What if it never happened?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Richard
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 01:23 PM

Oh, you can keep it. It's just a ten dollar stetson.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 02:43 PM

Actual genuine Shel Silverstein song "Wreck Of The Old '49" . . .

Well, I'll sing you a song 'bout the old Forty Nine,
The fastest engine on the Santa Fe line.
On the 14th of April, she made a desperate dash,
And she got there on time and she did not crash . . .

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Phil
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 06:59 PM

What if Huddie never strayed from the fireside of right?
What if Hank never saw the light?
What if Johnny never walked the line?
What if Woody never saw the sign?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 02:54 AM

If we are moving off folk (whatever that is!)

What if the only man who could ever reach me was the son of a window cleaner?
What if the girl from Scunthorpe went walking?
What if I loved Frankfurt in the springtime?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 03:32 AM

What if Napoleon hadn't met his Waterloo ?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 03:43 AM

This rather spoils my idea to write a song 'I Never had Sex with Monica Lewinski'

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 09:15 AM

What if Musgrave had talked his way out of it? (Your sheets? What, these sheets? And your fair lady - ah. Look, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding...

What if the outlandish knight had said, "You're right, it's not fitting that such a rogue a naked woman should see, but then it's not exactly fitting that I'm about to kill you, is it? Go on, drop 'em!"? What if the parrot being in the window so high, hearing the lady did say "Pretty polly! Pretty polly! Awwk!"?

What if George Collins had thought Hang on a minute, 'your life shall not last you long', what kind of an invitation is that??

What if she'd opened up a book of poems and handed it to me, written by an Italian poet from the thirteenth century, and I couldn't make head or tail of the damn thing because I don't know medieval Italian?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: CupOfTea
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 09:59 AM

What if Barbara Allen had taken a fancy to William from the get-go?

What if Sovay's darling gave into the demand for the ring when faced with sword & pistol?

What if the Nutting Girl had a quota she had to fill?

I do love this "what if it never happened" scenario, found among parody editing:
A holiday, a holiday, the first one of the year
It rained in droves
So Matty Groves
Stayed home and washed his hair.


Joanne in Cleveland

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 10:22 AM

What on earth would we all do if the bodhran had never been invented?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Tootler
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 12:59 PM

I failed to get my Mojo Working

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 02:23 PM

I can't not get no satisfaction.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Bounty Hound
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM

What if 'that meeting' in 1954 never happened, would we all be listening to new folk songs?

Hastily ducks back below the parapet!

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Bounty Hound
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM

What if 'that meeting' in 1954 never happened, would we all be listening to new folk songs?

Hastily ducks back below the parapet!

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Andrez
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 06:04 PM

What if Morris never danced?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 03:14 AM

Almost a serious question here: Are there rappers who are simultaneously rappers?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 08:12 AM

What if seven gypsies didn't queue in an orderly fashion for their turn?

What if John applied for university instead of getting his pit boots on?

What if Al Johnson was a pigment of your imagination?

What if the 1954 smug buggers were right and there were no new folk songs?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 08:14 PM

So Lord Randal looks at the bowl of eels and eel broth his sweetheart served up and said, "Gee, thanks, honey, but I'm in a real big hurry to get home right now," kissed her on the cheek, and stopped off at a Burger King on the way home....

Don Firth

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 03:42 AM

What if General Taylor lost the day?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:10 AM

What if the Wolfe Tones were Orange?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:36 AM

What if Master didn't call Johnny Boy?

What if Sally went round the geraniums?

What if nobody told the King of Patrick?

What if nobody had thought of putting candles in wine bottles? If pubs didn't have function rooms?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:01 AM

What if there were actually no "paradise" to be paved and turned into a parking lot?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,M
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:39 AM

What if I've got a brand new freedom to spend my pension fund as I wish and you've got loose morals and expensive tastes?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Wee Jock
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 10:07 AM

What would have happened if Sam had'nt gone away would anybody be any the wiser, we must be told.

