BS: HELP! Someone save Max!

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Feb 00 - 06:12 PM

Well another day has been added and the pellets are plipping out.........gimmee a couple Cleigh......Thanks, I'll head for the auction.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 00 - 09:35 AM

Spaw, you're a classic:

tongue of poet, heart of gold, mind like broken Hefty bag, and a thin veneer of irascible curmudgeon on the outside just to keep things intersting. Wotta dude.

And lips like a possum-butt. Quelle embouchure!

A

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Feb 00 - 09:30 AM

Yes Owl, its true.....We are entering the final leg of bidding wars for for that dream date with Max. Will he be wearing a tux or a blue strapless evening gown? Will it be a night blowing kisses or possum? Will he get the full spread in Wyoming, one of the beltway babes from DC, the snappin' gators of the Tallahassee twosome, or will he be resigned to blow up a possum's ass, with photos.

Its leap year and on this special day, perhaps Max will leap into the marsupial ooze. Will his March come in like a lion or will it enter upon the tiny feet of a possum. Too soon to tell.....Stay tuned to this same possum channel for furthe news, or check the auction regularly as time passes slowly by.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Night Owl
Date: 29 Feb 00 - 12:19 AM

anyone else see the posting re: end of the bidding on this auction??? Some of us thought the auction is ending AFTER the radio show Wed. eve. ??????

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 11:59 PM

uh....so to speak......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 11:57 PM

Well Twidgett, I was just trying to get something straight between us.

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 11:44 PM

Hmmmphf. He told me reproduction was the whole point.

And what a point it was...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 08:28 AM

I think 'Spaw means that he, like the example "walrus" shown - is a reproduction..., not made of the "real stuff", in other words, a fake. *BSEG*

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 08:18 AM

Sorch, there's a song there...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Sorcha
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 01:13 AM

A walrus is made outa muscle and blood........and DEM BONES!

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 00 - 01:11 AM

Just because he says he is the Walrus doesn't mean anything -- you gotta make him show you what he's really made of...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 11:53 PM

Braggart.

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 04:42 PM

Just to add some musical content.......

"I am the Walrus"

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 04:23 PM

I think I went out with #OP-2 once...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: bbelle
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 04:04 PM

Ebbie ... I had a hunting guide friend in Fairbanks who promised to make me a necklace out of what he called "mink dinks." Unfortunately, he perished in his own plane before he could collect enough "dinks." Mink dinks and oosiks made the term "boner" seem all too real. Can you just imagine the social comment on a necklace made of mink penises??? ... moonchild

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 11:22 AM

Well, you may have found your destiny...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Ebbie
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 03:05 AM

I must say that that walrus penis bone replica is unimpressive. Practically every Alaskan home has a REAL oosik in it- and MUCH longer than 56 cm. And not crooked, neither...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: alison
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 01:21 AM

when I was a student nurse we had a young man admitted to the ward with a fractured penis...... (try giving a report to the next shift coming on about that with a straight face!).......

now I find out all these years later that they do indeed have bones in them..... hahaha

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 01:16 AM

Oooohh my!!! I like that large raccoon one! It's pretty! But I couldn't find it up at the auction, is it supposed to be there?

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 01:16 AM

I don't know why that would surprise me.......Is there ANYTHING you can't buy on the net???? Bill D. did some wacky calculation that came out to something like "If three people in the world have an interest in something, its on the web."

BTW Amos....I had a friend in college in an Ag class who came back laughing his ass off one day. The Prof, a generally subdued guy, had been explaining the possum and the ospenis and some lame asshole couldn't understand it. The prof tries a couple of different tacks and the guy is still clueless. In total exasperation, he finally yells at the guy, "ITS A BONY PETER MAN!!!!"

And for another "penile tidbit"......the Ohio State Marching Band has a "mascot" they keep in a velvet case, a petrified bull's penis...named Roger.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 12:51 AM

I think you should learn something about what you will be up against.

