Nothing happened while you were gone, Amos!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:48 PM

Barky has a way of being where she wants and needs to be, and she'd be SUCH a fine addition to this party. (Please let me know if she shows up, and then I will too.)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:46 PM

I knew it wasn't a cow. It's a baby mammoth. Not horns - tusks. Isn't he cute, all 300 lbs of him. Wonder where his mommy is...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:28 PM

Screw cleaning this mess up! Let's contact the media in Belize and plant a story that San Diego's been quarantined due to the Baby Mammoth Flu. When Amos hears it, he'll cash in all the beer cans he's been stockpiling since the beginning of his trip, buy a hacienda on a few hectares of land, and forget about livin' in the USA.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:23 PM

Well, I am no longer panicked (How could I have reported the truth to Palin?); since the snow and ice has been cleared I see that the moose is not the cow, or even vice versa.

By the way, I have news for everyone: Daisy, the cow in one of those links, is heavily pregnant. Anyone for a baby?

Amos will be so pleased. Idea: When he (inevitably) comes home, let's all gather inside and yell SURPRISE!

(The neighbor! lol)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:15 PM

Make that two of these for the cows. Will ya stop bringing in livestock, already!?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:15 PM

Oh look! Here come's a neighbor .

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:12 PM

Now stop messing with the bovine. House cows have quiet a following. I'm sure Amos will really appriciate our introducing him to this amazing experience.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:10 PM

It's a fake beard, he can toss it. And I suppose he can find a towel and join frogprince on a couch.

The new structure is going up, there's room for that thing.

Oh. I just realized why the smell. That's one of those dwarf woolly mammoths from Wrangel Island. See? Is this what it looks like?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: ClaireBear
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:09 PM

Rap. do you still have a few rolls of that lovely red and black Mediterranean carpet you took out of your house when you moved in? I think, given the bovine invasion, it might be prudent to replace the carpet in this living room. Meanwhile, I've got one of these for the cow.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:08 PM

Whoops -- looks like he brought a friend....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:53 AM

Stilly - I don't think it's a cow. And whatever it is, now that's it thawed out, it's pissed.

By the way - at least part of that stench is Rapaire's singed beard. I hope he had his clothes on when he rolled under the bed.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:50 AM

Nope. I draw the line at cows in the house. The one Amos took with him is NEVER going to smell like this creature. Ewwww, what a mess on the carpet, Amos is going to kill you, SINSULL. Why do you think people have problems with swine flu? Because at one point in time they used to let the pigs in the house! Cow pox, small pox, soon we're gonna end up with the MOAB flu and the MOABites will not stand for that! Nosireesir.

I just called in an urgent order to an Arizona firm. They're coming right over to put up one of these. The first space will go over where the old guest house was, no ground prep necessary, so you can get the cow and whatever else moved out there by evening.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:44 AM

Why exactly were you under the bed, Rap?. Be careful, water leaking out those light fixtures mightZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT...too late.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:24 AM

Yeah, Amos took that to Belize with him.

Hey, those San Diego SWAT team folks sure know how to party! And they're really good shots! They shot out all of the lights in Amos' bedroom and barely punctured the waterbed.

Never saw a waterbed with mirrors and lights on the bottom before, but this IS Southern California.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:19 AM

UH OH
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/04/fiberglass-cow-stolen-off-street-in-la-jolla.html

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:17 AM

Sage - I accidentally knocked down the Guest House. And Rapaire accidentally blew up the yard. The Jell-O pit is frozen over from the snow machine. The cow or buffalo or whatever the hell it is stays. But now we need a shovel. And some stain remover. And some air freshener.


I think Amos is going to be pissed...

Oh look - a nice soft couch for Bossie to sleep on. Here little cowie. Up se go.
Do cows have horns...or antlers?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 11:05 AM

Whoa! I think Amos would draw the line at cows in the house! Take that sorry creature out to the guest house, please!

Cows in the house. My gawd. What is the woman thinking? Next we'll hear she lets dogs in the house! On the furniture, even!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:54 AM

For heaven's sake, Tink. Bring that poor animal in here out of the cold. Here, Bossie. Sit by the fire on a warm blanket. A little hay; some water with a drop of whiskey and you'll be warm in no time.

It is a cow isn't it? Or a yak? Hard to tell...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:28 AM

Waaaah! It froze off the moose's rack. What will they say in Alaska?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:24 AM

You want a giant cherry bomb on top? How about this, painted red, instead?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 06 May 09 - 09:04 AM

It's getting deep out there !

Whose tending bar? Something warm and strong please....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:45 AM

Hummm...sounds like a sundae to me. Lots of chocolate syrup, and one of these for the top?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 May 09 - 08:23 AM

This is getting serious. The snow has reached the volcano. It's plugging up the opening. It's beginning to look like a zit ready to explode. Worse yet the skiiers and snowboarders are crawling all over it. Meantime that idiotic squid has taken to ice skating. He's up there too. Should we warn the local authorities about a possible flood...or nuclear winter?
That would fix Amos but good, wouldn't it? If he came back from Belize to discover winter in California...
MMMMMWWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!


Liz is looking abit like that volcano. Hope they finish rebuilding the loo soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 06 May 09 - 02:53 AM

Cat can't be missing!

Has anyone called John F Weldon?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:29 AM

I say, does anyone have any TP?

