into the last line as I possibly can |
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