BS: gnu needs our help

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 04:40 PM

Gnu, I have cut and pasted your rules and am going to make them into a lovely card for my wife for our first anniversary ....

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: CarolC
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 04:24 PM

Yer a good man, gnu, even if you are succumbing to geezerhood. But never forget, no matter how old you get, you'll always be younger than me ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Fortunato
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 01:20 PM

Yer nat as think as I drunk you ar.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: gnu
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 01:11 PM

Thanks all. BTW, I didn't make the rules. All I did was copy and paste them cause I thought some of them were cute. It was only meant in a humourous way and should be taken as such. I deny that such a post indicates that I hate women in general. It may indiacte that I had two or twelve b'day ales, but I realize that it is not PC to advocate the use of alcohol either, and I also realize thereby that this does not absolve me of any form of misjudgement in posting. Therefore, if anyone, male or female or otherwise, read any further than the first rule and was offended, well, f*** 'em if they can't take a joke.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Pseudolus
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:51 PM

Rustic Rebel said, "and like a rare wine, you don't get older, you just get better!" Of course there's also, "like a rare wine, the older you get the less chance there is that someone's gonna do anything with you other than put you on a shelf and talk about ya!!"

And according to RichM's definition I think I've been a geezer since I was eight! Well at least those last two parts!

Happy Birthday Gnu!!!!

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:21 PM

Side note: I don't understand the up toilet, down toilet controversy. Why do we women buy the fuzzy lid covers if we don't want it closed so the covers can be seen? The issue is NOT should men put down the seat, post-pee, it is that both sexes should close the whole thing down. It's not hard to train oneself and it looks purty.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: kendall
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 12:19 PM

If one cant see, that's bad. However if you cant FEEL something the size of a toilet seat. well...

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 11:39 AM

gnu - I know how to work the toilet seat. The problem is I am legally blind without my glasses (an exaggeration - no medical advice needed) and in the middle of the night, when I can't locate my glasses, I tend to "fall in" so to speak. The cold wet porcelain puts me in a very nasty mood. So put the seat down!
And have a wonderful day! You are too warm and fuzzy to be a geezer but curmudgeonhood is fast approaching. Embrace it!
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Fortunato
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 11:16 AM

Happy !@#$ing Birthday, gnu. I was chastized last night by the bartender for language unbecoming a southern gentleman like myself. (I was raised in the Old Dominion, you see). And therefore I'm watching my step today, hence the euphmistic encription above. Cheers and all the best, Fortunato

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: gnu
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 06:08 AM

Hrothgar... the last game I saw (Sunday, taped) was great - Ireland and Scotland. O'Driscoll was amazing, as usual.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: RichM
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 05:35 AM

Happy B-----, gnu.

What's geezerdom? It's when you reach the stage where you say what's on yer mind, when ya don't mind what others say, when you scratch an itch without worrying who can see ya, and farting is considered healthy.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: mooman
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 03:32 AM

Geeezerhood is cool (I become a fully accredited old git in May!).

All the best gnu,

mooman

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Hrothgar
Date: 08 Mar 02 - 03:29 AM

Does do you find that football on TV doesn't get any better as you get older?

HB

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: mack/misophist
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 10:54 PM

And what's wrong with geezerhood, I ask you? Of course I'll never know. I'm a curmudgeon, myself.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 09:23 PM

I was thinking about changing my nickname to threadkiller. Nah, too long.

On a serious note... and don't ever take me seriously, unless I'm serious, of course,... thanks again for the fete mon amis. I truly cherish the times I have spent with you Mudcatters and I look forward to future banter with you... Hran on.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 09:08 PM

... just the right amount of PC awareness.

Gosh, I thought so, but some of the 'Catettes seem to think otherwise. I've been (almost) branded a woman-hater, although the ladies that broached that moniker were quick to point out that I probaly wasn't, if I could atone. I guess I'm just a typical male, no better, no worse.

By the way, I am a gnu, so, for the Hyde side, that is, the Wildebeestes, here are the rules, by the numbers :

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. 1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again! 1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it. 1. Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sports, sex, and cars. 1. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. 1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it! 1. We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand. 1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. 1. Check your oil! Please. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days. 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done - not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we. 1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: lady penelope
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 09:06 PM

" May the light of a thousand stars light the path to your dreams"

Another year nearer to enlightenment........well that's what they keep telling you!!

