BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!

Subject: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:42 AM

(A friend sent this to me, and I haven't whooped so hard in a while...enjoy!..xx..e)


I have been a Travel Agent for thirty Years. This is why we're in trouble!

I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information, then she interrupted me with, "I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts." Without trying to make her look like the stupid one, I calmly explained, "Cape Cod is in Massachusetts, Capetown is in Africa." Her response ...(click).

A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that is not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, "Don't lie to me. I looked on the map, and Florida is a very thin state!"

I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."

An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas. When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."

An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!

A New York lawmaker called and asked, "Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to whom?" I said, "No,why do you ask?" She replied, "Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think that is very rude?" After putting her on hold for a minute while I 'looked into it' (I was actually laughing). I came back and explained the city code for Fresno, CA is (FAT), and that the airline was just putting a destination tag on her luggage.

A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked, "Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?"

I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them."

A lady Senator called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola, FL. Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?" I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever!

A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China. After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"

A New Mexico Congresswoman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York." The agent was at a loss for words. Finally, the agent said, "Are you sure that's the name of the town?" "Yes, what flights do you have?" replied the lady. After some searching, the agent came back with, "I'm sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country and can't find a Rhino anywhere."The lady retorted, "Oh,don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is. Check your map!" The agent scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered, "You don't mean Buffalo, do you?" "That's it!   I knew it was a big animal," she said.


Now you know why Government is in the shape that it's in.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: GUEST,Hugh Jampton
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:01 AM

Ellenploy, they are well worth the read and the laugh.
How about the tourist who reported back to the travel agent that the couple had enjoyed their visit to Windsor Castle (Berkshire, UK)but "why did they build it so near the airport?!!"

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:34 AM

Thanks for the chuckle. Be Blessed.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 27 May 04 - 08:04 AM

Seems to help prove the 80% rule that I've developed working in Motor claims.

80% of the population share a brain cell and most of them have never seen it. Add to that that it is a prerequisite of political life to be in that 80%......

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 04 - 08:15 AM

Travel broadens the mind. But in America's case' I'll make an exception.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 27 May 04 - 08:26 AM

amusing - but more sad then anything else - becuase unfortunately you KNOW there is truth in them.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Cluin
Date: 27 May 04 - 08:45 AM

I got this one years ago in my e-mail. This recent alteration of it seems designed to pick on politicians and lawyers, as the original didn't dwell on the occupations of the "stupid customers" involved.

I'm not too troubled by the picking-on-piloticians-and-lawyers aspect, but I question why insurance company people were ignored.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Mrrzy
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:20 AM

Piloticians... ha ha!

Who said that one difference between Europeans and Americans is that Americans think 100 years is a long time, but Europeans think that 100 miles is a long way?

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: mack/misophist
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:10 AM

Ridi Pagliacci.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:15 AM

Wal, I 've heard it said that in America they believe in central heating and individual plumbing, and in England it's the other way around.

A

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:33 AM

As I started reading I thought "I have a congressonal aide story I can share" but on reflection I don't think it would fit afterall, because it's true and these anecdotes are contrived. I will simply offer a gentle nudge in the ribs and suggest that some folks are rather gullible.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:00 AM

I was under the impression that these were real, but if not, I will hasten to bet they're close to spitting distance from the truth.

While living in Greece, my sister-in-law wanted to know if I'd driven there from the States.

I never underestimate human gullibility, but I also never overestimate human reasoning..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:07 AM

I think some of these lists start with a kernal of true stories but as they make the rounds people can't resist adding manufactured events or a particular slant (house and senate in this case) to them and they lose any credible flavor, is all.

I have a collection of silly stories from my work over the years in National Parks around the country. But I wouldn't collect them into one list and send it around, because they would end up forwarded and altered.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:15 AM

Fair enough, SRS, though I bet you have some doozies..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:22 AM

There's a story from Ellis Island that's pretty good, and ended up with an apology from high-up in the custom service. . .as short as it can be, it has to be crafted carefully. Maybe later when I have a little time. I'm at work right now (just taking a quick dip in Mudcat for a change of venue).

