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Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 04:08 PM By the way--Liz has been doing a lot of travelling lately. If she's in geosynchronous orbit at least she'll get over that jet lag! That's one way to reset your circadian clock. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 04:04 PM Well that explains it! It also explains why the walls aren't quite straight in the back half of the house (great call, C-Bear!). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:43 PM and all the fat people are now thin and all the thin people are now fat. I thought Shatner looked svelte. Look at me! Size 5 and craving lettuce. Nicely done, duck-dog. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 May 09 - 03:37 PM The problem with letting Gluon "fix" things is that he-she-it can't really "return things to the way they were". What's done is done and can't be undone. Are you familiar with the Theory of Infinite Universes? In a nutshell, it says that if it's possible for either A or B to occur, and if A occurs in our universe, then there's another universe in which B occurs, but that universe is hidden from us. If you stop for a STOP sign in our universe, there's another universe in which you run the stop sign. (Shatner knows all about this 'cause it was the idea behind one of the old "Star Trek" episodes.) What Gluon does when he "fixes" something is to fold space-time so that the two universes flip-flop. They may be similar, but they're not exactly the same. That's why the volcano looks smaller. There are a few other differences as well, though most of them aren't quite so apparent. Here's a brief list of a few things that changed when Gluon "fixed" things: Garrison Keilor is good looking. Every character Steve Buscemi has played was still alive at the movie's end. I play guitar better than Tommy Emanuel. Rap music was a fad that only hung around for a couple of years. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:37 PM So Liz is the moon? She has tentacles, you know. Will they throw her out of orbit? Was she...uh...uh...properly covered when she went off? Oh my... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: ClaireBear Date: 07 May 09 - 03:33 PM You know, I think the post-Gluon house looks a little different from the outside, too. But I think Amos will like it okay. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: MMario Date: 07 May 09 - 03:32 PM High up enough that one orbit takes 24 hours - thus apparently stay ing one spot over the earth. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:22 PM geosynchronous orbit? explain... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 03:14 PM I, ah, kinda sorta accidentally blew up the outhouse that last time. I think that Liz was perhaps maybe inside. If she was, she might be achieved geosynchronous orbit about now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 03:00 PM LOL The skating rink is his mattress. Amos won't be laughing at anyone who's cold for a while anyway. Forget the wand. I think things are perfect just the way they are. But let's find Liz. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bill D Date: 07 May 09 - 02:56 PM *musing over the mess ....and clever, but strangely eccentric 'cleanup'. Who knows...,mebbe he'll like the new layout. (well, if he doesn't, Amos has only himself to blame for touting his local weather while we were freezing our butts off and shoveling snow.) Yep..it's fine weather, Amos... a great place to visit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: MMario Date: 07 May 09 - 02:46 PM I always suspected that about Bill S. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: ClaireBear Date: 07 May 09 - 02:44 PM We can solve the Shatner problem by deflating him -- remember? He started out as one of Little Hawk's blow-up plastic pals. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 02:38 PM Look carefully MS. Tam. he didn't quite get everything back to the way it was before we arrived. The volcano, for instance, is much smaller but is hiding in the toilet. Shatner is in the kitchen filling his face with green Jell-O (that alone will out us) and smoking cigars - that will go over big. Rapaire, the hockey team and the squid are still missing. So is Liz and don't forget she's contagious. Maybe we should just arrange an earthquake - he would never suspect that all the damage wasn't caused by an earthquake. Where is that wand? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: VirginiaTam Date: 07 May 09 - 02:26 PM Duck Dog How he stay so clean an white while clearing up mess? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: ClaireBear Date: 07 May 09 - 01:49 PM It was already in BADDOG tuning when we got here. It isn't all that different now. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Bill D Date: 07 May 09 - 01:37 PM You think Amos will notice his guitar is in BAGDAD tuning? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 01:13 PM heh heh That hat will survive anything won't it? A little singed and smelly but it just keeps on keepin' on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Ebbie Date: 07 May 09 - 01:13 PM INCOMING! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 01:08 PM Oy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 01:08 PM Gluon is fast and deals in Carl Sagan kinds of stuff--I'm sure the process of "putting things back" is subjective--to a duck dog's experience. The house, guest house, and rink are apparently NOT BLACK HOLES OR WORM HOLES, but that is probably the ONLY assumption we can make about this super-fast restoration. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 01:06 PM I just CAN'T take any explosives home...I'd be drummed out of the Legion. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Ebbie Date: 07 May 09 - 12:58 PM Well, I, for one, was counting my blessings when the whole scene became just a green hole in the ground. Amos, after all, does not have a good memory and upon seeing the hole his reaction was likely to be bemusement. But I don't know about Ghuon's 'fixing'. There is ALWAYS something left undone (Ever tried to have a party when your parents were gone?), something grossly out of place or glaringly missing or something like that. Well. I, for one, am not going to go around eyeballing everything to check it. I have done ENOUGH. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: GUEST,Tinker Date: 07 May 09 - 12:41 PM Ah the sun is now shining and My feet are raised.... I'd like a Margarita with lots of salt while I just enjoy the view... Gulon -- could you pull off that clean and organize thing at my house? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:33 PM Peeking through trap door: "Hey Duck. You put it back to what it was before Shatnergate. Must be like the refresh button on an Excel spreadsheet. You'll be clicking for days." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 12:31 PM Hmmm. How'd she do that? It's the old house and guest house (though I think she put back a few too many improvements--there does appear to be an ice rink back there, but the jello pit will have to be redug.) The credit card bill will still be huge, and I see all of Janie's pretty plates and the various pieces of furniture and library stuff. Did his hat and musical instruments come back to their old selves? What else did Gluon "fix" around here? