BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Mmmm pie!
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:21 AM

Me like pie...

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:23 AM

Dammit PIIIIIE!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:03 AM

I got yer PIE for ya!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:58 AM

Damn...somebody has hijacked my thread! So many suspects, but I think it was John O' who did it!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,chilly visitor
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:23 AM

hey, man! Like, I was just walkin' thru this place, and like, somebody hijacked my threads!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:57 AM

That answers Martin Gibson's question from another thread. Saddam doesn't wear underwear.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Once Famous
Date: 20 May 05 - 12:03 PM

If you want to know how to hijack a thread, please send me $19.95 for my special TV offer,

"How to Hijack a Thread and Ruin a Pseuodo-Intellectual's Day"

You will learn secrets I have been honing for many years.

All for $19.95. Operators making doody now.

.............but wait! there's more!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 20 May 05 - 01:35 PM

Great thread!

Really

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 May 05 - 02:42 PM

BOOGALAH!

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Big Mick
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:16 PM

What a bunch of rookies! Grab yerself a Coke, put a stupid smile on your mug, and go sit in the corner while the Big Mick shows you how it's done.

Ready?

Could someone give me a definition of folk music?

Told ya.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:50 PM

Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear...

OK. sigh...

Why is it that I have so tenuous a grasp on what is folk that I cannot tell when it is country? I kind of figure that country has repeated choruses and more simplistic form but I don't know that to be true.

So Folk is a ballad that tells a story and is passed down from generation to generation with undetermined origin or author? When do contemporary ballads become Folk? What are those songs called in the meantime?

Country started out as 'hillbilly' music then was called 'Western' music, still later called 'Country and Western' and is currently misnamed 'Country' when it would be more accurately named 'Country Pop' or 'Country Rock'.

Forget I said anything, Big Mick.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 20 May 05 - 05:55 PM

Listen, Mick, you big Irish [BLEEP for antisocial behavior] - do you really [BLEEP for improper use of the verb 'fucking'] think that anyone gives a flying f*ck [BLEEP for antisocial non-asterised 'u'] about folk music? Why don't you just take your bagpipes and [BLEEP for really antisocial behavior and anatomically impossible suggestion]. And furthermore, [BLEEP for ...you know - whatever]

---

I closed this thread as it's incitement. I then re-opened it because it should never have been closed in the first place. I realized it was just silly fun and not really as evil as it first seemed. My bad. --JoeClone

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:07 PM

The faces of EVIL.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:09 PM

Thanks MG for the word "doody" ... whatever happend to Howdy, he was a hell pf a lot kewler than Telly?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:11 PM

Actually you don't have to hijack a thread, they eventually evolve inot a hijacked situation themselves.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:21 PM

Now see what you started, Mick? Even sucked in Joe O, fer cryin' out loud. (What does that phrase mean?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 06:56 PM

Spatulas are the key.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:01 PM

Little Hawk, in reference to your post of 9:12 a.m., I'd like to point out that the correct usage is "turn any thread into a steaming heap within 7 or fewer (not less) posts."

Becky in Tucson

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:05 PM

That's right, Brucie! Spatulas! Even better, spatulas and condoms! Or, better yet, spatulas wearing condoms! No! Wait! Spatulas wearing condoms and socks-with-sandals!



And I thought everybody knew the answer the question, "What is folk music?" Simple! It's music to folk by!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:09 PM

Unless you've been told to go folk yourself. In which case, where does that leave a guy?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:09 PM

GOATS.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:20 PM

Well Done Desert Dancer - Pedantry will almost always hijack a thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 08:44 PM

GOATS ..... naw, they're kind of ... demonic. Don't want to go there.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,HLW
Date: 20 May 05 - 09:28 PM

The mind of Harry Lee Wigley has been explored ad nauseum, but mere humans have only just begun to make headway into its depths.

This is something with which one may occupy one's mind while one keeps an ear out for the flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: khandu
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:39 PM

"The flush of a distant toilet"...that is one wonderful phrase, enveloping all sorts of imagery!