Do you have any of your own stories, Ellenpoly? Something to give a nice segue into silly Mudcat stories?

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: kendall
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:28 AM

I'll tell you one that I know to be true because it happened to me.
One day while I was in the Fish & Wildlife service, I was talking to a tourist on the wharf in Portland Maine, and he asked "How far offshore do the boats have to go to catch Finnan Haddie"?

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:33 AM

I'll have to give it a think, SRS. Working in Theatre for many years, and also running a hotel in Greece for a decade, you'd think I'd have stories galore. But either my mind has edited out the really bizarre ones, or too many brain cells have leaked out onto my pillow.

Most of the time, they were one-liners. I do remember one fellow, the boyfriend of a dear friend of mine, who asked me who wrote Macbeth. I told him a guy named Hamlet, and he didn't even blink.

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:44 AM

I'm sure they're funy to most Ellen, and I appreciated reading them but after living in Orlando for 20 years and being involved in tourism much of that time, all I can say is that it's all just sade.

I currently work as director of a historical organization, but I also lead walking tours of Orlando for the organization, you would not believe the stupid questions I get (and not just from "tourists" - but from Orlandoans).

At this point in my life, I work under the assumption that people are stupid. When I find one that isn't, I'm pleasantly surprised. That's one of the reasons I like Mudcat. Most of us here aren't stupid. Few other discussion groups I've been to are like that.

Years ago, when I worked in the New Century Clock and Watch Shop on Main Street U.S.A. in the Magic Kingdom at Walt Disney World I encountered the following questions:

What time is the 3 O'Clock Parade? (got that one at least once a week for two years)

Is the rain real? (Some actually thought that Diney manufactured it)

Are the birds real? (This one was about the little sparrows that fly & hop around picking up the food the idiots drop)

Where do you go on vacation? (some people can't imagine that someone who workds at Diisney would ever want to leave)

Why can't I find mouse ears with my name on them - they are all blank? (never thinking that we sew their name on each one)

I have a nephew that works at EPCOT - his name is John - do you know him? (When I worked at Disney, I was one of 25,000 employees of course today they have 50,000+)

Why do you make the ride lines so long? (yeah it's Disney's fault)

Why can't I stand on the top of this bridge railing? (This was often asked after we would ask guest to get down during parades. They often felt that if the fell, it's be ok becuase they would fall in the river behind them - but, of course everything is fake - that "river" is 6 inches deep)

How do I know where my car is in the parking lot? (yeah, that's the park staff responsibility)

I rode the train for an hour - why does it keep going in circles? (oh no! you mean someone moved the tracks again?)

Who lives in the castle?

Why don't you have Sea World t-shirts?

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:53 AM

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

Thanks for sharing these, Blackcatter!

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Bill D
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:57 AM

those stories read very well, and I would not be surprised that the kernel of truth is there..(It would be hard to write all those)...but a Google search reveals 28 copies, so I 'suspect' that they were sort of true at one time, but NOT all about congress members and such...Those folks need to be better informed than that.

I have personal knowlege of a few stories of that ilk, having worked in grocery stores and at a salvage yard and been a graduate teaching instructor in college. There ARE a few folks out there who simply are not equipped to think, or do not care to!

I heard an elderly lady complain on the radio that "daylight savings time would confuse the chickens"

I had several people ask me where to find the "aluminum angle iron"...(ok, that's a mild one)

I had one man REFUSE to comprehend about how he got his money back during the days of returnable bottles...(typing up the conversation would take hours!)

I KNEW a woman who thought she could make the water drain from her bathtub faster by squishing her hand up & down over the hole.

The stories about geography are being eclipsed by stories about computers and people who have NO idea about where 'files' exist, or what is in the menus at the top of the screen, or what that 'cup holder' is really for.

