BS: Different Takes On Jesus

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 12:51 PM

Thanks for the book reference, Bill. I am going to get a copy to read. Have to say, though, this is nothing new to Rosicrucians:

Jesus is portrayed as a conscious being who is cognizant of the character he is playing. Certain patterns, events and suffering are to be expected each time. There is nothing new, no surprises. Only minor variations occur.

bobad...LOL, thanks for the levity!

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 11:20 AM

Jesus?... He was pretty good!

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: SharonA
Date: 04 Jul 07 - 01:09 AM

JESUS' BROTHER BOB
by The Arrogant Worms

If you haven't heard of me, I wouldn't be surprised
I bet you know my relatives, their names will never die
My mother is a saint and my brother is a God
But all I am is Jesus' brother Bob

CHORUS:
Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob
A nobody relative of the son of God
If only I'd been born just a little sooner
I'd be more than the brother of God Jr.

I have to pay the ferry to cross to Galilee
But not my brother (no, not him!). He walks across for free
I finally get to work 'bout a quarter after nine
Already he's turning water into wine

CHORUS

One day when I was home, I heard a mighty roar (roar)
There were a thousand people right outside the door
"Help us Jesus, help us" came the cheering from the mob
Then they got a look at me: "Aah, nuts, it's only Bob"

CHORUS

He died up on the cross, I thought that I was free
Finally, people would get to know me for me ("Hi Bob", "Hey Judas", "Hey")
This was my big chance to finally get ahead
The next thing you know, he's rising from the dead

CHORUS

Everybody!
Jesus' brother Bob, Jesus' brother Bob
A nobody relative of the son of God
If only I'd been born just a little sooner
I'd be more than the brother of God Jr.

Ahhhhhhh-Bob [to the tune of "Amen"]

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Riginslinger
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 11:20 PM

Anybody ever read "The Last Temptation of Christ" by that Greek guy?

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 06:53 PM

More...a review o the book

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Bill D
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM

some VERY different takes on Jesus

sample:
Jesus: "Guess what's more debasing than to believe in something that never existed?"

Simon: "What?"

Jesus: "To stop believing in something that never existed."

(Thats'a short one...some pieces are many pages long.)

The book is almost impossible to characterize easily.

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:57 PM

(snort!) Oh my, Wolfgang, you are so terrible! ;-) You're almost as bad as that parrot on Youtube. Shame, shame...

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Wolfgang
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:52 PM

Well, it is fun as long as the examples are unpolitical and about people we do like or at the very least do not dislike.

The next example is a borderline case of funny, for it is too political:

Three good arguments that Jesus was Palestinian:
He had to leave at a very early age his native home in Palestine under threat of death.
His later death came at the wish of a large crowd of Jews.
He said: "I did not come to bring peace, but a sword"

The next one is not funny though it has the same structure as all of the above (looking for superficial similarities). We just do not like Jesus to be compared to a generally detested group (person) even ifwe know it is not serious at all:

Three good arguments that Jesus was (a former incarnation of) Hitler:
He could mesmerize large audiences by the power of his word.
He acted as if being a master of life and death.
His actual relationship to the females among his close followers is still a mystery.

Wolfgang (in a fit of very bad taste)

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:26 PM

The same friend I mentioned, who wrote "Jesus is the pasta in my life" also wrote another song - "Jesus is my drinking pal".

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: GUEST,BobL
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:33 PM

I remember this one as an "Irish" qualification:

... His last request was for a drink

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:31 PM

Same here Arran... if God hadn't wanted us to laugh at ourselves, he'd never have given us the ability.

I caused a near apoplexy in a curate once as I stood, barefoot, on the "high altar" to clean the windows behind it. As soon as he found out that it was only a pretty table and not a consecrated altar, he calmed down. He still hasn't satisfactorily explained the difference between a table and a table that is treated as a 'graven image'...