Longfellow, Poe, Burns...all of them would drool over that phrase. Think of the wistfulness Longfellow could have put in that phrase, or the terror Poe could envoke...I tell you, Ebbie has found a phrase filled with possibilities and...magic!

k

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 10:52 PM

Not only that, but Ebbie has beat Mr Google. In quotation marks, the phrase appears nowhere on the www.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:04 PM

This ought to hijack the thread, for sure.

Sent to me by a friend.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:05 PM

If nothing sticks to Teflon, how do they get Teflon to stick to the pan?

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:15 PM

The process they use is rapid flash pan freezing. They drop the temperature of the pan down to minus 203C. Then they vacum wrap the inside of the pan with a sheet teflon. Then they rapidly raise the temperature of the pan back to room temperature thus sticking the teflon to the pan. The whole process for one pan takes approximatley 17 seconds.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:20 PM

"The process they use is rapid flash pan freezing. They drop the temperature of the pan down to minus 203C. Then they vacum wrap the inside of the pan with a sheet teflon. Then they rapidly raise the temperature of the pan back to room temperature thus sticking the teflon to the pan. The whole process for one pan takes approximatley 17 seconds."

Who KNOWS this stuff?

OK, number 6. How do they get the caramel inside the Caramilk bar, huh? G'head.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: number 6
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:32 PM

Jeezuz Bruce ... how in the hell would I know that !!!

Subject: The Mother of All BS Thread
From: GUEST,the reluctant prophet
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:37 AM

HA! Every post that has been entered here could have just as well fit in the MOAB thread, and would have made MOAB more entertaining than what it is now. But, NO, you did not post it on MOAB, you chose instead to post here! But what you do not realize, you poor innocent puppets, is that you did post it on MOAB because this thread is MOAB, a "warp" if you will, in the cyberspace bs continuum!! This thread was hijacked the moment it was created by the vacuumous void known as MOAB. You do not believe it?? Well, neither do I, but it IS true!!! LOOK!! LOOK!!! IT WAS ALL A RUSE TO SUCK THE UNSUSPECTING INTO MOAB!!! IT IS TRUE!!

Consider this; this thread was created by Khandu. Think. Who created MOAB?? Coincidence? Not only was this thread & MOAB created by Khandu, HE WAS ALSO THE FIRST TO POST ON BOTH THREADS!!!! Coincidence??

Notice that a slim few of MOAB regulars have posted to this thread. WHY? Because they are posting regularly on MOAB and since this thread is MOAB, they are posting regularly here, so why should they bother to post here? SEE!!! SEE WHAT I MEAN!!!

I AM UNDONE!!! THIS THREAD WAS HIJACKED BEFORE IT WAS CREATED!!! MY HEAD; IT SPINS LIKE A PAIR OF FRILLY LACY PANTIES! I AM UNDONE!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:48 AM

"MY HEAD; IT SPINS LIKE A PAIR OF FRILLY LACY PANTIES! I AM UNDONE!!!"

PLEASE, tell us more. OK, just tell ME more.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:30 AM

Moaby Dick, by Herman Mudville.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:04 AM

Pablo Picasso by José Ruis Blasco?

Some of the stuff at:

DOCUMENTACIÓN DEL ESTUDIO

3.- Informe pericial caligráfico (ilustraciones)         doc        217MB
- 8,10,11,12,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,28,29,32,…         jpeg        variable

are quite nice, and at higher resolution than commonly available for early "Picasso" works.

Anybody do a decent Spanish/English translation?

John

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 May 05 - 04:17 AM

Thank you, thank you. (bowing right and left) I do love the felicitous turn of a phrase and doubly so when I manage one meself. :)

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 May 05 - 09:37 AM

Notice that a slim few of MOAB regulars have posted to this thread.

As a MOAB regular, I can attest that there is no MOAB regular who goes by the name "Slim Few". Nor, for that matter, is there a MOAB regular who goes by the name of "Dearth".