I think the world is simply too complex and moving too fast for many.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:57 AM

I kid you not - I had a person at the Archery booth at my ren-faire last summer who complained that we didn't have laser sights on the bows.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: GUEST,Hugh Jampton
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:01 PM

Blackcatter, are the resident owls still to be seen on the canal that connects the two lakes in Orlando?

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:02 PM

"I KNEW a woman who thought she could make the water drain from her bathtub faster by squishing her hand up & down over the hole."


You mean it doesn't??????

;-D


..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:11 PM

Blackcatter, are the resident owls still to be seen on the canal that connects the two lakes in Orlando?

I'm afraid I'm not aware of this - there's canals connecting about 10 lakes in Orlando and we have plenty of owls. So I'm not sure which canal.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:33 PM

I posted this here 3 years ago:

A person asked me once near the Big Thunder Mtn. Railroad: "Could you tell me where the Magic Kingdom is?" I tried to explain that she was IN the Magic Kingdom, but she would have nothing of it. I could not persuade her, so I gave up and told her to turn around, walk through Adventureland to the center, go through Main Street USA until she got to the entrance, take the boat or the Monorail to the parking lot, get into her car and drive out to Interstate 4. Make a U-turn at the next interchange and follow the directions for the Magic Kingdom.

The next day I found out from my supervisor that she followed my directions and then when she discovered I had lead her on, she complained and insisted that I be fired. My luck the stupidest Disney guest ever was good at remembering names. I was not fired - she easily proved herself to be an idiot to the people she complained to so all I got was a reprimand.

-------------

I posted this list here in 1999 - This'll prove that I'm pretty consistant:

Stupid questions asked of me when I worked at Disney World 1985-87:

What time is the 3 o'clock parade?

Is the rain real?

Are the birds real?

Are the horses real? (usually asked after one drops a load - the horse, not the tourist)

How do you make it rain?

When do the pirates take their break?

Can the Monorail drop me off in front of the Castle? (This is asked from a location where it can be clearly seen that there is no Monorail track anywhere near the Castle.

Why don't you have a Southern accent?

Which park do you go to when you're on vacation?

My friend Bill works in EPCOT, do you know him? (this in a company with over 30,000 employees at the time)

(While standing in the Magic kingdom) Where's the Magic Kingdom?

Where is Disneyland?

Where are the Sea World toys?

Where is Shamu?

How will I find my car if I didn't think to remember where it was?

-------------

and the ultimate question, AND I SWEAR a fortyish man asked me this:

Is Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?

----------

Once again - all those questions were placed to me over 2 years of working for the Mouse. I'm now a professional historian, so I do not make things up.

Maybe I'll give you a list of stupid questions on the historic tours I lead sometime.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 May 04 - 01:11 PM

When working in a deli, I have been asked How much is the free coffee?
Ref: Wildlife--Where are the cages? How much do you feed the coyotes?
Overheard in Yellowstone: Where are the 4 Faces?
Overheard at Mt. Rushmore: Where is Old Faithful?
And the numbers of people I have seen feeding wild bear, bison and moose is incredible........

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 04 - 01:17 PM

I had a really strange request when I worked at the Great Smokeys. A woman came into the Sugarlands Visitor Center lugging a heavy hospital-variety nursing machine and requested a private space in which to use it. I found a back room where she plugged in and expressed. She came back with a cup or so of milk in the container and asked "where can I dump this stuff?"