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: goatfell
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:08 PM

As a Christian I love it, some won't that's these Christians who have tunnel vision

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: bobad
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 11:51 AM

Jesus And His Brothers

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 11:03 AM

And Jesus was a sailor
When he walked upon the water
And he spent a long time watching
From his lonely wooden tower
And when he knew for certain
Only drowning men could see him
He said "All men will be sailors then
Until the sea shall free them"
But he himself was broken
Long before the sky would open
Forsaken, almost human
He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone
And you want to travel with him
And you want to travel blind
And you think maybe you'll trust him
For he's touched your perfect body
with his mind.
                   "Suzanne", Leonard Cohen

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Rog Peek
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:37 PM

Jesus was a working man,
A hero as you shall hear.
Born in the slums of Bethle-(Am)hem
At the turning of the year,
Yes, the turning of the year.

When Jesus was a little lad.
The streets rang with his name,
For he argued with the aldermen
And he put them all to shame.
Yes he...

He became a wandering journeyman
And he wandered far and wide,
And he saw how wealth and poverty
Lived always side by side,
Yes...

He said, "Come all you working men,
You farmers and weavers, too.
If you will only organize,
This world belongs to you,
Yes...

When the rich men heard what the carpenter had done,
To the Roman troops they ran.
Saying "Put this rebel Jesus down,
He's a menace to god and man,
Yes...

Jesus walked among the poor
For the poor were his own kind,
And they wouldn't let the cops get near enough
To take him from behind,
Yes...

So they hired one of the traitor's trade
And a stool-pigeon was he
And he sold his brother to the butcher's men
For a fistful of silver money.
Yes...

When Jesus lay in the prisoner's cell,
They beat him and offered him bribes
To desert the cause of his own dear folk
And work for the rich men's tribe,
Yes...

The commander of the occupying troops
He laughed and then he said,
"There's a cross to spare on Calvary Hill,
By the weekend he'll be dead,
Yes..

The sweat stood out upon his brow
And the blood was in his eye,
And they nailed his body to the Roman cross
And they laughed as they watched him die,
Yes..

Two thousand years have passed and gone,
And many a hero too,
But the dream of this poor carpenter
At last it is coming true,
Yes...


Ballad of The Carpenter by Ewan MacColl

Phil Ochs recorded this (with some minor changes) on "I Ain't Marching Anymore" track 12.

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Mickey191
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:30 AM

Sorry Joe. Remove the thread if you'd like.

---

No, Mickey, I wouldn't think of removing it - but I did want to gently point out that if you found it on the Internet, there's a good chance it has already been posted more than once at Mudcat.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 06:10 AM

What a friend we have in cheeses,

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:20 AM

We're bigger than cheeses.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 03:57 AM

We had a Religious Supper last night...


Four Cheeses Pasta!


Reminds me of a song a friend of mine wrote - "Jesus is the pasta in my life".

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: wysiwyg
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:56 AM

I always find it interesting how easy it is for us to remake Jesus into the way we'd like to see Him, instead of letting Him help us remake ourselves into how He sees us.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:47 AM

Jesus was a man who understood his divine nature. And he wanted others to understand their divine nature too. For the most part, they didn't get it.

---

Please note that anonymous posting is no longer allowed at Mudcat. Use a consistent name [in the 'from' box] when you post, or your messages risk being deleted.
Thanks.
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Joe Offer
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:17 AM

Deja vu, all over again.
-Yogi Berra-

(click)

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Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:03 AM

We had a Religious Supper last night...


Four Cheeses Pasta!

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Peace
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:16 PM

I agree with Jerry on that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:15 PM

Love it!   And all true. Jesus was all of the above.. :-)

Jerry

Subject: BS: Different Takes On Jesus
From: Mickey191
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 01:47 PM

I hope this produces just a smile - no offense intended.

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black:
1. He called everyone "brother"
2. He liked Gospel.
3. He couldn't get a fair trial.

Then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish:
1. He went into His Father's business.
2. He lived at home until he was 33.
3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his mother was sure he was God.

Also 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian:
1. He talked with his hands.
2. He had wine with every meal.
3. He used olive oil.

Also there were 3 equally good arguments that
Jesus was a Californian:
1. He never cut his hair.
2. He walked around barefoot all the time.
3. He started a new religion.

Also there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish:
1. He never got married.
2. He was always telling stories.
3. He loved green pastures.

But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman:
1. He had to feed a crowd in a moment's notice when there was no food.
2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it.
3. Even when he was dead, He had to get up because there was more work for Him to do.