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 10:30 AM

What makes the pulse to wildly race?
What makes the fevered blood to rush?
What makes the neck's stiff hairs to rise?
The distant sound of the toilet's flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Peace
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:13 AM

And as I stare into the bowl
And hear the pipes that lightly gush,
I ask where all the lumps have gone?
O distant sound of the toilet's flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:49 AM

But wait, one single turd remains
I poke it gently with a brush
Then button pressed, once more I hear
The distant sound of the toilet's flush.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,L.C.
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:05 PM

Very nice entries brucie and JennyO, very nice indeed. I would not discourage your poetic endeavors. Yes, they are worthy of praise.

Yet, I must add that something is lost in the paraphrase, though the rhyming is excellent.
" distant sound of the toilet's flush." just does not have the same "uumph" as does "The flush of a distant toilet"
Notice that the arrangement of words in the phrase as you use them is somewhat awkward.

I think the word "distant" is the key here. Its placement is critical for the desired effect. By placing it at the beginning, you have shown your trump card at the onset, thus taking away the joy of the game, so to speak. The five words following the word "distant" actually do not embellish, but rather, detract from the power of the word.

Think of the word "distant" as you would think of Mel carter's saxophone on the version of "Going Home" on "Alchemy", the live album by Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler plays a riff on guitar, which is immediately echoed by Carter on his sax. The marvelous design and mixing on this instrumental gives it an aura that defies space and time and all their restrictions. Carter sounds ten thousand miles away from Knopfler here, yet comes across clear and strong. It is a work of brilliance.

As is "The flush of a distant toilet"

The "distant sound of a toilet's flush" would be Bobert and Martin Gibson playing "Going Home" in their living room on cigar box guitars with rubber band strings.

But pay no attention to my review. I am no poet. My best examples can be found on bathroom walls.

L. Cohen

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:18 PM

All right, Leonard - does this please your ears better?

I dropped the pasta in the pan
All meaning for to boil it
But I was interrupted by
The flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,L.C.
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:23 PM

Excellent!! JennyO. You have risen to the task, as I had no doubt you would! Excellent!!

Poetry such as this may someday gain you the International Lester Cohen Award for Poetry Such As This!

L. Cohen

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:50 PM

Why, thank you Lester (Lester???), from the bottom of my ...er ...um ...heart! I would be deeply honoured to receive the prestigious ILCAfPSAT award. One day it might sit proudly on my mantlepiece beside the Four Legged Emu of the Snalbans TSC award, and the much travelled Gulgong Chorus Cup.

Alas I have to leave this thread
Not wishing I should spoil it
While hearing, on my way to bed
The flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:58 PM

You put long quotes from someone else's thread in italics

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:59 PM

Sign it...... GUEST Shambles

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:59 PM

Then you sneak in with the 100th post, and pretend you are learning the octave mandolin...
Giok ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: JennyO
Date: 21 May 05 - 12:59 PM

I knew when first I penned these staves
Some bastard had to spoil it
So I'll no further rhyme upon
The flush of a distant toilet.

But ah, the cord that binds my heart
What wisdom can uncoil it?
the distant sound of highland pipes
The flush of a distant toilet.

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: GUEST,Jack Halyard
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:14 PM

The cat has tangled up my legs,
But soon, when I uncoil it,
You'll hear, behind its dying wail,
The flush of a distant toilet.

Go then, my friends, to pen and ink,
be to your keyboard rushing,
I hear upon the distant air,
The sound of toilets flushing.

Alas, some villain spoils the game,
With pedantry insistent.
What matters is the toilet's flush,
and not how you place "distant".

Subject: RE: BS: Advice Sought -How to Hijack a Thread
From: Bill D
Date: 21 May 05 - 01:23 PM

...say, did I ever tell about my hernia operations? Well...when I was in the 5th grade, I....ummmppfff....no! ..wait....ullggg,.....mmmppppff