"Down your baby" was the answer that occurred to me, but I simply pointed her at a sink. Having since had two children of my own, and having had to use one of those machines myself when my son was in the NICU, I'm still rather puzzled at her attitude toward the milk as something more than mildly distasteful. I guess she was just naive about nursing and over-prepared for travelling sans the baby. I always expressed by hand to save it for later. There's a lot of room for conjecture--where was the baby, would she be doing this if the baby had died? I don't think so. Her behavior didn't indicate any bereavement, just distaste. Odd. A little mystery to puzzle over.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 01:20 PM

You should have had her feed it to the bears.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 01:24 PM

I used to occasionally work in the Haunted Mansion - one of the jobs was to seat people in the "Doom Buggies". They are in motion all the time, so the guests step onto a moving walkway to then get into the buggies. In order to seat people properly, I would walk backwards on the walkway. People would aks - is walking backwards difficult? As if I was the first person they ever saw do it.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 04 - 01:30 PM

People would pull off the road to Clingman's Dome to feed and approach the panhandling black bears. Rangers would get frowns and complaints from those visitors when we drove by. It was SOP to stop and tell people to leave the bears alone if we observed them feeding bears. The bears always saw us (and probably knew our distinctive hats from a mile off) and fled. Their departure upset the people who could be seriously injured but were instead thrusting their small children towards bears in order to take their photos together. It's my theory that Disneyland is the perfect vacation destination for people like that. [sigh]

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Bill D
Date: 27 May 04 - 01:39 PM

one of my favorite expressions

"It's too bad ignorance doesn't itch."

at least pure ignorance CAN be scratched...stupidity can't. I try to feel pity and compassion for the truly stupid and/or retarded-- I have very little sympathy for those who make no effort to comprehend the world and learn basics. Sadly, it's hard to tell which one you are dealing with at times....so I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt the first time.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 01:56 PM

I'll post my 101 Ways to Get Yourself Killed at Disney World sometime.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Firecat
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:33 PM

How about "Which Roman Emperor is Hadrian's wall named after?" "Erm....Caesar?"

"Where is the French Riviera?" "Spain"

"Is East Angular in Portugal?" (She meant East Anglia, in the UK!)

And more like this...

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: mike the knife
Date: 27 May 04 - 04:32 PM

ooohhh.... good ones.
When I was living in Heidelberg Germany, I used to get tourists im my shop asking me how to get to the "Schlob" (Schloss=Castle). The "Scharfes S" (which meas two 's') looks like a weird capitol 'B'.
I once (briefly) worked for Barnes & Noble (financial distress & needed a job immediately) and the wonderful retired teacher who ran the fiction section was almost in tears- either from laughter or dismay, as he related a story: He was stocking the section that morning with a very young woman who noted the abundance of titles by Dickens. She mused that he must be a really popular author, given the amount of shelf space he commanded. The Teacher, pleased that the youngster was taking interest said, yes, he is indeed rather well thought of. To which she replied: "When is his next book coming out?"

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Sam L
Date: 27 May 04 - 05:57 PM

I worked in an art gallery where we got fun questions.

Do you make all this stuff? Yes. Chuck once tried to explain that nobody in a lifetime could learn all the different techniques to make all this stuff, and that, for example, this ceramicist hass an MFA in ceramics. Reply--Ha! You8're kidding.

When we move gift stuff out of the way to hang a show of pictures people ask Are you moving? No, we just made space because we're having a show, and I indicate the walls of paintings. Reply--Really, what's it going to be?

We had some of those inflatible figures of Munch's "Scream" and people kept asking if it was the kid in Home Alone. I started saying yes, but it was from the original silent film, a german expressionist movie starring Klaus Kinski's father, called Das Kinder Ist In Der Zimmer Mit Kein Alte Leute!!!--or whatever German-sounding title I could fake.

Once when I was entering a credit card purchase, and the machine beeps as you enter, a woman asked if she was standing too close to the pictures. Yes, and instead of asking you not to, I push this button here to beep you away.

But I can't make too much fun. Once a guy came in with a smudge on his forehead and I said excuse me, you have a smudge on your forehead. He said It's Ash Wednesday. I said oh yeah, I saw that on the calendar. But, seriously, dude, you have this smudge on your forehead.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:00 PM

On entering an old plane in the Caribbean, the man in front of me asked the stewardess "Do these planes crash often" she replied "No sir, only once". Be Blessed.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:11 PM

Ha!

Ever tell anyone they have a red dot on their forehead?