The zamboni was delicious but it's having a fight with the stegoranadontasaurus and I think it might be a wise idea to put some windows in that new outhouse wall you're building...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 May 09 - 01:01 AM

artbrooks, he'll love it. My daughter lives in the same town and she always took her kids to the downtown snow. I'm going to give her a call. If I know her, she'll be here very soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:27 AM

I forget where I was going with this--oh, I remember now. Dinner. Enjoy! Great banquet in Tom Jones, but difficult to find since there is a singer using the same name.

Don't disturb the family. Let them live in peace. This party is our special gift for Amos. ;-D

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 May 09 - 12:03 AM

Uh...we forgot...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Tinker
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:48 PM

Well SINSULL, if we need quick local supplies it appears they do deliver.... Perhaps a few platters of sandwhiches and finger foods and a restock of the bar is in order.

We probably should do something for the local economy before we take off.... How long does it take to get superfund status anyway???

Did anyone ever turn off the snow making machines?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:30 PM

And 'expense' is the word, Janie. Amos's credit card is a marvelous thing.

As for Barky- I believe she is at college. Do NOT call her.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:16 PM

Why, I'm sure I don't know when I have had this much fun.

Fun is always so much better at some one else's expense. You know?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:15 PM

Amos and his tru-love gaze out at the moonlit cove.

Just think how excited he would be to know what he is missing at home!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:08 PM

Where the HELL is BARKY?!?!??!??!?

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Ebbie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:08 PM

Not to worry, Stilly- I've got my escape route all mapped out. Involves three of the connecting tunnels. He'll never even know I was here.

Not that I have much doubt that he'll know whom to credit - or blame, as may be.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:06 PM

Pardon the bold type.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Janie
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:05 PM

I think we have until at least Saturday to get the Welcome Home banner up -

Provided, of course, there is anything left upright to tie it to.


Don't know about the rest of you, but I'm heading for the victuals !




Not volunteering to get shoved in the volcano, but if time heals all things, it has been long enought that...oh, nevermind.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 11:02 PM

Ain't nobody gonna off nobody, iffen ya catch ma drift....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:43 PM

I do hope, when he finds this, that he decides that it is better to laugh his ass off and not off the asses who made this mess. Know what I mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:38 PM

What a waste of perfectly good Olive Oyl! Ate who, Brutus? Toss him in instead.

Just when did Amos say he was coming back? I think we can extend the cleaning potential from the Tavern into the house, what with all of these connecting corridors, doorways, and bottomless pits, but someone has to keep an eye out and get the cleanup started before he walks in the door.

Eat, eat! The food is getting cold.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 May 09 - 10:11 PM

...what can we throw into the volcano?

Well, tradition calls for a virgin, but they're in pretty short supply around here... How about a tanker truckload of extra virgin olive oil?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Bill D
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:58 PM

"Post it, Bill! San Diegans love their sailors"


Nawwww...he knows where *I* live, too!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: frogprince
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:57 PM

Nah, after the nuns got naked, they all decided to use the door out to Black's Beach. We've been having a blast out there playing volleyball.
Woooah, I think that one section of charred shell is the room where I left my clothes! Is there a towel left intact around here? I'm used to resort etiquette, as in having one to sit on when you sit on folk's furniture. I woulda put my pants back on, but...like...what pants?...
Anyone got any after-sun lotion? I sorta lost track of time out there.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Donuel
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:42 PM

Belize has the best selection of previously legally owned cars in the world.

What is Amos bronging back?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:40 PM

Isn't that where the cat went? and the nuns?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:37 PM

I haven't seen the cat. Has anyone seen the cat? Come to think of it, I haven't seen the naked nuns either. Is it time to slip back to the Tavern and put some thought into what we do next? So far, spontaneous (combustion and otherwise) has ruled, We really need a plan. And some more whiskey. We're out. Unless some place delivers. Maybe MMario knows...
That dirty man with all the strange drugs is making me nervous. He insists on lighting up near Rapaire.
Hey i know - what can we throw into the volcano?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:30 PM

I got my K-bar!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:29 PM

Pull up some planks and the saw horses I saw in the back of the garage, the FOOD IS READY! It took about 24 hours to roast that beast through, but there should be enough for the next couple of days.

Anything extra goes on Janie's fancy plates, covered with plastic and will be put on the rink to chill. But dig in. I brought some of Cousin's Bar-B-Que sauce from Fort Worth. It's the best! (Better get some of the silver from the kitchen, no way plastic cutlery is going to work with this meat.)

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:16 PM

Oh, goody! I've always been partial to fougasse and willy peter and thermite and stuff. Gotta keep Amos' pipes from freezing up from the ice rink, don't we?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:16 PM

Humming "All the nice girls love a sailor. All the nice girls love a tar..."

SINS carefully warms some salted water to melt the ice around the squid. SEVERN! Get away from that burner. We will have NO theatrics here.


WArm water in a watering can, add the spray attachment and, being sure to coat every damn bell with salt water, she heads for the ice rink. A little spray here and a little spray there and voila! though a strange shade of blue, the squid is free.

Meantime the rusty bells quiet down and the Morris Dancers make do with some single malt and ale. Apparently that careless remark about propagation has them all confused.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Tavern commences @ Amos' house
From: artbrooks
Date: 05 May 09 - 08:01 PM

Gasoline and soap flakes, cooked over a low fire? How about a few fougasses to barby the bronto?