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 12:44 AM

It isn't Cleigh's hands I'm so worried about ...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 00 - 12:41 AM

Rue Bobba Rue Bobb a Bim Bom Bam! You ladies are hot stuff and I'm here to say thanks for keeping yon Maxwell out of the hands of that oz-penis whistle Clay O. Possum...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 09:52 PM

Max is safe, at least for the time being, and Sorcha, Kat and I are polishing up the WyomingWelcomeWagon. Eat our dust, Mr. Spaw.

Pansy Rue Bob Twidgett

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Mbo
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 02:19 PM

Mbo-jumbo? Wonder what that could mean?

--Mbo

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 01:41 PM

Go ahead ladies...run the bidding up on ole 'Spaw, afterall, it's for "THE CAUSE." (and it's your money)

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 12:58 PM

Hey Pansy!!!! Now personally I'd be all for seeing the three of you in a front page "spread" that kat mentioned.....But y'all need to send Ol' Spaw the negatives!!!!

Now regarding Max.......Well you better get the act in gear, cause I think the boy will be blowing possum ass real soon.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: WyoWoman
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 12:36 PM

I just hope the bids don't heat up tooo much. Sorcha, Kat and I are plotting a group buy so all three of us can have our way(s) with Max out here on the High Plains.

Max, you don't have any antelope allergies, do you? You can bring that pesky possum with you. We know what to do with varmints out in these parts. (We tickle they's tummies and waft a sage smudge-stick around their nether parts...)

Kat, Sorcha... where are you, girls? We have bidding to do.

xoxo, A Wanton WyoWoman

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:52 AM

Hee boy!

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 10:38 AM

Sabra...just stick to making heads and the tails will take care of themselves, I think...but better ask Spaw, who is the local expert on the latter. Not heads, tho -- he tries to enlarge his with a shovel occasionally.

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Sabra
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 01:56 AM

Oh my. I'm goin off to the auction site to see if I can make heads or tails of this (oops, no freudian stuff intended there folks) SHEESH! this newbie stuff is complicated around here...Sabra (who is still smiling, and heading off to find out about this mysterious HTML mmbo-jumbo as well)

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 01:32 AM

[We're reporting live from the Mudcat Auction Sidebar and things seem to be heating up at last. The crowd's really getting theor money's worth tonight! Several of the more vigorous men have apparently become entangled in a strange, oddly ritualized contest involving bodily functions, distance, and aim. I believe, although we have not confirmed this with our sources yet, that this is what the Americans call a Pissing Contest. Let's move in closer. We're sorry for the blurry video, I'll try to describe what we're seeing here for you people at home. As we join the action live, one of them is pulling off his fellow's addy. One of them is attempting to stick a pick up somewhere rather delicately, and the other is gesticulating urgently about a need to dump something else somewhere else. I can just make out the words… "Mr. Wizard…" Ah yes, one of the fellows is replying, although we had understood that is not his actual name. On the other side of the action, Ten's son appears to have mounted somebody, but now their bi**ing has dropped off... And standing on the sidelines is a lady, she looks rather disgusted and yet amused… if I can make out what she's…. "This lady does not care to be assumed to be up against anything that has to do with these gents!" It's a chaotic scene, ladies and gentlemen, stay tuned for updates… we're going back to the studio… Right, Nigel.]

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 12:36 AM

Well I'm a mysterious kinda' guy..........Sorry about that, I pulled the addy off an e-mail you sent me instead of looking it up.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 12:32 AM

Well, could but don't have it here at home -- you mysteriously sent it to my office, so I had to do this long explanation to all the VPs about CLeigh an' all and the whistle part, and where it was and everything...I have to go up there in the morning and maybe I can figger a way. Just need to dump it somewhere.

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 12:28 AM

Most of the folks haven't seen that picture Amos, but, uh...that joint would do. Say, can you stick the pic up here Mr. Wizard?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 00 - 12:10 AM

But the date has to be at the restaurant Cleigh stole the fancy goblet from...