Here's a story from when I was working in the Orlando Public Library. I was working the front desk one day, and a man and a woman walked in. The lady started toward the fiction section and the man the opposite way. While passing by me (and still walking) he looked over at me (I was 20 ft away) and called out "Catcher in the Rye."

Not knowing what else to do I called back "J. D. Salinger."   

Upon that, the man turned 180 deg., and yelled to his wife: J. D. Salinger, not Tennyson!"

I've always wondered what Catcher would have been like if Alfred Lord Tennyson had written it.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Bill D
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:31 PM

one of the reasons I am 'delicate' on these issues ---

from a thread on "Illiteracy" several years ago

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 06:45 PM

Well one of the things that Disney taught me was to answer each question in a way that doesn't make the guest feel stupid.

This is sometimes difficult to do - thought the truly stupid wouldn't notice it, even if you told them.

I remember one day when I was stationed during a parade next to a sign that said restrooms with an arrow pointing the way. I was not standing in front of it, yet no less than 4 people in the space of 20 minutes walked up to me and asked me where the restrooms were. They were American, one and all, so unless they were part of a "illiterate trip" one wonders why they couldn't see the sign.

The 3 O'clock Parade was another weird thing. Every day, Disney prints up a sheet of the schedules of the days special shows, events and parades, since those can change from day to day. Everything on the list has a location and a time next to it - except the 3 O'clock Parade. It was, of course, names because that's when it happened, and the people in charge of the daily sheet thought it was obvious - and it was, except for a few dozen people out of a daily guest poulation of 20 to 80 thousand.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: kendall
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:25 PM

There was a woman in upstate Maine who called the highway department and insisted they remove the DEER CROSSING sign near her house. She complained that too many deer were getting hit there.

By the way, for those of you who don't know and are too afraid to ask, Finnan Haddie is smoked haddock.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: kendall
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:27 PM

The late Marshall Dodge told of a woman who asked a mink farmer, "How often do you skin them"?
He answered, "More than once a year makes them nervous."

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:15 PM

Okay, slightly embarrassing confession time. I have always prided myself on being courteous and professional to visitors at parks where I've worked, and I had many complimentary letters in my personnel file to attest to this. But sometimes stuff just slips out. One summer I was working not for the National Park Service but for a commercial cave in Kentucky called Diamond Caverns (in Park City, and part of the Mammoth Cave system, but not part of the park). It had gorgeous formations, but was fairly deep and had about 120 steps down into the cave, that ended at a concrete walkway that was slippery on one side that was a little steep. So I always had people walk around the other way.

I had a tour of about a dozen people, and we'd already gone into the cave. Since this is a commercial operation and every time you turn the lights on it cost$$, they send people into the tours up to five or ten minutes after they've already started to avoid running extra tours. The guide just catches the newcomers up and proceeds. A couple were coming downstairs, and I shouted to them "Please go around to your right. Your right--no, around to your right" as they came around to the left and nearly slipped. Muttering under my breath, "geez--are you deaf?" and the others heard me.

Yup, they were deaf. Boy did I feel stupid. BUT--I used my limited sign and copious finger-spelling for the entire tour and wowed the rest of them and pleased our deaf visitors, who confided to me that no one had been able to talk to them in the other caves they had visited. I sent them from there up to the National Park and told them which ranger to ask for because she knew sign language.

This was a state minimum wage job, and we worked for tips, like in waitressing. For all that visitors with special needs always made for more work, I always got much better tips when they were along and people could see how seamless I could make a tour and still include those visitors. This was where my college and professional training paid off (most of the tour guides in private caves were high school kids who didn't have a clue about being naturalists). And those are some of my favorite memories of the years I was an interpretive naturalist, when I could make places come alive for many visitors in ways they hadn't been aware of before.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:17 PM

They could have saved a lot of money if they specialized in blind tourists . . .