Cheers

Wee Jock

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 01:56 PM

What if the bloke who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp hadn't also put the ding in the lama-lama-ding-dong?
What if the heavens hadn't cried?
What if Mama hadn't told me not to come? Or if I'd just done as I was told?
What if I'd got the bus down a fair London street, instead of walking?
What if somebody or other hadn't said, back in 1937 or thereabouts "Why don't we get together and sing these old songs before they disappear? We could call it a Folk Song Club"

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:23 PM

What if the answer actually is blowin' in the wind?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,achmelvich
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:27 PM

i don't wanna live like common people like you

may you sometimes lay your head down without a hand to hold

i couldn't drink more than a couple of pints of you

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:59 PM

Who wants to be a millionaire?




Me.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 08:01 PM

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his thumb.

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 09:08 AM

What if
I didn't have a hammer
Casey Jones 'phoned in sick
John Henry decided to be a lawyer
The driver of the Ol' 97 decided "the hell with the speed record, I'll slow down at the curve"
The Midnight Special shined the light on someone else
The train I ride had only four coaches
Tom Ford said to "Mr Howard". "Hold my gun, give me the hammer, I'll hang the picture".

RtS

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 02:33 PM

....Or Dave was a slim six-footer, or Al was a skinny bugger, or Leadfingers was Manitas de Plata, or our other Manitas had no work on, or Will had no wings, or the harmonium could fight its own battles?....

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 05:15 PM

What if Andrew Rose had become a tailor! :-)

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 03:33 AM

What if a young Martin Carthy said "Bugger that. It makes my fingers sore. As for that F chord, well named.."

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 05:09 AM

mike m

what if the wheels on the bus didnt go round, now theres a thought !!

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 05:41 AM

John Henry said: "steam drill, sounds like a shrewd career move, I'll retrain, no more bloody hammer for me".
The 6.5 Special was delayed because of the wrong kind of leaves on the line.
Pretty Boy Floyd had become the face of Lynx.
"Take a walk along the banks of the Ohio? Not bloody likely".
"A room, Mr Ledbetter? Of course, come on up. Welcome to Washington".
"And Irene and I lived happily ever after".
The crew of the Irish Rover , even the dog, were rescued by the lifeboat crew.
There's a house in New Orleans called Dunromin'.
I came from Alabama with water on the knee.

RtS

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 06:03 AM

What if Ewan MacColl had never changed his name?
(Whoops! Wrong thread...)

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 06:08 AM

More a case of "What if it did happen", but would Bob Dylan still have had a career if Pete Seeger had got to the power board with that axe?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 01:43 PM

Just inspired by another thread. What if Hitler had both his balls?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 08:46 PM

What if Frankie and Johnnie were both guys....?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 10:39 AM

What if Lonnie Donegan's old man had been an accountant instead of a dustman?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 11:56 AM

What if her two breasts standing so didn't give a mental image of two white hills covered with snow?

What if all those endearing young charms didn't make up for all the scabs on her skin?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 06:28 PM

Don: Cf. http://mudcat.org/Detail.CFM?messages__Message_ID=2722584

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 07:03 PM

Guest, if I'm the "Don" you're addressing, I am unable to access. Can you put it in the form of a link?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 09:10 PM

What if Willie Nelson didn't give a hoot about the plight of farmers?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 07:40 AM

What if I hadn't shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die?

What if Sonny hadn't stayed at home?

What if that young cowboy, Billy, has left his guns at home; or maybe hadn't grown restless at all?

What if young Jack Duggan* had stayed in "I-err-land, in a place called Castlemaine" where he belonged?


*Doohan, Doolin, Doughan; take your pick!

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Warwick Slade
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 11:46 AM

What if it wasn't the last thing on my mind!

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Tootler who cba to login
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM

The Rosabella isn't sailing today.

And anyway, we're not a deep water ship with a deep water crew

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 08:20 PM

What if Bonnie George Campbell HAD come home but his horse hadn't?

What if it had all been brightly lit in the dungeon?

What if Captain Kidd had had a bicycle and never sailed?

What if all the flowers had not gone anywhere?

What if my jet plane had been grounded by fog?

What if I'd never done the strip at Inverurie?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:21 AM

What if William Taylor was a fitter's mate in Ford's body shop in Dagenham?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:27 AM

What if it's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me, but the roadworks on the East Lancs Road?

Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:31 AM

Actually, I've just realised that that line scans beautifully. I feel a parody coming on...