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: GUEST,Gluon the duck dog Date: 07 May 09 - 12:28 PM Wags tail Can I put it back together now? Huh? Huh? Swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish swish (wags tail) There. For my pal Amos. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: wysiwyg Date: 07 May 09 - 12:20 PM Here's a note from a good contractor to help Amos recover his property values post-Tavern. Don;t fall for that doom and gloom talk at the end-- if the bid is high enough, he might just do it: ~S~ === In Order To by Kenneth Patchen Apply for the position (I've forgotten now for what) I had to marry the Second Mayor's daughter by twelve noon. The order arrived three minutes of. I already had a wife; the Second Mayor was childless: but I did it. Next they told me to shave off my father's beard. All right. No matter that he'd been a eunuch, and had succumbed in early childhood: I did it, I shaved him. Then they told me to burn a village; next, a fair-sized town; then, a city; a bigger city; a small, down-at-heels country; then one of "the great powers"; then another (another, an- other)—In fact, they went right on until they'd told me to burn up every man-made thing on the face of the earth! And I did it, I burned away every last trace, I left nothing, nothing of any kind whatever. Then they told me to blow it all to hell and gone! And I blew it all to hell and gone (oh, didn't I). . . Now, they said, put it back together again; put it all back the way it was when you started. Well. . . it was my turn then to tell them something! Shucks, I didn't want any job that bad. Kenneth Patchen, "In Order To" from Collected Poems. Copyright 1954 by Kenneth Patchen. Reprinted with the permission of New Directions Publishing Corporation. Source: Selected Poems (1957) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:05 PM Well! My work here is done. And SINS whistles her way happily through the trap door into the Tavern. "JD on the rocks with a twist please." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:03 PM This is all that is left http://www.durangobill.com/DesolationCynN.jpg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 12:01 PM False alarm, MMArio. It's not a duck. It's just Shat....run for your lives. Run for your lives! Oh the humanity! Folks it's almost impossible to describe. 400 lbs of Shat hurling through the air from thousands of feet gathering momentum and ooooooh the house is gone. the swimming pool is gone. the volcano is gone. the penguins is gone. no Jell-O pit. POOR POOR Liz - no outhouse. SPLAT! and it was all gone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 11:53 AM 300 big laughs! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 11:43 AM I'll turn the other cheek after that remark, Rap. Have you gathered up all of your explosives and heavy equipment so you can take it home when Amos gets back? Or is it all shrapnel in the back yard and surrounding county? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: MMario Date: 07 May 09 - 11:41 AM DUCK! It's c oming right at US! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 11:37 AM Look, Amos may not be the most educated or couth person around but I don't think it's nice to call him an "old bum". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 11:18 AM "Buns" and "bums" are interchangable across the Atlantic, aren't they? Janie, any idea what Amos is doing in Belize today? Maybe he decided to loose those brown trunks and tan the ol' bum. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 11:13 AM YUK She's oozing. This can't be good. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: MMario Date: 07 May 09 - 11:13 AM Wow ! Look at THAT! Do you see it coming! Is it a bird? Is it a Squid? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Ebbie Date: 07 May 09 - 11:02 AM "...he got a gander at the bare birds and buns the other day..." Stilly I first read that as 'bare birds and bums". I too thought I saw some. Liz? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 11:01 AM More like a closet invert-a-bra, I think. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: MMario Date: 07 May 09 - 10:34 AM And to think they said invertabrates couldn't host diseases transmitable to mammels. Unless Liz is a closet invertabrete? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 10:31 AM Actually after a roll in the molasses and a pillow fight in Amos' bedroom, the penguins are almost back to their old selves. To my relief they are covered with white feathers and no longer look like angry nuns. Hockey players in boas - quite fetching. Liz isn't looking good. Are those tentacles sprouting out of her back? I really think we should notify WHO. They may want to quarantine her...but don't do it until the party is over. I don't wan tto be stuck here with her especially if Amos is due back. A Big Bang above us? Neat! When? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 May 09 - 10:15 AM Anything that wasn't already cracked will certainly show the signs of that visit! What were you thinking? The neighbors might complain about that level of noise. (Did anyone think to invite the neighbors over to this party? That's always the best way to avoid complaints.) The neighbor's diaper service driver walked over with the generous donation of a stack of clean large white towels. I think he got a gander at the bare birds and buns the other day. So cute--"Bide A Wee" is stencilled along one edge. How's the beach today? Oooooooo! Ahhhhhhh! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 08:59 AM Oh look! There go the interceptors from Miramar Naval Air Station! By the way, I've arranged for the Blue Angels to do a fly-over at about 50 feet later today. They'll break Mach 1 just as they pass over. Sonic booms are great! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 08:59 AM Liz? Upset tummy? Cough? And you do feel a bit warm...oh dear god it's Squide Flu! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 08:56 AM Do you think he will go into orbit or should we notify the the Air Force? What goes up...I like the idea of fighter jets shooting down Shatner. But they will wonder where he came from. Maybe we should just wait and see. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Rapparee Date: 07 May 09 - 08:49 AM Well, he's certainly gone where no man has gone before. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: SINSULL Date: 07 May 09 - 08:10 AM Maybe if we put that Big Boy where the guest house used to be, Amos won't notice that it isn't there anymore. What do you think? Rumble Rumble RUMBLE RUMBLE... BBBBBOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM Damn volcano just shot Shatner straight up into the sky. He's babbling something about the final frontier or maybe a law suit. Can't really tell. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Tinker Date: 07 May 09 - 06:54 AM Sanitary??? Have you look around this place ? The squid has a pretty good track record at the tavern, I'd guess the hockey players... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house From: Liz the Squeak Date: 07 May 09 - 03:52 AM Cough cough splutter splutter... I think I caught something off that squid you know.... Are you sure it's sanitary? LTS |
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