And then there's the obnoxious and mean tourists.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:42 PM

Ha! I got some great tips on one tour when I realized the boy waving around a weak flashlight was legally blind. He had a special monocular device for looking at things close-up. I had him stay up front with me and between stops I pointed him at some of my favorite small (but identical in proportion to the big ones) formations that he could see close-up with my flashlight. Imagine being the parents of a handicapped child out in the middle of nowhere on vacation, and having someone recognize his need and able to accomodate them by pointing him in a direction that lets him see exactly what everyone else on the tour is seeing--without being overly conspicuous to the rest of the tour--that was magical for the parents and the boy, but also for me. When you open that door, you have to answer questions, but if you also provide tools for further investigation you're helping everyone.

It's great work, if you can get it.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 27 May 04 - 11:47 PM

Funny - I kind of felt that nearly everyone who visited Disney was handicapped in some way.

Especially those who were on their honeymoon - (when do they have time for the sex?)

And those traveling with an infant. ("Honey - hand our 6 month old over to the giant mouse.")

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: GUEST,Augie
Date: 28 May 04 - 12:45 AM

I have a dental practice and I like my patients.Many, if not most of them are smarter than I in many areas,however... as I frequently need to ask them to move their jaw to the left or to the right while checking their bite, a staggering number reply, "Which Jaw?"
(Ah, go ahead , move your upper jaw)

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Blackcatter
Date: 28 May 04 - 01:51 AM

That got me thinking - I wouldn't make the same mistake, but I'm curious - is the jaw just the moveable part that holds the bottom teeth, or does it also include the part that holds the top teeth? I know the upper teeth are part of the skull, but is the jaw the joint thing - like the elbow or knee, or what?

Oh and one more thing I've always wanted to ask a dentist - what the hell is up with wisdom teeth?

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: GUEST,augie
Date: 28 May 04 - 02:56 AM

There are 2 jaws-just bones,really.Both part of the skull,both hold teeth.The upper (maxilla) and lower (mandible) meet at the Tempromandibular Joint (TMJ).You're right in that only the lower moves, this through the interaction of half a dozen facial muscles.

Wisdom teeth? God's gift to oral surgeons I guess.How else could dull, myopic, humourless individuals earn such a lucrative, if mindnumbingly boring living. Seems like they almost never fit properly (the wisdom teeth-not the oral surgeons).I have heard many suppositions regarding why they're there and why they don't fit.None definitive nor overly convincing.

Does this qualify for the most boring part of any thread ever on Mudcat? Sorry folks.

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 28 May 04 - 03:41 AM

Not at all! I found it most interesting, augie. Listen the whole point is that people SHOULD ask questions, and be answered. What this thread shows is the difference between the ones who think before they ask.

"Maybe I'll give you a list of stupid questions on the historic tours I lead sometime"-Blackcatter

Yes, please! Also the 100 ways to kill yourself at Disney World.

I was remembering when I worked selling battery-powered toy puzzle cars at the Ideal Home Show here in London. There were always two questions which were asked time and time again-

"How much are they?"-(There were price signs located just above our heads....half a dozen of them, and it was also the very first thing we told them when they came up to the booth.)

"How do they run?"-(Asked immediately after we said they were battery powered. I just got into the habit of then saying they were operated by a two-inch-tall driver who had be specially trained for the job. Often they would nod their heads, and then ask how much they were.)

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: I dare you not to laugh at these!
From: Flash Company
Date: 28 May 04 - 11:28 AM

The earlier posting about feeding the bears reminds me of a incident I saw at Chester Zoo many years ago.
The Lion enclosure is seperated from the roadway by a six foot wide flower bed, beyond which is a wide concrete wall with mtal posts and a high mesh fence in the middle.
Someone lifted a five year old girl across the flower bed and onto the wall where she poked her arm through the wire to attract the attention of the lions! Oh boy!
A lioness came across the compound like an express train. Fortunately, a woman with slightly more sense than the parents screamed, and someone snatched the child away just as the lion hit the wire. Mother then had hysterics!

FC