May your star shine brighter....

Much Love, Luck & Happiness....M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:59 PM

When I get older, losing my hair_ Many years from now
Will you still be sending me a valentine_ Birthday greetings, bottle of wine?
If I'd been out till quarter to three_ would you lock the door?
Will you still need me_ will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?
You'll bo older too-Ah_

And then there's; Age ain't nothing but a number, and like a rare wine, you don't get older, you just get better!

Happy day Gnu!
Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: little john cameron
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:54 PM

Happy birthday auld yin.At first when ah read the heading i thought "Ah hope this is no the end o the gnus as the weather forecast isnae very guid. ljc

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: GUEST,Giac, sans cookie
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:50 PM

Good gnu's, chariot's comin', good gnus ...
Oops, wrong song.

Happy daze are here again. Well, that's gnus to me.

Awww, have a happy anyhow!

Mary

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:33 PM

I have seen no signs of incipient geezerhood in gnu's posts. Sharp and observant with just the right amount of PC awareness. Happy Birthday the noo', gnu.

Murray

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Morticia
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 08:07 PM

Oh Ancient One, let me add my felicitations(chuckle)...

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 07:56 PM

I'd be right fucking proud.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: kendall
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 07:38 PM

What is the danger of geezerhood? Ending up like me.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Cobble
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 07:31 PM

Geezerhood, aint that when looniness, madness and nonsence leaves your body for someone younger.

Happy birthday, Cobble.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Gareth
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 06:57 PM

Actually did not Flanders & Swann have something to say on the Gnu ?

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: artbrooks
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 06:26 PM

I REALLY hate to ask, but what is the official Mudcat definition of geezerhood?

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: SharonA
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 06:25 PM

Happy Navel Day! ....um, I mean, Natal Day!

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Kim C
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 06:20 PM

Happy Birthday to gnu, happy birthday to gnu.... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: GUEST,beachcomber
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:13 PM

Gnu,

No danger of ........ extinction ? ...one fervently hopes or are Gnu (Is that the plural of Gnu too?) still in plentiful supply? Have a good one mate,

Beach

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:09 PM

Oh well then, have a blast. BTW, I did not mention in my PM that I was having an "Intervention Day", so.... aw, fuck it.... I'm too tired to argue.... I guess I'm geezered. Thanks for the solicitations all.

Joe, I'm sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 05:01 PM

gnu, this is not a birthday thread. It's an intervention.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:59 PM

Such a pain in the ass having friends!

HB, G.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:56 PM

I must ignore the bleats of the wailin' wildebeast. Happy Birthday, gnu.

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: gnu
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:52 PM

Oops my ass !! Leave it to a woman to do EXACTLY what you asked them not to. grrrrrrr. But it's my fault. I should have kept my mouth shut instead of... whoa... it's your fault... no, mine... thanks CC.

I'm getting the hang of this PC, compromising, anger management, interpersonal skills, modern man BULLSHIT... but it ain't EASY.

confusedgnu

PS.... Please do not post to this thread. Joe Offer is right, Birthday threads are a waste of cyberspace.

Subject: RE: BS: gnu needs our help
From: MMario
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:44 PM

yppah letan yad GNU!

(carol - it's probably the chill from the eight mile thick ice sheet he encountered earlier today - freezing his blood)

Subject: gnu needs our help
From: CarolC
Date: 07 Mar 02 - 04:39 PM

I hate to be the one to bear this news to my fellow 'cats. But here it is...

Your friend and mine, our own, dear, gnu, has just turned, well, I won't tell you what he turned. But he just got a year older. And I'm very concerned about him. From some of the things he's written recently, it looks to me like he's succumbing to geezerhood. That's right, I said geezerhood.

gnu needs our help. We can't let this insidious condition become permanent. We must do something to bring him back to his senses and his normally youthfull state of mind.

So here's a virtual glass of cold water in your face, gnu, my friend...

CUT IT OUT! NOW!

...and have a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Anybody got any good songs for gnu about the hazards of geezerhood, or of just getting older, generally?