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: MMario
Date: 25 Feb 00 - 09:35 PM

tension mounts, but bidding has dropped off.....

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Feb 00 - 12:55 AM

Before I turn in, I want you all to know that Amos has now seen "Cleigh, the Party Possum" and agrees that the boy is ready for a date with Max. Ladies, I will be happy to forward a copy of this photo to any of you so you can see what you're up against!!!

And the bidding goes on..............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 07:22 PM

Cracking up! How thoughtful!

A

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 07:17 PM

Mark my beachcomber buddy...tis YOU that be cruel!!! LOL

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 07:13 PM

Beautiful People
you live in the same world as I do
But some how I never noticed you before today
I'm ashamed to say
Beautiful people we share the same back door
and it isnt right we never met before but then
We may never meet again
If I were'nt afraid you'd laugh at me I would run and take hold of your hands
And I'd gather everyone together for a day
And when we gathered I'll pass buttons out that say
Beautiful people
Then you'll never be alone cause they'll always be someone
with the same button on as you include him in everything you do
Beautiful people you ride the same subway as I do every mornin
Thats gotta tell ya something we got so much in common I go the same direction that you do
So if you'll take care of me maybe I'll take care of you
Beautiful people you look like friends of mine
And its about time that someone said here and now
I make a vow that sometime somehow I'll have a meeting and invite everyone you know
I'll pass out buttons for the ones who'll come to show
Beautiful people you never have to be alone
Cause they'll always be someone with the same button on as you
include him in everything you do
he may be sitting right next to you
maybe a beautiful people too
and if you take care of him well maybe he'll take care of you
Cause all of the beautiful people do hmm and all of the beautiful people too.....

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Mark Cohen
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 06:08 PM

Hello, I just found this thread and I wondered if anybody knows the words to Beautiful People, by Melanie? I mean, you guys are all musicians, right? And that's such a far-out song.

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 06:01 PM

Me???? Wicked??? Is there another Catspaw around here maybe? Look Amos, I'll send you an e-mail with attachment to show what a loving guy I am and you can see that Cleigh IS a party animal and very deserving of a date with Max.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Mbo
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 05:59 PM

Don't I know it, paddy! Also Amos, Praise and Troll are trying for the forward pass, while the sad young poet's on the sidelines with his head in a cast. I abdicate my position--it's hard to be creative when something's put a LID (Lyrical Impairedness Disorder) on it.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 05:35 PM

Yer kind remark I must decline,
'Tis Spaw who has the wickeder mind
His wit is crueler than a dentist!
And I am only Spaw's apprentice.
But someday, if I study hard,
(if I am not hanged from a yard)
I'll learn to make 'em wince and laugh
And learn the art of the Gaffer's gaff.

A

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: paddymac
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 05:27 PM

Been away from the machine awhile (naw, that's a fib; just from this thread) - I see this has undergone a mudcat devolution. Amos is giving 'Spaw a run for the ultra-bawdy quipster title. Look forward to watching/reading the continued competition. BTW 'Spaw - you noted above there was "no salvation for Max". Thought perhaps you might have meant "salivation" the way the bidding was lagging along. I gather it's picked up a bit since then. :>)

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 05:00 PM

How long is Burt's tail, anyway? I imagine it would be hairless enough in a pinch, Spaw.

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Troll
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 11:21 AM

It isn't that Spaw's gettin' picky,

Or that he's gettin' feeble and frail.

It's that Bert doesn't LOOK like a possum

He ain't got a long hairless tail!

Spaw just gets turned on by possums.

Alive or dead, stiff, and cold.

And the tial is really important,

'Cause the tail gives him something to hold!

troll

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 11:12 AM

Gettin' picky in your old age, Spaw?

Subject: RE: BS: HELP! Someone save Max!
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Feb 00 - 11:03 AM

Mario, that's a good point....and I ain't the one to be blowin' up Bert's ass to find out!!!

Spaw